Consider Yourselves Kitties
by DaniZaraki
Summary: What happens when you cross kittens, the Akatsuki, two teenage girls and lots of free time? Chaos. Lots and lots of Chaos. First installment of my Kitty Trilogy. OC warning. Potentially being rewritten at some point due to my annoyance with all the errors and OOCness that I can easily fix.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello:D_

_Truth be told, I'm usually not a huge fan of OCXCannon stuff, but hey, if the story is interesting and well written, I'll read and enjoy just about anything._

_I started this a few months ago out of boredom and I found it recently so I decided I might as well put it up on here._

_I obviously don't own any of the Naruto characters. I only own the OCs._

_And so, enjoy.  
_

* * *

"So," Kisame began, breaking the silence that had fallen over the Akatsuki. "Does anyone have any idea what the hell is going on?" His tail twitched in slight annoyance as he looked over the nine other members around him.

Itachi turned his silky head toward his large, blue companion. "We have, in some way or another, become felines."

"We're fucking cats!" Hidan hissed, pouncing closer than necessary to the impassive Uchiha. "We are little animals with whiskers and tails and Jashin knows what else!"

Sasori rolled his amber eyes. "Felines and cats are the same thing you moron. Now shut up, you're causing a scene."

"What scene, un?" Deidara questioned. "We're in a box, yeah." He was rewarded with an annoyed blank stare from his Danna.

"A fucking huge ass box!" Hidan corrected. "There is no freaking way out of this thing." He walked over to one of the cardboard walls and pawed at it.

"All of you need to calm down. We'll figure out something, just relax." Pein said calmly.

"What are we going to do for food?" Kakuzu wondered, his strange eyes drifting over Hidan's silver head to gaze at their leader.

Pein turned his attention to Kakuzu. "We'll figure it out when the time comes."

"We can always push the box over!" Tobi meowed excitedly. He was currently swatting Deidara's tail around playfully.

"Quit it, un!" Deidara snapped, whacking Tobi's orange head with a blonde paw. "This is all your fault anyways, yeah! Why did you have to press that damn button, un?"

Tobi scampered away to hide behind Zetsu's black and white form. "Senpai is being mean!" His orange face poked out to face Deidara from behind Zetsu. "Tobi was just curious! He didn't know the button would turn them into kittens in a strange place!"

"If only I had my clay…" Deidara mumbled, glaring at Tobi with his blue eyes.

"The more pressing matter is our location." Itachi said dully. "Where are we?"

Hidan growled. "We can't see out of the box to know, Uchiha!"

Itachi rolled his blood-red eyes. "This is true, but I can't sense any chakra signatures and I've personally never heard the sounds surrounding us before." He paused as a loud honking droned in the distance. "That button could have sent us anywhere."

"It's safe to say we aren't anywhere familiar." Kakuzu agreed. "I don't sense any one another than us so I think we might be alone."

"From what I saw while we were being put into the box by that old man, we are in an entirely different world." Sasori stated. "But how we ended up as cats, I'm not entirely sure."

"What if someone else takes us in?" Zetsu wondered.

Kakuzu looked at him. "We'll have to gain their trust long enough to find a way home."

"Fuck that." Hidan snapped. "Why rely on someone we don't know?"

"I don't like it either Hidan, but it is necessary if we want to survive in our now vulnerable forms in this new world. We can't exactly fend for ourselves as kittens."

Konan frowned as something approaching them caught her attention. "Do you guys hear that?"

"Tobi hears scary loud noises." Tobi confessed.

Konan shook her blue head. "No, it sounds like footsteps. It's getting closer."

All of the Akatsuki focused, their ears turning towards the approaching sound until it was right beside them. They looked up in unison to see they no longer were alone.

* * *

_I actually have a lot of free time these days despite my A.P. homework so I'll be more than able to update a bunch._

_Let me know what you think so I'm not doing this just for myself because that makes me feel alone:(  
_


	2. Chapter 2

_Second chapter for the win!_

_I'm not to sure how I feel about this...  
_

* * *

**First Person!**

I frowned as I made my way up the stairs to the front door of my condo when I saw a box sitting in front of it. I could have sworn Brett and Louis were home. Maybe they were just being the lazy jerks I knew they were and were waiting for me to bring it indoors.

I walked closer to the box and looked inside. I was greeted by ten pairs of adorable kitten eyes. I sighed. "Cats." I cursed. "To be honest, I'm a dog person. You cats aren't exactly my cup of tea. Turn into puppies and you've got my full attention." I knelt closer to the cats.

A little silver one attempted to climb up the wall of the box to get to me. He was meowing angrily and was pawing up at me with furry determination. I laughed. "Good luck with that little kitty." I scratched behind its ear and straightened up. I made to leave but was assaulted with a chorus of meows.

I looked back in the box. "Look kitties, I like cats, but I don't want any." I pouted when they gave me the kitty eyes. "No, I must resist my caring instinct! Don't look into their eyes me! Don't do it!" My eyes widened when I noticed a large blue cat. "BLUE KITTY!" I reached into the box and fished out the cat.

"You're adorable." I cuddled the animal. He was twice as large as the other kittens with the exception of two of them. He was a light blue with golden eyes and gill-like markings on his face. I looked back into the box. "Awe there's another one." I returned the cat and noticed the others looking at him with something I could only classify as amusement. The cat himself seemed to be utterly annoyed and shocked at the same time.

"Oh fine!" I pouted. "Give me a minute. I need to let the guys know." I stroked the fur of the other blue kitten before digging around in my pocket for my key. I quickly unlocked the door and pushed it open. "Lulu, Brett, will you come to the front door and give me a hand?"

"Alice!" Brett squealed in a very unmanly voice. I rolled my eyes. He wasn't exactly manly anyways. I returned to the box of felines and began dragging it towards the door, causing the cats to meow in shock and hiss angrily. I heard Brett end his skipping when he reached the door.

"What's in the box?" I heard him ask as he hugged me from behind. His actions can be more associated to hugging my butt considering I was bent over.

"Dinner." I said sarcastically. "Help me bring it in." He nodded and slipped around me to grab the other end of the box. I waited for another squeal.

"Kitties!" He exclaimed, picking up a blond kitten and snuggling against it. "Awe they're so cute!" He kissed the face of the one he was holding. I saw the kitten's eyes narrow when the other kittens meowed something that sounded close to laughter.

"Okay Bee, put the kitten down so we can bring them inside. It's cold out here." I pointed out, aiming to save the poor cat from Brett's affection. He's the biggest cat person out there.

"What's with all the squealing?" A deeper, much manlier voice asked. "And why are you bent over like that. As much as I love checking you out Alice, I disapprove of doing it on the steps when it's so cold."

"Shut up Louis." I sighed. "I'm trying to bring in this box but Brett's having a fangirl moment." I jerked my chin towards Brett when he giggled.

"Over what, dare I ask?" He asked hugging me in the same fashion Brett did. He looked over my shoulder and his eyebrows rose. "You have a box full of pussy?"

I rolled my eyes at his antics and snatched the kitten from Brett. "Move you raging homo." I backed into Louis, earning myself a perverted gesture as I finished dragging the box into the condo.

I straightened out and turned to Brett and Louis who were both now crouched around the kittens in the box, petting them and cooing at them. "So what are we going to do with them? Surely we can't keep them all."

"Don't call me Surely." Louis retorted without looking at me as he snatched up a brown kitten with black stitch markings in various places on his body. "We _can_ keep them. I don't have a problem with it. I love cats." He gestured at Brett who was petting the smaller blue kitten with concern in his eyes. "You know he's not going to get rid of them."

"Yeah, that's why I wasn't going to bring them in." I sighed. "But their cuteness got to me." I sat on the edge of our cushioned black couch and picked up a silky black one with red eyes. I stroked his fur absently as I watched Brett and Louis.

"Well, I want them." Brett stated. "Now that we have our own place, we can have as many cats as we want and mom can tell me what to do!" He grinned. "The poor things were dyed! This is not normal cat hair color!" He held up the tiny blue kitten. "Don't tell me you don't think she's adorable, Alice."

I rolled my eyes. "I think cats are cute Bee, I just prefer dogs." I shrugged. "If you want to keep them, so be it. We'll keep them." Brett cheered with happiness and danced with the distraught kitten in his arms.

Louis looked at Brett in confusion as he returned the smaller blue cat to the box and brought out another, crimson cat. "How do you know that's a girl?"

"Well, because she's freaking gorgeous!" Brett exclaimed. He looked into the box to beam at the tiny kitten. "Feline females and Alice are the only girls I'm attracted to." He placed the crimson cat in his lap and began running his fingers through his fur.

"Hey, let's take the cats into our bedroom, babe." Louis said, standing up with his brown cat. "That way we can get them out of the box and so they can't break anything."

Brett nodded and picked up two more kitties. I sighed and smiled at his retreating figure as he skipped upstairs to the bedroom he and Louis shared.

I picked up the blue kitten I had cuddled before after putting the little black kitten on my shoulder. I then lifted up a very calm orange one that had random black dots on his face, ears, and limbs. I noted that he had very peculiar eyes.

Louis trailed behind me, bringing the last four kittens along. Being the strongest of the three of us, he had no trouble. Not that the kittens weighed very much in the first place. He set his kittens down before closing the door behind us.

I saw Brett had dumped his kittens on the bed before rushing over to close the bathroom door. I set the two cats in my hands down before gently detaching the one on my shoulder from its spot. Then I took my seat on the ground against the wall with the black kitty in my arms.

"Hey love?" Louis wondered looking at me. I raised my eyebrow in question as I released my captive to allow him to wander around as I expected he wanted to. He didn't, he just sat beside me, watching us curiously. "Isn't Kathryn supposed to be coming over for the weekend?"

I dipped my head. "Yeah, we get together every weekend." I fished out my cell phone and dialed her number. I set it on speaker at Brett's pestering and waited for her to answer. The cats looked at my cell phone as if it was a bomb.

**Third Person!**

**_"The fuck is that?"_** Hidan demanded, walking closer to the little black contraption the girl had pulled out of her pocket. He got closer to it and jumped when a loud ringing sounded. The girl who set the black thing on the ground laughed at his reaction.

Kisame's golden orbs widened when someone called hello from the black thing.

"_Hello sweetie!_" The voice exclaimed happily, it was clearly female.

**_"Holy shit it talks!" _**Kisame gawked.

"Hey, Kat." The girl named Alice said in response. "When are you getting here?"

"_I'm actually walking to the door now. My mom just dropped me off. The creepy old guy a few doors down just whistled at me._"

"HI KATHRYN!" The really tall, black haired boy called

"_Hey there Bretty!_" Kathryn replied

"I swear that old man's a pedo." Alice laughed. "You've got the key or do you need me to let you in?" She asked, staring at the black thing.

**_"Who is she talking to, un?"_** Deidara wondered from beside Sasori.

**_"I think that black thing is a method the people here use to communicate."_ **Pein guessed. He looked around when the shorter, more muscular boy named Louis stood. He walked over to a window and peeked out. He cracked a questionable smile and then returned to his seat.

"_I'm breaking in._" Kathryn's voice announced from the phone. "Honey I'm home!" Her voice called through the house. "Where you bitches at?"

"Lu's room." Alice told her. The door quickly opened and a very skinny, beautiful blond walked inside. She closed the door again at Louis's command and hugged Alice after closing her own contraption and stuffing it in the front of her shirt.

Alice replaced her phone into her pocket just in time for Kathryn to notice the new addition to the condo. "OMG KITTIES!" She snatched up the closest one which happened to be the blond that was first attacked by Brett. "He's so precious!"

"Kathryn, don't frighten the animals." Alice sighed and watched her friend sit on the floor beside her. "I just found them in a box outside the condo."

"I bet you're thrilled." She stated sarcastically, giving Alice a smirk.

"Hn." That was Alice's only response.

**_"Hey, she used your word Itachi. Do you know this chick?"_**Hidan stated. **_"That makes two people in the entire world."_ **Itachi merely shook his head in response, staring at the brunette sitting beside him.

"So what are you going to do with them?" Kathryn wondered.

"We decided to keep them, so now we just have to name them. I think I should get first dibs." Alice told her.

**_"What, now they're going to name us?"_**Kakuzu frowned. **_"We were already taken in by a kid more hyperactive than Tobi."_**

Sasori sighed. **_"It can only be expected, seeing as they think we're their pets now."_**

**_ "You've got to be kidding me, un."_** Deidara groaned.

"We are not naming the cats after anime characters, Alice." Kathryn sighed.

Brett gasped. "Why not?" He bounced on the bed in agitation. "I already had perfect names for them! Doesn't he remind you of Zetsu from the Akatsuki?" He held up a kitten was half white and half black. The Akatsuki kittens all exchanged horrified looks.

"Oh my Jashin he does." Alice agreed, ignoring the fact that Hidan gave a little kitten gasp at her words. "Oh god we have to name him that!"

"See! Alice understands!" Brett pointed out. He scurried over to Alice and they began loving over the black and white kitten that looked terrified.

Kathryn looked at Louis. "What's going on here?"

"Alice and Brett are both going through a Naruto phase right now. I can't complain since they shut up about Bleach now." Louis rolled his eyes. "But if I hear one more thing about how sexy Itachi Uchiha is I'm going to break something."

Itachi froze instantly.

"Well he is." Alice pointed out. "He's the best character. You know you drooled when you first saw him. I did then, and every time after that."

**_"Wait a second…" _**Kisame stated. **_"Zetsu, do you know these people? Did they just say the Akatsuki or am I insane? Itachi I thought you said you didn't know her?"_**

**_"I did. I have no idea who she is."_** Itachi appeared as if he was about to faint.

Zetsu shook his head when Brett released him._"No. _**I don't associate myself with freaks.**_ I've never met these people before, _**thankfully.**_"_

"No babe, we're naming them normal cat names. Get over your Akatsuki obsession for ten minutes." Louis sighed. "Alice almost ripped our heads off for naming our last cat Pussy."

"But he was!" Brett pouted. "I don't know why you didn't like it."

Alice frowned. "Because I had to be around you while you were chasing the cat around the neighborhood yelling 'I want my Pussy back!' It was more disturbing than I thought possible." Kathryn giggled.

"Well I think we should name the cats and if we run out of good names, we'll let Brett and Alice name them after the characters." Kathryn held up the blond kitten. "I say this one is first."

"I think he's a Deidara!" Brett whispered to Alice. Alice snickered and nodded in agreement, both of them oblivious to the shocked stares they were receiving from the cats.

"Blondie." Louis suggested. "You don't see very many blond cats out there."

Kathryn nodded. "That's true." She looked at Alice. "I'd name him after Deidara too since he's my favorite character, but I'm not obsessed like you two. I don't want to torture the poor thing."

**_"Trust me girl, it wouldn't be torture, un."_**Deidara pouted as he ignored the snickering and teasing from all the other cats as he walked away from Kathryn.

**_"I like your new name, Brat."_** Sasori chuckled**. _"Maybe I'll call you that from now on."_**

**_"Don't, un!" _**Deidara hissed, glaring at Sasori.

"Hey, no fighting." Louis scolded, pulling gently on Deidara's tail.

**_"Yeah Blondie-Senpai!"_** Tobi copied. He was rewarded with a kitty death glare from Deidara and a chorus of kitten laughter.

Louis picked up Hidan. "What about this little guy?" He looked up at Brett and Alice. "No references from the two of you please."

**_"Little guy?" _**Hidan exclaimed**. _"I'll sacrifice the little shit to Jashin-sama!"_**

_**"Calm down, Hidan."** _Kakuzu soothed. **_"Not much can be worse than Blondie."_** Deidara hissed angrily at him, causing Kakuzu to chuckle.

**_"Stop causing a scene. The girl is watching us." _**Pein barked, issuing instant silence and order from the members. He noticed Alice had been watching them curiously.

"How about we name him Shiny because of his silver fur?" Kathryn wondered.

**_"I stand corrected."_** Kakuzu snorted at the mention of the cat name. Deidara, Tobi, and Kisame erupted with kitten laughter at Kakuzu's comment. Hidan growled menacingly; for a kitten that is.

"Shiny it is." Louis chuckled, putting Hidan down when he started growling a kitten growl. He pointed at Itachi. "Alice get that one, it's his turn."

Alice picked up Itachi gently and placed him in her lap again. Brett grinned. "Let's name him Blackie." Itachi gave him an Uchiha-death glare while Kisame held back a laugh.

"We can't name him Blackie." Louis sighed. "The neighbors would think we were talking to them if we had to call for him."

"Louis!" Alice snapped, holding back a laugh. "That is not appropriate." She stroked Itachi's head. "How about we just name him Kuro? It means black in Japanese."

"Good idea." Brett said. He grabbed Sasori and showed him off. "What about this one?"

**_"I'll murder him in his sleep if he names me something ridiculous."_** Sasori smirked. **_"Though I think anything is better than Shiny."_**

**_"Don't jinx yourself, Danna."_** Deidara stated, grinning up at Sasori from his spot.

"Well, he's got red fur." Louis pointed out. "And he's got dark rings on his limbs and a weird spot where his heart should be." He crossed his arms and frowned in thought for a moment before giving up. "I've got nothing."

"I like the name Loofa." Kathryn concluded randomly.

"Why?" Alice asked holding back a laugh.

She pointed towards the bathroom. "There's a loofa sponge on the door." Sure enough there was a loofa sponge hanging from the bathroom door handle.

"Loofa it is then." Louis said with a confused expression. "Poor cat." He grabbed Kakuzu. "What about this dude?"

**_"What in Jashin's name is a fucking loofa?"_** Hidan demanded as Sasori escaped Brett's clutches. Sasori merely shrugged.

"He looks like a George to me." Brett said, giving Kakuzu a very serious look down.

Alice sighed. "Where are all these weird names coming from? You and Kathryn should start a club, Bee." She stroked Itachi who was still in her lap. "By the way, I like Kakuzu for him." She smiled when Louis frowned at her.

**_"So now they know my name too?"_** Kakuzu demanded**. _"Who are these people?"_**

**_"I'm not sure, but maybe if we study them, we can get our answers."_** Pein announced. **_"It's obvious these people know about us. But how? How much do they know?"_** He frowned.

_"**Maybe we **_**are_ somewhere near home."_** Konan suggested. **_"Or maybe it's just a coincidence."_**

"No Alice." Kathryn scolded. "Bad anime obsession!" She swatted Alice's head gently. "I think George is a fine name."

"I guess you're George now big guy." Louis stated patting Kakuzu's head.

"He totally has to be Ginger!" Brett shouted jabbing a finger in Pein's direction before grabbing him.

Alice frowned when all of the cats suddenly went stiff after Brett picked up the orange kitten. "You think he's the leader?" She raised her eyebrows. "All of the cats are acting really weird. They seemed to be fighting earlier and he hissed at them and they instantly stopped."

"Shut up dog-lover." Brett ordered. "You don't understand kitties." He snuggled against Pein who was struggling to keep an emotionless façade now that he was being loved.

"Maybe we should call him Pein, because he certainly looks like he's in it." Alice laughed. "Be easy with the cats Brett or they'll kill you."

_"**Smart girl.**" _Zetsu's black half said.

"Sorry kitty." Brett apologized. "I call dibs on Ginger." Kathryn and Louis nodded their agreement and Pein was renamed as Ginger. He returned to his seat beside Konan, none too happy about his new name.

"Big blue kitty!" Alice said planting a gentle kiss on Kisame's head who was sitting between her and Kathryn.

"Bruce!" Kathryn exclaimed. "You know, like the shark from Finding Nemo."

**_"Oh these people are hilarious."_** Kisame growled, ignoring Hidan's snickers.

**_"It fits you nicely, Kisame."_** Itachi added from his spot on Alice's lap.

**_"You, just enjoy your spot on her lap and be quiet."_** Kisame snapped.

Itachi looked away from him. **_"Hn."_**

Alice smirked. "Good call."

"Or Shark-bait." Brett laughed.

"He isn't a clown fish, he's a shark!" Alice frowned. "He's a very adorable shark."

"Kisame!" Brett sang in a whisper. Alice grinned and nodded.

"You are now Bruce." Kathryn announced, patting Kisame's head. She looked at Konan beside Pein. "Now her, then we'll have two more right?"

"Wow, you can count." Alice said sarcastically. "You're a genius."

"Shut up Alice. I don't appreciate your sarcasm." Kathryn pouted. She grabbed Konan gently and pet her. "She's really pretty."

"I think Cutie is a perfect name." Louis pointed out. "She's the only girl kitten and she's pretty." He scratched under her chin.

"Welcome to the crew, Cutie." Kathryn said sweetly when she replaced Konan beside Pein. "I'll put you back next to your boyfriend." Everyone missed Konan's slight kitten blush.

"I still think he should be Zetsu." Brett said poking Zetsu. "I mean, it's perfect. The only other name is Oreo and he's not even colored right for that."

"Fine, we can name _one_ of them after your crazy obsession." Louis sighed.

"Whatever Lulu, you like it too." Alice frowned. "You're just not as into it as me and Brett are. You were totally just as obsessed with Bleach as I was when you were in your Soul Reaper phase." She crossed her arms. "It just so happens that I consider the characters from Bleach to be more dog compatable than Naruto characters, except Kakashi and Kiba."

"Which is one reason why she likes Bleach better." Brett pointed out. He smiled. "But Zetsu is him. Or we can name him Kevin. Either way, I win."

"I say Kevin." Kathryn pointed out. "People always use the name Kevin for ignorant shit." She grinned. "Poor Kevin."

"Alright big guy, you're Kevin." Louis stated. Zetsu, Kisame, and Kakuzu were the largest of the kittens. Sasori, Konan, and Deidara were the smallest.

_"**Damn, we were so close.** We almost had a normal name."_ Zetsu said as Louis confirmed his new name.

**_"It's better than Shiny."_** Hidan said with a shudder. The others laughed.

"And now this guy!" Brett said picking up Tobi. "I'm thinking Pumpkin."

"I like Pumpkin." Louis agreed.

**_"Tobi likes Pumpkin too!"_**Tobi cheered. He seemed utterly content when Brett stood up with him and danced about the room.

**_"What hell have we just gotten ourselves into?"_** Kisame asked in horror.


	3. Chapter 3

_So here's the third chapter._

_I own just about everything in the world but alas, the Naruto characters are not mine. Neither are poptarts, which I'm actually a little upset about..._

_Oh well. :D  
_

* * *

Alice yawned and sat up in her bed. She looked over and saw Kathryn sleeping oddly like usual. Kathryn was capable of lying in six different directions and still sleep like a log. Alice rolled her eyes with a slight smile at her best friend before looking around the room.

She had taken all the kittens to sleep in her room with her and Kathryn all weekend because Brett and Louis like to spend the night doing explicit things together and she was certain the kittens didn't need to see that. She did a head count, noting the cats slept in the same spots.

Kuro was curled in a ball on her egg chair in the corner of the room; his black fur blending in with the black fabric. Bruce was sprawled out on the computer chair; she had to smile at that. Pumpkin was on Kathryn's pillow

Ginger and Cutie were both sleeping on the edge of the bed on her side since Kathryn's head was taking up the other half. Blondie and Loofa were both sleeping on the blanket Kathryn threw off the bed last night in her attempt to get comfortable.

Shiny was lying on a pile of clothes while Kevin slept in an open dresser drawer. She looked down and noticed that George was lying on her lap. She smiled at him and gently maneuvered out from beneath him without waking him before slipping into the bathroom to get ready for the day.

After she did her thing she came out, refreshed and awake to see Kathryn now laying horizontally across the bed, much to George's terror. He was staring at her, as if searching for a vital to hit and kill her.

She smiled and stroked George's head. "Morning George." She noticed his eyes narrow when she said his new name. "Sorry kitty, I don't like your name either but I'll get scolded if I call you what I think you should be called."

_**"Somehow I think that may be for the best."**_ Kakuzu sighed. He hopped off the bed when she grabbed a pillow. She woke up Pein and Konan to put them on the blanket with Sasori and Deidara. She then picked up Tobi and did the same with him before dragging the blanket away from the bed.

They watched her return to the bed, curious to how she planned on waking Kathryn today. She went to Kathryn's side and lifted the pillow over her head before bringing it down in one powerful swing on Kathryn's stomach. Kathryn woke up with a start and attempted to tackle Alice who easily dodged and allowed Kathryn to plow into the wall.

"Damn it Alice." Kathryn pouted from her spot on the floor. "You're so mean." She jumped with a yelp when the door was kicked open and Louis rushed in with a cleaver in his hand, ready to attack.

"What happened?" He demanded, looking around the room viciously.

_**"Good God! He's got a knife!"**_ Hidan gasped, jumping to his feet on the pile of clothes.

"Louis, put the knife away, everything is okay Kathryn just ran into the wall." Alice laughed, her hands raised calmingly towards Louis.

"How did you get that so fast?" Kathryn demanded, gesturing at the cleaver.

"He keeps it under his pillow when he sleeps." Brett told her. "We have a gun under our bed too."

Kathryn stared at him for a moment. "Why?"

"It's Louis." Alice said simply with a shrug as if it was expected. "Now go wake up." She patted Kathryn's head. "I'm going to get the mail from yesterday and then I'll get something for breakfast. Do we still have the cat food Bee?" She asked as she searched for her shoes. "I've just been giving them leftover turkey, I didn't bother to look."

"Yes ma'am!" Brett chirped from outside Alice's room. Louis scratched the side of his head with the blade of the cleaver before shrugging and heading back to his room.

Kathryn dug around for her stuff before scampering to the bathroom to do her morning duties. Alice meanwhile had discovered her shoes and was then putting them on.

"Okay, do one of you kitties want to go with me?" She asked. "You can get some fresh air while we're out there."

_**"Itachi, go with her."**_ Pein ordered. _**"See if you can discern our location from what's around the house."**_

_** "It seems she has a bit of a crush on you anyways."**_ Sasori added with a smirk.

_**"Yes Leader-sama."**_Itachi obeyed, ignoring the puppet. He meowed at Alice and she looked at him.

"You want to go kitty?" She raised her eyebrow when he nodded. "Okay…" She shrugged after a second but picked him up and placed him on her shoulder. She walked out of her room, shutting the door behind her to keep the others in and headed for the sitting room.

She walked out of the same door as yesterday and tugged her jacket on, pulling her hood up to keep the kitten safe from the cold. "Sorry if it's too cold out here for you, Kuro. I just assumed one of you wanted to go."

Itachi was too busy gawking at his surroundings to pay much attention to her apology. He had never seen the strange wheeled things or most of the buildings surrounding the little condos.

Alice walked to the black mailbox at the bottom of the steps and retrieved the mail. She skimmed through it as she walked back up the stairs, separating it into stacks for Brett, Louis and herself.

She reopened the front door and headed to the kitchen, keeping Itachi on her shoulder. She slipped off her jacket and threw it on the couch with the mail as she walked by.

"What should we have for breakfast?" She asked herself as she threw open the cabinet. "It looks like we have enough Pop-Tarts for all of us. Brett will eat one pack, Kathryn will eat two and an half, I'll eat the other half, and Louis will eat another entire box." She pulled the packs out as she went.

She threw them on the kitchen table before going to a closet. "Kitty food…" She sighed and retrieved eleven bowls. "I'm assuming you guys would be alright with eating out of shared bowls, but I'm not risking someone dying." She grabbed a bag of cat food and salvaged a bag of ham for the cats. "You get treats because I'm spoiling you since I don't have dogs to love."

She stalked back to her bedroom and pushed the door open, shooing the cats away from the door. She noticed Kathryn was fondling over Blondie and Brett was giving Cutie love. Louis was currently on her computer with George sitting beside the screen watching him.

"We have Pop-Tarts for breakfast and I'm spoiling the cats because I love them more than you." Alice announced as she placed ten different bowls on the ground and filled them up with cat food before separating the ham fairly between each one. She took the eleventh, giant bowl and filled it with water from the bathroom sink. "Water is here kitties, be fair and no fighting or I'm going to punt you."

"Punt?" Brett demanded, horrified, allowing Konan and Pein to go and inspect their meal.

"I'm kidding." Alice laughed. "I'd never do that. But I do enjoy death threats." She kissed the top of Louis head and he grunted at her from the computer. "George, you have food." She picked him up and placed him by a bowl.

_"__**What the fuck is this shit?"**_Hidan growled into his bowl. _**"I've never seen anything like this before."**_ He ate some of the ham. _**"It's not too bad though."**_

_ "__**The dry stuff is pretty gross, but it's not unbearable."**_ Deidara added.

"Loofa, are you going to eat?" Kathryn wondered, poking the crimson kitty when he remained motionless. Louis snorted at the name.

"I still can't get over the name Loofa." Louis chuckled. "That was a very commendable suggestion, Kathryn."

"Shucks." She said hugging herself. "Thanks Lulu." She glomped Brett and lay on top of him on the floor. "This place is so much more fun than my house." She pouted.

"Stay here then." Alice told her. "I do."

"Well your parents don't care what you do, mine do." Kathryn pointed out, still attacking Brett. "Your parents let you live with a bisexual, registered psycho and a homosexual cutie-pie."

"I'm pretty sure cutie-pie isn't a real title." Alice deadpanned. She removed Itachi from her shoulder and set him down on the ground beside a vacant bowl.

_**"What did you find out, Itachi?"**_Pein asked.

Itachi shook his furry head. _**"I don't have the slightest clue where we're at. Nothing is remotely familiar and there are strange wheeled things rolling around everywhere. I don't think we're even close to being anywhere near home. I think we're in an entirely different world like Sasori said when we first arrived."**_

_**"Damn."**_Pein said. He shook his head. _**"Well alright, I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens. Let's just be thankful we have food and a place to stay."**_

_** "Jashin-sama is not going to be happy about this. I think he'll understand, given the situation but damn…"**_Hidan muttered as he inhaled his food.

"I guess Shiny was starving." Kathryn assumed, watching Hidan devour his meal. "Speaking of which, I'm hungry. What did you make for breakfast?" She looked at Alice over her shoulder.

Alice had her arms wrapped around Louis's neck and her chin on the top of his head as he scanned the internet from her computer. She looked back at Kathryn. "There are Pop-Tarts for you guys on the table." She returned to watching Louis's surfing. "Louis gets his own box, you get two and a half like usual, I'm sharing your spare half and Bee gets his own pack."

"No full out breakfast?" Kathryn pouted.

Brett looked up from his spot on the floor. "Alice doesn't go all out on breakfast anymore."

"I fear I've gone lazy." Alice admitted, straightening up from resting on Louis. "I can only make so much veggie food." She smiled at Brett and Kathryn. Brett refused to eat anything that came from an animal. Kathryn was a bit more reasonable but she still didn't eat meat.

_**"What is veggie food?"**_ Tobi wondered.

_**"I pretty sure she means food made from vegetables."**_Konan stated.

Kakuzu looked towards Zetsu. _**"Better watch out, Zetsu."**_

"Yeah, I don't think I can eat anymore of those vegetarian meals." Louis shuddered. "I enjoy meat too much." He paused when Alice, Kathryn, and Brett gave him smirks. "You can take that however you want to."

"Hey Alice, what happened to all of your posters?" Kathryn wondered, looking around the room. "I could have sworn you had a shitload of Bleach and Naruto posters everywhere. And what happened to your Akatsuki blanket? I don't know how I missed their absence…"

"Louis made me put them away." Alice admitted sadly. "He's being a butthead."

"She's being punished." Louis clarified. "She clearly admitted that she would rather rape the Uchiha than me." He crossed his arms. "In my house, that is not acceptable."

"I didn't say you, only because with you, it wouldn't be rape." Alice muttered. "I'm sure a fictional character would not be okay with me demanding sexual activities out of the blue. _Also_, I could get some from you any time I wanted. It would be a very rare occasion to actually meet someone who doesn't exist."

"Alice, I think the black kitty is dying." Kathryn stated with shocked eyes, pointing directly at Itachi who was having a heart attack.

"Kitty!" Brett yelped, throwing Kathryn off him and rushing over to Itachi. "Don't die Kuro!" He hugged the silky black kitten.

_"__**Hey, Itachi, looks like you're gonna get some action."**_ Hidan laughed. He, Kisame, Deidara, and Kakuzu were snorting with laughter while Sasori merely smirked. Pein, Konan, and Zetsu were impassive. Innocent little Tobi had no idea what was going on.

"Okay, little Kuro is okay now." Brett said, putting Itachi down and heaving a sigh of relief. "That was scary."

"Brett, did you take your pills?" Alice wondered.

"Nope." Brett proclaimed almost proudly. "I'm gonna take them after I eat." He jumped to his feet. "Which, I'm going to go do right now…" He skipped to the door and slipped outside Alice's room.

"Well my mom just texted me. I've got a college visit to go to in a few hours so she's picking me up in like fifteen minutes." Kathryn announced, looking at her phone. "I guess I'm going to eat and run." She pouted. "I dun wanna leave Alice."

Louis stood and stretched his back cracking as he lifted his muscular arms over his head. "You're going to be able to stay with Alice every now and then after we leave right?" He looked at Kathryn. "Else she'll be here all by herself for however long we're gone."

"Yeah, I already talked to my mom. She said have a nice trip by the way." Kathryn confirmed. "So are you two gonna get married while you're up in Canada?"

"We were thinking about it." Louis told her. "But Ohio is ridiculous and doesn't allow stuff like that." He frowned. "We'll probably cheat the system and do it anyways. Maybe we'll just move to Canada and solve the whole issue."

"What about your therapist?" Kathryn wondered. Louis had a lot of psychological and mental issues and he has had his own specialist since he was ten. He had a class everyday to make sure he didn't snap.

"I had an extra class yesterday. But he's already scheduled me classes to go to with a different specialist. Apparently this guy has been interested in me for a while and was really eager to work with me while we're up there."

"That sounds kinda creepy." Kathryn commented. "Just don't put your _therapist_ into _therapy_ like you did the last fill-in." She grinned at Louis when he grinned evilly.

"No promises." Louis laughed and walked to the door. He paused and picked up George. "Hey George, you want to come out to the kitchen with me?"

"That's not fair, Lu." Alice sighed. "You can't take just him out there while the rest of the cats have to stay in here."

"They stay until Brett sets up their bathroom." Louis stated. "And I won't bring just him. I'll take Shiny for Brett and you two can bring a kitten with you." He pointed at Itachi. "You can't bring Kuro though, he went outside with you."

"I'll take Blondie and you can bring a kitty." Kathryn stated, picking up Deidara. Alice rolled her eyes and grabbed the closest cat to her which happened to be Kisame. "Yippy for Bruce!" Kathryn smiled when Alice joined her at the door.

Itachi looked around at Pein when they humans left with some of the members. _**"What are we going to do?"**_

_** "Are they all leaving?"**_Konan asked.

Pein shook his head. _**"I think it's just the two men leaving. The girl is staying with us. The tall girl is only here temporarily. In response to your question Itachi, as of right now, we just need to keep the trust of the humans long enough to figure out a way to reverse this and go home."**_He said, turning his head to Itachi. _**"We can't harm anyone in order to keep our true selves hidden. I don't think she'll appreciate ten S-class criminals in her house."**_

"_**Hn."**_Itachi replied.

_**"Where did Deidara-Senpai go?"**_Tobi questioned, searching the room for the blond.

Hidan, Kakuzu, and Deidara were all placed on the kitchen table as Kathryn, Brett, and Louis attacked the breakfast food. Alice set Kisame down calmly after getting a bottle of water from the fridge.

She stole one of the Pop-Tarts from Kathryn's open pack and began nibbling on it while watching the cats roam around the table, investigating the parts of the room they could see.

_**"I think the crazy human likes you, Kakuzu, un."**_ Deidara said with a laugh.

_**"Shut up, Blondie."**_Kakuzu retorted monotonously. _**"The blond girl likes **_**you**_**."**_

"Brett, don't feed the kittens people food." Louis scolded as Brett fed Hidan a small bite of his chocolate pop-tart.

_**"What the shit!"**_Hidan shouted angrily. _**"They get to eat good shit like this while we're fed flavored rocks?"**_He meowed at Brett for more.

"But Shiny is such a good kitty." Brett pouted at Hidan. "He likes it. See?"

Louis stared at Brett for a minute. "Don't make pouting faces like that."

"Why?" Brett asked.

"It makes me want to attack you." Louis said with a smirk, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"No explicit activities in the kitchen." Alice snapped, putting down her pop-tart. "Bee, you can't feed the cat people food because it might get sick. I can't believe we named that cat Shiny. It's so unmanly. I think we should have named him Hidan."

"That's enough of your crazy obsessions." Louis stated, turning to Alice. "If we named him Hidan, we'd have to rename George to Kakuzu because I can't have only one of the most awesome Akatsuki team, I need both teammates." He crossed his arms. "We aren't naming them after the characters."

"But they're your favorites." Alice pointed out. "It would be a very nice reason to do so. Shiny is just so… lame."

_**"This guy knows his people."**_ Hidan said with a kitty smirk. _**"I like him."**_

"I like Kakuzu and Hidan too." Brett agreed with a mischievous grin.

Alice frowned. "You only like reading about them fucking each other you little pervert."

Hidan and Kakuzu both froze and turned to face each other. They both had small seizures at what she said. Kathryn however snorted with laughter.

_**"There goes one of Kakuzu's hearts."**_Kisame laughed.

"You do too." Brett challenged. "Admit it."

"It's only when you bombard me with links and demands." Alice sighed. "I'll admit I do enjoy yaoi, but Kakuzu and Hidan aren't exactly my favorite. I love them as characters, but not as lovers, though I wouldn't put them with anyone else."

"So you love them together." Kathryn concluded. "Personally I like Sasori and Deidara."

_**"So is Sasori your 'master' when you're fucking too?"**_ Hidan asked, laughing at Deidara who looked as though he was going to faint.

Louis shrugged. "I like it all. I don't care who is with whom as long as it's happening." He crossed his arms. "I do admit that the Sasuke and Itachi combo is not cool, though." He shook his head. "Incest is not okay."

The four cats shuddered.

"Well guys, my mom is here." Kathryn pouted. "I'll see you when you guys get back."

"What no goodbye sex?" Louis asked as Kathryn stood up and hugged Brett. Alice snorted into her water bottle. Kathryn punched him in the stomach before hugging him.

She smiled. "Bye Lulu, bye Brett, have fun and be careful." She hugged Alice. "Bye Alice, I'll come over as soon as I'm allowed." She waved again before leaving the kitchen and then the house.

"Strange woman." Louis sighed as he sat back down.

Alice rolled her eyes and slipped Kisame a bite of her pop-tart. He licked her fingers, making sure to get the entire chocolaty residue from the digit. She smiled at him when he searched for more.

_**"That was really good. Why can't we eat that?" **_Kisame wondered. Alice waved over Kakuzu and Deidara when Louis got up to get a drink. Brett noticed her actions and grinned at her from over the table.

"So, you are going to eat right when we leave aren't you?" Brett asked, looking at Alice with concern. "I don't want you eating only one meal a day like you usually do."

"That's a normal eating pattern for me, Bee." Alice told him. "I never get hungry. I'll make sure I eat every time I feed the cats. Twice a day is my limit."

"Deal." Brett nodded. "And please go outside at least once a day too."

Louis sat down at the table again. "Alice is the only person I know who is content with sitting inside all day, every day."

_**"That's insane. Are you sure this girl isn't the crazy one?"**_ Hidan stated. The others merely shrugged in response. They weren't sure either.

Alice shrugged. "I like the indoors. I like outside too, especially in this weather, but I just prefer the indoors."

"You're nuts." Louis shook his head.

Alice frowned. "You have no room to talk." He chuckled at that. "So are you two all packed up?" She watched George, Blondie, Shiny, and Bruce sit in a little circle and meow at each other as if talking.

"Yep." Brett verified. "I checked and double checked everything yesterday." He kissed Louis's cheek when he stood up to throw his wrapper away. "The only thing we have to worry about is you and Louis if he has to go through any security."

"If they get anywhere near my dick or ass I'm fighting them." Louis announced.

_**"Are they gay?" **_Hidan demanded. _**"That's so fucking weird."**_

_**"The other girl said that they were bisexual and homosexual." **_Kakuzu confirmed. _**"I think the shorter one with blond and black hair is the one who likes both genders. The tall skinny one is definitely gay."**_

_**"Thank god the girl took us into her room with her." **_Kisame sighed. He shuddered when he thought of what might have happened if she hadn't.

Brett sighed at Louis. "What car are we going to take up there?"

"Yours." Louis told him. "It's faster and I know Alice likes driving my Hummer."

Brett laughed. "Only because it compensates for her short height and it makes her feel lethal. She's been hanging out with you too much." He rumpled Alice's long brown hair.

Alice smiled dramatically. "Ah, the Hummer makes me feel powerful." She smiled when Louis laughed at her. "And, the Corvette scares me. I have extreme road rage and I can't kill anyone with that as easily as I can with the Hummer."

"What time do we have to head out, babe?" Louis wondered.

"We actually should pack the car now and then we should get going. I told my mom we would be there before noon tomorrow." Brett told him. He looked at Alice. "Are you sure you don't want to go?"

"I'm positive." Alice sighed. "I have the cats to take care of now, not to mention I hate long car rides and I'm afraid of airport security so I wouldn't fly there. I don't want to have anything to do with Trent. I know he's up there visiting his parents too."

"Oh yeah." Louis nodded. "I forgot he was up there. I guess it would be better for you to stay here." Alice scoffed and began massaging Kisame who was sitting closest to her.

_**"What is she… oh, that feels pretty good."**_ Kisame began. He had felt Alice's fingers tickling his back before she started rubbing his fur gently. Hidan, Kakuzu, and Deidara all gave him strange looks as he began purring.

"Alright then, let's go load the car." Brett sighed. He waited for Louis at the door before heading upstairs to their room to get their bags.

Alice lifted Deidara. "Alright kitties, let's put you back with your friends." She set him on her shoulder. "Make sure you hold on tight. I promise I won't let you fall but you've got to help out too." She picked up Hidan and placed him on her other shoulder before grabbing both Kisame and Kakuzu to carry in her arms.

She carried them up the stairs easily and kicked her door open even though it was shut securely. She made sure she caused none of the cats inside her room an injury before setting Kisame and Kakuzu down before Hidan and Deidara.

"Okay, two kitties to go outside with me…" She raised her eyebrows. "Loofa, you can come and who else?" The other cats just watched her, wondering if she would designate anyone at random like she usually did.

She shrugged. "Okay, three of you get to come." She picked up Itachi and set him on her shoulder before grabbing Konan. "Kuro, Cutie, and Loofa." She carried them out of her room before pulling on her jacket again. She put Konan inside one of the inside pockets to keep her warm. "This is so you'll be warm, Cutie. I don't want you to freeze." She put her hood up to cover Itachi and then tucked Sasori safely in her arms.


	4. Chapter 4

_This chapter was kind of a B to write._

_By the way, the name Loofa for Sasori was actually suggested by the person who Kathryn is modeled after.:]_

_And yes, the person who Louis is modeled after does indeed act like that. So does Brett's human form._

_I find myself the proud owner of a case of water bottles, but not Naruto...  
_

_Anyways, enjoy.  
_

* * *

**FIRST PERSON!**

I left the house and walked outside to see Louis throwing the last of their bags into the back seat of Brett's shiny blue Corvette. He looked up when I came closer and shut the door to the car. Sensing danger I quickly handed Brett Cutie and Loofa just before Louis pulled me into a back breaking hug.

"Poor Kuro, he's probably having a heart attack." I muttered into Louis's chest as he broke my bones. "Bye Lulu, I'll see you when you get back."

"We'll call you when we get there, love." Louis told me. He took Cutie and Loofa from Brett before he glomped me. I made sure Kuro was still alive before returning his warm embrace. The poor cat was clutching onto me for dear life.

"Bye Bee." I said to him. He squeezed me again.

He kissed my cheek. "Bye my dear." He kissed Kuro's head, much to the cat's discomfort. "I'll call you every day."

"I know you will." I said boredly. "Relax Brett, I'll be fine. I promise."

Louis handed me back the cats before kissing me. "I don't want any guys over. Girls are fine. That's my territory though, no guys. No fucking anyone either. Keep it in your pants."

"Louis, get out of here." I sighed. "You sound like at dog."

"I'll pee on the house if it gets my point across." Louis continued as serious as a heart attack. I laughed at his tone and nodded.

"Alright no guys just Kathryn." I waved goodbye to them with my free hand that wasn't holding Loofa. I watched them get in the car and drive away before sighing in slight relief and heading back inside.

I set Loofa down on the couch downstairs with Cutie and Kuro before taking off my jacket. "Stay here kitties; I'm going to let your friends out now that Brett and Louis are gone. Brett just finished putting liter boxes in the bathrooms, kitchen, and laundry room so you're all good to roam around the house."

I hurried up the stairs as fast as my slight Climacophobia would let me before opening my bedroom door. "Alright kitties, you're free, go scour the house, break things, run as fast as your kitty legs can carry you!" I paused. "No, don't break things because then I'll drown you in the sink. Jokingly of course…"

I watched the cats trail out of my room cautiously and look around as if searching for something before looking back at me when I watched them.

"The other kitties are downstairs on the couch. You guy should probably start down there, it's where you'll be most of the time." I left my door open just in case they liked to use my bathroom liter box and led the train of cats down stairs to the living room.

Kuro, Loofa, and Cutie were exactly where I left them. I hadn't expected them to stay put like that. I assumed they would have wandered around. I shrugged, waving it off and went through the downstairs, opening at least one window in every room. I then returned to the living room and threw myself on the unoccupied couch.

"Ah, cold air!" I sighed, enjoying the cold air that whizzed through the windows. "Be good kitties, if you need to go to the bathroom, do it in the kitchen or one of the bathrooms. The laundry room works too but I think it's closed."

I heard hissing after a long while of silence and looked up from the couch to see some of the kittens were backing Pumpkin into one of the corners of the room. I frowned. "Hey, no fighting." I picked up Pumpkin and place him safely on my stomach as I returned to my lounging position on the couch.

I sniffed Pumpkin when something weird caught my attention. He stunk, really bad. "Dang Pumpkin, you stink." I placed him on the couch as I sat up. "I'm sure you all need a bath. You were strays before." I raised my eyebrows. "So will you cooperate or am I going to have to resort to violence?"

The cats all looked at me like I was insane. "Well then come up stairs with me. You'll feel better once you're all nice and clean."

I stood, taking Pumpkin with me and went towards the stairs, expecting only one or two of the kittens to follow me out of curiosity, not all nine of them. I stared at them in confusion for a minute before shaking my head and heading up the stairs with mine ten feline friends.

"You cats sure are strange." I told them as we made it to my room. "Into the bathroom, kitties!" I shut my bedroom door before ushering them into the bathroom and then shutting that door. "Okay, into the tub with all of you."

I checked my towel supply, I had more than enough. Brett and Louis just chucked all the towels in my bathroom and walked naked around the house to get one. I shook my head in remembrance. I put all the cats into the tub before turning on the warm water.

The cats behaved a lot better than I expected. Cats are supposed to hate water and yet these cats seemed to think water was about as interesting as a bag full of rice. I shrugged and waited for the now warm water to reach their furry little paws.

My eyes widened as loud pops filled the bathroom and smoke erupted from the bathtub. "Oh my Jashin, how dirty were you guys?" I asked, waving away the smoke. I felt myself die and return to life as I took in the scene before me.

Ten _very _familiar, _very __**naked**_ people were standing in my bathtub staring at me.

My first thought pushed me into action. I snatched the robe I never used from the pile of towels and wrapped it around what was once Cutie before dragging her out of the bathroom and into the safety of my room away from the nine other occupants who happened to be male._ Naked_ males. _Attractive _naked males.

"Wow, she's fast." I heard a deep amused voice say.

I closed my eyes and placed my back against the door. "There are now ten naked people in house. All of which I know…" I shook my head. "I've gone insane. Three years living with Louis and I've finally snapped. I'm seeing fictional characters."

"Thank you." A calm voice said from a few feet away. I opened my eyes to see Konan rewrapping the robe around her. "For the robe…"

"Don't mention it." I told her. "The first thing that popped into my head was that you were the only girl and I had to help you out." I laughed without humor. "Please tell me you have an explanation for all of this. Please tell me I'm not going crazy."

"You're not crazy." Konan said with a small smile. "We can explain this, but we need Pein-sama." She gestured to the bathroom behind me.

"Yeah, let's get him out here." I agreed. I opened the door and stuck only my arm in, waving my hand around randomly. "You, there are towels all over the place in there, cover up your manhood and then get out here. If you aren't decent when you emerge from the naked depths that is my bathroom, I'll get Louis's cleaver and fix you."

I sat on my computer chair and waited with Konan who took a seat on my bed for the guys to join us. Pein threw open the door and walked out with the others trailing behind him. He looked around at me and crossed his arms. I ignored this and focused on keeping my drool at seeing nine attractive dudes standing half naked in my bedroom.

"We can explain this." Pein said stoically.

I laughed without humor, turning my attention to his pierced face. "Well I certainly hope so because I can't." Then I did laugh with humor. "Brett is going to be so disappointed about losing his cats."

"If we tell you our situation, will you tell us where exactly we are and how you know of us?" Pein wondered.

"Sure, why not?" I asked. I made a mental note not to tell them anything that would affect relationships and the Naruto storyline that had somehow made its way into my bedroom.

"We never actually intended on you finding out our identities, besides the fact that you seem to already know a great deal about us." Pein said as he sat on the bed beside Konan. "We aren't exactly sure how all of this came about either, or how to get back. All I remember is that we were investigating a new potential lair when Tobi pressed a red button in a strange room.

"A bright light erupted around us and we woke up in the back yard belonging to an old man. He put us into a box and set us on your doorstep. The next thing we know, you showed up and took us in." My eyebrow was raised when he finished.

"It's always Tobi's fault." I said with a sigh. "I should have known." I was rewarded from a loud apology from the offender and a round of laughter from the members that actually showed emotion.

"Now it's your turn." Pein told me.

I exhaled loudly. "Well, in _my _world, there is this thing called _Naruto_. It's a manga and anime. An anime is an animated TV show just in case you didn't know. You guys are sexy spawns of some guy's imagination. Congratulations." I paused. _I just called them sexy spawns didn't I? Fuck. _"As for where you are, you're in Ohio which is a state in the country of the United States of America on the continent of North America on the planet Earth."

Pein raised his eyebrows. "How is that even possible?"

I reached inside my desk and pulled out the first box set of the show. "Trust me pal, it's super possible… obviously." They eyed it as if it was Satan.

"So, how much do you know about us?" He asked.

I glanced up at him and sighed. "I can't tell you _everything_ I know, but I can give you a general overview." I told him. He frowned but gestured for me to go on. "I know your whole plan. I know you want the tailed beasts and I know what you want them for. I know Hidan's a nutcase and I know Kakuzu is stingy. I know Sasori and Deidara both have obsessions with art and all that jazz." I crossed my arms. "I can give you more details of my knowledge in private, but I'm pretty sure some things are meant to be kept secret from one another."

"I love how she isn't at all bothered by the fact that we're S-class criminals." Hidan pointed out. "We could have killed you by now and you're even insulting us."

I raised my eyebrows at him. "I'm terrified." Kisame chuckled at my obvious sarcasm. "To be honest, the only thing that has bothered me so far was the fact that you guys probably made a mess of my bathroom and the fact that I now have to feed all of you."

"So the nakedness and criminals part didn't bother you?" Sasori wondered.

I shook my head. "Nope, I'm used to seeing naked guys, they may not all be as good looking as you guys but they have the same set up. I live with two aspiring nudists. The criminal thing hasn't even clicked yet. I think I might still just be surprised you're all here." I smiled to myself. "When it does, watch out."

"Well she's just about as emotional as Itachi." Hidan stated sadly.

"Sorry to disappoint." I apologized. "Anyways, uh, first things first, would you guys like some clothes?"

"Hell yeah we do, un!" Deidara said with relief.

I looked at Konan. "You could probably fit in my clothes." I looked around at the others. "Louis and Brett's clothes might fit you." I sighed when I saw Kakuzu and Kisame. "Except you two of course. Zetsu, do you even wear clothes?" I raised my eyebrows at the plant man.

"**No.** Just a coat or something along those lines would be fine." Zetsu told me. I nodded, expecting that.

"Yeah, Kakuzu, Kisame, I've got clothes that could fit you but it'll take me a minute to find them." I stood. "Louis and Brett's friend Drake, who is about as big as Kisame left a trench coat here for some reason. I'll get that for you Zetsu." I looked at Konan. "Just grab whatever you want to wear, I don't mind." She thanked me quietly.

I walked over to my door and paused. "These clothes are only temporary until I get the chance to go to the mall. If you want clothes, you're going to have to go with me because I hate shopping alone."

"Why do we have to go with you, girl?" Sasori wondered.

I glanced back at him. "First off, call me Alice. It's my name, it's there for a reason, use it." I ignored his eye rolling. "Secondly, I don't know your sizes, and if you make me go alone, I'm getting you all dresses." I turned to Pein. "Yes, even you."

"She's feisty." Kisame chuckled.

I ignored his comment. "Any who, boys come with me so we can get you smaller guys dressed and so Konan can have free run of my room to find what she wants." I opened the door and walked to Brett and Louis's room. "Louis is going to be pissed." I opened their door and allowed my train of criminals to trail in after me.

"Sasori, Itachi, Deidara, Tobi, Hidan, and Pein, you are more than welcome to go through Brett and Louis's clothes." I paused beside Brett's dresser. "I suggest you wear Louis's pants because all Brett wears are skinny jeans and pajama pants and I'm pretty sure none of you will fit into the jeans; the PJ's will work though." I sat on the bed and waited for them to find clothing.

After a few minutes I noticed none of them were grabbing boxers. I sighed internally. "You guys do wear underwear right?" I asked. They all looked at me like I was insane. Kisame, who was sitting next to me, scooted away.

"Well, their underwear is clean. I do the laundry myself so you guys can wear it." I shook my head when Hidan and Deidara made grossed out faces. "Oh get over yourselves. You're in an understandable situation. Wear the boxers."

"Alright bitch, don't get your panties in a bunch." Hidan barked. I raised my eyebrow threateningly and grabbed the cleaver out from under Louis's pillow. I then pulled Itachi by his arm out of my way and threw my weapon at Hidan. It embedded itself in his arm.

"OUCH!" He shouted. He looked down to see the knife and looked towards me angrily. I pointed to Kisame who was now rolling around on the bed laughing. He went to throw it back at us after wrenching it from his arm but a look from Pein made him stop instantly.

I giggled before going to Brett's bathroom. I grabbed a towel and quickly wrapped it around Hidan's arm when I returned to make sure he didn't bleed everywhere. I took the knife from him and returned it.

After a few minutes I got some bandages from the first aid kit and bandaged up the zealot, making sure he wasn't going to die. Not that he could...

"Okay, I'm going to take Kakuzu and Kisame back to my room to get them clothes." I announced. "Get dressed while I'm gone and then come back. Then we'll get everything straightened out." They all agreed and I left with the giants.

Konan opened the door when I knocked and I saw she had chosen one of the only not black or red shirts I had which happened to be blue and some of my sweat pants. I smiled at her and went to my closet. As soon as I reached it, the other ninjas had finished and were finding places to sit.

Those stupid ninjas and their fast dressing…

I threw open my closet door and paused, looking back at the occupants of my room. "Do not pay any attention to the things I'm throwing out of my closet in my search for clothing." I took the strange looks as them intending on judging me anyways and focused on the dark depths.

I began tossing everything I had stuffed into my closet which included my beloved Akatsuki blanket, my various anime posters, plushies of all of the Akatsuki and most other characters from a shit load of other anime. I ignored the laughter and the comments behind me.

"I think you have a fan, Itachi." Kisame snickered as I threw out _another_ Itachi item. I grabbed a Kisame plushie I just discovered and hit him in the face with it. I was greeted by what I assumed was a thankful smile from Itachi.

"I like sharks." I said into my closet. Hidan and Deidara chortled with laughter. "And terrorists." I added when I threw Deidara's contribution to my collection at him. "I'm not too fond of religious psycho murderers though." I tossed Hidan's look alike into the crowd.

Kakuzu snorted. "I like her." I beamed at him in response.

"Do you have one of these for everyone, un?" Deidara questioned me.

"But of course!" I told him. "AHA!" I stood up, dragging a box out of my closet. "I have an obsession, don't judge me." I added. I paused. "Does anyone want to help me open the box of goodies? Tape hates me and doesn't like to cooperate. I'll make you food."

"**That depends, **what's in the box?" Zetsu asked, staring at the cardboard rectangular prism of wonder.

"Well, clothes for Kisame and Kakuzu, and possibly potential underwear for you if you want it." I told him. I watched Kisame walk over to the box and rip it open with ease. "See, if I would have tried doing that, I would be bleeding everywhere and it would have taken about six hours." Sasori laughed at me.

I dug in the box and grabbed three pairs of massive shorts. "My friend Jason, who was about as big as Kisame let these behind after he died. I'm not entirely sure why I still have them." I admitted. I threw the shorts to Kisame, Kakuzu, and Zetsu. "Use these as boxers if you want to, I don't care either way."

"How did he die?" Pein asked. I was surprised he was even remotely curious.

"I killed him." I told him simply. I watched them all gawk at me like I was serious. I laughed after a second of enjoying their faces. "I'm joking. He died in a car wreck like three years ago. I'm not a murder like some people." I looked at each one of them personally.

"There's nothing wrong with a little killing." Hidan spoke. I sighed, ignoring his opinion.

I threw shirts and pants at Kisame and Kakuzu. "What do you want to eat, Kisame? I'll make it later after we attack the mall."

"I don't know, what do you people eat in this world?" He asked.

I sighed. "Shrimp and crab are your favorite right?" He looked creeped out that I knew what his favorite foods are but nodded all the same. Thank you Naruto wiki. "I have shrimp here so I can make that for you. And since you're all being good, I'll make stuff for you too. Kisame gets spoiled though because he's helpful."

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi declared popping up next to me. I had been waiting for him to do that since I found out he was here.

"Yes Tobi, you're a very good boy." I nodded patting his head. "I'll give you candy if you promise to remain being a good boy. You can't annoy the other though. Deal?"

"Tobi likes Alice-chan." Tobi announced, hugging me. More like crushing me…

"Too much love." I gasped in his hug. He let go and I resumed my normal breathing pattern. I sighed and went to my computer chair. I sat on it, bringing my knees to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. I then rested my chin on my knees.

"So what now?" Itachi asked.

"Well, now we decided what the hell we're going to do." I said simply. "I have ten badass criminals in my house, nine of which are rapeable and one is extremely gorgeous." I added the last part for Konan considering I had no intention or desire to rape her. She smiled when I flashed a wink at her. "And I honestly have no clue what to do with you."

"What do you mean?" Pein wondered, eyeing me as if I was plotting against them.

I rested my chin on my knees. "Obviously I'm going to keep you guys. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something bad happened to you. However, I'm going to have to make sure I have enough food to keep you all alive, I have to get you clothes and other necessities. I have to somehow explain this to Brett and Louis, and Kathryn when she comes over." I closed my eyes and sighed. "Thank god Brett and Louis are loaded. I should have enough money to not have to rely on them but I don't want to use all of my funds."

I froze as something clicked. "Oh my Jashin. I have ten criminals, murderers in my bedroom." I pouted. "But wait…" I looked up and saw Itachi gazing at me from the egg chair he slept in as a kitty. "Ah, that gorgeous face makes everything bearable." I smiled to myself and tuned out the giggling.

I had Itachi freaking Uchiha in my bedroom. I wasn't about to start complaining. I also had eight other really bangable males in my bedroom now as well. There was a God, and he did love me. A lot.

I jumped when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I took it out and noticed Kathryn had texted me.

_Hey hoe, how are you holding up?_

I quickly responded. _As soon as you get home, can you come over? I'm lonely already and I need some Kathryn attention._ I wasn't really lonely but I needed _someone_ to enjoy this with me and she was my best friend.

"What is that thing?" Sasori asked from my bed.

I looked up when I sent the message. "It's called a cell phone. It's a way people in my world talk to each other over long distances. I can call or message someone whenever I want and it only takes a few minutes to get to them." I explained. "It's quite convenient."

I turned my attention to Kakuzu as something returned to my memory. "You slept in my lap last night." I heard Hidan snort. "Please tell me you weren't being perverted."

"You were comfortable." Kakuzu admitted.

I shrugged. "Fair enough." I jumped up as I remembered something else. "You guys have excellent timing!"

"Is that sarcasm, un?" Deidara wondered.

"No, I'm being serious. There's a massive sale at the mall today. It lasts all weekend. I'll be saving a lot of money by getting you your things today." I darted over to my dresser and grabbed a pair of socks and shoes. I gave them to Konan. "Here, these should fit you."

I looked at Kakuzu and Kisame. "Go to the bathroom and change while I get you guys shoes." They looked at me, confused why I was suddenly moving around so much, so fast.

"Where are we going again?" Pein inquired.

I stopped at the door. "It's a very large public building full of stupid people and hormonal teenagers." I told him simply. "Zetsu, I don't think you'll fit in to well at the mall with your plant thing, you don't mind about not going do you?"

"No, **why would I want to go**?" His multiple personalities asked.

I accepted that. "That makes two of us." Or should I have said three? I turned to Tobi. "Sorry Tobi, but you can't go either with that mask of yours. It's not normal for people to wear masks into public places in my world."

"Tobi doesn't want to take off his mask." Tobi said in a panic, pulling on my sleeve.

"Alright then, will you not bother Zetsu while we're gone?" I turned to Zetsu. "Feel free to eat him if he makes a mess of my house." He gave me a creepy smile.

"Remind me again why we all have to fucking go." Hidan growled from the corner of the bed. I frowned and looked at him.

"Kakuzu, do you think he would look good in a pink or purple dress?" I asked, looking at Kakuzu after finishing my death glare directed at Hidan.

"Purple." Kakuzu told me with a chuckle.

"Point taken." Hidan said with a sigh.

I patted his head. "Good boy." I returned to the door. "Now sit here and stay put for a minute, I have to get shoes." I left without waiting for a reply and hurried to Brett and Louis's room. I dug around in their closet and found seven pairs of shoes for the guys. I mentally thanked Brett and Louis for being obsessed with shoes and for having big feet.

After getting socks I went back to my room and let the guys fight over which shoes they wanted. I found my set of keys for the Hummer and addressed the now fully clothed and shoed Akatsuki members. "The rules are Number one: No killing people. Number two: No sacrificing people," I pointed at Hidan. "Number three: No stealing money," Kakuzu received a finger in his direction. "No Ninjutsu or Genjustu." I glared at Itachi, Pein, Konan, and Kisame. "There will be no bombing anything and no making others puppets. Do absolutely not leave this house without my permission." My gaze drifted over the puppeteer and the terrorist. "Just be good okay?"

They all just stared at me. "Pein-sama, be a dear and make them agree or I'll throw you out on the streets."

"Do as she says." Pein said calmly. The group said words of obedience before following me as I instructed.

"Zetsu, Tobi, make sure you do _not_ answer the door for anyone unless it is us." I instructed. "And for those venturing to the mall, if a girl starts hitting on you, simply threaten her or tell her you belong to me."

I paused. "I'll be sure to get you guys presents." I looked at Tobi in particular. "Will candy be acceptable, Tobi?" I was answered with an eager response as I shooed out the other members. I raised my eyebrow at him when he was the only one looking at me. "Is candy okay?" I mouthed at him. I saw his head nod once and I smiled at him before locking the door.

* * *

_This was originally going to be longer, but it's like 7 pages on word. If I didn't cut it off when I did, it would have been like 24 pages and that's just ridiculous._

_The good new is, I'm feeling generous at 1:30 in the morning, so I'll give you a chapter now,_

_and probably more later._

_Your reviews make me super happy. The more you review the more I will post._

_I actually don't have a life because I'm a nerd so trust me when I say that:D  
_


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter Five is here._

_Beware of possible spoilers in this chapter or further chapters._

_Unfortunately I don't own Naruto. If I did, there would be a few changes.  
_

* * *

I led the troops to the vehicle. I unlocked it with the super clicker and told them to get in. They all looked at it with slight fear in their eyes so I grabbed Konan and led her to the passenger seat. They watched me as I opened the door and help her in. I then showed them how to buckle the seat belt.

"It's not going to eat you so get in." I said with a laugh.

After a few sighs, laughs, and Hidan's bloody nose, they were all safely in the Hummer and I was pulling away from the little condo I dwelled in.

"Hidan, please don't bleed on the seats. I don't want Louis to lock me in the dryer again." I told him. Most of the more emotional members raised their eyebrows at my past punishment.

"Then you shouldn't have punched me." He snapped, making sure not to bleed on the seats anyways.

"Well you shouldn't have second based me." I retorted, looking back at him in the rearview mirror.

"I just grabbed your fucking tit." Hidan grumbled. Kakuzu shook his head at his partner.

"In my world, we call it someone second basing or in your case: attempted pedophilia." I explained. "You choose. Do it again, and I'll cut your penis off."

"Fine." He growled.

I sighed. "Alright kiddies, remember: don't talk to strangers, look both ways and hold hands before and while crossing the street. Also, don't kill anyone." I shook my head at my own antics. "I'm babysitting and I'm not even getting paid."

"Before we left, you said something about people hitting on us?" Sasori reminded. "What exactly did you mean?"

"Well some girls in our world know sexy guys when they see them." I informed him. "If you tell them I own you or if you threaten them well enough, they'll leave you alone." I glanced at Konan. "Same goes for guys though you can break their face if you want. I give you permission." She laughed.

"How come Konan gets special privileges, un?" Deidara demanded.

"Well that's because she's my favorite female character in the show and I like her better than you as a person." I told him with a smile. He glared at me. "Deal with it Blondie." Sasori chuckled at my obvious sarcasm.

"What would telling them you own us do anyways?" Kisame asked, getting me back on topic. He leaned forward in his seat to rest his chin on my chair.

"I'll fight them." I said calmly. "I can't risk you killing them on accident or on purpose because you're all super badass ninjas, but I can fight them and not have to worry about it." I pulled into the mall parking lot. Since I lived in the middle of civilization the mall was only like ten minutes away in massive traffic like there always was.

Itachi was the first one out of the car when I parked and shut it off. He seemed very eager to get out of such a cramped space. I wrote it off as just his personality and ninja habits. "Jashin you move fast." I said looking at Itachi as I dropped down from the driver's seat.

"Hn." He grunted at me, giving me a small Uchiha smirk.

"So what are we getting?" Pein questioned me as he got out of the car and shut the door behind him. Kakuzu, Konan and Hidan came around from the other side as Kisame towered over me from behind and Itachi stood silently beside me.

"Clothes first off; I can get food when we need it." I went through a mental checklist. "I'll probably get some little things for myself and I'm willing to buy you all something if you behave." I said in a tone similar to a mother of badly behaved children.

"Define behave." Hidan said while looking towards the massive building beyond that was the mall. I rolled my eyes at his words before turning around and heading towards the store.

Once inside the building, I led them to various clothing stores and let them pick different things, limiting them to five shirts and six pants. Shoes weren't necessary so they didn't get any.

We passed by a Victoria's Secret and I had to drag Hidan away from the store by his ear when he insisted on going in. I had to make sure Konan didn't want to partake in their clothing first since she seemed to be slightly interested. She quickly declined. Thankfully…

We approached Borders and I led them inside, assuming some of the more intelligent murderers might want a book or something. Itachi browsed the isles with interest with Pein and they looked around, searching for something that caught their eye. Konan found some origami books and was looking through them intently.

I followed Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, and Deidara around, making sure they weren't doing anything bad. I had instructed Sasori to keep Itachi, Pein, and Konan in his sights. He assured me that he wasn't going to act like an idiot and for some reason, I trusted him.

I noticed Kisame looking at the different manga curiously before reaching out to grab one. My eyes widened as I realized that was the most recent release of the same show he was from. It was the one where Sasuke infiltrates the land of Iron.

"Kisame, step away from the balance breaker." I snapped, slapping his hand. "Bad shark boy! Bad!" He looked at me like a kicked puppy. "Sorry but I think that will be a bit too much information for you young man."

"What do you mean?" He asked. I shook my head and assured him that if he read it, he would turn pink and be raped by scaly pandas. His eyes widened at me but he heeded my warning. I sighed internally with relief.

"Do they have any fucking porn in this place?" Hidan asked, a little too loudly for a _book _store. I face-palmed.

"I'm not sure exactly, but please keep the cursing to a minimum and lower your voice or else we'll get kicked out." I told him. "I'll make you ribs for dinner tomorrow."

He looked at me, considering my offer before shrugging, giving in. I jumped in fright when Itachi appeared behind me and tapped my shoulder.

"Jesus!" I snapped, turning to look at him. "Warn a person would you?" He just stared at me. "Did you need something or did you just want to give me a heart attack."

"I think we are done looking for books." He told me stoically. I saw he had two chosen. Pein and Konan stood behind him, each with one in their hands. Sasori stood beside Deidara, his arms crossed calmly.

"Oh, alright." I gestured for the books and they surrendered them to me. I bought them with my Borders card. I was a regular and I got special discounts for coming here almost every day. I spent my time here while Louis was at his classes and Brett worked.

I added another bag to my arm before leaving the book store with my cats behind me. "Where to now guys?" I asked looking back at them. "Anywhere in particular you want to check out?" I had saw Hidan, Deidara, and Kisame eyeing Spencer's when we passed it earlier. When I asked, they confirmed their desire to go look.

"Alice!" I looked around when someone shouted my name. I instantly regretted it. One of my, for lack of a better word, friends I had met through Brett and Louis jogged over to me. I raised my eyebrows at him as he approached, oblivious to the eight people glaring at him.

"What do you want, Adam?" I asked in annoyance. I was no longer on good terms with this guy but I was decent enough to be civilized around him. He was my ex from two years of dating. We broke up under very rough circumstances. He still liked me though.

"What are you doing here? I thought you'd have gone with Brett and Louis." He asked. He was almost as big as Kakuzu. Thankfully he wasn't a badass ninja with chakra or else I'd have lost my head long ago.

"No, I'm home while they're gone." I told him. "We got cats a few days ago and I have to take care of them." I didn't add that eight of those cats were behind me staring at him.

He smirked. "You can bring them over to my place and stay with me. I've got plenty of room. I don't want you to be in that house all alone for god knows how long."

"The fuck is this guy?" Hidan asked from behind me. "Can I kill him?" I shot a look at Hidan before turning back to the walking time bomb.

"No thanks." I said coldly. "Now go away." I went to turn around but was stopped. Adam had grabbed my arm and was holding me in place. "Let go dick-face."

"Don't act like that." He told me with his signature expression. I knew that face. It meant he was actually very annoyed but he was trying to look calm and unaffected by my choice of nicknames. Adam has a very short temper, the cause of the ended relationship.

"Adam, get off." I growled. "I'm not putting up with your shit. I'm stressed out today so get off or I'll shove my foot so far up your ass you'll be walking around bowlegged for a month." I obviously forgot threatening someone twice my size with a short temper is illogical.

He tightened his grip and I winced, feeling the bruise from his hand already forming. Thankfully I brought my kitties. Itachi was suddenly standing in between us and Adam's grip was broken when Kisame ripped me away from him.

_Ah, I think I'm in love._

"What do you want?" Adam asked, returning Itachi's sexy glare quite easily.

Itachi didn't blink. "She told you to get off."

"Who are you supposed to be? Her boyfriend?" Adam scoffed as if anyone could be. I sighed and shook my head at his cocky behavior.

"She's with me." Itachi stated coldly in that drool inducing voice of his. On cue, I drooled. He was the reason I had become interested in the Akatsuki and now I was hooked. Ah, such a beautiful Uchiha.

He glared passed Itachi at me. "You're with this guy? His hair is almost as long as yours." He shook his head. "You downgraded since you went out with me."

"I disagree." I commented. "He's so much hotter than you. That and he's got a great personality whereas you're just an asshole."

"Oh really?" He challenged.

"Indeed." I confirmed. "Now go away, you're an embarrassment to society." I looked at Itachi. "Come on sexy, I've got to buy some candy for Tobi." He raised his eyebrow at me. "He's a waste of time and I don't want your intelligence level to drop from being around him for too long." I turned away from the nightmare and led my guests to Spencer's.

Adam glared at me. "You're going to regret that."

"I doubt it." I said over my shoulder as we walked towards the prank store. He made to follow after me. "Leave me alone Adam or I'll get a restraining order on your ass… scratch that, I'll just let them kill you. They have a lot of pent up energy and I'm pretty sure my silver haired friend here would like a sacrifice." I patted Hidan's shoulder.

"That little pussy couldn't put a scratch on me." Adam scoffed. I made sure to stop Hidan from proving him wrong as he made to do so.

"Hidan, don't." I said so only he could hear me. "I'll let you if he bothers us again but don't do it right now."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "Are you serious?"

"I'm as serious as a heart attack." I confirmed, glancing at Kakuzu when he popped into my head. "Now enter the prank store and let us get your gift shall we?" He shrugged, taking my word for it and entered the store without a fight. "You're such a good boy Hidan."

Kakuzu gave me a questioning and disgusted look. "You're messed up, girl."

"It's Alice." I sighed. "And I don't know how you don't love him," I looked at Hidan, "and vice versa." I patted Kakuzu.

"He's an idiot." Kakuzu deadpanned.

"He's a jackass." Hidan said at the same time.

I shrugged. "Well I love you both." I told them. "Now go and blow your minds with goodies!" I shooed them further into the store before going to Itachi and Kisame who were looking at bumper stickers.

Itachi looked around at me when I joined them. Kisame smirked at me and pointed to one that said something along the lines of "Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you're an asshole." I had to laugh at that.

"Thanks for before guys." I said after I finished my laugh.

Kisame patted my head. "Don't sweat it, Alice." I noted he was the first to use my name other than Tobi. I loved Kisame, he was my second favorite.

"Honestly, thank you. I shouldn't have gotten you involved." I repeated.

Itachi looked at me with his black orbs. "It would have been rude to not help you." He said. "You are our caretaker after all." He gestured in the direction of the others. "If I hadn't stepped forward, I'm pretty sure the others certainly would have."

"How on earth did you guys become murderers and criminals?" I asked rhetorically. Kisame snickered and patted me again before going over to join Deidara by the fireworks. _Figures._ I told myself.

Itachi glanced at me. "So, how much _do _you know?"

I sighed. "I know _everything_." I lowered my voice. "I know about your situation, your clan, your relationship with your brother. _Everything_."

He gave me a strange look. I wasn't sure if he was impressed and shocked or slightly peeved that someone knew about his deepest secret. "How?"

I scoffed. "Well you are my favorite." He smirked at that ever so slightly. "Even before I found out about the details behind the massacre you had were my favorite character from the moment I saw you with Kisame. Next would have to be Sasuke until I got to know Kisame a little more, now they're tied for second."

"Why?" He asked with one of his super one-worded responses.

"You're hot, I love your attitude, and the Sharingan is probably the most badass thing in the entire world." I admitted while looking passed him. "There's probably a boat load of other reasons but I'll tell you about those in a minute after I kill Deidara for having highly dangerous combustible things next to the lighters while Kakuzu plays with one."

I hurried around him to go beat Deidara and Kakuzu. I smacked Deidara on the back of his head while punching Kakuzu. "Bad murderers!" I snatched the fireworks from Deidara and the lighter from Kakuzu. "Don't put fire so close to things that explode. I know you love to make things go boom but do it outside."

"Why not, yeah?" The blond questioned me with an extremely adorable innocent face. I melted internally but kept up my scolding demeanor.

"If this exploded while inside that would mean you broke one of my rules, whereas, I'd have to slit your throat and kick you all out onto the streets to fend for yourselves." I told him. "And Alice doesn't want to do that because Alice loves you."

"Why are you taking like Tobi, un?" Deidara questioned as Kakuzu muttered something about me being crazy.

"It's more effective." I said absently, returning the dangerous toys. "Now pick something out so we can leave. I'm going blind with the lack of light." Seriously, the Spencer's in my mall is like a pit of doom.

Deidara pointed at the fireworks. "I want those, yeah." He grabbed another lighter and promptly placed in my hands. "And that."

I nodded, expecting as much. "Silly little pyro." He smirked at me. "What do you want Kakuzu?" I asked, looking at the very large stitched man before me.

He shrugged. "Nothing in particular, this world has nothing of value to me."

"Just give him money." Sasori told me, appearing at my shoulder like the ninja he is. I gasped and jumped at his sudden arrival, causing him to chuckle at me.

"Stupid ninjas." I muttered to myself.

"Hey Alice, will you wear this if I get it?" Hidan asked, scurrying over to me. I saw him holding onto one of the many… lewd… clothing items they have here for women.

I stared at him for about five minutes, creeping him out with my glare. "Put it back." I hissed. He pouted but didn't challenge me. Apparently my death glare got the point across. "Get something appropriate please." I added as he went to return the sad excuse for clothing.

He returned about a minute later with two or three prank things. "That's much better Hidan." I praised, patting his slicked back silver hair. "I'll take those." I saw Kisame standing beside Itachi now, his hands in the pockets of the borrowed pants. He said he didn't want anything when I asked him so I shrugged and went to the counter to buy the goods.

Luckily I know everyone that lives in the area or else I wouldn't have been able to buy these things. I was only 16 and in Ohio, you need to have a license to have get fireworks and I didn't have one of those. Brett did though. The guy working at the register lived next door to me until I was thirteen so he rang up the goodies without question.

"Bye Alice." He said to me after I thanked him and made my way towards the exit. I waved goodbye at him and left with my purchases in my grasp and my hobos in tow.

"So do you like know everyone?" Kisame asked me.

I nodded. "Pretty much, yeah." I stepped over a forgotten bottle of water lying near a trash can. "If you've lived around here your entire life and you're a member of my family, you eventually become at least acquaintances with everyone you're not related to." I sighed. "I'm known by everyone in the city by my first name and everyone in the area around it by my last."

"That sounds annoying." Kakuzu commented.

"You have no idea." I told him. I led them to the exit and from there, back to the Hummer. I stowed the bags into the trunk before climbing in after doing a head count. Making sure I had all five idiots and three good kids I turned the vehicle on and drove away.

"By the way guys, I'm sorry you had to get dragged into my personal problems." I said, focusing on the road. "It wasn't fair of me to allow that." Drama usually isn't my thing.

"Don't worry about it kiddo." Kisame said with a sharp-toothed grin. "We don't mind."

Konan looked at me from the back seat. Pein now sat in the front with me. "Who was he?" She asked me.

I sighed. "He _was_ my boyfriend." I shook my head. "We broke up last year."

"What did you hit it and quit it?" Hidan asked with a mischievous grin.

I glanced in his direction in the mirror. "No, actually I dated him for two years."

"So why break it off, un?" Deidara questioned. He was sitting in the very back with Hidan, Sasori, and Kakuzu.

I frowned at that. "Well after he broke my jaw, I wasn't going to just sit there and take it." I sighed. "Though I might not look it, I'm actually a very nice and forgiving person. I forgave him a lot over the two years because I'm an idiot but I think his last punch knocked some sense into me."

"To be honest, you don't seem like the kind of girl that would condone that sort of behavior." Pein said dully from beside me.

I looked at him. "Well if I love someone, I'm willing to go through anything."

Hidan crossed his arms. "So if I hit you, would you forgive me?"

I laughed. "After I was through stabbing you a few times as compensation, yes I would forgive you."

"Did you stab that fucker?" Hidan wondered.

"He's not immortal." I informed him. "Though, Louis did break all but two of his ribs and snapped his arm for me. I have very violent friends." I was shocked by the truth of my own words. I did have very violent friends. The eight people sitting in the car with me were proof enough for that.

"That guy is nuts." Kakuzu pointed out.

I agreed. "Yeah, he is, but he's a sweetheart when he doesn't want to kill you." I smiled. "His favorite characters are you and Hidan because you're both crazy like he is."

"I'm not gay." Hidan clarified.

"I never said you were." I reminded him.

I drove the rest of the way home silently, listening to them bicker amongst themselves. Pein, sitting in the passenger seat beside me, was pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance as the more rowdy Akatsuki members acted like idiots. Konan and Itachi remained silent while Sasori and Kakuzu only added sarcastic comments when necessary.

Hidan, Deidara, and Kisame had started arguing about why they weren't cats anymore and the conversation eventually morphed into which one of them was going to get to sleep in my bed with me at night.

Itachi chuckled slightly at my disturbed look that had been dominating my expression since the strange turn in conversation. To be honest, I really didn't care which one slept where. Konan and Pein obviously got first dibs being the leaders, and I would make sure Itachi and Kisame were comfortable before moving on to the others. I played favorites.

I jumped slightly when the ringtone for my cell phone sounded throughout the car. I grabbed it to see who it was. I almost died when I saw it was Kathryn. I glared at the people in the back who were now silent in confusion. Thank god we were at a stoplight.

"Make a sound and I swear you will be missing something very precious as soon as you fall asleep." I turned my attention to Sasori. "I'll just set you on fire." They all nodded at my death glare and I opened my phone.

"Hello Kathryn." I said in a completely different tone. I heard Hidan mutter something about me being bipolar before he was elbowed in the gut by Deidara.

_"Hi Alice, what's up?"_ She asked.

"I'm on my way back from the mall." I mouthed thanks at Deidara who gave me a smirk in response. I winked at him in the rearview mirror which earned me snorts of laughter and many chuckles. Why, I'm not entirely sure.

_"Oh, did you get anything good?"_ She asked. I told her I did and she went on. _"So while we're up here, my mom wants to visit my uncle. So I won't get home until really late. I'll come over first thing in the morning okay?"_

I nodded. "That works just fine." I pulled into the parking lot that led to my condo. "Just call me before you come over."

_"I will. Are you okay, you sound strange?"_ She told me. Leave it to Kathryn to notice my voice changing even in the slightest.

"I'm just focusing on driving." I admitted. That was half of the problem. "I'll see you tomorrow okay? I've got to drag everything inside." We quickly said our goodbyes and made promises to see each other tomorrow as I pulled into my spot.

As soon as I put it in park, the ninja were already dispersing. They stood by the trunk, knowing that was my destination after I shut off the Hummer and locked the doors. I popped the trunk and loaded my arms with the bags.

When we got to the door after having Kisame shut the trunk I remembered I had locked the door and my key was in my pocket. I swore. "Okay, who wants to help me out here?"

They all looked at me so I went on. "My key to the house is in my back pocket. Someone other than Hidan please get it and unlock the door so we can go inside."

"Why fucking not me?" Hidan wondered.

I glanced at him. "Well, because you're a pervert." I sighed when no one moved. "Will someone grow a pair and get my key? I'm not going to hit you or anything, just get it."

Itachi stepped forward bravely and went behind me to retrieve the key. "Which pocket?" He asked. I told him it was my butt pocket and he quickly fished the key out. He looked at me for instructions on what to do next.

"It's the gold key. Use it to unlock the door." I said. "Thanks by the way. It seems you're the only one with balls out here." I saw him smirk when the others protested loudly. Needless to say the loudest protest was Hidan's.

Itachi skillfully unlocked the door and pushed it open wide enough for me to go in first with my burden. He followed in after me and the rest brought up the rear. Pein, the last one in, shut the door and locked it at my polite request.

I put the bags on the floor of the living room. "Zetsu, Tobi, come here please." I called through the house, curious as to where my kitties were. I was surprised my house was still in one piece. I mentally thanked Jashin for that.

Zetsu emerged from the kitchen while Tobi skipped down the stairs. He tackle hugged me onto the couch. I had to smile at Tobi; I was so used to Brett that his behavior didn't annoy me in the slightest. I was a pro at dealing with people like him.

"Hi Tobi, were you a good boy while we were gone?" I asked, patting his head after returning the hug to him.

"Tobi is a good boy!" He chirped. He hopped off me and sat on the cushion beside me. "Tobi didn't break anything." I looked to Zetsu for a confirmation.

"He behaved. **You must have drugged him with that cat food. **Tobi is never that good." Zetsu told me. I just shrugged and dug around in the bags for their presents. I had gotten Tobi a large bag of candy and a bag off-brand pixie sticks.

"I just know how to handle him." I confessed. "Tobi is very much like Brett in personality and I trained him just fine." I looked to Tobi. "Now Tobi, you can have a little bit now as a reward and if you keep being a good boy, I'll give you more."

He bounced up and down in his spot eagerly. I grabbed a generous handful of candy out of the bag and some pixie sticks. I plopped them into his awaiting hands before allowing him to skip away from me happily with his treasure.

"I got you a friend, Zetsu." I told him. I carefully withdrew a cactus from a bag I had taken special care of and handed it to him. He thanked me, curious as to how I knew he liked cacti. I shrugged and told him it was just a lucky guess.

I paused, looking up at Zetsu as something tugged at my attention. I smirked. "I've always wanted to ask you something, Zetsu." He looked at me with a raised eyebrow with the rest of the Akatsuki, minus Tobi since he was inhaling sugar at the moment. I looked up and down the plant's person(s?) for a moment. "Are you black where it counts?" I raised my eyebrows suggestively, hoping he would pick up on what I was asking. The others obviously did because a chorus of laughter erupted from them.

Zetsu grinned after a moment of recovering from my question. "**If you want me to be**." His dark side said to me just as seductively. I laughed and accepted that.

"Okay, so I got you a bigger coat if you want it." I told him, still chortling. "Tobi, I got you clothes too." I grabbed a shirt I was particularly proud of from one of the bags. It was a black shirt that said "Bad Boy" on it in red letters. The eight members present when I bought it thought it was pretty amusing.

"Thank you Alice-chan!" Tobi called from the recliner in the corner. He was much too enthralled in his candy to care about clothing.

I shrugged that off and addressed the others. "Well, go at it." I gestured to the bags. "Get what's yours while I start dinner." I got off the couch, my spot instantly being occupied by Kakuzu, and went to the kitchen to begin working on my newest chore.

I had just begun preparing Kisame's shrimp when said shark walked in with Itachi. Itachi took a seat at the table while Kisame snuck up behind me, going for one of the shrimp.

I swatted his hand away. "Keep your hands off the crustacean until I give them to you." He pouted so I had to give him one. That wiped the pout away instantly and replaced it with a happy smile that I had to return. I cursed myself for growing a soft spot for Kisame.

Itachi smirked at me as Kisame sat at the table with him. "You're quite easily influenced." He told me with his sexy voice.

"I have a soft spot for blue things." I admitted, sticking my tongue out at the Uchiha, flashing my tongue piercing. Kisame chuckled. "He has the cuteness factor going for him too."

"I already like it here." Kisame announced to the kitchen. I patted his head good naturedly and opened the fridge to get some cabbage. I put it on a plate before giving it to Itachi.

"You're cute too." I said as I placed the plate before him. I winked at him and he smirked at me again. I returned to my cooking, making a various assortments of different, easy to eat food. I had to make sure it wasn't too complex for them and I didn't want it to be messy enough to allow a big mess if they decided to be slobs.

Kisame left when Kakuzu called for him to come back to the living room about fifteen minutes later, leaving me alone with Itachi. He engaged me in conversation while he watched me work and it flowed with surprising ease.

To be quite honest, Itachi and I had a lot in common. We both were genuinely nice people but we both put up a tough façade because of our surrounds and past. My love of the Uchiha grew with everything thing I learned about him that Naruto wiki couldn't teach me.

I eventually found myself sitting beside him, talking at the dinner table, waiting for some Ramen noodles to finish cooking when the alarm on the microwave sounded. I jumped up and began setting the table after finishing up.

"Oi! You murderers, get in here." I announced. I heard some shouts of joy from Hidan, Tobi, and Deidara who were the first ones in. Kakuzu and Kisame came in after them with Zetsu while Pein and Konan followed them in seconds later. Sasori came in last, lacking the need to eat. He just leaned against the doorframe and watched me finish setting the table.

"Okay, there are a lot of different foods here. Eat whatever you like." I instructed. "Do not make a mess of my kitchen or Sasori gets to do whatever he wants to you."

"You're so nice." Sasori told me as I finished addressing the eaters. I smiled at him as I snuck over to Tobi and whispered in his ear.

"If you want to keep your face hidden from the others, you're more than welcome to eat somewhere else." I whispered so no one but him could hear me. I saw Madara's Sharingan flash at me from beneath the mask but he nodded like the good boy he pretended to be and skipped out of the room with his food. I sighed and Itachi gave me a raised eyebrow, knowing what was up.

"What do you guys want to drink?" I asked, going to the glass cabinet. I took down nine glasses and set them in a line on the counter.

"What do you have?" Konan asked. I went to the fridge and look around.

"We have juice, pop, fruit punch, lemonade, and water. The juices include orange juice, apple juice, and grape juice. The pops include Coke, Pepsi, and Mountain Dew." I explained. I was pretty sure they only knew what a few of those were. "I'll let you try them first if you want."

"I'll take anything." Hidan said. "Just grab whatever." Kakuzu voiced the same opinion. Kisame said he wanted Mountain Dew while Deidara said he wanted fruit punch. Konan and Pein asked for lemonade and Itachi wanted apple juice. Zetsu said he wanted orange juice.

I poured their drinks, giving Hidan and Kakuzu Coke since they were indecisive and distributed them to their new owners. Gladly no one disliked their chosen beverage. Hidan even demanded that I refill his glass at least six times before he finished eating.

I got Tobi some apple juice and took it out to him since he was eating in the living room. I announced where I was going to Sasori a little louder than necessary to make sure Tobi knew I was coming so he could hide his face.

He was staring in my direction when I came into the living room with his mask very much on. "I brought you some apple juice Tobi." I told him as I set the glass on the table. "If you don't want that, there's a bunch of other drinks in there you can have."

"Thank you." Madara said in his non-Tobi voice. I could tell he wanted to know how much I knew about him. I just shook my head before putting some napkins down on the table beside him just in case.

I smiled at him. "Don't worry _Tobi_; your secret is safe with me." I beamed at him once more before returning to the kitchen. Sasori looked over his shoulder as I returned.

"Aren't you going to eat, kid?" Sasori asked me. I stopped beside him to chat.

I shook my head. "No, I'm not hungry. I take it you're not eating either, Mr. Puppet?"

He raised his eyebrows. "You're right. But you haven't eaten since this morning."

"I don't eat very often. I'm usually never hungry." I admitted.

"When is your strange friend coming over?" Sasori questioned.

"She said she was coming over tomorrow morning because she's visiting family right now." I explained. "Why, miss her?"

"The brat does." Sasori corrected me, jerking his head at his blond partner. "He talks about her to anyone who will listen. He was kind of sad when she left."

"That's very sweet of him." I said with a smile. Kathryn would be pleased to hear this when she was in the loop. Deidara is her favorite character, followed by Sasori and Itachi. "He was always her favorite; followed by you and Itachi."

"I see." Sasori commented. "I thought she seemed kind of dense…"

I laughed. "She's actually really smart. She just lacks common sense and she enjoys acting dingy. She's probably smarter than me in some cases when it comes to academics. I just happen to have wit and sarcasm."

"Something I appreciate." Sasori complimented. "I now have someone intelligent to talk to that actually talks." He smirked at me when I giggled. "Itachi and Leader-sama don't talk very much." He continued.

"That's why I'm here Danna." I told him with a wink.

"Oi! Alice, what's this?" Hidan asked. Apparently he had run out of Coke and went to get himself some when I wasn't to be found. While he was searching for a refill, he had discovered some of Louis's alcohol that I was sure not to mention we had.

"It's poison." I told him quickly. "Louis keeps it around just in case someone breaks in." He raised his eyebrow at me but quickly put it away. I sighed with relief.

"What was it really?" Sasori asked me in an undertone, noticing my behavior.

I glanced at him. "Alcohol." He nodded in understanding and fell silent as everyone soon finished eating.

"Just leave your plates and stuff on the table; I'll clean everything up in a minute." I told them. "You guys can go relax. Just don't go outside or break anything." I watched them all get up and depart from the kitchen.

* * *

_Chapter six will be up soon but after that, I'm probably going to space them out a bit._

_I still have a few other stories that I'm working on, and not all of them are fanfictions._

_I love all of you who read and review. You make my day._

_Review and I'll give you Tobi. :)  
_


	6. Chapter 6

_To be quite honest, I really don't like the middle of chapter five that much._

_I don't own Naruto. I wish I did.  
_

* * *

I walked into the living room after I cleaned the kitchen and saw my guests positioned around the living room, doing their own things. Sasori and Deidara were arguing about art, Kakuzu was talking to Kisame about something as Kisame munched on some of the shrimp I wanted to get rid of.

Konan and Pein were chatting quietly in the corner and Tobi was prattling about Zetsu's new plant that was named Kevin after Zetsu's kitten name. Itachi was reading one of the books he picked out from Borders in a corner. Hidan was looking through the massive shelf of movies we have against the wall by the giant flat screen.

I walked over to him and sat on the ground beside him to look with him. He looked around at me when I sat beside him and grinned at me. I returned his smile politely and waited for him to do something.

"What the hell are you doing?" He asked, not in a mean way, but exactly how someone would ask the question without the obscenity.

I shrugged. "I'm seeing what you're doing." I admitted.

He gestured at the movie shelf. "I want to know what the fuck these are."

"They're movies, silly." I told him. I skimmed through the ones in my sights before picking one out. It was Texas Chainsaw Massacre. "I think you would like this one. It's a horror film. The guy runs around killing everybody with a chainsaw."

"What in Jashin's name is a chainsaw?" He wondered. After I told him, he looked extremely interested. I assumed as much.

I sighed after a minute and left him to go through the movies, promising him we would watch one soon. I went over to the stationary computer that was off to the side of the room and logged on to my name.

Deidara came over a few minutes later once he finished his argument with Sasori, to see what I was doing. He pulled up a spare chair and sat beside me. "What are you doing, un?"

I clicked onto the internet icon. "I'm just roaming around on the internet." I told him.

"What's the internet, yeah?" He questioned.

"It's only the greatest invention in the world." I explained. "It's like a virtual library with everything in it." I smiled as something popped into my head. "For example…" I went to YouTube and found a video labeled "The biggest and best explosions". I showed him and once the video was over, he was supporting a very pleased grin.

"I thought you would like that." I admitted. "There is a large variety of stuff on here." I laughed as I was struck with another idea. I quickly arranged some cords so I could use the flat screen as the monitor for the computer and soon got everyone's attention.

I showed them all kinds of different fan made videos. If it didn't expose secrets, I showed it. Caramelldansen was a crowd favorite. Mostly it was just me laughing my ass off at their reactions while they fumed but still.

I eventually got to the point where I decided to destroy the world. I showed the Akatsuki the 23rd episode of Naruto Abridged when Kisame and Itachi make their debut. I was already snorting with laughter as I clicked on the parody.

I hushed everyone and started the video. As soon as Kisame's voice erupted from the speakers, everyone except for him showed some sort of amusement. Smirks and chuckles came from the stoic ones while laughter rumbled from the rest. I had to bury my face in the pillow to keep from laughing too loudly.

Itachi and Kisame's glares intensified as the episode continued. I however only laughed even harder. When they showed Kisame's mustache during the flashback part, I about died. I swear I even saw Pein and Konan laughing at that.

When the episode ended, I clicked out of the video and tried to calm myself down. Itachi and Kisame both glared at me. "What?" I asked, unnerved by their gaze.

"Where are those people?" Kisame demanded as Hidan, Deidara, and Kakuzu howled with laughter. "I'm going to kill them."

I laughed. "You can't Kisame. They are a source of my entertainment." I patted Itachi. "It was just a little parody. There's no harm in it."

"Neither of us are that pathetic." Itachi told me seriously.

"Oh whatever, you totally made fun of Kisame's voice in the video." I challenged. "And Kisame made fun of your mustache when it came up. You both thought it was funny. Admit it."

"Never." Itachi said stubbornly. Damn that Uchiha and his sexy ways.

I opened my mouth to retort when I saw Deidara and Kisame both yawn hugely. I stuck my tongue out at the Uchiha before addressing all of the Akatsuki. "I think it's time for bed?"

They responded with nods and mutters of agreement. I dipped my head and stood. "Alright, I'm going to separate you in rooms according to your partners." I looked at Pein and Konan. "You two can sleep in Brett and Louis's bed. Kakuzu and Hidan will sleep on the floor. Actually, we have an air mattress they can use instead." I looked to Sasori and Deidara. "You two can fight over who gets the bed in the spare bedroom. It'll only be you two because when Kathryn comes over, she gets the bed." I turned to Tobi and Zetsu. "You two can sleep on the couches down here. They pull out into beds so I'll teach you how to do that in a minute."

I turned to my last two victims. "Kisame, Itachi, you guys get to bunk with me. Brett and Louis have like four air mattresses because people like to store their camping shit here." I mentally thanked our friends for leaving their stuff here. "It's convenient so now everyone not sleeping on a bed doesn't have to sleep on the floor."

"You do realize I won't be sleeping." Sasori pointed out.

I looked at him. "You can read Deidara good night stories and cuddle with him if he gets scared then." He gave me a flat stare as Deidara told me to shut up. "Are there any complaints on room arrangements?"

"I fucking have one." Hidan said loudly, raising his hand.

"Of course you do." I sighed. I turned my head towards the Jashinist. "What is it Hidan?"

He pointed to Itachi. "How come the Uchiha gets to sleep in your room? Why can't me and Kakuzu?" He was rewarded with exasperated sighs from the others and me.

"You can't because you're a pervert." I told him. "Kakuzu can because he knows how to behave. I'm putting you with Pein because he will make sure you behave." He pouted.

"Now let's get ready for bed." I declared, leading the troops up the stairs to show them around and set everything up for them.

* * *

I woke up the next morning in a very strange situation.

I was lying in my bed which was normal. However, what wasn't normal was when I went to move, I couldn't. My eyes instantly shot open and I looked around my room in a panic. I looked straight in front of me to see a very _sexy_ blue body that had very strong, muscular arms wrapped around me.

I followed the perfect chest up and saw Kisame sleeping peacefully next to me. I tried to back away from him in shock, only to come into contact with another person. I looked over my shoulder to see Itachi lying on his back, watching me from the corner of his eye.

"As happy as I am to be lying in between two of the sexiest people in the world, I have to ask. What the fuck are you two doing in my bed with me?" I said in a strained whisper. As shocked as I was, I didn't want to wake Kisame up by yelling because he looked adorable.

Itachi chuckled and Kisame stirred. I looked back up into his face to see him smile down at me with a sharp-toothed grin. "Morning, Alice."

"Good morning Kisame." I replied without emotion. "Now, since Itachi, you heard my question, please answer."

"You were having a nightmare." Itachi explained.

Kisame squeezed me, catching on. "You were yelping and stuff in your sleep. I tried to wake you up but you wouldn't. Itachi noticed you calmed down when I touched you so we climbed into bed with you. You didn't make a peep after that."

I sighed. "Well thank you." I reached under Kisame's neck and grabbed my phone off my nightstand. He chuckled at my methods but said nothing. "This is the best way to wake up." I muttered to myself.

"What?" Itachi asked, rolling on his side to watch me as I turned to my back.

I smirked. "Waking up in between two extremely adorable and sexy guys is the best. It's like a dream come true." I laughed at his eye roll.

Itachi was wearing the clothes he had been wearing yesterday and his hair was down. He looked completely and utterly rapeable. I fought back the drool and looked over Kisame, attempting to distract myself from the gorgeous Uchiha.

Kisame wore only the sweatpants he was wearing yesterday. His torso was bare and his blue hair was slightly rumpled with sleep. His eyes were open only slightly since he was still tired. All in all, it didn't help distract me.

"I can't take this much hotness so early in the morning." I pouted. Kisame chuckled a deep chuckle that had a slight raspy sound in it. It was cute. Itachi merely smirked at me.

I flipped open my phone and looked at the time. It was about nine in the morning. I had slept longer than I usually did. No doubt because of the stress I went through yesterday and my new bed buddies.

Kathryn had sent me a text message about half an hour ago. I opened it and read it.

_Yo hoe, I'm coming over at ten so make sure you're ready for me!_

I raised my eyebrow at this and shrugged. I only had an hour to think of a way to explain this to Kathryn. Awesome.

"So Kisame, as reluctant as I am to leave your embrace, I really need to get up and do my things." I told him with a smile.

"Awe, but I was enjoying this." He pouted. I gave him a hug and patted his messy bed-head.

"Trust me, Kisame, I was enjoying it too." I told him. I waited for him to remove his arms from around me before turning to Itachi. "I was enjoying sleeping with you too, Itachi."

"Likewise." Itachi told me. I laughed and launched myself over the blue shark with much difficulty, trying not to land on him. Thank Jashin he rolled to his back or I never would have been able to do it.

I hurried to the bathroom and did my thing after getting some clothes to change into. It only took me about twenty minutes to get everything done. I emerged from the steamy depths to see Deidara and Sasori sitting my bed with Itachi and Kisame, chatting quietly.

"Good morning Dei-Dei, good morning Sasori, did you sleep well?" I said sweetly. "Well, that should be directed more at Deidara. Did you get bored, Sasori?"

Sasori smirked at me as I attacked my long, wet hair with a towel. "No. I read a book while I was waiting for you all to wake up."

"Morning Alice, un. I slept great, yeah." Deidara told me.

I nodded and threw the towel back into the bathroom on the sink. "That's good." I jumped slightly when Kisame was inches from me, looking into my eyes curiously. "Can I help you?"

"Your eyes are different colors." He pointed out. "One is green and one is blue."

"Why yes they are." I told him. "They change colors too. It just depends on the weather."

Sasori got my attention when Kisame rumpled my hair and returned to the bed to sit beside Itachi. "Now the question is, did _you _sleep well?" Sasori smirked.

I returned his smirk with my own. "Why yes I did." I knew Kisame and Itachi must have told the puppeteer and the terrorist about our sleeping arrangement.

"Is anyone else up?" I asked, noticing they had left my door open.

"I think Leader-sama is." Kisame said. "I bet Hidan is the last to wake up."

I grinned. "I want to wake him up." I skipped from the room, knowing they would follow me, and went to Brett and Louis's room. Hidan was indeed still sleeping. He was taking up the entire air mattress now that Kakuzu was no longer on it. Kakuzu was walking out of the bathroom while Pein and Konan looked up from the bed when I peeked in.

I placed my finger over my mouth to tell them to keep quiet. Kakuzu smiled at my evil sneer, knowing what I was intending on doing. Pein and Konan just moved out of the room so they wouldn't get in the line of fire.

Kisame came in after me; I had asked him to be my back up and to protect me from Hidan when he struck back. He and Kakuzu moved back to allow me free access to the sleeping Jashinist.

I ran forward and leaped into the air. "Good morning Hidan!" I shouted, landing directly on top of him. He jolted awake when I collided with his stomach. I threw a quick hug on him.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" He shouted at me. He made to grab me but I was already retreating from his wrath. He jumped up and chased after me, stopping when I darted behind Kisame. "Move it fish-stick, I'm killing that little brat."

Kisame and Kakuzu were too busy laughing at Hidan to pay much attention to his threat, nor the fact that he made it around Kisame to get me. I screamed in fright and tired to run away but he grabbed onto my wrist in the nick of time.

"You're gonna fucking get it, bitch!" He growled at me. Even he was smiling. Maybe it was because he was excited about killing me. Or it was because I was laughing so hard.

He began dragging me into the room, intent on sacrificing me. I was yelling through my laughter, begging for assistance. "Help! He's going to rape me!" He pinned my arms down on the floor and straddled me.

I managed to knee him in the groin but it didn't help my situation. "Kisame, Kakuzu, get this psycho off me!" I laughed. "Someone stop him before he sacrifices me!"

"Hidan, get off her." Pein ordered. I sighed in relief, thanking Jashin that I had Pein here.

Hidan frowned at the leader but didn't argue. He released me and I scrambled away from him to hide behind Kisame again. "Thank you Pein-sama." I said with a smile. "You get your choice of breakfast today."

He just blinked his understanding. I squeezed around Kisame and bumped into Itachi who stabled me when I almost fell over.

"Sorry Itachi, I didn't mean to run into you. Thanks." I told him, getting over the little episode that just occurred in Louis and Brett's bedroom.

"Hn." He replied. I smiled again and went downstairs. I was confronted by a tackle hug from Tobi as soon as I made it down the stairs.

"Good morning Alice-chan!" He said cheerfully.

I returned the hug. "Good morning Tobi, dear." I patted his head. "The stairs aren't very comfortable so can we continue this greeting standing up?" He pulled me into a standing position with little effort.

"Thanks Tobi." I told him. "Did you and Zetsu have a nice sleep?"

"Tobi had a very nice sleep. Tobi heard yelling up stairs though." Tobi said, inquiring about the racket I made when I attacked Hidan.

"I woke Hidan up." I replied. I turned back around to search for the pierced ginger. "Pein-sama, what would you like for breakfast?"

"Anything is fine." He said dully.

I sighed. "You're no fun."

"Do you have any more of those fucking chocolate things?" Hidan questioned from the top of the stairs. He wasn't wearing a shirt when he descended the stairs, following Kakuzu and Kisame as Deidara and Sasori brought up the rear.

"Yeah, we have like a life time supply." I exaggerated. Brett and Louis were obsessed with Pop-Tarts to they bought boxes upon boxes of them every time they went to the store. "There're a bunch of other flavors too."

"Good, those were awesome, un." Deidara told me when he made it to the first floor. He patted my head. It was then that I remembered something.

I snatched Deidara's hand and examined it. That's when I saw it. Deidara's hand mouth opened. I had a fangirl moment. Quietly, I squealed happily and bounced in my spot. "This is so cool!" I exclaimed, gawking at his hand.

Deidara looked at me like I was insane. "What is, un?"

"The hand-mouth!" I told him as if it was obvious. I even held it up to show him. "These things are the coolest!" I let his hand go reluctantly. "Sorry, I just had a fangirl moment."

"I'll say." Sasori told me sarcastically.

"Oh shut up, Pinocchio." I retorted. "I can always attack you with a fangirl moment." I threatened.

He stared at me. "You wouldn't…"

I grinned. "Oh, I would. I just love Sasori no Danna!" I told him in a sing-song voice as I skipped away from him towards the kitchen.

"Is it just me or is she getting stranger?" Kakuzu asked, watching me frolic to the kitchen.

"It's not just you." Kisame said with a laugh.

I poked my head back around the doorway to the kitchen. "Get your asses in here and eat. I've got something important to tell you." I disappeared once again and began extracting the breakfast goodies from the cabinet.

I placed them all on the table and set out some plates. They all came inside the kitchen and took seats around the table except for Sasori, Zetsu, and Tobi. Zetsu preferred to stand and Tobi wouldn't eat around the others.

"What did you want to tell us, un?" Deidara asked, grabbing one of the chocolate Pop-Tarts. He, like the others were already munching on the tasty strudels.

"Kathryn is coming over today, so I want you all to behave long enough for me to explain the situation to her." I announced. "You cannot kill her or hurt her in any way or you'll have me to deal with." I glared at Hidan longer than the rest.

"Alright, alright, I'll fucking be good." Hidan said stiffly, noticing I was glaring directly at him.

I gave him a smile. "Good boy, Hidan." I told him.

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi cheered from the doorway. I told him he was before getting my phone out of my pocket. I informed the Akatsuki of where I was going and quickly left the room, dialing Kathryn's number along the way.

It only took two rings for her to answer. _"Hello there!"_

"Hey Kathryn, when are you heading over?" I asked.

_"I'm coming over a bit early actually. I should be there in like ten to fifteen minutes. Is that alright?"_ She questioned.

I nodded. "Yeah, it's fine. Honk to let me know you're here. How long are you staying over?" I hoped she could stay for a while.

_"My mom said I could stay over as long as I wanted as long as I don't cause too much trouble. She even gave me money for food."_

"I love your mom." I admitted.

_"Alice says she loves you mommy."_ Kathryn said to her mom. I heard her mom return my declaration of affection. _"You heard?"_

"Yeah I heard her." I said boredly. "I've got something to show you when you get here. So I'll see you in a bit." We said our goodbyes and I closed my phone, ending the call before I returned to the kitchen.

I snatched up one of the bags and retrieved one of the Pop-Tarts before giving the left over one to Kakuzu who thanked me quietly. I just smiled and patted his head as I went to the counter, nibbling on my breakfast.

Once I finished it, I dug around inside the medicine cabinet, searching for my pills. The Akatsuki members who weren't stuffing their faces watched me perform my imitation of a drug-addict. I had over 12 pills to take.

"Do you have an addiction?" Sasori asked in amusement when I replaced the pills on their shelf. I turned to give him a look and shut the wooden door.

"No, I don't." I explained. "I just have a lot of things wrong with me. I have anxiety pills, pain killers for my back, muscle relaxers, migraine meds, and a bunch of other shit. I'm not a pill-popper by choice." I was a walking drug store.

"Sure you aren't." Kakuzu teased.

"I'll stitch your mouth shut, George." I threatened. He just rolled his eyes in reply.

"So when is this bitch coming over?" Hidan questioned, inhaling yet another Pop-Tart.

I turned my attention to him from his stitched partner. "Her name is Kathryn, and she should be here in a few minutes."

"Is she as nuts as you are?" Kisame asked, smiling at me.

I shrugged. "I think she's worse. But that's for you guys to decide for yourselves." I jumped slightly when a horn sounded outside. "Kathryn is here." I announced, hurrying from the kitchen. "All of you guys get in the living room and wait a minute." I heard annoyed responses but I could tell they were all getting up.

I smiled at Tobi, letting him know the situation before exiting the house and greeting Kathryn on the steps. I waved bye to her mom before Kathryn hugged me. "Hey Kat, thanks for coming over."

"You bet!" She grinned. "Now let's go inside, I'm freezing." She told me.

"Before we go inside, I'm warning you to listen to me when I tell you that what you are about to see is the real deal." I warned. She just raised her eyebrow at me and pushed passed me to the door.

"Don't be so scary Alice, you'll creep someone out talking like that." She opened the door, carrying her stuff with her. I just sighed and walked in after her.

"Alice, why are there a bunch of cosplayers here?" She turned to me with a look of disapproval. "Did you rob a convention? Your obsession has gone too far, Alice."

"Remember the scary warning I just gave you? Yeah, it applies to them." I reminded her. She looked back over the Akatsuki before looking back at me and laughed.

"Alice, stop fooling around, how gullible do you think I am?" She laughed.

"Kathryn you know for a fact I have never lied to you, why would I start now?" I said shortly. All of the Akatsuki just watched us, waiting to see what we'd do.

"Alice, it defies the laws of nature, this is impossible." She stated, suddenly very serious. "If you insist that they are real, show me proof."

"You want proof?" I repeated. I dipped my head when she nodded. "Well, other than the fact that Sasori is a puppet, I have one more piece of proof that I think you'll believe even more." She crossed her arms and watched me after throwing Sasori a look.

I walked over to Deidara. "Deidara, may I see your hand please?"

"Why, un?" He asked, giving me his hand anyways.

I held it up to Kathryn, showing her the hand-mouth. Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped slightly when it opened, revealing teeth and a tongue. "There is your proof, Kathryn." I said firmly.

* * *

_Sort of a cliffy_

_And now Kathryn is in the mix. The chaos has only just begun._

_Review! It helps me know I'm not alone in this world!;]  
_


	7. Chapter 7

_Alright guys, this one is kinda sort... I guess?_

_But because it's short and a holiday, I'll give you two chapters today. Aren't I nice._

_Happy New Year by the way._

_I don't own Naruto, if I did, ah, how wonderful my world would be:D  
_

* * *

"Oh my god." Kathryn whispered, her eyes widening. I released Deidara with a word of thanks and a smile. I was thrown aside into Kisame who caught me with wide eyes as Kathryn linebacker tackled Deidara in her attempt to smother him with affection.

"Kathryn!" I shouted, hearing Deidara gasp with shock when she collided into him.

"What the hell, un?" He demanded, trying to keep his balance so he didn't fall over. "Someone get her off me, yeah!"

I laughed and pulled on Kathryn. "Kathryn, let the terrorist go. You can't attack people like that." I pulled on her again.

"No! He's mine!" She proclaimed, latching on tighter to the blond. "My artist!"

"Kathryn! Release the murder!" I ordered, pointing at the ground. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled. "Let go of Deidara!" I looked towards Kisame and Kakuzu who were both chuckling at the display. "One of you criminals help me out here!"

Kakuzu wrapped a powerful stitched arm around Kathryn's waist after making me move and ripped her off Deidara. She struggled in his grip, fighting to get back to Deidara who was hiding behind me now that Kathryn was no longer attacking him.

I hit Kathryn in the head lightly with a pillow. "Behave, Kathryn." I told her. She stopped fighting the miser and hung limply in his arm, pouting.

"Why did the Jew rip me off?" She mumbled. "I was just hugging him."

I sighed and face-palmed. "You're outrageous. You can't attack Deidara like that. And he's not a Jew, don't be judgmental or prejudiced." I jerked my thumb over my shoulder at Deidara who crouched behind me. "Apologize to him."

Kathryn looked up at Deidara. "I'm very sorry, Mr. Cutie-pants." I rolled my eyes and patted Deidara's hand which was on my shoulder.

"It's alright; she won't attack you for a little while." I told him reassuringly, though it didn't help very much. "You can put her down now, Kakuzu. Thank you."

Kakuzu released Kathryn and she plopped on the couch. "How did this happen? How did they get here?"

"They were my cats." I told her, shrugging. "They changed back into their original forms when I tried to give them a bath."

"So wait, it's like one of those fan fictions?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. I nodded. "That's so awesome."

"Indeed." I agreed dully. I joined her on the couch. The others who had gotten up when she attacked also sat down, feeling they were now safe from her wrath.

She crossed her arms. "So, did you use hot water on them?" She questioned.

"Yeah, and they exploded in my bathroom in all their naked glory." I clarified. She laughed.

"So wait, you saw them naked!" She announced, pointing accusingly at me.

I sighed. "I did indeed see them naked, but as soon as I realized they weren't cats anymore, I snatched Konan and ran out of the bathroom, I saw nothing below the waist." I told her firmly. I had accidentally seen… someone below the waist but that was only for me to know.

Her eyes had fallen on Konan who was sitting beside Pein on the other couch. "Awe, they're so cute together!" She exclaimed, pointing at the pair.

I think only Kathryn and I saw Konan's blush. Pein stiffened slightly and they both looked away from each other but said nothing.

Kathryn turned back to me. "So, I guess you and Brett would have been in the right if we named the kittens after the Akatsuki." She pointed out. Then she paused. Her gaze drifted to Hidan. "OMG! I named him Shiny!"

I laughed, as did Tobi, Deidara, Kakuzu, and Kisame. Sasori chuckled and Itachi smirked with Pein and Konan. "Yeah, I wonder how pissed he was when you named him that."

"Really fucking pissed!" Hidan informed me. "What kind of fucking name is Shiny?"

"It's a damn good one for someone that wears too much hair gel!" She retorted.

I smiled. "Alright Kathryn, leave the zealot alone. You named Sasori Loofa." She giggled when I reminded her.

"Normally I'd care, but I don't know what a Loofa is, therefore I don't." Sasori told me from his spot on the computer chair.

"It's a sponge you use to wash yourself." I explained. I saw his eye twitch at that. Deidara who was leaning against the wall beside him started laughing loudly.

"Shut up, _Blondie_." Sasori growled, glaring at Deidara.

"Sorry Danna, but that was funny, un." Deidara chuckled.

Kathryn squealed and clutched my arm. "He's so adorable! He says un and calls Sasori Danna and everything!" She shook me roughly to show how excited she was.

I rolled my eyes at her antics. "Yes Kathryn, Deidara is very adorable. So are the others." I patted Itachi's knee for emphasis. Since he was sitting beside me, it was very easy for me to reach. He just gave me a raised eyebrow.

Kathryn looked around me to stare down Itachi. She grinned after a minute. "He's sexy too." She then wrapped her arms around one of Kisame's massive ones. "Kisame is sexy as well." I saw Kisame give me a terrified look, searching for rescue.

"Kathryn, don't attack people. We just went over this." I said with a sigh. "Let Kisame go. If you want a hug, just ask."

Kathryn pouted and squeezed Kisame's arm once more before releasing him. "Yes mommy." She looked at Kisame innocently. "I am sorry Kisame."

Kisame smirked at her. "It's alright, you just caught me off guard."

Kathryn's eyes landed on her next victim. I noticed instantly that she was about to attack. She was glaring across the room at a certain good boy with an orange mask who was standing dangerously close to something breakable. My eyes widened.

"Kisame, grab her!" I shouted, reaching for Kathryn myself.

I grabbed enough of her shirt in time to jerk her back onto the couch. "Tobi, run away!" I barked. Kisame pinned her against the back of the couch with one powerful arm as we both struggled to protect the poor kid.

Tobi jumped and scurried behind Pein, assuming the leader of the Akatsuki would save him. I was pretty sure Kathryn wasn't suicidal so I assumed she wouldn't attack the pierced man. However, I wasn't sure and I sure as hell wasn't going to risk it.

"Kathryn, if you don't behave I'm going to let Hidan do whatever he wants to you." I threatened, knowing full well she wouldn't challenge me or the Jashinist.

"Don't throw me to the sharks!" Kathryn yelped, looking at me in terror. Then she paused, looked to Kisame and grinned. "On second thought, throw me to the shark." She pointed at Kisame. "Preferably this shark."

Kisame laughed, as did a few of the others.

"You're right Alice, she is crazier than you." Sasori told me, looking at Kathryn.

Kathryn scoffed at that. "You have no idea." She jerked her thumb towards me. "You haven't seen any of her crazy side yet. If you had, you'd be dead." She then giggled. "Though, I can be worse than her. It just depends on the situation at hand."

"She seems to be a lot fucking saner than you." Hidan pointed out.

Kathryn raised her eyebrow. "Oh, and this is coming from the psycho-maniac-religious-freak-with-a-killing-problem?"

Hidan's eyes narrowed from his spot on the floor beside the recliner that Kakuzu was occupying. Kakuzu was laughing at his partner, enjoying Kathryn's statement. I had to laugh to, her name was spot on.

"Okay, okay, that's enough picking on Hidan. He was already tortured this morning." I said with a giggle, trying to sooth Kathryn who was close to death laughing at Hidan's glare.

Kathryn stopped laughing instantly. "What happened to him?"

"Alice fucking woke me up by jumping on top of me." Hidan growled towards me angrily. His scowl was reinforced at the memory of my wakeup call.

"Wait, where did they all sleep?" Kathryn asked. "Surely they didn't all sleep in your room."

"Don't call me Surely." I told her. "And no, they didn't. Hidan and Kakuzu slept on an air mattress in Louis and Brett's room while Konan and Pein slept in the bed. Deidara and Sasori shared the spare room, Kisame and Itachi stayed in my room, and Tobi and Zetsu slept down here on the couch-beds."

She smirked. "So Kisame and Itachi slept with you, huh?" She looked towards Deidara and Sasori. "And tonight, I get Deidara and Sasori. I have to admit I like this set up."

"And I ask that we alternate routinely so no one gets raped." Sasori said calmly from his spot. Kathryn pouted at that.

"I am disinclined to consent to your request, Sasori." I told him. "Pein and Konan get a bed because they are the leaders. Hidan and Kakuzu have to room with them because I'm hoping Pein will make Hidan behave. Zetsu and Tobi get down here because they don't have partners to pair up with." I shrug. "That leaves you and Deidara to switch with Itachi and Kisame."

"Either way, someone will get raped." Kathryn concluded.

"Don't worry Sasori; I give you permission to restrain her with your puppet jutsu or whatever. That, and if she does rape you, I'll allow Hidan and the victim to enforce her punishment." I assured him, looking at Kathryn pointedly.

She looked at me with a pouting face. "You would allow that?"

"Why yes, yes I would." I nodded. "Of course said punishment would have to be within reason and approved by me."

Everyone in the room jumped slightly when my phone vibrated on the coffee table, breaking the silence that ensued after my threat to Kathryn. I quickly snatched it up and looked to see who the caller was. My eyes widened slightly when I saw it was Louis.

"Oh shit." I said in shock.

Kathryn looked over my shoulder. "Oh you are so dead." She told me, reinforcing my horror. She helped me hush everyone before I flipped open the cell.

"Hello?" I asked the caller.

"_Hey Alice, how are you?_" Louis asked.

I whimpered silently at Kathryn, begging for rescue. "I'm good, how are you?"

"_I'm alright, we got here about an hour ago._" Louis informed me. "_Where are you?_"

"I'm downstairs with Kathryn." I told him.

I heard Brett say something cheerfully to him. "_Tell her I said hey. Brett wants you to get on Skype with us._" He said in a tone which was closer to ordering me to go up stairs and get on Skype with them.

I died a little on the inside. "Louis says hi Kathryn. He wants us to go and get on Skype with him." Her eyes widened in shock and her jaw dropped.

"_Hurry up, I miss your face._" Louis pretty much growled into the phone.

"Okay, hold on a second." I told him. I muted my phone and looked at everyone. "Okay, everyone go into my room and be as silent as humanly possible."

"What's going on?" Itachi asked, looking at me with concern as he stood up.

I sighed. "I'm about to tell Louis and Brett you're here." I shooed them all up stairs, scurrying up after them with Kathryn on my tail. "It'll be alright, but I need to prepare them."

"Why tell them?" Pein asked as they entered my room and took their seats around the room. I sat at my laptop and quickly logged in.

I paused. "Louis is like a fucking ninja dog. No matter how hard I try to leave no trace of your existence, he'll figure it out and he'll torture me until I tell him the truth. Trust me, he's done it before." Kathryn shuddered at the memory and nodded to confirm my reasoning.

The ones listening raised their eyebrows in concern but said nothing as I turned the mute off my phone and addressed Louis again. "Okay, I'm on Skype, call me."

He told me he would as I made sure the only people visible in the web camera were me and Kathryn. I would spring it on the gradually.

I swatted Hidan away when he whispered something into Kathryn's ear. Her eyes lit up and she giggled, nodding at him and shooing him away with me. I ignored this and focused on the incoming Skype call.

Louis and Brett's faces popped up on the screen and I shut my cell phone. I almost melted. I didn't realize how much I missed my two gay friends until I saw their faces. Brett was grinning madly and waving at me. I waved back with a small smile of my own.

"Hi Alice, hi Kathryn, I see you!" Brett called. He was sitting on Louis's lap who was resting his chin on Brett's shoulder, looking at us boredly.

"Hi Brett, hi Louis, we see you too!" I said in a slightly off voice.

Brett noticed. He frowned instantly. "What's wrong Alice, you seem sad."

"She misses you!" Kathryn saved me.

Louis gave me his signature smirk. "We'll have reunion sex when we get back." Hidan snorted at this, earning him a middle finger from just outside of the camera angle.

I frowned at this. "No thanks Louis." He just pouted. My heart skipped a beat when I noticed Hidan's snort of laughter was picked up on the microphone.

"Alice, I wanna see one of the kitties!" Brett told me. "Get one."

"I see you let them out of your room." Louis said in a scolding tone. He then paused and frowned. I almost died, thinking he heard Hidan.

"Alice…" He began. Kathryn and I both exchanged a horrified glance. "Why are all of the things I ordered you to store away strewn about your room?" He asked threateningly.

I exhaled loudly and hit my head on the computer desk in relief. That was short lived because just then, Kathryn grabbed the laptop and span around in the computer chair, showing the Akatsuki in all of their glory, sitting around my room.

"Alice has hot guys!" Kathryn cheered. I punched Kathryn in the back of her head and snatched the laptop, making it face me once more, hoping to safe myself from utter destruction. It was a wasted effort. The damage was done and Louis looked livid.

* * *

_Two things I wanna ask._

_1. Is there anything you'd guys like to see in this fanfic? I'll take your ideas into consideration and add them in. Of course you'll be given some credit too._

_2. Anything you _**don't**_ want to see? Just let me know._

_And I've been trying to decide whether or not I want to start another fanfic. Mind you, it won't be sarcastic and funny like this one, but it'll be intense and badass because stuff like that is one of my strong points. Anyways let me know if you'd be semi interested because I can always do it. I've got A.P. homework to do, but I usually procrastinate so I can certainly work on it._

_Happy new year again guys. And thanks for all the hit, reviews, alerts, and favs. I appreciate it._

_Now I'm going to take my painkillers and pass out! Good night!  
_


	8. Chapter 8

_I kind of think this chapter is a little lame, but alas, I'm biased._

_Anyways, I DO own three dogs, but I DON'T own the Akatsuki.  
_

* * *

"Alice." He growled. "What the fuck is going on there?"

I kicked Kathryn's ass as she sprawled out on the ground. "God damn it Kathryn!" I snapped. "You're such a fucking dumbass." I hope she freaking dies there.

"I'd like a fucking answer." Louis's voice snarled, bringing me back to the situation at hand. Brett was no longer on Louis's lap. He was standing beside him, looking slightly shocked and afraid.

"Louis, I can explain." I said quickly. "You know the cats we got? Yeah, the cats were actually the Akatsuki!" I winced at his expression; I could see the anger and hostility in his eyes. Louis was really freaking scary when he was mad.

"Do you honestly expect me to believe that?" He demanded. "Brett, get me the keys, I've got a teenager to kill." He went to stand.

I yelped. "Louis I'm sorry! I've got proof to make you believe it!" I told him hurriedly. "Don't kill me. I don't want you to get into trouble for murder."

"I won't get caught." He hissed. "I haven't yet." Somehow, when he says that, I wholly believe him. He is the only person that I know personally who _would_ and _could_ commit murder and get away with it.

… With the exception of the Akatsuki.

Brett grabbed Louis. "Babe, wait, just calm down and hear her out." Brett looked to me in fear. "Alice, please show him proof before he kills you."

I nodded and grabbed Kathryn by her hair and pulled her up to my level. She was still whining about the blow to the back of her head and the one to her ass. "You, get me Deidara's hand right now." She shivered at my threat. "Or I will give you something else to whine about."

She got up instantly and grabbed Deidara. She pulled him over to me and pushed him into my reach.

I snatched Deidara and pulled him into Louis's view. "Louis, Brett, meet Deidara. Deidara meet Louis and Brett." I noticed Deidara looked kind of nervous about being put on the spot so suddenly. Louis glared at him while Brett drooled at his hotness.

I held up Deidara's hand and showed Louis and Brett the hand-mouth. Brett squealed and jumped up and down while Louis's angry face turned into confusion. Obviously they saw the goods so I released Deidara.

"Thank you Deidara." I said with a slightly relieved sigh. "There, now you have your proof." I said looking mostly at Louis as Brett threw a fan girl tantrum.

"How many of them are there?" Louis questioned. I grabbed the laptop and twisted it around so he could see the others.

"All of them are here." I sighed. "All ten criminals and murderers are present."

I set the laptop up so he could see all of the occupants, including myself. It took him a minute to respond. "How did this happen?"

"I went to give the cats a bath because they stunk really badly and then when they were hit with the water they returned to their true forms." I explained. "And here they are."

"So it's like one of those crazy fan fictions?" Brett demanded. He was ogling at the hot guys. I didn't blame him.

"Yeah." I agreed. "Exactly like one of those crazy fan fictions."

Louis frowned. "Where are they sleeping?" I knew he would be pissed about someone sleeping in his room.

"They slept in my room, the living room, and the spare bedroom." I told him. "I had to sleep in your bed last night to try and keep everyone off the floor."

Brett swatted Louis. "They can sleep in our bed if they need to Alice." Brett told me. He was so much more understanding. "This is an exception."

"Fine, they can use our bed." Louis grumbled. "But if I find out they slept with _you_, there won't be enough of them left to return to their world."

I took his threat seriously, but Hidan sure didn't. He laughed. "Ha, I'd love to see you try it!" I face palmed.

"Hidan, you dumbass, don't irritate him." I growled.

Louis just stared at the zealot. "Bring your immortal ass over here and I'll prove to you that immortality is just a myth invented by some bitch that was too afraid to die."

Hidan froze. "What did you say?"

"I don't believe I stuttered, dick." Louis snarled.

Kakuzu was currently laughing while I was waiting for Louis to jump through the computer and kick Hidan's ass. All Hidan needed was a scolding to get him to calm down. Louis had to be knocked out before you could get him to stop.

"This fucker wants to die." Hidan told me.

I looked at him. "Shut up, before I kill you myself." I gestured at Louis in the screen. "I'm more afraid of him than I am of you."

Kathryn nodded. "Yeah, Louis is scary." She patted Hidan. "You wouldn't stand a chance, Shiny."

At that, Louis laughed, breaking his serious, murderous glare and erupting with laughter. "I fucking forgot you named him Shiny." He laughed again. "That poor thing!"

"Is he bipolar?" Pein asked in a concerned tone.

I nodded. "And a whole lot of other things too, Pein-sama."

Louis stopped laughing and looked at me. "We named Sasori Loofa didn't we?"

"And we named Kakuzu George, and Pein Ginger." I added. "And we named Kisame Bruce." Brett giggled and Louis snorted again.

Brett looked in Konan's direction. "Awe, Konan's cat name fit her perfectly. She's adorable as a human too!"

"They must have been pissed getting those fucking names." Louis chuckled, sitting back down in the chair again.

"Yeah, they were." I nodded. "Though, I think Tobi liked his name."

"Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi cheered, hugging me from behind.

Did I mention Louis is extremely possessive over me and Brett? Well he is.

"Oi, good boy, get your hands off her or you'll be an armless boy." He promised.

"Louis, knock it off." I said firmly. "He doesn't mean anything by it. It's just a hug. While you're threatening to kill people, why don't you kill Adam? He put this giant ass bruise on my wrist yesterday." I held it up to show him.

"What?" Louis growled. Even Brett looked pissed.

I jerked my thumb towards Itachi and Kisame. "If it wasn't for those two, or rather, all of the Akatsuki, he probably would have kidnapped me."

I could tell I just ruined Louis's laughing mood. But I wanted to defend Tobi/Madara so it was worth it.

"Where did you see him?" Kathryn asked. "Why wasn't I told about this?"

I sighed. "Yesterday at the mall when I was getting our new house buddies clothes and whatnot. He attacked me. The only reason I'm still alive is because Kisame and Itachi came to my aid." Kathryn just frowned.

"He's going to get a very angry call from me later." Louis said darkly. He looked at Kathryn. "How long are you staying there?"

"Probably a while." Kathryn told him with a shrug.

He nodded. "Good. Make sure she stays abstinent while we're gone."

I glared at Louis before face palmed. Kisame snorted with laughter at my expense.

"That's unnecessary, Louis." I said flatly. "Besides, I think Kathryn is the one you should worry about." He nodded, considering what I said.

"How come Alice gets to be in a house full of hot guys?" Brett pouted. "It's like heaven."

Louis rolled his eyes before his hand disappeared from the camera angle as he groped Brett. Brett jumped in shock before grinning at Louis suggestively.

"Okay, no sex on camera." I scolded. "Both of you behave."

Brett stuck his tongue out at me. "Meany pants."

"How old are you Brett?" Louis grumbled.

"Alice, how can they see us?" Itachi asked from beside me.

I pointed to the tiny little camera lens on the laptop. "There's a little camera in there that's filming what we're doing and playing it on their computer where they are." I saw him nod in slight understanding.

"He's so cute!" Brett squealed before looking over his shoulder. "Shit, my mom is calling for us. She wants to take us out for lunch."

Louis dipped his head and backed away from the desk to let Brett off his lap. "I guess we'll talk to you later, Alice. We're going out to lunch with Brett's family." Brett kissed his camera, saying goodbye as Louis grabbed his coat and left the room.

Their picture went black before I closed my laptop. "Okay, now it's time for punishment." I looked around at the occupants of my room.

"Punishment?" Hidan repeated. "What the fuck did we do?"

"Oh no, not you guys." I said with a smile. I turned my gaze to Kathryn and my smile faded. "Kathryn is going to be the one to suffer."

Kathryn yelped and sprang to her feet, wrenching my door open in the same second before sprinting out of my room. I gave chase, tearing after her with the intention of murder.

Kathryn fell down the stairs in her haste to get away from me. I took my time on the stairs; my Climacophobia prevented me from going down the stairs any faster than a sloth would. She got up as I reached the middle and ran from my sight.

I could hear the others following after us, some laughing, others questioning our sanity. As soon as I made it to the last step, I broke out into a run, leaping over the coffee table to attack Kathryn who was darting into the laundry room.

She screamed when I rounded the corner and burst into the room. She threw open the back door and escaped to the outside. I went after her, leading the Akatsuki with me.

She was yelling for help, begging the criminals for assistance. I ignored this and continued after her. Now, Kathryn is like a foot taller than me, and she's all leg so she had an advantage over me. However, I'm twice as strong and meaner. Needless to say, we're evenly matched when it comes to running around. Once I got a hold of her though, she couldn't do a damn thing to fight back.

I had cornered her in our "backyard" and was closing in for the kill when two very strong arms wrapped around my waist and lifted me off the ground. Hidan had betrayed me. He was laughing as I struggled against him while he began lugging me back towards the house.

"Hidan I love you!" Kathryn told him from her cowering spot against the fence.

I kicked Hidan in the fork of his legs in my attempt to fight him off. I succeeded in getting out of his grip and made to run after Kathryn again who screamed. That's when Kakuzu decided to betray me too. He threw me over his shoulder easily and carried me towards the patio.

"What the hell! I fucking fed you guys! I've fucking seen you naked! Tobi, I'll give you candy if you get him off!" I shouted, searching for support.

"Tobi is a good boy so Tobi will help Alice-chan for candy!" He cheered; jumping on Kakuzu, scrambling up his back and attempting to strangle him. Hidan was still swearing at me under his breath as Tobi attacked his partner.

"Ha! Freedom!" I yelled when Kakuzu dropped me to get at Tobi. "Now death to Kathryn!" I declared, sprinting at her again.

I heard footsteps falling behind me so I looked around to see what was going on and I saw Deidara chasing me. Because he was a ninja, he easily caught up with me and tackled me to the ground. That jerk.

"Run Kathryn, un!" Deidara warned her, pinning me to the ground.

"Itachi and Kisame where in hell are you when I need you?" I shouted, wondering why everyone decided to betray me.

I heard Kisame laughing from where he was. I knew Itachi wasn't going to join in the festivities because he was too cool for this kind of stuff, but I assumed Kisame would. That fishy needs to get his ass in the game and help me out.

"Sasori, control your brat!" I hollered. I saw Kathryn trying to run past me so I grabbed her ankle, bringing her to the ground with me. She met the dying grass with a dull thud and started laughing and yelling in fear.

I kicked Deidara off long enough to drag myself towards her, still having a death grip on her ankle. She began kicking, trying to break my grip.

"You're not getting away!" I growled at her, fighting Deidara as he grabbed my ankles and tried to pull me away from her. Hidan had recovered and was grabbing Kathryn's hands to pull her away from me.

I latched onto her other ankle and fought against Hidan, not gaining any ground against the ninja Jashinist. "This is totally not fair. All I have is Tobi."

As if I willed it, Tobi leapt over me and Kathryn and tackled Deidara to the ground, knocking his grip off me. I took this chance and lunged at Kathryn, crushing her beneath me. "Ah ha, now she is mine!" I started tickling her. She flipped out.

It didn't take long for Deidara to get away from Tobi and return to Kathryn. He easily lifted me off her. I didn't fight him since I felt I had tortured her enough for now. Once I was off her, Kathryn scrambled away from me to hide behind Hidan, peeking out from around his arm to see if I was going to attack again.

I laughed as I looked around her. Pein, Itachi, Zetsu, Konan, Sasori, and now Kakuzu were sitting on the patio watching us as if this was some sort of moderately interesting TV show. Kisame leaned against the house, chuckling about our little battle.

I felt Deidara let me go before Tobi attacked me with a hug. I returned it. "Tobi, you are a very good boy for helping me out in my time of need." I looked to the other Akatsuki. "The rest of you suck."

"They just like me better." Kathryn said from behind Hidan. She cowered back in her place at my death glare. Hidan laughed at her actions and patted her head.

I huffed and entwined my arm with Tobi's, heading back towards the house. Pein looked up at me as we approached the patio.

"Shouldn't that episode draw attention to us?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No, stuff like this happens all the time. Our neighbors actually get concerned when they don't hear screaming coming from the house and the yard. We have a privacy fence too so people can't see inside the yard unless they're upstairs. Even then, college students live in the condo beside us and they're never home."

He looked slightly concerned for my wellbeing but said nothing else, shrugging off his worries. I smiled at him and Konan before tugging Tobi inside. "Come one Tobi, we shall get you your candy."

"Candy!" Tobi cheered.

Kathryn led in the rest of the troops a few minutes later, informing me that she had bruises on her legs, ass, and head from my attacks. I smirked in victory and didn't apologize as I put away Tobi's candy.

"Tobi is now my new best friend." I announced to the people in my living room. "The rest of you have just been demoted to cats again. I will now refer to you as your cat names until you make it up to me." I looked to Kathryn. "And you will be Bitch-face."

She pouted, knowing full well that I meant serious business with my small threat. "I'm sorry, do you still love me?"

"Not as much at the moment." I told her with a face of faux seriousness.

Hidan rubbed himself. "You've got one hell of a fucking kick." He shook his head.

"Thank you Shiny." I said with a bob of my head. He clicked his tongue in annoyance at his kitten name.

"Correction, I will call Pein, Konan, and Zetsu by their actual names because I didn't expect them to help me. They are too mature for that." I said, holding up my forefinger.

Itachi raised his eyebrow questioningly at me.

"Hey man, you slept in my bed." I told him, holding up my hands in the air. "As a human..." I added, remembering Pein and Konan did when they were cats.

Pein addressed me calmly. "May we train in the fenced in yard?"

I nodded. "Yeah, just don't use any ninjutsu or genjutsu. I'm pretty sure stuff like that would be noticeable, even with the huge-ass fence."

He dipped his head in understanding.

I was suddenly pulled into a back breaking hug. I looked around at my attacker in shock to see Kisame hugging me tightly. "Bruce, why are you trying to suffocate me?"

"This is me apologizing for not helping you." Kisame told me. "At least I didn't turn against you."

I considered this. "Yes, but you still didn't help when I called for you." I turned to look in his face when he slackened his grip. I regretted that. He had his pouting face going full blast. I melted instantly.

I had lived my life thinking there was only one person in this world who can melt me with a pouting face and that was Brett. However, Kisame proved me wrong. There was nothing I could do against his adorable blueness.

"Okay I forgive you! Stop pouting!" I said quickly, hugging him.

He grinned in victory when I released him. He raised his eyebrows at Kathryn's shocked, unbelieving face. She looked at me, as if I had just kicked a puppy.

"How did you do that?" She demanded, looking at Kisame.

Kisame frowned. "What do you mean?"

She pointed at me. "How did you make her forgive you?" She glared at him. "Change her back to normal now!"

He looked scared. "I just made a sad face at her and she forgave me." Kisame told her.

"Who are you and what have you done with my Alice?" She growled. "Pouty faces don't work on Alice. Brett is the only one who can do that."

I gestured at Kisame. "His face is a lethal weapon. That thing could melt a fucking iceberg." He grinned at her from over my head. She "Oh"ed and nodded

"I just found leverage against Alice!" Kathryn cheered, punching the air. "From now on, I'm going to get Kisame to make you do what I want."

I shook my head. "Not if I know you're pulling the strings."

Kathryn looked at Itachi. "I wonder how well your pouting face would do against the heartless woman we know as Alice."

"Hn." Itachi replied, giving me a small glance from the corner of his eye. I was sitting in between him and Kisame on one of the long couches. Pein, Konan, Kathryn, and Kakuzu occupied the other. Deidara ruled the recliner while Hidan took up the last spot on our couch. Tobi sat on a beanbag chair in the corner near Sasori who sat on the computer chair again. Zetsu stood in the doorway, completely content with his spot.

Kathryn was plopped on the edge of her couch in between Hidan and Kakuzu. Her eyes however were lingering on the blond bombshell who was sitting incorrectly in the recliner.

"So what do we do now?" Kathryn asked. "I'm bored."

Sasori looked at her. "So think of a way to entertain yourself."

I sighed and rolled my eyes when she instantly grinned. "You just opened the gates to hell." I closed my eyes and leaned against the back of the couch. "Wait for it."

"QUICK! HIDAN PICK EITHER TRUTH OR DARE!" Kathryn shouted.

Hidan looked shocked at being addressed at such a loud volume within such a short distance. "What?"

"I said truth or dare, pick one." She repeated.

Hidan looked at her in confusion. "Dare?" He said hesitantly.

"I dare you to second base Alice!" Kathryn barked, pointing at me.

I frowned. "You touch my boob your arm comes off." He looked reluctant after my threat. Kathryn looked at me with shake of her head.

"Now Alice, you can't make him back out of a dare." She shook her head. "It's not very nice. And it certainly isn't fair."

"You just so happened to pick _me_, for him to second base, _again_." I growled. "Give him a new dare."

"What the fuck are you guys talking about?" Hidan questioned.

"It's a game. You either dare someone to do something or you ask them a question and they have to tell you the truth. That's how you play." Kathryn explained. "So, since Alice is being a party pooper, I have to think up a new dare."

"Alright…" Hidan said in a confused tone.

Kathryn looked up. "Alright, I dare you to kiss Kakuzu." Kakuzu hit Kathryn lightly in the back of her head. She whimpered and cowered away from him.

"I'd rather lose my arm." Hidan stated seriously. He moved with the speed of the ninja he is, grabbed my boob and moved to a spot on the other side of the room within the same second.

I glared after him and made to get up and get a knife. Kisame held me down, informing me that I wasn't being nice and asking me to relax. I sighed at him and frowned at Hidan.

"It's your turn Hidan." Kathryn informed him.

Hidan gave me an apologetic smile from where he sat and searched the room for a victim. "Uh, alright. Zetsu: truth or dare?"

Zetsu grinned a grin I didn't know he could grin. "**Dare.**"

"I dare you to eat one of those veggie things." Hidan stated.

Kathryn and I gasped. "You're going to make him eat his own kind?"

"**I accept.**" Zetsu said evilly. "**Bring it on.**"

Kathryn giggled and dashed into the kitchen before returning with plate with four veggie nuggets for Zetsu. "Here you are, Zetsu." Zetsu grabbed all four of them and swallowed them easily. He paused for a second after eating them.

"These aren't bad. **They taste good.**" Zetsu announced. Kathryn and I laughed at him.

"It's your turn." I told him.

Zetsu looked around the room before his eyes fell on Deidara. "Truth or dare?" He questioned. I wondered what he would make Deidara do. Hopefully there wouldn't be any cannibalism going on.

Deidara sighed. "I'm going to break the dare streak and go with truth, hmm."

Zetsu smirked. "Why do you always add 'un', 'yeah', or 'hmm' to the end of your sentences? **That's a stupid question.**"

Deidara shrugged. "That's just how I talk, yeah."

"It's so cute!" Kathryn exclaimed, hugging Deidara from behind since she was standing behind him. He jumped at first but didn't fight her off.

"Truth or dare, Danna, un." Deidara said, looking over his shoulder at Sasori.

"Truth." Sasori said boredly.

"Do you ever regret turning yourself into a puppet?" Deidara asked after a moment of thought. Kathryn praised him, saying it was a good question.

"No, I don't." Sasori told him. "I never have." Sasori looked at Kakuzu. "Truth or dare, Kakuzu."

"I'll go with truth." Kakuzu replied.

Sasori crossed his arms. "Alright, if you could pick one profession other than one you already posses, what would you pick?"

Kakuzu raised his eyebrows for a moment in thought before shrugging. "A heart surgeon." He said as if it was the only other option.

"I'd so come to you if I needed heart surgery." I told him. He smirked at me.

"Hidan, I'm throwing truth or dare at you again." Kakuzu said.

Hidan grinned. "Bring on the dare, Kakuzu I'm not fucking scared."

"I dare you to play the rest of the game without a swearing a single time." Kakuzu challenged. "Every cuss word you say will be one day of servitude."

"That sounds dirty." Kathryn whispered loudly to me. Kisame and Deidara roared with laughter. I grinned at her.

Hidan glared at Kakuzu. "Fine, I fucking accept."

"That's one day." I said. Hidan covered his mouth as if shocked it would say fuck.

Kakuzu laughed and urged Hidan to keep the game moving. Hidan turned to me. "Alice, truth or dare?"

I crossed my arms and smirked at him. "Surprise me."

He looked confused at my answer before grinning. "Are you a virgin?"

"No." I answered truthfully. "I raped Sasuke a day before you guys moved in." I saw Itachi's jaw drop and I had to laugh. "Ha, I'm just kidding about the raping bit. But no, technically I'm not a virgin."

"What the fuck do you mean technically?" Hidan demanded.

"That's two." Kathryn chimed. Hidan punched himself in the leg.

I closed my eyes. "You remember jerk-face from the mall? Yeah, let's just say he forcibly changed my sexual status _after_ he broke my jaw and _before_ I broke up with him."

Kathryn frowned and looked at me with concern, making sure I wasn't getting upset. I shrugged at her and she nodded.

"So he forced you?" Kisame asked, looking slightly angry about this. I have to admit, that both shocked me and made me slightly happy.

I nodded. "Yeah." I noticed the atmosphere in the room had changed. "I'm over it. I'm not like psychologically scarred from it or anything. Really guys, I'm not all that touchy about it anymore. Get rid of the awkward silence."

"It's your turn, Alice." Itachi reminded me.

I smiled and looked to Kathryn. "Kathryn, truth or dare?"

"Dare bitch!" She snapped, giving me a fearless sneer.

I grinned evilly and that wiped the look right off her face. "I dare you to kiss Deidara."

"I am now even more terrified of you than I already was." She pouted. She looked at Deidara from where he was below her now that she sat on the arm of the chair. He looked up at her with a smug smile on his face.

She kissed him for a moment before straightening up and looking at me. "Now I'm not afraid of you because that was totally worth it." Kisame and Hidan roared with laughter.

I laughed. "I knew you'd enjoy it." She grinned at me and gestured with her eyes to Konan and Pein. I smirked and nodded, telling her to go for it.

"Pein!" She shouted. Pein looked shocked at being picked at all and at such a loud volume. Obviously he doesn't know Kathryn.

"Yes?" He wondered. Pein and Konan clearly didn't know they were included.

"Truth or dare!" Kathryn stated. "You and Konan are playing this game whether you like it or not." I laughed at Pein's eye twitch.

"Dare?" Pein said in his monotone.

Kathryn grinned. "I dare you to kiss Konan."

Konan blushed and looked to Pein who frowned. "Are you serious?"

"Dead serious. Now do it." Kathryn ordered.

Pein rolled his eyes and sighed before quickly pecking Konan on the lips. Her blush increased but Kathryn and I were the only ones who noticed, being the only ones interested in the dare. The others had occupied themselves by looking around awkwardly.

"Truth or dare, Konan." Pein said calmly.

"Truth." Konan said with slight hesitance.

"Tell us one embarrassing thing nobody knows about you." Pein said looking at her with his strange ringed eyes.

Konan made an embarrassed face. "Uh, I'm don't know. When I'm sitting around at base, sometimes I nibble on paper to pass the time."

I laughed. "That explains why you're so good at your jutsu." I couldn't judge, I eat paper when I'm bored too.

Konan turned to Itachi. "Truth or dare, Itachi."

"Dare." He said boredly.

"I dare you to kiss Alice." Konan challenged. She smiled victoriously at me.

I slapped my forehead while Itachi just raised his eyebrow at her questioningly. "Fine." He said shortly before turning to me.

It was a short, gentle kiss, but it was amazing all the same. Plus, Itachi was a natural, just like he is at everything. I just smirked at him when he pulled away from me, smirking with me.

"You're good." I complimented. "I'm impressed." Kisame snickered.

"Thank you." He replied stoically. He looked at Kisame. "Kisame."

Kisame grinned his sharped-toothed grin. "Dare."

Itachi paused for a moment in thought. "I dare you to try to steal some of Tobi's candy."

Kisame rolled his eyes and looked towards the masked member. Tobi was oblivious to the dare as he snuck a piece of chocolate beneath his mask.

Kisame got up from the couch and approached Tobi. He leaned over like he was picking something up before snatching away a few pieces and scurrying back to his seat. Tobi glared after him and leapt up in the air.

He attacked Kisame from behind with a loud battle cry. Kisame went to the floor as Tobi punched and kicked every inch of him he could reach. Kisame surrendered the candy and crawled back to the couch when Tobi released him and snatched his possessions back.

"I did not expect him to respond like that." Kisame winced.

I sighed. "I did." They all looked at me in confusion. "Well that's what Brett does when you try to take his candy. If you ask for it though, he'll give you some."

"Hey Tobi, can I have a piece of chocolate?" Kathryn asked politely, testing my statement. They all watched, curious as to how the spaz would respond.

"Of course you can!" Tobi told her sweetly, giving her a piece. She thanked him and he went back to his sweets, humming happily.

"Oh my Jashin." Hidan said looking at me. "How do you do it?"

I shrugged. "It's a gift."

"I'll fucking say!" Hidan said loudly.

"That's three." Sasori added.

Hidan swore. "Damn it!"

"Four." Deidara laughed.

I laughed. "He needs a spray bottle."

The game progressed for a little while until we all ran out of good dares and truths. It was pretty hilarious, especially when Hidan added three more days to his total before he finally bit into his arm and stayed quiet the rest of the time.

* * *

_To be quite honest, I hate the game truth or dare, but as I was writing this I hit a blank so I just bullshitted whatever came to mind._

_That's probably why I don't like it. That and it seems a little rushed to me... Oh well._

_Review my lovelies!  
_


	9. Chapter 9

_This is a shorter one. I was playing a Naruto video game I bought this morning all da_y _today._

_I was dead set on getting as many of the Akatsuki as possible before I had to work on homework:/_

_I got half of the playable ones. Go me!_

_Anyways, I don't own Naruto, but I do own a Green Lantern plushie... Don't ask me why because I don't know either.  
_

* * *

It was finally time for dinner and I didn't feel like making anything so I gathered Sasori, Kisame, Deidara, Itachi, Hidan, and Kakuzu to go with me and Kathryn to the McDonalds down the road to get food for everyone.

We all packed into the Hummer, Itachi sitting up front with me while Kathryn sandwiched herself between Deidara and Sasori. Kisame, Kakuzu and Hidan sat in the very back.

Kathryn grinned at me when I pulled into a parking spot. "We should totally go play in the play place."

I shook my head at her idea. "Kisame and Kakuzu would get stuck. Not to mention that's like the most unsanitary thing ever."

"It'll be fun! Please?" She begged. "They can play in the ball pit. Hidan would get a kick out of it! Come on!"

I sighed and rolled my eyes. "Very well. You can go and play with Hidan. I will watch because I am not crawling around in that death trap of germs."

"Party pooper." She muttered as I shut off the vehicle and we got out, our ninjas following us. Itachi walked beside me the entire way. He looked so bored that I entwined my arm with his and hummed as I pulled him along. I got a smirk. Mission accomplished.

I noticed Kathryn was holding Deidara's hand and swinging it unnecessarily just like she was doing with Sasori with her other hand. I tapped Deidara's shoulder and he looked back at me. I mouthed "Lick her" at him and he smirked.

It only took a minute before Kathryn stopped, bringing both Sasori and Deidara to a halt. She lifted up her and Deidara's hands to inspect them. She then squealed and started jumping up and down. She pulled her hand out of his grip to look at the hand-mouth.

"Ah it's so awesome and yet so weird!" She screamed. She released Sasori and glomped Deidara. "You're so getting married to me when I turn 18."

Deidara laughed. "You and Alice are the first people to actually like them, un."

"I don't understand why." Kathryn pointed out. "It's incredibly sexy, and unique. There's nothing about you that isn't drool inducing or amazing." She looked at Sasori. "You're so lucky, Danna." Sasori just rolled his eyes and told her she was strange and annoying.

"Kathryn, that's my line." I told her, hugging Itachi's arm. "I totally used that on Itachi during the episode that he and Kisame went to the leaf village. You're a thieving little brat."

"It was very useful in this situation." She admitted with a shrug.

Hidan shook his head. "You both are so fucking weird."

"Shut up Hidan." Kathryn snapped.

I smiled at him, clutching Itachi. "It's okay Hidan, we both love you too." I grabbed Kisame and pulled him closer. "But you're not blue; therefore, I can't love you as much as Kisame. Or a puppet, I find that hot. Having brown hair and stitches are also hotness factors."

Kisame laughed when I gave winks to Sasori and Kakuzu and rumpled my brown hair. "I love you too, kid."

I punched the air. "Score! Kisame said he loves me. My life is almost complete!"

"Why just almost?" Itachi questioned. I winked at him and slipped my arm out of his before skipping to the door and holding it open for them.

"That's for me to know and you to find out." I told him with a smile. They walked in behind Kathryn, looking sort of nervous about treading on the unknown territory that is McDonalds.

I slid up to the front of them and pulled out my list of food items I had to get everyone. Some of them were very picky. Zetsu for example, wanted nothing but meat and I had to be sure not to allow anything from a plant to be in his meal.

The person behind the register was someone who I went to school with since sixth grade. I started taking internet school freshman year for all of my classes except AP classes because I hated people and the teachers that work at the intituition from hell. Except my AP U.S. history teacher who was like the coolest old man in the world.

"Oh hey Alice, I haven't seen you in a while." He told me, pushing one of his chin length dreadlocks out of his face.

"Yo, Marcus." I said, waving my hand at him. "How are you?"

He grinned at me. "I'm good. Are all of them with you?" He gestured to the giants behind me. "Hey Kat." He added when his eyes found Kathryn.

"Hi Marcus!" She said cheerfully from between Deidara and Kakuzu.

"Yeah, they're with me." I confirmed. "I've got a big ass order so get ready."

He nodded. "Hit me." And so I did. He made a few questioning faces at the in depth detail of some of the orders but said nothing and pressed the buttons to get them to make it.

"Is that for here or to go?" He asked.

"It's to go, but take your time. Kathryn wants to play in the play place." I informed him. He laughed and shook his head at her. He didn't expect anything less from Kathryn.

I herded them into the enclosed playground like a stressed out mother. Kathryn quickly kicked off her shoes and dove for the ball pit. I cringed slightly, thinking about how dirty and gross those things are. Leave it to Kathryn to not care.

And leave it to the Akatsuki to join her.

I watched Hidan and Deidara take off after her and went to sit down at one of the booths. Itachi squeezed in after me and Kakuzu and Sasori sat across from us. Kisame grabbed a chair from a nearby table and pulled it over to ours.

I could hear Kathryn yelling at Deidara and Hidan inside the tubes. I just sighed and thumped my head on the table. Itachi and Sasori gave me small glances of concern when I made a loud thud as my head hit the hard surface.

"Kathryn, where did you go, hmm!" I heard Deidara call from near the slides. I snorted to myself, imaging Deidara and Hidan crawling around inside the tubes, searching for Kathryn.

A loud smack sounded from the play set and I looked up to see Hidan slamming his face against the clear plastic at a corner of one of the tubes. I snorted with laughter at the Jashinist and buried my face in the bend of my arm to keep my laughter muffled.

"Why are our partners such idiots?" Sasori question Kakuzu.

Kakuzu just shook his head. "You can blame Pein for sticking us with those morons."

"You know you love them." I said, looking up at the two complainers. They gave me very flat, serious looks that I took to mean "No we don't. You're an idiot, stop it." But secretly, I knew they really did.

"How come Itachi and Kisame are the only two partners other than Pein and Konan who get along?" I asked. "Even Zetsu argues with himself all the time."

"Well, that's because neither of us are idiots." Kisame pointed out, gesturing between himself and Itachi.

I nodded in consideration. "Fair enough."

"Ouch! That hurt you piece of shit!" Hidan shouted.

"Don't sneak up on me like that then!" Kathryn countered.

It was now Deidara's turn. "Stop yelling un! We're in an enclosed space and it echoes, yeah." I could image him holding his ears at their shouting.

"Oh, I'm sorry Deidara." Kathryn said just as loudly. "Hidan is being a dick."

"Hey!" Hidan whined.

I rolled my eyes and looked around as something caught my attention. Marcus was waving at me from the counter. I gave him a signal to hold on a minute before I looked at Itachi and began poking his sides.

He looked down at me in question. "What?"

"I need to go get our food, let me out please." I explained. He nodded and waited for Kisame to scoot over in his chair before sliding out of the booth like a badass and a sexy beast, all at the same time.

I got out in a very normal, uninteresting fashion. I paused and addressed the present Akatsuki members. "Get them out of there; we'll be leaving in a few minutes."

"Alright." They said in unison. Though, Itachi just said his signature "Hn".

I left them to get the food. I approached the counter, withdrawing my wallet and getting out the money when Marcus told me the amount. I had just handed over the money when the sudden urge to kill something struck me.

I heard Kathryn screaming about not wanting to leave as Kisame attempted to rip her out of the ball pit. Kakuzu had Hidan by his ankles because he was trying to climb up the slide to escape Kakuzu's wrath. Very loudly and obscenely might I add?

Deidara was being held by Sasori who had a fist full of the terrorist's blond locks. He looked like he was on the verge of tears as Itachi glared down at him on the ground with his Sharingan cocked and loaded. I face palmed and asked Jashin why he liked to torture me.

"Are they going to be okay?" Marcus asked, looking around me at the scene in the play room. He could clearly see what was happening.

I just looked at him with a very angry and annoyed expression. "God I hope not."

He laughed and surrendered the food. "Well, the best of luck to you."

"Thanks Marcus, it's been good seeing you." I told him. "I'll be sure to drop in the next time you're working to chat." He grinned at me and said that was a good idea.

I marched to the play room and pushed open the door. Kathryn stopped throwing a temper tantrum but didn't loosen her death grip on the bars surrounding the ball pit when I entered the room. She could sense my irritation from my murderous aura.

"Get to the damn car, now." I snapped, pointing in the direction of them Hummer. "Or I'll fucking kill you."

Kathryn instantly let go of the bars and allowed Kisame to sling her over his shoulder. Deidara stood up and made a very nervous face and followed Itachi and Sasori out of the room, towards the car. Hidan slid down the slide and didn't complain when Kakuzu punched him.

Kakuzu shoved him towards the door and herded his partner to the car as I walked behind him, glaring daggers into the backs of the misbehaving people. Kathryn, Deidara, and Hidan were so going to get it when we got home.

I unlocked the Hummer with the clicker when I got close enough and waited for the others to get in before handing Itachi the food and getting into the driver's seat. Itachi sat beside me silently, with a knowing smirk on his handsome face.

I silently turned the car on and pulled out of the parking lot, heading for home. After a few minutes of them simmering in the awkward silence, I broke it. "So, the three of you are in serious trouble when we get home."

"Please don't kill me. Deidara and I aren't immortal." Kathryn begged. "Just tear Hidan up. He can take it." I fought back a smile.

"What the fuck?" Hidan demanded. An argument ensued.

"Shut up." I snapped. They fell silent. "Now, if you give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you, I might reconsider." To be honest, I found the situation slightly amusing, and I had no intention of punishing them, but I didn't want to tell them that. Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, and Sasori all knew that I wasn't intending on killing them, but they were enjoying the show.

Kathryn pouted. "Don't kill me! I haven't raped Deidara yet!" Deidara paused and looked to her in both confusion and amusement.

"That's not good enough." I grumbled.

"I haven't done you or Kathryn yet!" Hidan said in his perverted ways.

I frowned. "Okay, Kakuzu, you can kill him if you want."

"With pleasure." He smirked, looking back at his partner. The three children were sitting in the very back while Kisame, Kakuzu, and Sasori all sat in the middle seats.

"The fuck man?" Hidan demanded. "We're supposed to be partners!"

Kakuzu looked directly at him. "I would never have a partner as stupid as you are."

"The level of your immaturity astounds me." Sasori added, looking at Deidara.

Deidara pouted. "Sorry Danna, yeah."

Kisame snickered from his seat. "What did you do to him Itachi?"

"I did nothing. I just threatened him." Itachi said innocently. I swerved at his adorable expression and almost killed a street sign.

I drooled. "I can't deal with your cuteness while I'm driving. Stop distracting me."

Kathryn pointed at me. "Hey! You're not actually mad at us are you?" She caught me. Kathryn knew me better than anyone.

I smiled at her in the mirror. "I'm not. I actually thought it was pretty funny, but I rule with fear, not understanding. I have to make sure I'm not getting too soft."

Kathryn pouted. "I was honestly scared you were going to kill one of us."

"When have I ever actually _hurt_ you?" I paused. "Other than hitting you earlier..."

She went quiet as she tried to think of something. "Well, you've never hurt me, but you've beaten other people up before."

"I only beat them up _because_ they were hurting you." I reminded her. "I don't play those games. I'm the only one allowed to abuse you."

"You've got a feisty one, Itachi." Hidan chuckled from the back.

"Please shut him up. His perverted ways are starting to creep me out." I said, looking back at Kakuzu in the mirror as I turned onto the road leading to the condos.

I saw Itachi smirk out of the corner of my eye and grinned internally in victory.

It took us a few minutes to lug everything inside and another ten minutes to get everyone their food. We ate dinner with no issues, and it only cost me a bleeding Hidan and a bruised knuckle. Totally worth it, might I add?

We sat around for a bit and chatted before I declared it time for bed. Kathryn and I helped Tobi and Zetsu turn the couches into beds before going to our separate rooms with our Akatsuki members.

I saw Itachi and Kisame already lounging on my bed when I walked in. I changed into PJ pants in the bathroom before turning out the lightly and climbing into bed with them.

* * *

_I like the beginning of this, but I'm not too sure how I feel about the end..._

_Anyways, there might be a longer one up later. I have Literature homework to do that I haven't even started on... Whoops..._

_Good day my lovelies and remember to review!  
_


	10. Chapter 10

_Alright kiddies, this a bit of a long one._

_Sorry it's been a while. I've been absorbed in the new Naruto game I got. Kakuzu is a fucking bitch to beat... Jerk..._

_Anyways, school started up again and I hate it just as much as I did before, if not more.  
_

_Oh and btw, I found some really interesting videos on youtube that I'm sure any Akatsuki fan would love._

_Let me know if you wanna see because I'll send you the link. I've found a really good one for any Deidara fans out there. (I've got a couple for SasoDei fans too.)_

_To be honest, I "awed" so many times it was unreal._

_Italicized_ in the story = Kathryn's writing.

**Bold **in the story = Alice's writing (And black Zetsu like always.)

_I don't own Naruto. I do own a case of water bottles still though. Ah, how I love them.  
_

* * *

I woke up to the cutest thing in the world.

Itachi's sleeping face.

He was so adorable I couldn't help but fight back a squeal. And I am not a squealer. His hair was down and he wore no shirt, showing off his perfect abs and chest. Ah, how anyone wouldn't drool at this I have no idea. I certainly did.

His usually bored, emotionless face was so peaceful and he finally looked his age. He didn't look like someone who murdered his entire clan and family. He looked like the young adult he was. Itachi looked like he was the definition of carefree while he slept. I wanted to hug him and cuddle with him because he looked so freaking cute but I assumed that would be a bad idea so I kept my hands to myself.

Kisame slept behind me, and I was his teddy bear. He had his arms wrapped around me from behind and his chin was touching the top of my head. I could feel the contours of his sculpted, godlike muscles because of how closely he was holding me.

I'm freaking lucky.

I had no idea what time it was, and I mostly didn't care. I wanted to get up, but there was no way in hell I was going to wake up these sleeping sex gods. Just watching them sleep was enough to keep me satisfied.

Well, that is until Kathryn got curious.

I heard the almost silent creak of my door as it was pushed opened and looked up to see Kathryn peeking inside, only her head visible. She saw I was awake and grinned at me until she noticed the new additions to my bed.

Her jaw dropped at our positions. She fought back laughter and withdrew from the room, only for her head to be replaced with Sasori. He smirked at me and shook his head before moving to allow Deidara to look inside. Deidara did close to the same.

I poked Kisame, assuming I should wake them up before they were teased. He opened his eyes slowly and tightened his grip around me. I huffed as the air escaped me, waking up Itachi. He searched my face for a minute before noticing I was fighting for oxygen.

"Kisame, you're suffocating her." Itachi said calmly.

Kisame's grip loosened instantly and he whispered a tired, raspy apology in my ear. I patted his arm and told him it was alright before feeling something grab my ankles. I was ripped out of Kisame's arms and off the bed. I frowned when I saw it was Hidan and Kakuzu.

"Jerks." I told them calmly. I stood up like nothing happened and they laughed at me as I brushed myself off. "Good morning by the way."

"I bet it was." Hidan laughed. "What did you three do last night?"

"We did a lot more than you ever _could_, Hidan." I told him seriously. His laughter stopped and his eyes darted between Kisame, Itachi, and I. He was searching for confirmation.

Kisame and Itachi looked at one another and shrugged. I was suddenly grabbed by my waist and wrenched back onto the bed by Kisame. He pulled me onto his lap and cuddled against me before falling onto his side and attempting to go back to sleep.

"As pleased as I am about this situation, I really need to get up. And you guys all should take a shower. I don't want you stinking up my house." I announced, my voice muffled by Kisame's chest.

Kathryn pointed at Kisame. "Hey! No raping Alice!" She grabbed my ankles and tugged on me. "Give her back Kisame!"

I sighed when Kisame wrapped his legs around me to make sure I didn't move. "No, she's mine." He told Kathryn over his shoulder. "Go get your own."

"I love how I don't have a say in this." I mumbled aloud into Kisame's chest. I heard Sasori and Kakuzu chuckle at me while Deidara laughed loudly. Hidan, I'm sure, was still wondering if what I said was true. "Itachi, could you help me out here?" I hoped he would.

I heard a grunt and suddenly I was out of Kisame's grip and Kathryn's to find myself in Itachi's lap while he sat on my bean chair. "She's _mine_, Kisame. You both need to find your own." Itachi corrected him in a tone even I believed.

I saw Kisame pout on my bed and I resisted the urge to hug him. Instead, I occupied myself with Itachi. "I honestly don't mind that I don't have a say in _this _situation." He chuckled at me and patted my head.

I hopped out of his lap and dodged Kisame and Kathryn by shoving Hidan and Deidara at them respectively. I then darted into my bathroom after grabbing clothes. I quickly locked the door just in case.

In less than ten minutes I was done and emerged from the bathroom. I saw Konan, Pein, Tobi, and Zetsu had joined the party in my bedroom.

"Good morning." I told them. They replied with the same greeting. "Alright, you guys get to learn how to take showers. Hopefully we have enough hot water for all of you." I pointed at Konan. "You get to use mine first. Pein can go first in Louis and Brett's."

I grabbed Konan's hand and urged the others to follow me. I led them into the bathroom and taught them how to work it, telling them that both were the same. Once that was over, I ushered the guys out and brought Konan her bags of clothing before leaving her to shower.

I showed Pein where Brett's shower was and he thanked me, gathering his own clothing to change into when he finished.

They all showered relatively quickly. However, they used up all of the hot water. I found out that the Akatsuki revert to kittens again when they're subjected to cold water. I heard shrieks of meows coming from my bathroom and ran inside to see.

Hidan was shivering in the cold shower, meowing his head off; obviously pissed that he was a cat again. I laughed at him as I turned off the shower and he glared. I wrapped him up in a towel and cuddled him, trying to dry him off and keep him warm.

I carried him back into my bedroom and showed the others the shivering kitty.

"Shiny!" Kathryn exclaimed, pointing at Hidan. Kakuzu chuckled while Deidara and Kisame laughed loudly at him.

"Poor thing." I said sadly, petting him. He just kitten glared at the others. "How do we change him back?"

"Try using hot water." Kathryn said. "That's how you changed them from cats the first time. I guess cold water changes them back to cats."

I nodded and handed him to Kathryn. She cooed to him about adorable he was as a kitten and snuggled up against him. He just had a flat stare as I left the room and went down stairs to heat up some water.

I came back up the ascending death trap and took Hidan into the bathroom. I set him in the tub and poured the hot water on him, not caring to remember the first time this happened.

I regretted this.

As used as I am to seeing naked guys, it's not my favorite thing in the world…

I shouted and ran out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. "I forgot you poof back into humans naked." I shook my head, trying to rid myself of Hidan's image.

I heard Hidan knock on the door after a minute of him swearing and chuckling at my reaction from the bathroom. I scurried away from the door and hid behind Kisame, burying my face into his back, just in case Hidan was naked.

"I'm not naked, Alice chill out." He told me. I peeked up to see that he did indeed have clothes on. I sighed with relief and emerged from behind Kisame.

"Well, now that that's over, what to do?" I asked the room.

Kathryn crossed her arms and looked at me. "That's a fantastic question."

I frowned and crossed my own arms in thought. "Well, you guys can go train outside if you want…" I paused to think of another option. I had none.

"That's a good idea." Pein complimented. "We need to train. We've been slacking the past few days."

"Well get out there and try and kill each other!" I said, pointing in some random direction for emphasis. Kisame snickered at my behavior. He walked over to me and scooped me up.

"You heard the lady, let's go." He decided, throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me out of my room and through the house.

I heard some of the others chuckling at my shocked protests at being manhandled by Kisame. Kathryn was leading the discussion. Seeing as I wasn't going to get any help, I soon resigned myself to the situation and gave up trying to reason with the shark man when he began spinning with me on his shoulder.

"If I get sick, I'm so throwing up on you." I threatened. He just laughed and carried me outside when the others caught up.

He set me down on one of the chairs and patted my head. I pouted in my seat and watched him challenge Itachi to a sparring match. He took a defensive position in the middle of the yard as the others spread out, preparing to spar together.

Kathryn and I sat on the patio, watching our little Akatsuki members train. We warned them not to use anything other than hand-to-hand combat and Pein made sure to address that before they began. Thank Jashin he did, or my backyard would be in ruins.

After about an hour, I went inside and brought out a case of water bottles for the criminals. Itachi, being the overly observant person he is, took notice to this instantly and advised Kisame to join him in getting one or two.

"Hey Itachi," I began, looking at the sexy Uchiha as he drank calmly from the water bottle. He raised his eyebrow at me as Kisame inhaled his third bottle.

"You ninja's have super reflexes right?" I asked. He gave me a questioning stare before nodding. Kisame and Kathryn raised their eyebrows at me.

"Yes, we do." He said. "You can't live very long as a ninja unless you do." I smiled at this and removed a water bottle from the case. I stood up and took a stance, preparing myself to launch it. Kisame and Itachi moved out of my way, afraid of what I might do.

I chucked the water bottle at my religious target. It crashed against the side of his head a second after he deflected a lazy blow from Kakuzu. The cap shot off and it would have gotten said zealot wet had it not bounced off his head before he dropped to the ground.

Kisame spewed his water and burst out laughing while Kathryn fell backwards in her chair. Itachi and I just chuckled as Hidan jumped to his feet, glaring around for whatever hit him. Kakuzu was snorting with laughter, while the other members of the Akatsuki watched the Jashinist discover the bottle.

Hidan glared at the bottle as if it was evil before his eyes flew up to the patio. I saw his eyes fall on the case of identical bottles beside me and then drift up to me as I watched him search for the thrower.

"Did you fucking throw this?" He snarled.

I laughed. "You're not very ninja, Hidan." I told him, making his eyes narrow. "I can't believe you didn't dodge that." I looked to Itachi. "He doesn't have super reflexes."

Itachi just smirked at me. "He is one exception."

"You caught me off guard!" Hidan snapped.

I grabbed another bottle and hurled it at Deidara who dodge it easily even though he was facing away from me. Kakuzu caught it as it whizzed over the blonde's ducked head. He thanked me with a smirk before taking off the cap and drinking it.

"Deidara dodged it. And he was facing away from me." I informed him. "I think you're just a slacker."

"Sorry I wasn't fucking watching out for fucking flying bottles of damn water!" Hidan retorted. He gestured at Kakuzu. "I was fighting this dickhead."

I shook my head. "Excuses, excuses…"

He glared and I laughed.

"I've got more water bottles if you guys run out. I think Kisame could drink a whole case by himself." I announced the others as Hidan marched up the patio to get a water bottle that didn't fly at his head.

"The fishy needs his water." Kathryn told me as she fixed her chair. She beamed at Kisame when he gave her a stare that clearly said he wasn't amused with her comment.

"She's got a fucking arm." Hidan commented as he rubbed the side of his now injured head. Deidara was snorting with laughter at him as he inspected his head for any damage.

"That's because Alice's a freaking beast." Kathryn explained. I gave her a look but she continued anyway. "No one in our school messes with her. She's kicked the shit out of most of the guys there." She smiled. "That and because everyone loves her."

"They were asking for it." I chimed. "I don't like being annoyed, and I certainly don't like people creeping on what's mine."

"What are you talking about?" Sasori questioned.

I pointed at Kathryn. "She is mine. I do not like people creeping on her. Guys at school tend to do it a lot because she's like the prettiest girl there. I'm very protective and territorial over what's mine. I get it from Louis. His behavior has rubbed off on me."

"**You're really weird.** I hope you know that." Zetsu told me.

"I'm being called weird from a plant man with two personalities." I sighed. "I accept this." Kathryn giggled at me.

"Oh shit." My eyes widened as I remembered something. "We fucking have school tomorrow." Kathryn's eyes shot open, mirroring my horror.

"What?" Hidan demanded. "You're going to fucking leave us here?"

I frowned at him. "Trust me psycho, I'm none too thrilled about it either." I shook my head, my stress renewed. "You're going to destroy my house."

"No we won't." Kisame told me with a pat on the back. Somehow, I wasn't satisfied with his words. When I voiced this, I was assured by someone else who was much more convincing.

"We won't cause your house any damage." Itachi said calmly. "I promise. I'll break anyone who tries. And I know Pein-sama wouldn't allow it."

"How long are you going to be gone?" Kakuzu asked.

I frowned. "Well, I only go to school for three classes in the morning. The rest of the classes I take online. Kathryn stays for the whole day."

"Why is that?" Konan wondered.

Kathryn turned to her. "That's because Alice's antisocial and she hates people. That and she's a super genius compared to most of the people in school."

"You could do the same thing I do too; your mom just won't let you." I reminded her. Kathryn was just as smart as I was, she just lacked common sense.

"Antisocial?" Hidan repeated. "How the fuck, are you antisocial?"

"I despise the human race." I informed him. "People piss me off. It used to be a challenge to get through the day and not want to kill someone at least once. I try to stay away from others."

Kathryn nodded. "It's true. When she went to school all day, she used to have to leave classes in the middle of the period because someone would act like an ass to someone else and she'd be ready to kill them."

"It sounds to me like someone has anger issues." Sasori pointed out, looking at me.

I rolled my eyes. "And all of you don't?" He opened his mouth to retort but then paused as he thought about it. Honestly the only ones who didn't get visibly angry at little things were Itachi, Konan, and Pein.

"So now she just takes AP U.S. History, AP American Literature, and AP Psychology at school. The rest she does on the internet. All of the classes are with me." Kathryn explained. "Thank god. I'd die without seeing Alice all day." I smiled at her.

"I'd be lost without you too, Kathryn." I agreed.

"At least we have intelligent people in our AP classes." Kathryn pointed out.

I dipped my head in agreement, handing Pein a bottle of water. "This is true. Though how the hell Nick and John got into AP History is beyond me."

Kathryn laughed at this. "That still stumps me too."

I smirked at her and stood beside my chair which was now occupied by Deidara. "So, you guys will only be alone for a little over two hours. According to how we've been getting up recently, you'll just have woken up by the time I get back."

"What time do you leave in the morning, un?" Deidara asked, tilting back in his chair.

"School starts at seven." I said. Kakuzu and Hidan took up the next two seats around the little table. Tobi sat on the giant crate we have while Kisame leaned against it beside him. Itachi, Pein, Konan, Zetsu, and Sasori just stood around us.

"What are we supposed to do for food if we do get up early?" Kakuzu questioned, looking up at me with his extreme strange and yet extremely awesome eyes.

I shrugged. "There're enough Pop-Tarts in there for you guys to eat. You know where they are. Just don't turn on anything other than the light please. I don't need a fire."

"You don't have to worry, Alice. We won't fuck up your house." Hidan assured me, patting my back from his chair.

I pouted, hoping to Jashin they didn't.

* * *

I conveniently woke up just five minutes before my alarm on my phone was set to go off.

I quickly silenced the portable device and looked around the dark room. Kisame and Itachi were still sleeping so I wiggled my way free of Kisame and slipped out of bed, pausing suddenly when Itachi twitched in his sleep.

Once I noticed he wasn't going to wake up, I hurried through my morning routine. When I came silently out of my bathroom, Itachi and Kisame were still sleeping soundly. I sighed contently at this and slipped out of my room, grabbing my mesh book bag and headed down stairs. I almost had a heart attack as snoring stopped me in my tracks.

I had come close to tripping into Tobi who slept on the couch-bed beside the steps. I exhaled quietly in relief when he didn't stir before tiptoeing to the kitchen. Kathryn was sitting at the table looking dead. Sasori sat beside her, with a smirk on his face.

"What are you smirking about?" I asked, raising my eyebrows at the puppet man.

He shook his head before dipping it in Kathryn's direction. "She is not a morning person." He chuckled when Kathryn flipped him off.

"I'm aware." I giggled. "How did she get up?"

"I dragged her out of the bed when her phone went off." Sasori explained. "She almost went off on me but remembered the Brat was still sleeping."

Kathryn shook her head at him. If looks could kill, Sasori would be dead. Kathryn was willing his head to explode with her tired glare. She stopped after a minute and looked up at me. "When are we leaving?"

"Grab a Pop-Tart and we'll go now." I told her. I grabbed the parking pass from the key ring, being sure to put it on the mirror. "I'll see you later, Sasori." I told him quietly as I ushered Kathryn out of the kitchen. "Make sure my house is still standing when by the time I get back."

He waved at me, a smirk on his face. "I will."

Kathryn and I escaped to the cold outdoors and hurried to the Hummer. Fortunately, there isn't a lot of traffic at this time of day near my house. Unfortunately, Kathryn wanted to get a hot chocolate. It's a good thing I drive twenty miles over the speed limit regardless of any situation or else we might have been late for the warning bell.

Kathryn and I walked through the halls, sipping on our hot chocolaty beverages as we slipped through the crowds of people massing in the hallways. I glared at the freshman when they got in my way and they withered under my stare. Kathryn just laughed at my behavior as we made it to our first period of the day.

My AP U.S. History teacher was a cranky, stiff old man who didn't accept anything less than perfection. I loved this man. He was the smartest man I've ever met, and his witty comments amused me to no end. Mr. Nau was my favorite teacher ever. I've had the pleasure of being his student since seventh grade. Now that I was a junior, this was my last year with him.

There were only 14 people in my class, so we were able to choose our own seats. I sat against the wall on the furthest side of the room from his desk, in the very front of the class while Kathryn sat beside me, and we were in our own little island except for two other kids.

"I hope you guys enjoyed your break. When I was in school, if we got a break for that long, we didn't know what to do with ourselves." Mr. Nau announced as he entered the class, taking strides that were much too large for any normal person.

"The question is Mr. Nau; did you enjoy your break?" I asked, noting his Vanderbilt sweater over his collared shirt.

He looked at me, his eyes narrowing behind his glasses. "Why yes I did, I didn't have to see any of you for five days." He ran a hand through his short, dark hair. He had this little patch of white hair right in the middle of his forehead. "I'd say it was a wonderful break."

The class laughed at this, enjoying his comment. He threw the grade book he carried with him everywhere on his desk before grabbing his dry erase marker and pointing at us with it. "I trust you all read the entire book over break?"

There were a few scoffs and eye rolls at the rhetorical question. He smirked at us and turned to the whiteboard. "Obviously none of you are worthy for an AP class." He pulled the cap off and wrote the date at the top of the board.

This is where I only half listened. Mr. Nau mostly just lectures during his classes, writing only a few dates and names on the board. We have a SmartBoard, but he's old school, and barely knows how to do anything other than get on Wikipedia on a normal computer. The SmartBoard basically just takes up space and collects dust.

I jerked slightly as something touched me. Kathryn poked me again with a note and I took it, rolling my eyes at the intricate folding job she did just for my "enjoyment". I heard her snicker when she saw my eyes roll.

_You know who would love to know about our little friends?_

I narrowed my eyes at the note. **No, who? **I folded it in quarters, ruining her intricate folds.

I passed it back to her as Mr. Nau scolded a kid named John for sleeping. I rolled my eyes at the sleeping buffoon. He and his brother Nick were both morons.

I watched Mr. Nau for a while. He has a habit of stuttering and making strange grunting noises when he's trying to think of what to say. It's really amusing; he even thinks it's funny.

Kathryn passed the note back, whispering something about she had the money and asking if I had the stuff. I laughed at her and took the paper.

_I'm pretty sure Erika and Seth would love it. You should have them over. Erika lives like two seconds away and Seth is always over in her neighborhood._

**I'm not allowed to have guys over you tard-baby. I would if I could, but I'd rather not have Louis ripping my face off. I know Mike and Josh would love to meet them too.**

I threw the folded paper back at her and waited as Mr. Nau handed us back our tests from the day before our little break. We had a test every Friday and an in-class essay every other Thursday. It wasn't as bad as I assumed it would be.

_Awe but I wanna. At least let Courtney over. She'd love to meet them. I need female contact other than you!_

I sighed at this. She gave me an innocent smile and I gave her a flat stare in return. She just grinned wider at me, knowing she could get away with it because I loved her.

**You're an idiot. I'll let Courtney come over, and MAYBE Erika and Seth. The fewer number of people know about our buddies, the better off I'll be. You're lucky I love you or else I'd have broken the desk with your face.**

I passed the note back and frowned at her when she giggled loudly. She buried her face in her arms after Mr. Nau raised his eyebrow at her. He looked to me for an answer.

"Just ignore her; she's had too much sugar this morning." I sighed. He chuckled at me and nodded, ignoring Kathryn who was recovering from her giggles. Mr. Nau loves me.

_Don't make death threats! I had a mental image of you doing that and about died. Oh! Hoot would love them too._

**No more people you moron. I'll make as many death threats as I wish. Now, enough with this note, the class is going to end in like a minute. I'm not having a freaking party with a bunch of murders in my house.**

I showed her the note and she went to write on it just as the bell rang. She grinned and shot out of her chair, throwing her hands in the air. "Party at Alice's house!"

I visibly twitched. A couple of the people looked interested. I smacked Kathryn in the back of her head. Glaring at her cowering figure, I made another death threat. "If anyone shows up at my house, I will brutally kill them and strangle you with their entrails." The people of the class caught this and laughed.

Kathryn and I walked across the hallway to Psychology. We had this with Hoot, Courtney, and Erika. They sat with us at our strangely positioned desks. Mr. Lyons enjoyed switching the desks around every week, just to keep us on our toes. Stupid teacher…

I threw my stuff down and sat in between Hoot and Erika while Kathryn and Courtney across from us. We used the left over seat to pile our books on or Kathryn used it to sleep on.

Mr. Lyons threw open the door dramatically and announced that we were watching Criminal Minds because he hated us and didn't want to teach us. I liked Mr. Lyons, but he secretly and nonchalantly hit on Kathryn because she was gorgeous.

I elbowed Erika and pulled one of extensions to make her lean towards me. Kathryn smirked at me, knowing what I was going for. She raised her eyebrow at me and complied.

"You and Hoot need to come over to my house after school today." I whispered in her ear. "I can pick you up if you need a ride."

She gave me a look. "What for?" Mr. Lyons started the show in his SmartBoard.

"I have a super spectacular surprise for you." I informed her. I then leaned over to Hoot and told him the same thing.

Now, this guy's name is actually John, but his middle name is Houston and somehow, someone got Hoot from that, so now that's what everyone calls him. Even the teachers address him by his owl-like nickname.

He shook his head at my offered ride. "Nah, I can drive over. I'll get Erika too." He pulled me into a hug, just like every morning during this class. I returned the gesture, enjoying his awesome hugs. Hoot has the best hugs ever.

Courtney looked at me with a smile. "I can come over too right? Kathryn isn't inviting me over without asking is she?"

I shook my head. "No you can come over. I'd like to keep it just you three and Seth." I paused. "Make sure you keep your inner slut at home."

She frowned at me. "Whatever Alice, you know you love me."

"I love you for your personality, not your risqué behavior." I corrected her. "I don't care what you do on your own time, but since you're coming to my place of living, I won't hesitate to beat you if you piss me off."

Kathryn laughed and gave me a high-five. "I love you. Your sarcasm and bitchiness makes me so happy."

"I love you too Kathryn." I told her. Erika laughed quietly at us.

The rest of the class went by quickly. Watching something in class always makes it speed by. My only disturbances were Erika and Hoot pestering me on either side, trying to discover my "surprise" for them. I would just quietly tell them to hold their horses.

The bell rang yet again, encouraging me to do my best since I only had one more class in the death trap known as school. However, it was my least favorite one because of the long term substitute we had. Cue slacking.

Our regular teacher was Mrs. Newman, a very witty, sarcastic, lovable woman. Our sub was Mrs. Night, or Nightmare as she was dubbed by us students. She was overly loud, really strict, and as ignorant as they come. She pronounced just about everything wrong, she lost everything, and her favorite student was my least favorite person in the world.

Kathryn and I took our seats beside one another. Seth, or Sethy-Poo as I called him, sat on my other side. He smirked at me as I sat beside him and pleasantly said hello to Kathryn. Kathryn smiled at him and returned the greeting.

"Good morning, Sethy-Poo." I told him. He shook his head at me as if he was disappointed but after a stare I gave him, he broke out into a grin.

"Hey Alice," he said. "What's up?"

"Not a lot. What are you doing after school?" I asked him.

He frowned in thought. "Well, I was gonna lift weights but they closed the weight room for the basketball girls." He shrugged. "So I guess nothing. Why?"

"You're going to come over to my house after school." I said to him firmly, as if he had asked. He raised his eyebrows at me. "What if I'm not allowed?"

"I'll kidnap you." Kathryn said simply, looking around me to grin at Seth.

Seth laughed at that. He has the best laugh ever by the way. It's kind of like a short chuckle, but it's deep and adorable. He chuckles like three times every time and then he's done until something else funny comes up.

"What if I don't want to?" He questioned.

"You're my sex slave. You have no choice." I reminded him. "We've discussed this before." I saw him roll his eyes. "Just come over. I can give you a ride. I'm picking Kathryn up anyways. Erika, Hoot, and Courtney are coming too."

He paused. "But that gay guy hit on me the last time I came over."

"They're out of town." I soothed. "Kathryn is staying with me while they're in Canada."

Kathryn smiled at him. "Alice will be the only one to hit on you if you come. Don't worry." She looked at me when I sighed.

"I don't hit on Sethy-Poo." I corrected her. "I just enjoy creeping him out. His reactions are hysterical."

Seth chuckled at this. He was probably the best looking guy in our grade, but since I had known him my entire life, I wasn't attracted to him in the slightest. Honestly, no guy at our school appealed to me in that category.

"Alright fine, I'll go." He shook his head at us. "I'll just grab a ride with Hoot."

"I can pick you up you know." I said, wondering why he would resort to Hoot when I just offered him a ride.

He laughed. "Your driving is a hazard. You drive like 900 in a school zone. I saw that big ass Hummer you drive almost take out Lauren."

Kathryn shook her head. "You two should just get married."

I turned to her. "Why?"

"You're both so buddy, buddy it is ridiculous." She laughed.

I rolled my eyes and looked at Seth. "How about it Sethy-Poo? Would you like to become my husband rather than my slave?"

"Well we do have a lot in common." He laughed. "We have the same tastes in music; we both like the same kind of TV shows and movies. We both have the same food preferences and our favorite Pokémon is Arcanine."

"So it's settled." I smirked as Mrs. Nightmare called our attention back to whatever poem she decided to yell at us today. She had us dissect the damn thing and then explain it in our own words. I was beyond annoyed when she pronounced savagery wrong. She also said chivalry wrong. This woman is an idiot.

I sighed with happiness as the bell rang, calling my school day to an end. I hugged Kathryn and told her to meet me out front before stabbing Seth, my arm going through the space between his arm and his side. It's a really annoying, swift stab of the entire arm. It drives him nuts because I do it every day and he never expects it.

I laughed at his attempt to hit me and darted away from him, heading towards the exit of the school. I walk to my car, twirling my key on my finger, wondering how in the hell I was going to explain this to the criminals taking up space in my house.

* * *

_Your guys' reviews make me sooo happy. Literally, I read every one of them and they make my day._

_I thank all of you who read and especially those who review. Oh and if you sent a suggestion of what you'd like to see, I'm working on it. I'll do my best to incorporate any suggestions you guys have_

_as well as leave out anything you don't want to see. I'm considerate because I have time._

_Thumbs up to me for having the highest grade in my A.P. History class! Woo!_

_Alright I'm done. _

_Toodles my dears.  
_


	11. Chapter 11

_So I officially decided that a good song for Zetsu would be Sweating Bullets by Megadeth._

_It's about a guy with multiple personalities. Lol_

_Anyways..._

_I don't own Naruto. But I do own an ANBU necklace that my friend Marcus got me. Yeah, he's the one who worked at McDonald's a few chapters ago.  
_

_He actually works at Wendy's not McDonald's but hey, either way...  
_

* * *

I got home quickly and silently opened the front door. Tobi and Zetsu were still down and out, just like I had expected. It was about 9:30 in the morning, about thirty minutes before we usually woke up.

I tiptoed upstairs and snuck into my room. Kisame and Itachi were both sleeping still and neither stirred when I discarded my shoes, and school things. I slithered into my bed, sliding up in between them.

I snuggled against both of them, Itachi had his back towards me, but he was close enough for me to cuddle with as I pressed against Kisame. They both were surprisingly heavy sleepers. I was being extra quiet, but I expected them to wake up at my snuggling.

Maybe they did, but decided not to react. I shrugged internally, not caring either way. It made me feel like a sneaky ninja so I was a winner in my opinion.

I knew I couldn't fall back asleep, so I lay between them, utterly content with my situation. A few minutes after I had gotten comfortable, Kisame had wrapped his arms back around me, still snoring lightly.

I listened to their breathing. Itachi was silent, but every now and then, he would twitch lightly in his sleep, his perfect muscles having random spasms. He moved a lot in his sleep too. When I walked in, he was facing away from me, but now he was lying on his stomach, his face towards me so he could breathe.

Kisame snored ever so lightly. It could have been considered just heavier breathing, but if you were as close as I was, you could hear the faint snore. He was a still sleeper. He didn't move at all while he slept except for his arms, which had to be wrapped around something. He loved to cuddle, even in his sleep. Figures…

To be honest, I hated sleeping in the same bed as other people. I could barely even stand the same room. I'm the lightest sleeper you'll find and I wake up at the slightest noise. The only person I've ever been able to sleep in the same bed as and not have issues is Kathryn, even though she moves more than a child with A.D.D. However, I've found that Kisame and Itachi are both very easy to sleep with.

... Okay that sounded dirty...

I felt a shift in the air and Itachi's breathing slowed. I watched his eyes opened slightly and blink tiredly before he took in his surroundings. He looked slightly confused when he saw me. I saw him raise a perfect eyebrow before looking around, at my window.

"Didn't you have somewhere to go?" He whispered.

I smiled at him. "I already left and came back." I explained. He frowned at this.

"I didn't notice." He said. "You must have been very quiet."

"I didn't want to wake you up." I admitted. "You're adorable when you sleep." I saw him smirk at that and lean closer to me.

_Wait a second… why is his face getting closer?_ My mind was searching for an answer to that question as Itachi's eyes glanced up at Kisame's sleeping face before he placed his lips on mine. He just killed me, cue heart attack.

I froze for an instant before returning the gesture, catching up to what he did. Ah, the perfect Uchiha who was a master at anything he tried, was also a master at kissing and making my heart do the two most cliché things ever.

It fluttered before melting.

I am ashamed to ever have said either of those words in the same sentence pertaining to myself.

He pulled away after a few seconds and smiled at me. My jaw dropped ever so slightly and he chuckled at my reaction.

"You were holding out on me during truth or dare." I informed him in a breathless whisper. He just smirked and backed away from me, his eyes watching Kisame, making sure the shark man wasn't awake.

"What time is it?" He asked after a minute.

I grabbed my phone and looked at it. "It's about ten."

He nodded and looked at me. "How was school?"

"Stupid." I told him. "I hate school." I made a face of shock when Kisame jerked in his sleep. He squeezed, successfully winding me, and buried his face in my hair.

"Mm, you smell good." Kisame muttered in a raspy morning voice. I shivered as his breath tickled my scalp.

"Can't… breathe… Kisame…" I gasped. His grip slackened instantly and he lifted his head to rest his cheek against mine, pressing my head further into the pillow.

"Good morning Alice." He said with a smile. "Did you already go to school?"

I nodded beneath his head. "Good morning Kisame. Yeah, I already went to school." I sighed. "If I'm going to suffocate every morning, I really think we might need to adjust the sleeping arrangements."

Kisame chuckled. "You're comfortable." He told me. "And you like cuddling. You snuggle up to both of us every night." He smirked at Itachi from on top of my face. "Doesn't she Itachi?"

"You do. You also talk in your sleep." He informed me. "You haven't said much recently, and the whimpering stops whenever you are being held."

I sighed. "Wonderful… I'm like a baby." Kisame snickered and Itachi smirked.

"Neither of us mind it." Itachi said. "Kisame and I are more than willing to cuddle with you if you want it."

"That makes three of us." I said with a small giggle. "I'm just glad you're not Hidan."

"I fucking heard that." A loud voice said from the doorway. Kisame, Itachi, and I looked towards my door to see Sasori, Deidara, Hidan, and Kakuzu standing there in all of their bed-wear glory. I drooled at the fact that none of them except Sasori wore shirts to bed.

"Good morning, my dearest criminals." I sang happily. I saw Sasori and Kakuzu roll their eyes as the foursome entered my room.

"You three look cozy, un." Deidara teased.

"I'm comfy as hell." I agreed, grabbing Itachi and pulling him closer. He complied considering he had no say in the matter. "Care to join? There's enough room for seven."

"No thanks, yeah." Deidara said with a laugh. I released Itachi and Kisame with a shrug.

"You look just fine sleeping with Kathryn every night, Brat." Sasori jeered. Deidara gave his Danna a cold glare as Kakuzu and Kisame chuckled at the blond.

"What time did you get back?" Kakuzu asked.

I shrugged. "9:30 so about fifty minutes ago." I tried to sit up, only to find out that Kisame was still latched onto me.

"Well, it appears as if I'm in a predicament." I said, poking Kisame's arms. "Who wants to help me out?" I paused. "Unless you want to let me go, Kisame..."

Kisame just smirked at me and tightened his grip, wrapping his legs around me to ensure I wasn't going anywhere any time soon.

I felt Hidan grab my ankles and tug on me, but I didn't budge. "Please don't break me." I added when he pulled even harder.

Itachi leaned over me and smirked. "I'd help, but I'm curious to see how you manage to get free by yourself."

I sighed. "Of course you are." I tried to turn in Kisame's grasp but his iron grip wasn't going to allow that. I huffed and began poking his stomach, hoping for a ticklish spot.

"Kisame!" I whined. "Let go of me."

He shook his head and squeezed me once. "Mine."

"This is not fair at all." I pouted. "I'm a teenager, facing a ninja."

He shrugged. "That's your problem. I'm enjoying this."

"Sure you do pedophile." Kakuzu teased. Kisame shot him a glare over my shoulder.

"Sixteen is the age of consent. He's good." I corrected him. "Go back like eight months and he would be breaking some laws."

Deidara frowned. "You're only sixteen?"

"Yeah, I turned sixteen in June." I confirmed, trying to wiggle free. "Why?"

"You're only a few years younger than me. Is Kathryn sixteen too?" He wondered.

I nodded. "She's a few months younger than me." I started trying to kick my legs but Kisame just flexed and my efforts were foiled by his strength. Damn massively strong shark…

I turned my face to glare at him. He just grinned a toothy grin at me. I shook my head and pointed towards the door. "Ah! Flying monkey!" I shouted. All of the ninjas looked towards the door in confusion and I took their distractedness as an opportunity to strike.

I licked Kisame's face.

He jerked in shock and loosened his grip enough for me to wiggle free. I scrambled away from him and jumped at Hidan who caught me. I latched onto him Koala style, glaring at Kisame to make sure he didn't try to get me in his clutches again.

"How did you get away?" Itachi asked, wondering how the world a sixteen year old female managed to get away from someone like Kisame, an all around badass, lethal ninja.

"I have my ways." I admitted to him, resting my head on Hidan's silver hair. "You smell good, Hidan." I added, inhaling his scent. He smelled strongly of clean dude.

"Thanks?" He said, slightly confused and disturbed.

"You're very welcome." I said, hugging him. "Now, who wants to keep me safe from the shark so I can go downstairs? I have a feeling as soon as I let go of the Jashinist, he's going to attack me." Kisame just sneered at me, fully intending on attacking me when I was vulnerable.

None of them came to my aid. I saw Itachi sitting on the bed, watching me with a smirk. He wanted to watch me suffer because it was entertaining. That Uchiha really is evil.

Hidan just laughed evilly and took a step closer to Kisame who was poised, ready to attack should I come within range. I yelped and dropped from Hidan, darting towards my door.

Kisame lunged at me but I managed to dodge him. I wrenched my door open and flew to the stairs. I hurried down them as fast as I could, hearing Kisame coming after me. I made it to the first floor as he started on them.

I squealed in fear and shot from the stairs, searching for my savior. I saw him, standing on the other side of the living room.

"Tobi!" I shouted, leaping over the coffee table. I tackled him and latched onto him. "Protect me from Kisame!" He managed to act shocked from beneath his mask.

"Tobi will help Alice-chan because Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi declared. He scooped me up and made to run away when Kisame launched himself over the railing and landed in our path. I muffled my scared scream and felt the war begin.

Kisame reached for me but Tobi darted the other way, heading for the outside. Kisame swore and shot after us. The others had just made it to the first floor by the time we were fleeing.

"Good boy Tobi!" I cheered. "Just don't give me to Kisame!" He announced that he was a good boy again as we made it to the backyard.

We looked around for an escape route but found none. We would just have to evade the shark man. I made Tobi put me down and I sprinted to the crate we had. I dived inside it and pulled Tobi in with me. I shut it just five seconds before Kisame emerged from the house.

I could see him through the hole in the crate where one of Louis's punches had broken through. He looked around with an evil smirk on his face, searching for me. Tobi and I clutched each other in the darkness of the crate, watching Kisame through the hole.

I saw the five others from my bedroom walk outside.

"Where did she go?" Itachi asked. "How did she outrun you?"

"Tobi is helping her." Kisame informed him, scanning the backyard.

Sasori chuckled. "So how did she get away from you in the first place?"

Kisame blushed slightly. "She caught me off guard."

"She's a feisty little thing." Hidan said with a laugh.

"Why don't you just search for Tobi's chakra?" Kakuzu suggested. "Obviously she's with him." I froze, realizing that that would work, seeing as Tobi was next to me.

I looked away from the hole at Tobi, who had done the same to look at me. I pouted and squeezed him tighter. "It's okay Tobi, I still love you."

Tobi whispered back his love for me and we held one another, awaiting our doom.

Deidara pointed in our direction. "It feels like it's coming from over there, un."

"The crate?" Sasori questioned. "I don't think they'd hide in there, Brat."

"Tobi's chakra is coming from the crate." Itachi confirmed. "Go and get her Kisame."

Kisame chuckled a chuckle that sent chills down my spine. I whimpered and Tobi trembled as Kisame approached our hiding spot. He reached down to grab the lid of the crate when Tobi released me and jumped out of it, tackling Kisame.

"Run Alice-chan!" Tobi shouted, taking Kisame by surprise.

I launched myself out of the crate, shouting thanks at Tobi before running around them to the backdoor. I dodged the others as they made small attempts to grab me as I fled from Kisame, sprinting through the house. I hurried up the stairs and ran into the spare bedroom.

I scurried to the closet and shut myself inside; hoping to Jashin Kisame wouldn't find me.

**Third Person!**

Kisame managed to throw Tobi off of him just as Alice ran inside. He got to his feet and grabbed Tobi. "Where did she go?" He lifted Tobi off the ground as Hidan and Deidara laughed at what had happened previously.

"Tobi doesn't know!" Tobi pouted. "Tobi was only helping Alice-chan escape!"

"She ran back inside the house, Kisame." Itachi said calmly. "You'd better go and get her before she finds a good hiding spot."

Kisame snickered at his partner. "You're right Itachi." He dropped Tobi in a heap on the ground and walked back to the house. He led the other five members inside, walking through what Alice had called the laundry room and to the living room.

Zetsu was standing beside Pein and Konan who were sitting on the couch, watching the others. Kisame stopped and tilted his head towards their leader.

"What's going on? Alice just ran though here looking terrified." Konan questioned. "You guys aren't hurting her are you?"

Kisame laughed. "No, we're just playing around with her."

"She's running away from Kisame." Itachi deadpanned.

Pein rolled his eyes. "Just make sure you don't break anything, her included." He warned. The standing members other than Zetsu assured him they wouldn't before heading to the stairs.

Kisame frowned when they reached the top of the stairs. "Which room do you think she went into?"

Deidara shrugged. "I'd say she went into hers, yeah."

Hidan shook his head. "She'd expect us to look there. She'd go somewhere else."

Kakuzu looked angry. "I hate to say it, but I agree with Hidan."

"I do too." Sasori said, looking slightly disappointed. "He has a point."

"So did she go into your room, or Kakuzu's room?" Itachi questioned, glancing at the puppet. "Perhaps she went in a bathroom?"

Kisame scratched his head, rumpling his blue hair. "I don't know, let's check the spare first. I don't want to search through the other room unless I have to."

Deidara nodded and went first, opening the door and walked quietly inside. The others followed and they set about, tearing the room apart in search for the girl.

Kisame stood up from looking under the bed and walked to the closet. He paused. "If she's in here, she's going to shoot out of the closet and make a run for it. Stand guard by the door so she can't escape.

Hidan, Deidara, Kakuzu, Sasori, and Itachi positioned themselves in front of the only exit, preparing themselves for her escape.

Kisame wrenched the door open and was hit in the face with a pillow. He took a few steps back in shock as Alice shot out of the closet. She skidded to a stop when she saw the wall of ninja blocking her path.

She looked over them before she went after Itachi. She lunged at him. He caught her and held her still as she tried to escape around him. Alice looked over her shoulder and yelped in fear when she saw Kisame heading her way. Alice wrapped her legs around Itachi's waist.

She further latched onto Itachi with a death grip, burying her face into the crook of his neck. "Don't let him eat me!" She begged. Itachi wrapped his arms around her waist in a hug.

"Don't worry Alice; he's not going to eat you." Itachi soothed.

"Lies." Alice growled into his neck. The others laughed.

Itachi rubbed her back calmingly. "You're going to break me in half, Alice. Loosen your grip a little. We aren't really going to hurt you."

"Hidan will." She snapped, but she eased up on her hold to a bearable grip.

She whimpered in slight fear and shock as Kisame wrapped his arms around her waist. "Alice, come to me, don't our nights in bed mean anything to you?"

She snuck a look at him from her Uchiha protector. "You're going to eat me."

"I most certainly will not." Kisame said with a smirk.

"Liar." She repeated. "I can only trust Itachi." She reburied her face. "Who, by the way smells like awesome." Itachi chuckled, causing her to shiver. "Don't do that while I'm holding onto you. It's sexy and I might drool on you."

"Why can't you trust us, un?" Deidara questioned.

"You'll blow me up. Sasori is the one person I would never want to piss off because something about him just intimidates me. Kakuzu would try and sell me." I informed him. "If I don't hold the Uchiha, I'd go to Kakuzu because I can at least bribe him."

"You're ridiculous." Sasori said, shaking his head.

"Shut up Pinocchio." Alice's head shot up as something caught her attention. "What time is it?" She looked around for an answer.

"I don't know." They all said in unison.

She looked down at Itachi's face and smiled. "Well hello handsome."

He smirked. "Hello."

"Would you like to do me a super special favor?" Alice asked.

He raised his eyebrows. "That depends on what the favor is."

"Take me to my room and we'll make beautiful babies." She said seriously. The others stopped what they were doing instantly and Itachi looked shocked. "I'm joking. Take me to my room so I can get my phone. I'm not getting eaten, killed, blown up, sold, or… whatever Sasori would do to me. He'd probably turn me into a puppet."

"You wouldn't be worth it." Sasori told her. She pouted for a moment before sticking her tongue out at him.

"Whatever. You're just mad because I'm not clutching onto you like this." She froze instantly. "Shit! I have to talk to all of you!" She dropped from Itachi and sprinted out of the room. "Go downstairs now!"

The Akatsuki members who heard her looked confused at her behavior but complied. They trooped down the stairs and took their seats around the sitting room.

Pein raised his eyebrows at them. "What's going on?"

Hidan shrugged. "She said she needed to talk to us so she ordered us to come down here." He shook his head. "She was teasing the puppet while clutching onto pretty boy before she just froze and ran out of the room.

"Yes, that's because something Sasori said reminded me of something important." Alice said as she descended down the steps.

**First Person Alice!**

"What's up?" Konan asked, sitting beside Pein.

"We're having some guests over." I help up my hand. "Before you scold me, just know that it was Kathryn's idea. I'm not really okay with it, but I don't see what the harm is since it'll only be for a little while. I trust these people enough to let them over with a house full of criminals." I informed them.

"How many people?" Kakuzu wondered.

"Four." I said. "My friends Courtney, Seth, Erika, and Hoot are coming over." I sat down in the computer chair. "They all know about you guys so be prepared for an attack."

"That's not very reassuring." Sasori told me because he likes to be a downer.

I frowned at him. "You know what Sasori, you and I are going to fight later. I'm going to turn you into firewood." I paused. "That is not a pun on your red hair. I don't mean fire crotch."

He raised his eyebrows at me. "So that's not a sexual invitation like the one you extended to Itachi?" I just laughed when Pein and Konan looked disturbed.

"You wish you were that good looking." I jabbed. "Besides, I promised Kathryn she could have you since she wants your brat." I shook my head. "Anyways, that's beside the point."

"What the fuck is your point?" Hidan questioned.

"Have patience my dear Jashinist, patience." I soothed. "The point is, I'm having some people from school over, they know about you, two of them will probably try and rape you, and the other two are dudes so you won't have to worry about them trying to do anything to you." I sighed. "Don't kill them please; they're of the few people in this world that I love."

They all told me they wouldn't kill them; knowing I would resort to threats if they didn't.

"So when are they coming over?" Pein wondered.

I looked at my cell phone. "Actually, I'm going to pick up Kathryn and Courtney from school right now." I stood. "Who wants to come?"

Itachi, Kisame, Kakuzu, Hidan, Sasori, and Deidara all voiced their desire to accompany me on my quest to retrieve my friends from the fiery depths of hell that is my school. I assured Pein, Konan, Tobi, and Zetsu that we would be back and we departed.

We piled into the car, Itachi up front with me, Kisame and Deidara in the middle row while Kakuzu, Sasori, and Hidan sat in the very back. I told Deidara Kathryn would have to sit in his lap and I warned the others to leave room for Courtney.

When we got to the school, they still had a few minutes until dismissal so I parked my Hummer in the circle. I turned to face the guys. "Okay, fair warning, Courtney is a little boy crazy, so she'll be all over you guys." I pointed to Hidan. "No raping my friend."

"Fine." He pouted. "What if she wants it?"

I paused. "Try to sway her from it. But I guess I can't get mad at you if she's jumping down your throat. Please just don't do it in my room."

He laughed. "Deal."

"Good boy." I praised. "Now, It's 1:30, so they're just getting out." I flipped open my phone and called Courtney. She answered after a second.

"_Talk to me._" She said via speaker phone.

"Hey bitch, I'm out front. Get Kathryn and get out here." I told her.

"_Alright, we'll be out there in a second._" Her voice said.

I rolled my eyes. "A warning to you, Courtney. The gorgeous one with black hair is mine, the blond one is Kathryn's and the one with piercings is Konan's." I heard the others laugh. "Don't touch them, or I'll kill you. Also, try to keep from raping the loud mouth."

"_What are you talking about?_" She asked. I heard Kathryn laughing in the background.

"You'll see. Let Hoot know that I'm going to be waiting near his car so we can drive back together." I ordered. She said she would. "Come to the Hummer and we'll go meet up with Hoot." I hung up after that. A few minutes later they emerged from the school.

Kathryn and Courtney split up to go to different doors. Kathryn smiled when she saw Itachi in the front seat so she moved to the back. Kisame opened the door for her and got out so she could get on Deidara's lap.

"Kisame!" She said happily, hugging the shark.

"Hey there Kat, you're on Deidara's lap." Kisame laughed, patting her head.

"Kisame, get the fuck in here!" I hissed. "Someone is going to see you." He complied quickly as Courtney opened the other door near the empty seat.

"Alice, why are there hot guys in here that aren't Brett and Louis?" Courtney asked. "And why do they look like cosplayers?"

"I'll explain at home." I sighed. "Just get in the car and meet the guys." Courtney waited for Kathryn to get situated on Deidara before climbing in and shutting the door.

"Oh god, there's more of them!" She pointed out, looking over all of them. "Wait, is this what you meant on the phone?"

"Indeed." I confirmed when I put the Hummer in drive and went towards the student parking lot to hunt down Hoot's car.

She pointed at Deidara. "He's blond so he's Kathryn's." She looked around. She noticed Itachi. "Black hair…" When he looked around at her she gawked at him. "The gorgeous as hell one with black hair is yours." She shook her head.

"Yes, he's mine." I smirked. "I'd like to keep Kisame too, but I'll share him if he wants me too." I winked at said shark.

She looked around for Kisame who was laughing at my comment. "Hi, I'm Courtney."

Kisame waved his hand once in greeting. "Kisame."

She frowned. "Kisame… like Naruto Kisame?" She wondered, looking at me.

Kathryn nodded and hugged Deidara. "Yep, they're the sexy beasts from the show Naruto." Kathryn explained. "This is Deidara."

Courtney looked confused as hell as I pulled into a spot beside Hoot's car. I put it in park and waited for him. "Just go with it Courtney, I'll explain at home." She obeyed with a nod.

Kathryn pointed behind Deidara's head. "That's Sasori, Kakuzu, and Hidan." She addressed, pointing to each on in turn. "And that's Itachi." She pointed to Itachi.

"Pein, Konan, Tobi, and Zetsu are at home." I added. "Oh my Jashin… We're bringing Courtney home to meet Tobi."

Kathryn's eyes widened. "Oh god, you're going to die."

"What the fuck do you mean by that?" Hidan demanded too loudly from the back.

"Is he the loud mouth?" Courtney wondered, looking at Hidan with something close to hunger in her eyes.

"Yes Courtney, yes he is." I nodded.

"No fucking promises then. He's hot." She said grinning. "Hey."

"Hi." Hidan said, winking at her. "So Alice, what did you mean by that?"

I sighed. "Courtney is just as bad as Tobi when she's hyper, if not worse. I can't control her like I can him. Therefore, she's really bad."

I heard a knock on my window to see Erika waving at me. I rolled it down. "Hey guys, you ready to go?" I asked.

Hoot nodded as he unlocked his car. "Who all is in there?" He asked.

Courtney rolled down her window. "Hi guys!"

"Courtney, roll that thing up now!" I snapped. "You're encouraging the murders to do bad things." I shook my head as Hidan yelled at them.

"Hey fuckers!" He shouted, drawing ten other peoples' attentions to my car.

I sighed. "Just get in the car, you'll get to meet them when we get to my place. You'll be happy." I smiled at Seth. "Sethy-Poo, are you sure you don't want to ride with me? You'll have to sit on someone's lap but we can make it happen."

"No thank you." He laughed. "I don't want to die."

I shrugged. "Suit yourself." I waited for them to get in the car before rolling up my window and leading them from the parking lot.

"Who the fuck is Sethy-Poo?" Hidan demanded.

I glanced back at him. "He's a friend from school. I've known him since I was four." I smiled. "His favorite character is Zetsu."

"What a weirdo." Kakuzu commented.

"Hoot, the one with the beard, likes Kakuzu and Sasori the most. He likes Deidara too because he's a pyro." I informed them. "Erika, the other girl, favors Kisame and Pein."

"It's about time." Kisame said with a chuckle.

"You're Seth's second favorite. Seth just likes Zetsu because he thinks the fact that he argues with himself is hilarious." Kathryn told him.

"How is Kakuzu someone's favorite?" Hidan wondered.

"I'm not a dumbass like you." Kakuzu told him calmly.

Sasori shook his head. "How someone likes the Brat the most is beyond me. His sad excuse for art is just insulting."

"You're wrong, Danna, hm." Deidara snapped. "Art is fleeting, un."

"Art is eternal." Sasori growled.

"You're both idiots." I interrupted. "We're not having this conversation. Do it at home." I shook my head as Deidara mumbled fleeting and Sasori punched him in the back of the head, declaring that art was eternal. The argument continued despite what I said.

"I give up on life." I sighed, pulling into the condo complex. Itachi and Kisame chuckled at me. Kathryn was too busy petting Deidara and Courtney was flirting and drooling with and on Hidan to notice we were home. I got out of the car with those paying attention.

I walked a short distance away from the car and pressed the panic button. I heard Kathryn and Courtney scream before they all shot out of the car. I shook my head at them and watched Hoot pull into a spot next to my Hummer.

They got out of the car and stared at the guys massing behind me. Deidara was carrying Kathryn still, and Courtney had found a spot clinging to Hidan's arm. I rolled my eyes. "Come inside guys, I'll introduce you all and explain everything in there."

The three others nodded and I led my guests inside, calling to the other four Akatsuki members to see them come out of the kitchen. "Take your seats kiddies; we've got things to talk about. You're all going to have new friends by the end of the day."

* * *

_So I saw a hitchhiker yesterday... It was pretty amusing._

_He wore the strangest outfit I've ever seen..._

_But that's not important. What is important is that it's almost the weekend._

_I don't know about you guys, but I'm excited._

_Oh and I'd like to thank anime for helping me kick ass at our Academic Quiz Team scrimmage today. I swear I learn the most random facts ever from these shows..._

_Alright then, I'm out._

_Read and Review because you love me almost as much as I love you!  
_


	12. Chapter 12

_Because it's the weekend, I'll try to update today and tomorrow._

_Your guys' reviews honestly do make me happy:)_

_So thanks.  
_

_I don't own Naruto  
_

* * *

"You're telling me, these guys, your cats, are the members of the Akatsuki." Seth questioned. I nodded. He sat back in his chair and shook his head. "Well fuck…"

I laughed.

"You're telling me you call this kid Sethy-Poo?" Sasori questioned. "Did Kathryn name him? She seems to have a knack for picking awful names."

"Hey!" Kathryn protested. "You're a jerk, Danna." She cuddled to Deidara.

"You named Hidan Shiny and Sasori Loofa. I think he has a point." Kakuzu pointed out. When a few of us laughed, she just shrugged, accepting it.

"No Sasori, I picked the name forever ago." I giggled. "It just stuck. Don't worry, he hates it too." I grinned at Seth from my spot between Kisame and Itachi. I end up between them a lot. Maybe it's fate?

"That poor fucking kid..." Hidan said with a shake of his head.

"Normally, I would say you're a lying moron, but after seeing Deidara's hand, I just can't argue with that." Hoot said, shaking his head from his seat between Erika and Kakuzu.

"That was so awesome." Erika added.

"Not as awesome at Zetsu's plant thing." Seth challenged.

Zetsu looked in his direction. "**He better not be mocking me**."

"He's not, Zetsu. You're his favorite character." I told the plant man with a smile.

I noticed Pein and Konan stand after about ten minutes of casual talking. They went upstairs, Tobi trailing after them. I saw Zetsu phase into the wall a few minutes after them. I frowned but let it slide. I guessed that none of them wanted to be bothered by a room of kids.

Scratch that, Kakuzu is like a hundred and Sasori is in his thirties.

Courtney sighed and sprawled out on the floor. "I'm bored. Listening to Sasori and Deidara rant about art is so tiring."

"So think of something to do." Hidan told her.

She shot up. "Spin the bottle."

"Absolutely not." I said shortly. "As soon as you tell them what it is, they'll say no. There is no way. There are only four girls."

"Ask!" Courtney pouted. "Do you guys want to play spin the bottle?"

"What is that?" Itachi asked. I smacked my forehead.

Kathryn smirked. "Here, we'll demonstrate." She ran into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of water. "Kisame, chug this." She threw it at him.

He caught it easily and quickly downed the bottle. She smiled at him and grabbed the now empty bottle from him. She set it on the floor after pushing the table out of the way. "Everyone sit on the floor. Come on it won't burn your or anything."

I rolled my eyes and slid to the floor. Once everyone had taken a spot on the ground, she placed the bottle in the middle of our circle and grinned. "I'll show you. The person who spins the bottle has to make sure it goes in at least one full rotation." She waited for the bottle to stop. She smirked when it landed on me. I frowned at her.

"Whoever the bottle points to when it's done spinning is the person the spinner has to do something to. Usually, this game is limited to kissing, but since I know you boys would sooner die than kiss another guy, we'll change the rules up a bit." She crawled over to me and kissed my cheek. "I'm comfortable enough with my sexuality to where I'll kiss whoever the hell I want."

She sat back in her spot and looked at me.

"So, what are your boundaries, guys?" I asked, looking over the macho men sitting in a circle. "No kissing each other obviously. Hugs are a must, because some of you could use some. I say one confession or compliment to the other is the easiest I'll allow. It has to be nice." I looked at Kakuzu and Hidan. "You can't punch each other. You two are the most likely. And if any of you hurt Hoot and/or Sethy-Poo, I'll fucking skin your asses."

Erika giggled at me. "You're so serious Alice."

"Damn straight." I agreed. "If you're not comfortable kissing someone's lips, you can kiss their cheek or whatever. I don't care what you do."

"So who wants go first?" Kathryn asked, looking around. "Alright, I'll go first." She grabbed the bottle and span in, it flew around in its little spot before stopping on Sasori. She grinned and looked at the puppet. "Hello Danna."

He gave her a flat stare. "Why do I suddenly feel scared?" Kathryn crawled over Deidara to peck Sasori on the lips.

"That's probably because Kathryn's a creep." Hoot said boredly. Kathryn frowned at Hoot and stuck her tongue out at him.

"Asshole." She muttered. "It's your turn Sasori."

Sasori rolled his eyes and spun the bottle. His eyebrow visibly twitched when it landed on Kisame. Kisame looked frightened while Kathryn and I burst out laughing.

"I'm not kissing the shark." Sasori deadpanned.

"I'm not letting the puppet kiss me." Kisame declared.

I rolled my eyes. "Hug him then." Sasori glared at me while Kisame frowned at me. "Oh come on, hugs aren't that bad. It doesn't even have to be a good one."

Sasori grumbled. "Fine." He got up and appeared instantly beside Kisame. He put his arm over Kisame's shoulder and did a half-assed squeeze before appearing back in his spot. I nodded in approval.

"See? That wasn't so hard was it?" I teased. I ignored Sasori's glare and turned to Kisame who looked slightly disturbed. "It's your turn Kisame, dearest."

Kisame smirked at me before spinning the bottle. He raised his eyebrows when it landed on Itachi. Itachi looked over my head at the shark. "If you come near me, I'll kill you." He said calmly as if discussing the weather.

"Itachi just hug the man." I said with a laugh. Itachi gave his signature "Hn" before Kisame pushed me back so he could hug Itachi without getting up. I fell on the ground under the shark who pulled Itachi into a hug with a crafty grin.

"It's your turn now Itachi." Kathryn sang, hugging Deidara. I watched Itachi spin it, trying to guess who it would land on. It looked like it was about to land on Kakuzu, who was beside Itachi before I noticed the Uchiha twitch ever so slightly and the bottle moved, faster than it should have away from the miser.

Itachi stared at the bottle and smirked when it landed on me. I laughed, knowing he did it on purpose. "I like that bottle." I admitted loudly, turning to face my player of choice.

Itachi grabbed my chin and kissed me right on the lips, my eyes widened slightly when I felt his tongue graze my lower lip. I almost complied before I heard a throat clear. Itachi released me and I looked away as if nothing happened while Kathryn smiled her face off.

Hoot raised his eyebrows at me. "Somehow I take it that this has happened before."

I shook my head. "Not during spin the bottle. Truth or dare and my bedroom have nothing to do with it." I heard Kathryn burst out laughing while Itachi smirked.

I heard Hoot grumble something before ignoring the bearded teenager and spinning said bottle. I raised my eyebrows when it landed on Courtney. "Well this is awkward."

She giggled at me. "You've kissed me before Alice."

"Yeah, on the cheek, while protecting you from a pervert." I pointed out. "That's still funny by the way." She laughed with me, both of us remembering the event. I shrugged and crawled over to her. I pecked her on the cheek.

"What? No tongue?" Hidan demanded. "That's bullshit."

"You're bullshit." I told him seriously. "I'm not into females. You're lucky you even got that much." I sat back in my spot and leaned against Itachi while clutching Kisame's arm. "I enjoy penis, thank you very much."

"Then you'd fucking love mine." Hidan told me.

I shook my head. "I don't like a guy who is more into his religion than his personal hygiene; it's a big turn off." I shrugged. "Sorry." Everyone except for Itachi, Sasori, and Kakuzu laughed loudly. They don't do the emotion thing.

"You're going to regret that you fucking bitch." He snarled at me. I pretended to shiver.

Courtney rolled her eyes and twisted the bottle, making it spin. She watched it for a moment before smirking in victory when it landed on the zealot. "I've been waiting for this." She pressed her lips to Hidan, who responded after a moment of shock with furious passion.

I grabbed a pillow after a minute and hit Courtney with it. "Tame your inner whore you slut face." I snapped. She pulled away from the Jashinist with a satisfied sneer.

"That was totally worth it." She sighed dreamily.

I shook my head at her antics. "Go Hidan, before I kill her."

Hidan chuckled and did as instructed. He glared when it landed on Seth. Seth just made a disturbed face before chuckling awkwardly. Hidan stared him down, as if trying to make him disappear with the intensity of his glare.

"Hidan, you even think about hurting him, and I'll fucking kill your ass." I growled. "Give him a hug, or compliment him."

Hidan rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the severity of my threat. "I like your shirt." He said looking at Seth. Seth raised his eyebrows and looked down at said shirt. It was a normal black shirt with a faded silver eagle on it.

"Thanks?" He said with a laugh. "I like your shirt too." Hidan's shirt was red with "Fuck You" in large white letters.

Hidan grinned. "Thanks."

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Alright kids, bonding time is over so spin the bottle."

"There's no need to be so mean, Danna, un." Deidara told his partner as he cuddled with Kathryn. They were so cute. He had his arms wrapped around her as he leaned his weight into the beanbag. She was leaning into him, sitting between his legs, playing with his hand-mouths.

"Ah!" Kathryn exclaimed. She pointed to the mouth in his hand. "It bit me." She then burst into giggles. "I fucking love your hands."

"Thanks, yeah." He chuckled.

Seth laughed and continued the game, spinning the water bottle. He looked kind of awkward when it landed on me. He gave me a pleading smile, his eyes flickering to Itachi who I saw was staring Seth down.

"Awe, Sethy-Poo you're so cute when you're shy!" I said with a laugh. I sat up, releasing my Kisame, leaning closer to Seth. "I'll settle for a hug so I don't make it awkward." He breathed a sigh of relief and hugged me.

I smiled in approval and leaned back into my Uchiha. I span the bottle and raised my eyebrows when it landed on Kakuzu. "Well Kakuzu…"

He just looked at me with a smirk, wanting to see what I'd do.

"I guess I'm going for cheek?" I asked, mostly myself. I saw Itachi nod once before shrugging. He was alright with it so I guess I was.

I kissed the miser's cheek. "I love you Kakuzu." I threw in a hug as well. I really did like Kakuzu, I just happened to _love_ Itachi.

He chuckled at me as I sat back down. Kakuzu span it and it landed on Erika. She looked kind of surprised, but smiled at him warmly all the same.

"You're not going to flip a shit like Alice does are you?" Kakuzu asked her. She laughed and shook her head.

"No, though, if you do anything other than kiss or hug me, I'll kick your ass." She told him with a polite smile. Kakuzu raised his eyebrows in slight amusement.

"I freaking love you Erika." I laughed.

"You better." She told me.

I pointed to Erika. "I've known Erika my entire life, and she is the one person I would never want to fight. She could totally kick my ass." I announced to the room. Some of them looked quite shocked. I rolled my eyes at them and looked to the bottle victims.

Kakuzu kissed Erika on her lips, she looked at him. "That was quite nice." She smirked. "We should try that again some time."

Kakuzu chuckled. "Whatever you say…" He looked at me. "You're twice her size, what do you mean she could kick your ass?"

"Erika may not look like much, but she's actually quite a strong little girl. She's got a shit load of hidden power and her temper is worse than Alice's sometimes." Kathryn informed everyone. "Her punches hurt like shit too. Alice is stronger than her, but Erika is still a monster."

"Plus I could never bring myself to hurt her." I admitted. "I love her too much."

"Awe, I love you too Alice." She smiled at me and spun the bottle. It landed on Deidara.

Kathryn smirked. "You can kiss him, I won't bite you."

Erika smiled. "I'll go for the cheek." She kissed Deidara's cheek before returning to her spot between Hidan and Hoot.

"She needed your permission, un?" Deidara asked in an amused tone.

Kathryn grinned at him. "Well, yes. You're mine. I called dibs."

"I'm a possession, un." Deidara sighed.

I laughed and pointed at him. "Now you know how it feels!" Suddenly I was being hugged by Itachi, who snatched me away from Kisame.

"Mine." He said shortly, resting his chin on my head.

Kisame chuckled. "Not in bed she's not." Bickering ensued.

"Oh Jashin." I sighed. "And so it begins…" I looked to Deidara. "Spin the damn bottle."

He complied, chuckling when it landed on Sasori. He grabbed his Danna and pulled him into a crushing hug. I ignored the stare down between my two bed buddies to laugh at the artists.

"Release me now, Brat." Sasori growled. "I'll cut those arms of yours off if you do that again." He glared at the bomber.

"I was just playing the game, Danna, yeah." Deidara shrugged, latching back onto Kathryn who was giggling madly at her terrorist and his Danna.

"It's your turn, Sasori." Kakuzu told him. Sasori sighed and went on with the game.

His eyes narrowed when it landed on me.

"Is that fucking bottle glued to me?" I asked. I turned to glare at Itachi. "You cursed it when you cheated the first time."

"I did no such thing." He said seriously.

"This is ridiculous." I sighed. "Get over here Sasori."

He raised his eyebrows. "Why should I?"

"So we can get this damn game over with!" I snapped. "I'm coming to you if you don't hurry your shit up."

"I'm terrified." He deadpanned. I threw a pillow at his face. He dodged it, damn ninja.

I extricated myself from Itachi's grip and marched over to the puppet. I knelt in front of him. "Do your worst, puppet man."

His eyes drifted to Itachi before he pecked me on the cheek. "There, now go and sit down." I rumpled his hair. He looked murderous.

"You're such a good boy, Sasori." I praised, heading back to the safety of my weasel and my shark. They would protect me from the scorpion.

Spinning the bottle, I waited for it to stop, wondering who it would land on. I laughed when it hit Kisame. "Yes! I get the shark!" I latched onto Kisame and lightly kissed him quickly right on the lips. He seemed slightly shocked that I would do that, but got over it.

"Itachi and Kisame are both mine, therefore, I kiss them both." I announced. I kissed Itachi's cheek. "No one else is worthy of my lips."

"Awe, why just limit it to them." Hoot asked as Kisame span the bottle.

I frowned at him and opened my mouth to respond when Kathryn answered for me. "That's because you're an asshole." Oh yeah, Kathryn doesn't like Hoot that much.

"Be nice." I scolded, noticing the bottle landed on her. I looked at Kisame who leaned over with all his tall blueness and kissed her cheek.

Kathryn giggled. "Kisame is so sweet."

"Isn't he though?" I asked for emphasis as I hugged my favorite blue person. He responded with a gentle chuckled and patted my head.

"Go Kathryn." Sasori said boredly.

Kathryn's spin landed on Hoot. She stared at him. "I like how you're always nice to Alice." She looked away, satisfied that her turn was over.

Hoot just raised his eyebrows. "Why wouldn't I be nice to her?"

She stared at him. "Well, because you're an idiot." She said it as if it was a perfect answer. I just shook my head at her.

"Explain to me how I'm an idiot." Hoot asked boredly.

Kathryn opened her mouth to retaliate with what I _know_ would have shut Hoot up and confused the hell out of him. Kathryn is a genius when she needs to be. And that would have been one of those times.

"That's enough." I said with an eyebrow twitch. "Stop arguing." I looked at Kathryn. "Be nice, please."

"Why am I the only one getting scolded?" She pouted.

"You interrupted me before I could scold him." I snapped. I turned to Hoot when she gestured for me to continue. "Don't challenge her. You know she'll fight back."

"She called me an idiot." He grumbled.

"Sometimes you are one, Hoot." I said with a smile. "But so is she." I shook my head. "Just spin the bottle, I'm getting annoyed."

"I couldn't tell." Courtney said sarcastically.

"I'll fucking fight you, Courtney," I growled. She whimpered and hid behind Hidan. "Honestly, why can't you guys be good like Seth and Erika?"

"I'm not fucking doing anything." Hidan snapped.

I sighed. "You weren't included in that. You're being very good actually. Thank you. Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, Kakuzu, and Kisame are also being very well behaved."

"Oh." He said quietly. Courtney quietly squealed about how cute he was before kissing him thoroughly. Hoot, thankfully, complied with my earlier request at keeping the game moving.

It slowed, round the corner. "If that little fucker lands on me, I'm throwing it out a window." I snarled. Sure enough, it landed right on me. "Fuck me…"

I heard a chuckle and saw Itachi watching me with a smirk on his face. I growled and snatched the bottle before standing up, grabbing Deidara. "Come with me, we're burning things and I need a pyro."

He looked reluctant at first but after hearing my purpose, followed me without complaint. "Are we done playing, un?" He questioned. Kathryn skipped after to the backyard with Erika and Seth following. Soon, everyone else got up to head outside.

"I think we should stop." I told him, digging around in the drawer of the kitchen, looking for a lighter. I exclaimed loudly when I found it before marching away. "It'll get really awkward if we continue any further, that, and I was getting bored and irritated."

"I think other people were too, yeah." Deidara informed me. "Kathryn doesn't like that Hoot guy does she?" He watched me grab a roll of paper towels before heading towards the laundry room.

"Not really. She doesn't like his personality. The only reason she deals with him, is because I'm really good friends with him, and he's nice to me." I explained.

"Ah." Deidara said with a nod. He was such a cutie.

I smirked. "Let's go start a fire." I grabbed some lighter fluid and we marched out to the fire pit Kathryn was already getting chairs out for. She got enough for all of us and placed them in a circle a safe distance from a large pile of wood.

I hugged Seth from behind and handed him the roll of paper towels. "You can eat these." He made a face and I laughed, making him laugh too.

I held my mini-flamethrower (actually just a lighter) up the bottle and began setting the plastic contraption of doom on fire. It melted nicely. I smirked in victory as it crumbled and eventually dropped to the ground.

I set some paper towels on fire and eventually got the fire to start up. I dragged some of the unoccupied chairs away and advised everyone to get back before grabbing the lighter fluid. "Deidara, come play with me."

Deidara came over as I squirted the flames with the lighter fluid, making them shoot up. A pleased, childish grin spread across his face as he watched the flames flare with light. "Give me that, yeah."

I surrendered the bottle and told him to have fun but not to kill anything. After making him pinky promise, I set the terrorist loose. Kathryn giggled, watching her blond partner act like a very pleased five year old at a toy store.

* * *

_So, to pick the victims of StB, I put all of the names in the hat and I drew out the spinner and the victim._

_I picked Alice a lot, hence why the bottle hit her a lot. The time where it supposedly moved on it's own, I drew out both Kakuzu and Alice's name. They were stuck together._

_I hung out with "Kathryn" last night, and she helped me brain storm for the next chapter. So that's why it might be a bit different._

_Ah well._

_Good day my lovelies.  
_


	13. Chapter 13

_My friend who helped me brainstorm for this one._

_I'm not much on deep emotions so I had to get her to help me out._

_That's why this one is a bit different. _

_I apologize beforehand for any OOCness that may occur. I did my best to prevent that from happening._

_Anyways, I don't own the Akatsuki.  
_

* * *

A few hours later, and it was time for my friends from school to head home. It was a school night after all. I sighed, throwing myself on the empty couch after seeing them to Hoot's car. He offered to take Courtney home though I was going too. She lived near him so it was fine by me as long as everyone got home safely.

I felt something petting me so I cracked open my eyes to see Kathryn. I raised my eyebrows at her. "You look tired."

"What gave you that idea?" I asked sarcastically with a sigh. "Never suggest inviting people over again. It's too much work with the Akatsuki here. Feeding everyone is a bitch."

She smiled. "You and Itachi seem to be getting along." She smirked when I rolled my eyes. It was rather obvious, considering we were kind of glued to each other all day.

"I could say the same about you and Deidara." I retorted. She had been latched onto the blond since she got out of school. "You both are so perfect for each other it is unreal. You guys are like the same person, just opposite genders."

"He's more blond." She told me with a smile. "You and Itachi are the cutest thing ever. Better than you and Seth. It's like a match made in heaven."

"Kathryn…" I sighed, a thought just hitting me. "What are we going to do when they leave?" I saw her face fall. "When they go back to their world?"

"They aren't going to." She told me seriously.

I scoffed. "They can't exactly stay here forever." I shook my head. "Do you realize how much this could affect the balance in their world? I had to keep Kisame from reading some chapters." I frowned. "They're all going to die if they go back."

"No they aren't." Kathryn said firmly. I heard her voice waver ever so slightly. It was something only I would have been able to detect. "We'll keep them here."

"Good luck with that." I told her without humor.

She shook her head and grabbed my arm, pulling me up. "Come on, everyone is outside waiting." I nodded with a sigh and followed after her.

I froze slightly when I saw them all. My kitties had no idea what lie ahead of them should they return to their world. Every single one of them besides Madara and Zetsu would die. I frowned, watching Kathryn attack Deidara with love. I saw Kisame laughing at a smirking Itachi, enjoying some joke I missed.

Hidan and Kakuzu were arguing as usual, but both of them were supporting smiles. Those smiles would eventually be gone. Sasori was arguing about art with Deidara when Deidara made the flames spike slightly using a bit of lighter fluid. They wouldn't get to do that soon.

I closed my eyes. They didn't know that one by one, they would be picked off, dying for a cause that would never be made reality. They all looked so happy. Though, they were all so far away from their home in a strange world, they looked, relaxed. They appeared almost at ease.

"Alice?" I heard a calm voice ask. I snapped back to reality to see Itachi standing in front of me, looking concerned.

"Yeah?" I asked. I looked into his onyx eyes. I could see his death play in my mind's eye. Damn that Sasuke, damn him for taking away someone so kind and caring.

He touched my face. "Are you alright?" He gazed into my eyes, concern lining his perfect face. How could anyone be so nice and just all around perfect?

I smiled at him. "Yeah, I'm fine." I lied. "Just a bit tired." I could tell he knew I was lying. However, he didn't challenge me.

"Alright." He nodded. I was pulled into a warm embrace. I sighed and smiled despite the sadness welling up in me. I returned the hug, burying my face into his sculpted chest. "Why don't you come to the fire? Deidara is about out of lighter fluid so it's safe."

I laughed, squeezing him lightly. "That sounds good." I let him go reluctantly and walked over to the fire with him. I saw Kathryn giving me a concerned look as I sat between the Uchiha and Kisame. Kisame kissed the top of my head when I sat beside him and I smiled in response.

"What the fuck took you?" Hidan demanded, looking at me.

"I was thinking." I admitted.

He shook his head. "You were fucking standing in the damn darkness like a creep."

I giggled. "Sorry about that. I just had a few things to think about."

"You seem down." Kakuzu pointed out, watching me. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened." I told him truthfully. "I honestly just got lost in thought."

Kathryn looked at me. "Did Hoot try and pull anything?" She asked, saving me.

I smiled. "No, Hoot didn't do anything. He was too afraid of Itachi and Kisame." I saw them both smirk in approval. They were both jealous and possessive people. Silly boys... :)

Kathryn jumped as her phone went off. She flipped it open and frowned. "Alice the jackass just sent me a text message."

"Which one?" I asked, wondering which jackass she was referring too.

"Adam." She said his name as if it burned her tongue.

I frowned. "Why?"

She shook her head. "He wants to know if you're here by yourself."

"Tell him I'm not." I told her.

"Obviously." Kathryn said with an eye roll. "I told him I was here with you and your boyfriends."

"Boyfriends?" I repeated, noting the plural.

She dipped her head. "Yeah, they are boys, and they are friends." She smirked. "It's just that some of them just so happen to have benefits."

I sighed. "I love your logic."

"Who doesn't?" She asked with a giggle. She frowned and looked at her phone again. "He said he wants to talk to you. He's asking for your number."

"Don't give it to him. I had to change it after breaking up with him." I sighed. "That guy is such a pain in the ass."

"I'll say." Kathryn agreed. "I told him he was an asshole and that he could suck my metaphorical dick because I wasn't giving him your number."

I smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too." Kathryn returned my smile. She sighed and leaned into Deidara. "I don't want to go to school tomorrow."

"I don't either." I admitted. "I can't wait until Friday."

"Me neither, then we'll have the weekend to be surrounded by sexiness." She grinned. She looked around in confusion. "Where is everyone else?"

"Who?" Hidan inquired.

She looked around. "Pein, Konan, Zetsu, and Tobi?"

"What are you going on about? They've been upstairs since you got back from school." I told her. "You're just oblivious aren't you?"

"Don't be mean." She pouted. "I was occupied. Not to mention, Tobi is like the only one who talks out of those four. But he's been absorbed in your bribe candy."

"That's true." I nodded. "I saw them head up stairs like ten minutes after we got back."

Sasori sighed. "They're probably trying to figure out how to reverse this so we can go home." I stiffened.

Kathryn frowned and turned to stare at Deidara. "If you go home, you better stay away from Gaara and Sasuke. Do you understand me?" She looked at Sasori. "Don't you even dare go near him. Stay away from the leaf village too."

I smacked my forehead. "Damn it Kathryn, you can't tell them stuff like that."

"Why? What does she mean, un?" Deidara wondered looking at Kathryn. "What's going to happen if we do, hmm?"

I sighed. "Well you might as well tell them now you dumbass."

Kathryn tightened her grip on the bomber's arm. "You lose your arms fighting Gaara and the leaf." She looked at Sasori. "You die fighting your granny and Sakura." She closed her eyes and buried her face into Deidara's arm. "You blow yourself up in an attempt to kill Sasuke."

Every ninja around the fire looked shocked.

"All of you die." I continued. I bit my tongue when I heard Kathryn's quiet sobs. She had finally broke. She had cried while watching the show, and now that she actually knew them, there was no chance in hell she wasn't going to cry. "The only ones who don't are Tobi and Zetsu." I feel them all staring at me so I looked down.

"How…?" Hidan asked, looking thoroughly surprised.

I explained all of their deaths, leaving out the finer details of Itachi's for his own sake as well as who killed Konan because I'm pretty sure that would lead to a very gruesome fight and death. They all looked rather annoyed when I finished.

"We should inform Leader-sama." Kisame said, looking at me.

Kakuzu looked to Hidan. "So starvation? Maybe I'll try that."

I threw a stick at his head. "Don't you even think about it." I shook my head. "I don't want any of you to get hurt. Hate each other or not, you guys are partners."

Itachi grabbed my hand when my knuckles turned white from clenching it. I haven't cried since my friend Jason died. This was the first time since then that I had to hold back the tears threatening to spill. I had always prided myself on my abilities to hide my emotions. But this was difficult.

Sasori stood. "Come on guys, we need to talk to Pein." Deidara stood next, wrapping his arms around a still crying Kathryn who was clutching onto him. She grabbed Sasori's hand when she stood as if making sure he wasn't going to disappear. I saw him squeeze it lightly.

"Well this is ironic." I admitted as I too stood. I felt Itachi wrap his arms around me.

"What do you mean?" He whispered. Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu paused on their way towards the house to look at me.

I sighed. "I was actually thinking about this when I was standing over there in the darkness like a creep." I hugged him back. "So I was lying when I said I was fine, just tired."

He kissed my forehead. "It'll be alright." He told me quietly as the others went towards the house to talk with Pein.

"Please don't follow through with your plan for Sasuke. You'll be doing it in vain. Madara gets a hold of him and he vows to crush the leaf village." I begged. "Don't throw your life away for Sasuke, Itachi." I paused as something broke my sad mood. "Wait a tick… what about your sickness?"

He raised his eyebrow and tilted his head. "Oddly enough, I've been wondering about that for a while. I haven't come up with any answers as to why I'm not having any of the symptoms."

"Let's just hope it stays that way." I sighed with relief. I took his hand and began pulling him towards the house. "You better not let Sasuke kill you Itachi."

He smiled and squeezed my hand. "I promise."

"Good boy." I praised, opening the door and allowing him to enter first. We walked into the living room just as Pein, Konan, and Tobi took their seats.

"What's going on?" Pein asked.

"It seems like the brats have some valuable information." Kakuzu droned, gesturing towards me and Kathryn. Kathryn was still clutching onto Deidara and, from a slight distance, Sasori. I sighed and stepped forward.

"Well, when I told you before that I knew a lot about you guys, I wasn't exaggerating." He raised his eyebrows at me. "Kathryn and I both know which of the Akatsuki die, when they die, and how they die." I sighed.

"Who all dies?" Konan asked, shock was written on her face and lacing her voice.

"Everyone except Tobi and Zetsu." I informed them.

Pein's eyes narrowed. "How do we die?"

Cue gigantic explanation of everyone's death. I rushed over Itachi's death since I'm sure he didn't want anyone to know the truth of the massacre or himself. I also left out details of Nagato and Madara again.

Pein was quiet for a moment after I finished. He ran his hand down his face. "That fucking sucks."

I laughed, dropping on my knees and holding my face in my hands. I was totally not expecting him to react like that, but when he did, it totally killed my depressed mood. Kathryn even giggled into Deidara's chest.

They all looked at me like I was insane when I finished my episode. I stood up and brushed myself up like nothing happened. "I was not expecting him to say that." I giggled again. "Pein just isn't the kind of person to say stuff like that so it caught me off guard."

Zetsu looked at me. "Is there any way **to avoid this shit**?" He asked

I tilted my head at him. "Well, now that you know all the details, you can avoid these situations. Also, none of your enemies can kill you if you don't go back." I crossed my arms. "I personally vote for the second option."

"Why?" Sasori questioned for Kathryn and Deidara's side.

I smiled at him. "I love _all_ you guys. I'd rather you stay here with me and be safe than risking your lives by going back. You're all more than welcome to live here."

"We haven't even been thinking about a way back. We don't even know if we can." Kisame pointed out. "So you're alright for a while."

"Yeah, no fuckers here could even hope to kill us." Hidan said proudly.

Kathryn glanced at him. "Whether you go back or not, if any of you fucking get killed I'll bring you back from the dead and torture your ass to death." She poked Deidara. "If you even consider blowing yourself up, even as a last resort, I'll let Sasori turn you into his art. Do you understand me?"

Deidara chuckled and hugged her. "I understand. I promise I won't."

"Good." She muttered into his chest. She glared next at Itachi. "_YOU_ better not let Sasuke kill you." She pointed at me. "I don't need her crying. She only has once since I've known her, and if you make her do it, I'll totally rip you to pieces."

He looked at Kathryn. "I won't." I felt him weave his arm around my waist and pull me closer. Kathryn seemed content at this.

"Good boys." She nuzzled Deidara. "None of you are allowed to get hurt if you leave us to go back to your world. Pein, Konan, Kisame, Itachi, Kuzu, Hidan, Sasori, and Dei: no dying."

* * *

_So I've go a few requests to put some ZetsuXTobi and some KakuHida in here._

_I want you to know that I'm working on it and it'll be incorporated in here later. However, it won't be anything huge._

_There will be snide little hints and maybe a stumble upon. I've actually thought of a few good ideas for those._

_Also, the next chapter will be back to the same old sarcastic fun style. The lack of skill in deep things just shows how inept I am at talking about emotions outside my general spectrum._

_Ah well._

_Read and Review because then I'll love you forever.  
_


	14. Chapter 14

_I wasn't going to post this today because I kind of wanted to be lazy, but I decided against it._

_Why?_

_Because I love you._

_Fair warning, I'm writing a big A/N at the bottom.  
_

_Anyways, I do not own Naruto, but I do own a tin Harry Potter lunchbox. It has Snape and Bellatrix on it with a thermos with Draco on it inside. I LOVE it.  
_

* * *

The school days came and went until finally it was Friday. I don't know about you guys, but Friday is my second favorite day of the week behind Saturday.

Nothing eventful happened throughout the week except for massive movie marathons. Hidan loves horror films, Kisame loves comedies, and surprisingly Kakuzu and Sasori thought any movie with slight romance was the funniest thing in the world. Both usually stoic killers were cracking up about the mushiness of some of the scenes. Konan loved Disney movies, something I was totally not expecting.

Itachi was enthralled with Harry Potter, Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings. Deidara loved Pearl Harbor because of all of the explosions. Zetsu loved Avatar and Tobi accused Kisame of being a Pandora native. Pein of course was indifferent, but he seemed more interested in the movies that Itachi also enjoyed. I think it's because they both have similar personalities.

Currently, Kathryn and I were sitting downstairs on the couches with Itachi, Kisame, Deidara, Sasori, Kakuzu, and Hidan watching SpongeBob. We all just returned from getting Kathryn from school, and we were now just lazing around, relaxing quietly.

Kind of…

"Why the hell does that guy sleep under a fucking rock?" Hidan demanded when Patrick emerged from his rock house to run to SpongeBob's house. "And how the fuck is a pineapple a house?"

"It's just a TV show, Hidan. There is nothing realistic about it." I informed him.

"That pink star is an idiot." Sasori pointed out as Patrick ran into something.

Kakuzu frowned when Patrick and SpongeBob hugged. "Are they gay? Or mentally challenged?"

"They are mentally challenged, yes. Gay… I'm not entirely sure." I admitted. "It's a TV show, don't take anything literally."

"What the hell is a squirrel doing underwater, un?" Deidara demanded.

I smacked my forehead and Kathryn giggled. "I give up."

Itachi squeezed me to get my attention. "How is a whale the offspring of a crab?"

"That fucking crab is just like Kakuzu!" Hidan exclaimed.

"Holy shit, that lobster is huge!" Kisame laughed, pointing at Larry.

"That squid has no talent." Kakuzu droned.

Kathryn and I looked at each other as said squid explained that he was a brilliant artist and proceeded to show SpongeBob and Patrick his "collection".

"That is _not_ art!" Sasori and Deidara said in unison. Deidara added his typical "un" but the meaning was the same.

They looked at each other. "For once I agree with you, Brat." Sasori said.

"That is an insult to art, un. I agree with you, Danna, yeah." Deidara nodded.

"They're so cute." Kathryn told me with a happy grin as she hugged Deidara and kissed his and Sasori's cheeks. They both paused in their discussion about how they agreed that wasn't art to look at her in confusion.

"Oh my god. That crab _is _just like Kakuzu." Kisame gasped. He looked at Kakuzu. "Was his character modeled after you?"

"Fuck you, you damn shark." Kakuzu snapped. "The crab just has his priorities straight. How the hell he had a whale as a kid I'm still not sure though."

"I have yet to see a purpose to this show." Itachi deadpanned.

"You know what, I give up. We aren't watching this anymore." I sighed, getting up from my spot from between Itachi and Hidan to go turn off the television. "There, now we can just sit here in silence."

I returned to my spot and snuggled with my weasel. He wrapped his arms around me happily and rested his chin on my head. Hidan crossed his arms with a huff and leaned against me to try and get comfortable.

I heard a few more loud sighs from the others as the silence continued. I mentally counted down from three.

_3…2…1_

"Damn it, I'm bored." Kathryn said loudly, breaking the silence.

_Bingo, good call me._

Sasori looked towards her from his spot between her and Kakuzu on the other couch. "What should we do then?"

Kathryn sat up and looked at me. "What can we do?"

I shrugged. "We can do whatever you want, babe."

"Can we go to the park? No one ever goes there this time of year." She pointed out. "It'll let them blow off some steam. Come on, it's literally on the other side of the woods. We don't even have to drive. We can walk."

"Alright, fine." I told her. "I'll go and ask Pein, Konan, Zetsu, and Tobi." I sighed. "If you want to wear shoes, go ahead and get them. It's literally on the other side of the woods behind my fence." They all told me they would do just fine without shoes. Stupid ninjas…

"Zetsu and Tobi get to go?" Kathryn questioned.

"I feel bad about keeping them cooped up in here. No one ever goes to the park this time of year, or day, so they'll be alright. We'll just make sure to keep them away from the track, and the street. If they even want to go that is."

I got up from my spot and walked up the stairs, calling for the ninja. "Hey, Tobi, Zetsu, Konan, Pein, I have a question."

The door to Brett and Louis's room opened and Konan stuck her head out. "What is it? Is everything okay?"

I smiled at her. "Everything is fine. We're all bored so we were going to go to the park on the other side of the woods." I pointed in its direction. "I wanted to know if you four wanted to come with us. No one will see you so all of you can go."

"**I don't want to go.**" Zetsu told me from beside the bed. "I'm fine here."

"I felt bad about keeping Zetsu and Tobi cooped up in here." I admitted. "But if you don't want to go, I don't mind. I just wanted you to have the option."

Konan smiled kindly at me. "It's alright, they don't mind. We're just going to stay here, alright?" I saw Pein nod in confirmation from the bed.

I shrugged. "That's fine. I'll make dinner when we come back. I'll see you guys later."

"Bye Alice, tell them we said to behave." Konan said sweetly.

"Oh they will. I'll destroy them if they don't." I told her as I walked down the stairs. I heard the door close again when I discovered the others lined up at the bottom of the stairs. "You know I assumed at least Zetsu would want to go. You know, since there're plants everywhere."

"They're all fucking weird." Hidan told me. I smiled at him.

"Alright lovelies, let's get moving." I told them, stepping into my shoes and grabbing my jacket from near the bottom of the steps. I led them to the back door and walked to the backyard, heading straight for the back of the fence. I paused when I got there.

"Who wants to help me and Kathryn jump this fucker?" I asked, patting the fence good naturedly. "Then we'll just have to walk through some woods and we'll be at our destination."

Itachi scooped me up in his arms, just as Deidara picked up Kathryn and they jumped over the fence with extreme ease. The other ninjas followed, not at all phased by the height of the privacy fence.

"Stupid ninjas…" I muttered as Itachi set me down. I huffed when he smirked at me and began marching towards the park.

Did you guys know I'm an extreme klutz? Well I am.

I tripped in my effort to look disgruntled and almost face planted into the ground. "Fuck." I muttered before I realized someone had caught me. I looked over my shoulder to see my savor was the most beautiful thing ever.

Itachi Uchiha.

And his lips were centimeters from mine when I looked back at him. On cue, I blushed and smiled at him. That damned Uchiha and his ability to make me act like a love struck girl.

"Thanks." I told him quietly. My eyes drifted to his lips which were twitching with amusement. He totally noticed my blush. Stupid, observant, hot, drool-inducing male…

He smirked at me. "Hn."

"Will you two quit ogling at each other and come on?" Sasori growled. "Honestly, you're almost as bad as Deidara and Kathryn."

I smiled and closed the distance between our lips for a second in a thank you kiss. "Of course Sasori, how selfish of me." Itachi helped me to my feet with a smirk and held my hand as I turned back towards the park and continued on my way.

"That's what she gets for trying to act mad and not watching where she's going." Kathryn sang as she walked behind me with Deidara and Sasori.

"Oh shut up Kathryn. You busted all the cartilage in your knee by tripping over your own feet on a flat surface." I reminded her. "There was a stick in my way."

"Really? You're a fucking klutz, Kathryn." Hidan laughed. "You're not too much better though, Alice." He added. He and Kakuzu were bringing up the rear. Kisame walked beside me and Itachi, chuckling at me and Kathryn.

I sighed with relief as we emerged from the trees to walk straight into the park. "Ah! Freedom!" I held my hands up, bringing Itachi's up with me and snatching Kisame's on the way.

Kathryn ran underneath our raised hands, tugging Deidara with her. He was clocked in the head when Kisame brought our hands down to catch him.

"Ouch, un." He grumbled. "Damn shark, hmm."

"Awe, don't be mean to him." I pouted, pulling Kisame closer to me to hug him with one arm. "He's such a sweetheart." I released him before pointing towards the park. "Go play!"

Kathryn yelled something about the playground and took off in its direction. Deidara called for her to wait up before jogging after her with a chuckle. I glanced at Itachi and he shrugged before we both set off for the ground of play.

"How old is she?" Sasori questioned rhetorically as Kathryn scrambled onto the really nice and stocked play set. It was one of those really nice ones and it was obviously well cared for. I giggled at his sarcasm.

"Technically she's sixteen. But she has the mind of a six year old." I informed him. "That's why I act so motherly."

His eyebrows rose. "That explains it."

I pulled Itachi after me, heading for the swings. Hidan and Kisame were already making their way towards the play set, seeing Kathryn climbing on top of the tunnel slide to escape Deidara. I sighed and took a swing; Itachi took the one next to me, smirking at my reaction.

"You aren't going to go and play?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes at him as Sasori took a seat on the swing on my other side. "I don't have that much energy."

"Thankfully." Kakuzu admitted while he leaned against a pole. "Do you think she'll fall?" He gestured at Kathryn who was _on top_ of the _entire_ play set. It was quite a height.

"Kathryn you get your ass down from there right now young lady!" I shouted, pointing to the ground. She had the worse balance ever so I was instantly in mother mode.

"I don't wanna!" She shouted back, clutching the flagpole she was using for balance.

"Deidara you get her down from there right now." I ordered. "She'll fucking fall and I am _not _paying for a hospital bill. Hidan, Kisame, you help him."

"Yes _mom_." Hidan called. He laughed at my glare and walked to the other side of the play set to help Deidara get Kathryn. She was clutching the flagpole, screaming at Deidara to leave her alone. She was kicking his hand.

I smacked my forehead. "Sasori, will you hold her still with your jutsu?"

He chuckled. "I will it looks like she'll fall. I want to watch this."

I rounded on him, only to be looking straight into Itachi's face. He smiled at me and put his hand over my mouth. "Don't worry love, none of us will let her get hurt. We just want to watch this. She'll be fine, Alice."

I nodded; taken aback by the fact he called me "love", and the fact that he was actually smiling. I blushed behind his hand and stared at him in a daze as he removed his hand with a smile. He's lucky he's so fucking adorable. He put me back in my swing and took his own. He brought me closer to him and held my hand while we watched Kathryn's antics.

"No! Bad Hidan!" She shouted, hitting Hidan with her shoe as he tried to climb up there with her. "My roof, get off!"

"Ouch, damn it! Don't fucking hit my knuckles." He snarled. He pulled his hand off the roof to shake the pain from it. Kathryn took her chance and pushed his other hand off, sending him to the floor of the play set. "Ouch you bitch!"

"Score one Kathryn, Hidan zero!" She announced happily.

Kisame meanwhile was trying to climb up behind her while Hidan and Deidara distracted her. His head poked over the side and he managed to get himself in position to hoist himself up there with her before she took notice of him.

"AH!" She screamed, hitting him in the head with her shoe. "SHARK ATTACK!"

Kisame retreated under her assault, going back down to Hidan's level. I meanwhile, was laughing at her reaction until I saw she was hitting Kisame.

"Kathryn, do not hit my Kisame damn it!" I ordered. She looked back towards me and stuck her tongue out at me.

"I do what I want, bitch!" She called.

"Do it Deidara, she's nuts." Kisame told him.

Deidara smirked. "Alright." He walked away from the tower she was on so he could look at her. "Hey Kathryn!" He called.

She looked down at him. "Yes beautiful?" She wondered. "You're so cute!"

"I'll kiss you if you come down, un. I miss you, yeah." He told her with a slight pout on his face. I knew he won when he did that. Kathryn was such a pushover for pouting faces.

Kathryn melted. "Awe!" She squealed. "Okay!" Then she jumped.

"Kathryn you're a fucking moron!" I shouted, watching her fall to her death.

I fell on the ground in a faint when Kisame caught her in the nick of time. I rolled on my back and stared at the sky, thanking any and all gods for Kisame.

"Alice, are you alright?" Itachi demanded, kneeling beside me, his face and voice lined with worry because of my sudden fall.

"Is Kathryn okay?" I inquired.

Itachi looked in Kathryn's direction for a moment before looking back at me. "She's absolutely fine. Kisame caught her."

"Someone fucking bring her over here." I growled. "I'm going to kill her."

Itachi smiled at my reaction and helped me to my feet. I turned slowly, to glare at Kathryn who was being fussed over by Deidara and Hidan. She paused in telling them she was fine to look in my direction, feeling my stare.

"I'm in trouble." She squeaked. She made Kisame put her down as I began sprinting in her direction. She took off, running away from me.

She tripped over her own foot and stumbled long enough for me to tackle her to the ground. I punched her in the shoulder and the stomach, causing her to yelp in pain.

"You fucking dumbass!" I growled at her. "Do you have any idea how scared you just made me? If it wasn't for Kisame you could have broken your neck!" I stood up and forcibly lifted her off the ground. I shoved her towards the shark.

"Get on your knees and thank him for your life you moron. You owe him your soul right now." I shouted. All of the ninja were looking at me through wide, scared eyes.

Kathryn hugged Kisame's leg, hoping it would protect her from me.

I jumped when I felt arms around me. I saw Itachi standing beside me and I narrowed my eyes at him. "Can I help you?"

"I think you need to calm down, Alice." Itachi soothed.

"I will not fucking calm down." I growled. I pointed at Kathryn. "Hidan, sacrifice her to Jashin right now!" I shook my head and turned my finger to Kisame. "Make him bless everything Kisame is." Hidan looked shocked and Kathryn squeaked in fear. Kisame was just rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

"You!" I shouted, pointing at Kathryn again. "No Deidara or Sasori for a week!"

Her eyes widened. "Alice I'm sorry!" I meant serious business.

"Sorry doesn't solve everything, Kathryn." I snapped.

"Alice, you need to relax." Itachi said calmly, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me into a hug.

I opened my mouth to retort, only to be silence by his lips. I almost protested before I realized what was going on, and relaxed into the gesture, returning it willingly.

After a moment, he released me. "Better?"

"Much." I sighed. "Thank you."

"Anytime." He said with a smirk. He loosened his grip on me so I could face Kathryn.

I glared at her. "You're lucky Itachi is here." I informed her. "You owe him big time now too." I made to walk over there but was restrained by a cautious Uchiha. He let me go after I assured him I wasn't going to kill Kathryn.

I walked away from him and towards Kisame. Kathryn whimpered and fled, hiding behind Kakuzu as I approached. I glared at her hidden figure before hugging Kisame.

"Thank you. I almost had a heart attack." I told him, attempting to wrap my arms around his giant form. He chuckled and returned my embrace.

"You're welcome Alice. None of us would have let Kathryn get hurt." He told me with a pat on the head. "None of us were expecting her to jump of course…"

"Dumbass." I grumbled.

"But someone would have caught her either way." Kisame continued.

I pulled away from him and glared at Kathryn. "I hope you know now Kathryn that if you ever do something like that again, I won't hesitate to kill your ass."

She nodded her head from behind Kakuzu before darting around him and hurrying over to hug me. I did not return her embrace but allowed her to hug me. "I'm sorry Alice. I knew one of them was going to catch me though. I didn't know you were so worried."

"Of course I was worried you idiot." I snapped. "You're my best friend, why wouldn't I be?" She had no reply to that.

"Talk about motherly." Sasori chuckled as he approached. "You weren't exaggerating."

I shot a look at him. "No, no I wasn't.'

Hidan crossed his arms. "Your reaction scared me." He laughed. "I think Kathryn almost shit her pants."

Kathryn frowned at him. "No I didn't." She looked at me. "Do I still get no artist for a week?" I narrowed my eyes at her.

"You can have them." I sighed. "I overreacted a bit."

She squealed with happiness, kissed my cheek and glomped Deidara. "I'm so glad."

"Maybe you should listen to Alice from now on, yeah." Deidara told her as she hugged him. He had his arms wrapped around her waist.

She nodded. "Yeah, her punches hurt."

"You're damn right they do." I snapped, crossing my arms.

Kakuzu patted the top of my head. "I've never seen you run that fast. Not when you were chasing her the first time, or when you were running from Kisame."

"I wasn't in killing mode then." I informed him.

"You could be a ninja." Hidan teased.

I laughed. "I'm faster than you already. I don't need to be a ninja."

"Fuck that!" He said loudly. "I'm faster than anyone here."

"That is a lie." Itachi said calmly as he grabbed my hand. "You are the slowest here."

"He's right, idiot." Kakuzu said, looking at Hidan. "I'm the fastest."

Deidara shook his head. "I'm so the fastest, un."

"That is also a lie, Brat." Sasori stated shortly. "I'm faster than you."

"I'm faster than all of you." Kisame smirked.

Itachi rolled his beautiful blood red eyes. "I am obviously the most endowed."

Kathryn grinned at me. "Let's have a race!"

They all looked at her. "Seriously?" Sasori questioned.

She nodded. "Yeah! It will solve all of the issues. She pointed to the tree line. "All of you go line up over there, and Alice and I will be the finish line over there." She pointed to what was left of a line of a baseball field a few yards away from the playground.

"Fine." Kisame said with a shrug.

Hidan sighed and started walking towards the tree line. "What's the harm in a little race?"

"Hn." Itachi said coolly and began making his way to the starting point with Sasori and Kakuzu trailing behind him quietly.

Deidara smirked and kissed Kathryn's cheek before jogging to catch up with them. Kathryn and I jogged to the finish line and waited patiently for our ninjas to take their positions. When they all were in place, I started the race. "GO!"

And they were off. It took them seconds to reach us. Itachi was easily the fastest. Deidara and Sasori were evenly matched, right behind Itachi. Kakuzu and Kisame were the next in line and Hidan brought up the rear. He was not happy about that.

I hugged my weasel. "Good job, Itachi. I knew my man was the fastest."

He smirked and hugged me back.

"You are super duper fast!" Kathryn said clutching Deidara. "I wish I could run that fast!" She scoffed. "Hell I'd be a pleased banana with Hidan's speed!"

"Shut up, bitch!" Hidan growled. Kakuzu and Kisame were both chuckling at him.

Sasori looked at me. "How did you _know _your 'man' was the fastest?"

"Naruto Wiki." I said with a shrug. "Itachi has the highest stats."

"That's kind of creepy that you know that, un." Deidara informed me.

I smirked at him. "I know _everything _about you Deidara. I'm an internet stalker." I paused. "Insert maniacal laughing here."

Kathryn pointed at Itachi and started jumping up and down. "OH MY GOD! A SMILE!" She ran away from the area and hid under a tree. "Sign of the apocalypse! Run!"

"Kathryn, shut up." I told her seriously as I hung onto Itachi. "He's smiled before."

"Itachi _never _smiles." Kathryn informed me. "There must be something wrong with him." She zipped over to us and put her hand on Itachi's forehead. "He doesn't have a fever, maybe he's been poisoned."

Itachi looked at me as she fussed over him. "What is she doing?"

"Just ignore her." I sighed. "Kathryn calm down."

"No!" She said seriously. "Itachi is too badass to smile! You're an imposter!" She declared, pointing at Itachi. "Quick, Alice, get away from him!"

"Hn." Itachi said, watching her and still holding onto me.

Kathryn paused and straightened up. "Oh you're good Mr. Imposter."

He poked her forehead, effectively making her shut up.

"Ah! Weasel poke!" She said, holding her forehead. She grinned and hugged Itachi. "Hi Itachi! Welcome back!"

He waited until she released him to look at me. "What is wrong with her?"

"What isn't wrong with her would be a shorter list." I informed him.

Kisame, Deidara, and Hidan were all laughing at this while Sasori and Kakuzu worried about Kathryn's sanity. I don't blame any of them.

"You're so strange." Kakuzu told her.

She shrugged before hugging him. "I know." He just smirked and patted her head.

"So, what now, un?" Deidara asked.

Kathryn crossed her arms. "I say, DOG PILE ON ALICE!" She shouted, running towards me. I yelled in fright and ran away, letting go of Itachi so he didn't suffer with me.

"QUICK! DEIDARA, HIDAN, KISAME, KAKUZU, ITACHI, SASORI, JOIN ME!" She hollered over her shoulder. "We will get Alice and attack her with love!"

I looked over my shoulder, hoping that none of the ninjas were helping her. I had a mini-panic attack when I saw Kisame, Hidan, and Deidara were indeed intent on attacking me.

I was tackled by a shark, and he curled into a ball with me in his arms, half protecting me from the weight of Hidan when he jumped on us.

"Pay back is a bitch!" He laughed in my ear. "This is what you get for jumping on me that one morning!" He wrapped his arms around me from behind while I clutched Kisame as if he was my lifeline.

Deidara came next, landing directly on top of me, laughing. Kathryn then topped off the pile by sitting on his back, saying she was queen of the mountain. I just focused on breathing and hugging my shark.

"Help!" I shouted. "Itachi, Sasori, Kakuzu, help me!" I heard voices and Kathryn calling someone a butthead with a pouting voice before all of the weight except for Kisame was removed. I continued to hold onto Kisame, waiting for death.

"Alright Alice, you're free." Itachi whispered in my ear with his sexy voice. My eyes snapped open.

"Sexy!" I said happily, releasing Kisame and turning in his grasp to latch onto Itachi. He was forced to the ground so I could hold onto him. He chuckled at my behavior as I snuggled into him.

"We are so doing this tonight." I informed him. I looked over my shoulder at Kisame. "Don't you dare leave, Kisame. You're in this love fest."

He laughed and hugged my waist. "Fair enough."

"Alice! No sex!" Kathryn scolded. "Let go of the weasel and the shark!" She grabbed the little bit of me that wasn't clutching dude and pulled.

"Deidara, Sasori! Get her!" She said pointing at me when I didn't budge.

I whispered something into Itachi's ear and he smirked, loosening his grip on me. I told my plan to Kisame before looking up at Kathryn. My eyes widened in horror and I pointed behind her. "Oh my god!"

They all turned around and I sprang, taking advantage of their dropped guard before tackling Sasori. We hit the ground with a grunt and a thud. I quickly latched onto him so he couldn't escape. He looked confused for a moment before catching up with my actions.

"What are you doing?" He growled.

"I'm hugging my favorite puppet." I admitted with a shrug around his puppet form.

He frowned. "I see that." He sighed. "May I ask why?"

"You may." I told him.

"Why are you doing this?" He questioned.

I grinned. "Well because I love you!" I glanced at Kathryn. "Help me love him." She giggled in response and jumped on us, hugging any part of Sasori she could.

"Awe we just love you Danna!" Kathryn cooed. "You're so cute!" She nuzzled his face. "Danna is such a pretty man."

"Pretty?" He cursed. "Get off of me."

"Never." I smirked. "You know you like it. Accept our love."

His eyebrow twitched. "Brat, get your wench off me." He glared at Itachi. "Get your woman off me before I break them."

I kissed his cheek. "Awe, the scorpion is angry." He glared.

"Quick! Preemptive attack!" I shouted before getting off of him and attacking Hidan. He went to the ground with a yell of shock, trying to maneuver us so I didn't get hurt. Awe, he's such a sweetheart when he needs to be.

"Hidan's turn!" I sang as I cuddled against him. I looked over my shoulder. "Don't worry Itachi, you're still my favorite." I winked at Kisame. "You too Mr. Shark." I squeezed Hidan. "But I feel the rest of my favorite criminals need some love too."

Hidan smirked beneath me. "I can't say I don't like this." I looked up into his face to see a suggestive, perverted smile on his face.

I began backing off him. "Okay, pervert is done." I stood up and turned to face my next victim. Kakuzu gave me a flat stare when I crouch and turned slowly to attack.

"Don't even think about it." He told me seriously.

I grinned "Too late!" I attacked, Kathryn joining in with me. Kakuzu caught my attack, but hadn't been expecting Kathryn. Her momentum crashing into him combined with mine was enough to knock him off his feet.

"Ah, the miser!" I cooed. "I love you Kakuzu."

"If I reply with the same, will that make you get off?" He asked seriously, already situating Kathryn and me in his arms so he could get up. Damn he was strong.

"Maybe." I shrugged.

He sighed. "I love you too, Alice."

I laughed. "Yes!" I hugged him tighter as he stood, me clutching onto him and Kathryn thrown over his shoulder.

"What about me?" Kathryn whined.

"You too, Kathryn." Kakuzu droned. "Now will you get off of me?"

"Indeed." I told him. "Lower me to the ground because you're freaking tall."

He did as I asked with a chuckle, lowering Kathryn as well. I hugged him one last time before pausing. He frowned at my grin and Kathryn mimicked it, already knowing what I was thinking. An evil giggle escaped her.

"They're plotting something." Kisame said with fear.

I snapped around. "Blondie."

Deidara's eyes widened. "No, un." He started backing away. "Don't even do it Alice, un!" But he was too late, I was already attacking, Kathryn right beside me. We both tackled the blond, knocking him to the ground.

"Ah, mission accomplished." I said hugging Deidara's side while Kathryn hugged his other. She kissed his face, giggling.

"You guys are nuts, yeah." Deidara told us.

I nodded. "You've got that right." I let him go after a moment of telling him he was cute and I loved him. I sat up and looked around at the murderers surrounding us. "That was fun."

"I disagree." Sasori said calmly.

I frowned at him. "Whatever Sasori you butthead, you probably were having the time of your life. You're just too stubborn to admit it."

"Lies." He said shortly.

I smirked. "I can do it again if you'd like."

"No." He deadpanned. I shrugged and got to my feet. I skipped back to Itachi and hugged him. He returned it with a chuckle.

I sighed into my Uchiha. "Just to let you guys know, even though he's a pervert, Hidan was the sweetest out of all of my victims." I shook my head. "He made sure I didn't get hurt when we were falling."

"You attacked me from behind." Sasori growled.

I held up one finger. "While this is true, you would have hurt me had I been facing you and done so." He paused and nodded, knowing it was true. I smiled at him. "Kakuzu was very nice about it too." I turned my smile to him.

"How come you didn't attack Itachi and Kisame, un?" Deidara questioned.

I smiled. "They knew of my plan. How do you think I got away from them in the first place?" Itachi squeezed my shoulders lightly. "I would have, but they're too ninja to fall for my tricks. You guys just aren't up to par."

Kathryn looked in my direction. "What time does the park close?" She asked.

I pulled out my phone. "Uh, I think it closes at ten." I looked at it. "We still have like five hours still." I pocketed the device. "Not like we'll be here the entire time anyways."

I pulled myself out of Itachi's grasp and flopped on the ground. He gave me a questionable look before shrugging and sitting beside me on the dying grass with sexy poise. I fought drool and closed my eyes, enjoying the cold air.

"It's supposed to snow on Monday night. Like really bad." Kathryn informed me. "I think we're supposed to get a snow day."

"That would be fantastic." I told her. "I would be a pleased banana."

"And what, pray tell, does that even mean?" Kisame asked.

I looked around at him and shrugged. "I don't have a clue. I said it randomly one day with Brett, Louis, and Kathryn. It sparked a very amusing conversation and thus, it stuck."

"We talk about the weirdest things…" Kathryn said thoughtfully.

I smiled. "We saw a bumper sticker that I swear said something about clean fingernails the other day, and somehow we ended up talking about penguins and high powered binoculars."

"How are those even remotely connected?" Sasori questioned.

"We don't know." Kathryn and I said in unison.

* * *

_I truly do use the phrase "a pleased banana."  
_

_I have a question._

_Have you guys ever read the fanfiction Kitty Kurse by AbbylovesDeidara?_

_I just finished it around New Years and I have to say, it is an excellent piece of work. To be honest, every one should go read it because it's seriously incredible.  
_

_The writer of the story is actually very talented and that little piece of literature has made it's way to being one of my favorites since I finished it._

_It's also about Akatsuki kittens and it's hilarious. She has a wider range of talent and emotions in her story than I do in mine, so in my opinion, her's is much better than this. Granted, her story was made first and she probably put more effort into hers than I am putting into mine. However, I started writing this one just for my own fun before I even gave it a thought.  
_

_After starting this story, I got curious and started searching the other FFs for similar stories and there are A LOT. A great majority of them all hold similarities and are, in fact, very well written._

_Oh and by the way, I listened to "Blue" by Eiffel 65 and the Bleach soundtracks as I was writing this._

_Anyways, I have to go write a speech for one of my classes so I'm out._

_Toodles.  
_


	15. Chapter 15

_I don't really have anything interesting to talk about today... _

_My AQT team won today at our meet if that counts..._

_So yeah._

_I don't own Naruto. Wouldn't it be fantastic if I did?  
_

* * *

Rather than making everyone something for dinner, I decided to invest in some Taco Bell. It was pretty funny considering some of the events that transpired.

Some little kid walking out with his parents totally flipped out about Kisame. The kid started throwing a tantrum, saying there was an Avatar inside the restaurant. Kisame scowled the entire time.

Deidara had to be confined to a corner booth by Sasori and Kathryn after some guy hit on him. I have to admit, it was pretty hilarious, seeing how Deidara almost jumped the guy and had to be put in a headlock by Kakuzu before he could be dragged away.

Now the eight of us were sitting inside the kitchen after eating our meal. Stupid Pein, Konan, Zetsu, and Tobi left right after eating to go be strange and antisocial upstairs.

I was laying on the counter in the kitchen, watching Hidan rip up little bits of his napkin to make spitballs which he would shoot at random people through his straw. Kakuzu was getting kind of annoyed. If this would have been an anime, anger marks would be all over the place.

Kathryn slammed her hand on the table, startling most. "Okay, who the hell keeps shooting spitballs?" She picked one off her cheekbone just beneath her eye. "That one almost hit me in the eye. I'll admit it was funny at first, but now it's just silly."

I'm pretty sure I was the only one who knew Hidan was the culprit. "I don't know who is doing it, but when I find out, you're cleaning this kitchen because I am not having spitballs all over my house." I gave Hidan a knowing stare before allowing my eyes to drift over the others.

"It's been annoying me for the past ten minutes." Kakuzu growled. "Not all of them are hitting me, but they all zoom right past my eyes to hit someone else."

Deidara growled. "You just got me in the nose, un!" He started swatting at his nose. "Who is doing it, yeah?"

Itachi's eye twitched as a spitball hit him in the forehead. "I will end you." He turned to glare at Kisame. "Is it you?"

Kisame jumped at Itachi's glare. "No, I swear it's not. I'm just chewing on my straw." He pulled out the end of his straw to show a mutated end not capable of shooting a paper ball of spit.

"I bet it's fucking Alice." Hidan said, giving me a smirk.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, because I can shoot spitballs without paper and without a straw."

Sasori sighed. "I think you're all over reacting. Just calmly inspect everyone and you'll discover the culprit. The straw has to be able to fit the paper in it. Odds are, said culprit also has paper near them."

"It looks like it's you then, Sasori." Kisame smirked. "Or Hidan…"

Sasori gave him a glare. "I assure you it's not me. Such behavior is below me."

Kathryn smiled. "Well we all know Sasori is the epitome of seriousness and maturity." Do I detect some sarcasm in that statement? I have trained her well...

"Damn straight." He nodded.

"So that leaves Hidan." Kakuzu growled, turning to face his partner.

Hidan grinned and took off, running from the room.

"Get back here, un!" Deidara shouted, taking off after him as the rest of us just kind of sat there and watched them leave.

Kisame looked around at the others. "So, are we going to…?"

"No." Itachi said shortly. Sasori, Kakuzu, Kathryn, and I said replied with the same.

He shrugged. "Alright, we'll let the kids settle it."

I jumped as I heard something crash. "That sounded expensive and dangerous." I said, sitting up on the counter and hopping down, intent on going to inspect the damage.

"I think broken is also an acceptable description." Kathryn told me with a smile.

"Shut up smartass." I growled at her as Kisame chuckled and high fived her from across the table. I stalked towards the outdoors and left the house to see what happened.

Deidara and Hidan were wrestling on the porch, having knocked the chairs, and table off the platform and onto the ground. I ignored the struggle to make sure nothing broke. After seeing that everything was still intact, I addressed the fighting criminals.

"Alright you two, that's enough." I sighed. "Deidara, don't bite Hidan." I frowned. "Hidan, don't strangle Deidara. Don't pull his hair either."

They ignored me.

I put my hands on my hips and pulled out my cell phone. I called Kathryn from where I was. She answered after two rings.

"_Yellow_." She said.

"Green." I replied. "Get Sasori and Kakuzu out here please. Their children are trying to kill each other." I frowned. "Hidan, don't strangle Deidara with his hair!"

"_It sounds pretty rough. I'll get them out there right now_." She assured me. I heard her tell Kakuzu and Sasori that I need their help before coming back to me. "_So who is winning_?"

"From the looks of it, I'd say they're both losing." I informed her. "Hurry up." I ended the call and stepped forward to stop the kids. "Hey no slapping! Punching is not any better!" I grabbed Deidara's arm that wasn't around Hidan's neck and started pulling on him.

"Get out of here, Alice, un!" He retorted, jerking his arm out of my grasp and punching Hidan in the chest with it.

"Deidara that's mean! Be nice to the immortal!" I scolded. "Hidan, don't fucking twist his nipple!" I shook my head at their antics and looked towards the house as the other members arrived. "Please stop them."

Kakuzu shook his head with a sigh and walked forward with Sasori to separate their partners. Kakuzu kicked Hidan in the face while Sasori grabbed Deidara by his hair and dragged him away from the zealot.

"There were gentler ways to do that you know." I scolded; kneeling beside Hidan to make sure his nose wasn't broken. "You guys need counseling."

Kakuzu and Sasori gave me looked that clearly told me their methods of separation were necessary. I just accepted this.

"Are you okay, Hidan?" I asked when seeing his nose wasn't broken.

He nodded. "I'm fine. That jackass does shit like this all the time."

I smiled at him before punching him in the back of the head. "When I tell you to stop fighting, I expect you to obey you little shit."

He rubbed his newest injury. "Alright, Jashin you're mean."

"You're right, I am." I agreed. I walked over to Deidara and gave him the same scolding. He just pouted and held his head, whether from my blow or Sasori's hair pulling I'm not sure.

Itachi smirked at me as I walked over to join them. "You seem to be enjoying yourself."

I shrugged. "It's always fun to beat people."

Kisame chuckled and patted my head. "Atta girl."

"Y' did good, Alice." Kathryn laughed at me. She skipped over to Deidara who was complaining to Sasori about pulling his hair. She latched onto him when she reached him.

"So what are we going to do now?" Hidan asked as he approached us, Kakuzu trailing behind him boredly.

I shrugged. "I don't know. There's nothing to do."

"Alice!" Kathryn gasped. "We should go to the Y tomorrow." She jumped up and down. "It will be so much fun! Please?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'll think about it. There are risks, Kathryn."

"Oh whatever, we'll just ninja away if anyone catches onto us." Kathryn said, waving her hand as if it wasn't a big deal.

I sighed. "I said I'll think about it." I frowned at her pout. "We still have the issue of what we're going to do now."

"Group sex!" Kathryn said happily, throwing her hands in the air. "It's fun for the whole family!"

"No." Itachi, Sasori, Kakuzu and I said together. She pouted and sat on the ground.

"Meany." She said looking downtrodden.

I rolled my eyes and pulled my cell phone back out. "It's actually pretty late, so it's too late to go anywhere and do anything."

"What is the picture on your phone?" Itachi asked, taking interest in the background. I laughed as I looked at it. It was this really cute picture of a chibi Kisame where he had an expression that told anyone looking at the picture he was not amused.

"It's Kisame." I informed him. "It's been my wallpaper for like three months." I smiled. "It's this really cute chibi picture of him and his facial expression killed me so I had to put it on there." Kisame frowned at it when I showed him.

"It's true." Kathryn confirmed. "The second she discovered it, she called me in a laughing fit and sent it to me and everything. Every time she looked at her phone she would declare it was adorable and start laughing." She smiled. "It is pretty cute."

"That's weird." Kakuzu said calmly.

I laughed. "It was the Akatsuki cloud, but this picture totally trumped that on the awesome scale." I kissed Kisame's cheek. "Be honored you adorable shark."

"I'm so glad you guys consider me cute." Kisame said in a flat tone. "You do realize that's rather degrading to a ninja."

I smiled at him. "You're cute in this picture Kisame. In real life, you're sexy."

He smirked. "That's better."

"Good." I nodded. I rubbed against Itachi like at cat. "You're extremely sexy yourself, Mr. Uchiha." He just kissed my head.

"This is ridiculous." Sasori said irritably. "The mushiness is torture."

"I couldn't agree more." Kakuzu said boredly.

Hidan shook his head. "They're like fucking obsessed with each other. It's gag worthy."

I turned my attention to them. "Oh you haven't seen anything yet."

Hidan raised his eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

I looked at Kathryn. "Hello yaoi."

She grinned. "Do it!"

"Yes!" I ran inside, allowing Kathryn to drag in them after me. They took their seats on the couches at my command while I attacked the computer. I smirked and looked at Kathryn. "Who is first?"

"I'm thinking some Kakuhida." She said with a grin. "After all, those reactions will be the best."

"Why do I get the feeling I am going to want to burn my eyes?" Kisame asked Itachi as they took their seats beside one another.

"Because of this!" I said, clicking on a very… detailed picture of Kakuzu and Hidan going at it. I turned to watch their reactions.

"MY EYES!" Kisame shouted, burying his face into the couch. Deidara had close to the same reaction while Kathryn just laughed her ass off. Sasori and Itachi both made disgusted faces and immediately closed their eyes.

Kakuzu and Hidan gawked at the screen, both of their jaws dropping before they looked at each other and back at the screen. They did that a few times before Kakuzu punched Hidan, sending him across the room.

"Hey!" I scolded. "Don't blame him for someone else's imagination."

He glared at me. "Get that out of here or I'll do the same to you."

"You're going to do me?" I asked, gesturing to the sexual image.

His glare intensified.

"Alright I get it." I laughed. I turned off the TV to find something else. "Let's get some Sasodei going." I announced. Kathryn just giggled and bounced in her seat.

"Why the fuck was I on bottom?" Hidan demanded from his spot on the floor. "I'd never let that fucker top me."

I turned my attention to him. "Why do you care?"

"That's insulting!" He snapped.

Kakuzu frowned at him. "The entire picture was insulting you dumbass!"

"You know, I bet you two _are_ gay." Kisame said with a laugh. "You fight like a couple."

Kakuzu and Hidan both glared at him. "Shut the hell up!" They said together.

I turned on the TV. "I now give you, Danna and his brat." Kathryn laughed. Itachi and Kisame both shielded their eyes while Hidan and Kakuzu expressed their disgust and looked away. Sasori glared at the screen before turning to a shocked and disturbed Deidara.

"You stay the fuck away from me." He snapped.

"With pleasure, un." Deidara grumbled. I turned off the screen, laughing.

Kathryn smiled at me. "You know what must happen now."

I frowned and looked at Itachi and Kisame. "But they're so well behaved."

"Do it Alice." Kathryn ordered. "You tortured the others, now it's their turn."

"Don't even think about it." Kisame and Itachi growled together, glaring at me.

"But-" I started.

"No." Itachi cut me off.

"But-"

"No."

"Look Uchiha, it's either you and Kisame or it's you and your brother." Kathryn threatened. "You decide."

Itachi turned to glare at her, his Sharingan blazing. "No."

I shrugged and turned off the computer monitor. "Looks like that's a no, Kat."

She frowned at him. "He's such a party pooper."

"I think he's cute." I informed her.

"He is cute, but he's a butthead." She agreed. I shrugged at her again and went to join said cute butthead on the couch.

"So what now?" I questioned.

"Now, we try and erase the scars you just burned into our brains." Kisame growled. "I don't think I'll ever be the same after seeing that."

All of them agreed, but no one except for me noticed Kathryn sneak over to the computer. I smirked, knowing immediately what she was doing, and patiently waited for the storm to hit. I wrapped my arms around Itachi and held him, knowing he would eat her.

"What are you doing?" He asked, noticing my stronger than normal embrace.

I just shook my head with a smile and watched Kathryn pick up the remote. She pressed the power button and called everyone's attention to the screen. "It's a weasel and a shark!" She announced.

Itachi and Kisame both glared at the screen which was now supporting a very graphic image of them making love. I snickered into Itachi's arm while the other members shielded their eyes. Kathryn laughed at Kisame and Itachi's reaction.

"I hate you." Kisame growled at her.

"I never imaged you as the bitch, Itachi. You seem so dominant outside of the bedroom." Hidan snorted with laughter. "It looks like your girly appearance isn't just for show."

Itachi glared. "You're asking for it, Hidan." He detached himself from me in order to have easy access to kill Hidan if it became necessary. "Take that down, Kathryn. It's degrading."

"I think it's hot." She admitted. "You guys are so serious about this. Calm down, it's just a drawing."

"Kathryn, click out of it." I said with a smile. "They're all much too macho to be alright with something like that." I patted Itachi. "You should calm down though. He's the bitch in his relationship too."

"Hey!" Hidan barked.

Kathryn laughed. "She's right though. It's actually very common to see Itachi topping Kisame. Hidan, in everything I've seen, you're always the bitch. Deidara and Sasori usually alternate too."

"I didn't want to know that." Sasori informed her.

"Nor did I." Kisame said just seriously.

I rolled my eyes. "You're all so stiff. Lighten up." I sighed and leaned back in my seat. "Now we need to find something to do, because I'm bored."

"Let's watch a movie." Kathryn suggested. "Preferably a long one…" She skipped over to my movie stack and looked through it. "What to watch…"

I just closed my eyes and curled up in a ball in my spot, wrapping my arms around my knees and leaning against the back of the couch. I successfully took up only half of a cushion.

"How about we watch Princess Mononoke?" She asked. "It's like the coolest anime movie ever."

"They're just going to critique it the entire time." I reminded her, keeping my eyes closed. "But put it in, I haven't seen that movie in forever. I love it."

"I know you do. Wolves are your favorite animal." Kathryn's voice told me. I heard her slide the disk into the DVD player before a moment of silence.

Itachi wrapped his arms around me, pulling me onto his lap. He tucked my head under his chin just before he adjusted to resting his cheek on the top of my head. I snuggled into him, enjoying his scent and embrace.

"Awe, they're cute." I heard Kathryn coo quietly from across the room. I opened my good eye to stare at her. She was cuddling with Deidara on the couch, in a very lovable position. I just rolled my eyes at her before directing my attention to the TV as the menu popped up.

"Press play." I said, seeing she had the remote. She did so and the movie began.

Sasori took up the other half of her couch while Kisame sprawled out on mine. Kakuzu sat in the very comfortable recliner while Hidan claimed the beanbag as his own.

I didn't last long. It was quiet, the only noises coming from Hidan when he commented about the gore, and I knew this entire movie inside and out. I lost interest after about half an hour in and started nodding off in Itachi's arms.

At some point, the movie ended and I found myself to have fallen asleep. I woke up to quiet chatting. Itachi's voice rumbling in my ear is what woke me up. I opened my eyes to see Kathryn also looking like she just woke up.

"How long have we been out?" I asked.

Itachi looked down at me. "You fell asleep about an hour into the movie. Kathryn was out before then. The movie just ended." I said. I shivered at his voice. "We didn't mean to wake you." I saw him glare at Hidan.

"What? I just said we should mess with them for being lightweights." He said defensively.

"Touch me while I'm sleeping, and I'll break your face." I growled. "I'd have woken up as soon as you touched me anyways." I sighed. "I think its bed time. Kisame looks tired too." He smiled at me in response.

"You're right." Itachi agreed. He let me go when I made to get up. I turned off the TV and replaced the DVD back on its self before turning off the DVD player. Deidara and Sasori started on the stairs, Deidara carrying Kathryn, as I turned off the lights.

I made it to my bed and dropped onto it like a sack of potatoes without getting under the covers. Itachi chuckled at me flopping onto the bed before sliding under the covers like a sexy beast. Kisame picked me up and cradled me as he got into the bed and crawled under the covers, tucking me in the warm depths with them.

"Goodnight my loves." I told them tiredly.

"G' night." Kisame said, holding onto me.

Itachi kissed my forehead. "Goodnight, Alice. Goodnight, Kisame."

* * *

_Princess Mononoke is probably my favorite anime movie ever. I love wolves with a deep seated passion._

_Anyways, I think you all deserve to know that my older brother is out in the hallway dancing to Lady Gaga with a total creeper expression on..._

_We are totally related..._

_Lol. Read and review guys because it seriously does make me happy._

_As always, you're all more than welcome to suggest things and discuss the story or just talk to me in general._

_And did anyone see the newest shippuden sub episode? Haha I died the ENTIRE time.  
_


	16. Chapter 16

_It's the weekend!_

_That means lots of updates!_

_But you only get one today because I'm going out with my boys. :)_

_I don't own Naruto. But I do have a harry potter wallet. It makes me happy.  
_

**

* * *

Third Person!**

Alice shot straight up, breathing heavily. Her eyes were wide, her heart was racing, and her chest heaved. She had woken up in the middle of the night from a nightmare. Normally she'd be used to them, considering all she has are nightmares but this one caught her off guard.

She shuddered and wrapped her arms around her knees. It's been a long time since she had a night terror bad enough to scare her like this. Normally she would go to Louis and Brett's room to sleep the rest of the night with them, but alas, they weren't there.

Alice jumped when she felt arms wrap around her. She'd forgotten about her bed buddies.

"Shh, it's alright Alice." Kisame soothed in a calm whisper. "You're safe, we're here."

She leaned into his hug and tried to calm down. Kisame pulled her onto his lap and tightened his hold. Itachi moved to sit in front of Alice and she closed her eyes and felt him put his hands on her face. His gentle touch soothed her.

"Are you okay, Alice?" Itachi asked.

She nodded. "Sorry about that."

Kisame rested his cheek on the top of Alice's head. "Don't worry about it, Alice." She opened her eyes to watch Itachi grab her hand with one of his while the other caressed her face softly. "You're safe with us."

"It's been a long time since this has happened." She muttered. "I'm such a baby."

Itachi smiled. "It's normal to have nightmares, Alice."

"Yeah, but it's kind of bad if you get scared like this over them." Alice said quietly. "I have them all the time, but this was the worst one recently. It's been so long."

"You were whimpering." Kisame told her. "It started getting really bad before you shot up." He squeezed her. "Just calm down, and try and sleep. Itachi and I won't let anything happen to you."

"I know." She sighed. "You'd better not since I'm letting you sleep in my bed."

Itachi chuckled and kissed her. "Just try and forget about it."

Alice nodded. Kisame let her go and she rolled back in her ball while he and Itachi returned to their positions on either side of her. Kisame wrapped his arms around her while she faced Itachi. He grabbed her hand and kissed her again.

Alice smiled at him as best she could before closing her eyes.

"Thank you both." She whispered.

"You're welcome, Alice." Kisame said with a hug. "Try and sleep."

She squeezed his muscular arm with her free hand.

Itachi flexed his hand around hers. "Go to sleep, love." She smiled at this and focused on evening out her breathing. Itachi and Kisame watched her fall asleep before finally sleep overtook them.

**First Person!**

I woke up to the sound of snickering. I kept my eyes closed, attempting to assess the situation before opening my eyes just in case I'd end up regretting it.

I was wrapped in someone's arms so that was normal. What wasn't normal, however, was that those arms weren't huge; they were strong, yes, but not Kisame's massive arms.

I was lying facing the normal direction, but my face was pressed up against something that smelled good. It was fleshy but sturdy. I deduced it was someone's chest because I could hear a faint heart beat.

It was not quiet in my room like I assumed it would be. There was whispering and hushed laughter. I focused on listening.

"Why the fuck are you guys fucking sleeping in the same bed as that bitch?" Hello Hidan. "And why the hell is she always cuddling with one of you?"

"Shut up Hidan, you're going to wake her up." A slightly raspy voice said. "If she wakes up because of you, I'm going to beat your ass." Hello Kisame you sweetheart.

"Why are you being so defensive?" A dull voice said with a hint of sarcasm. I recognized that voice as Sasori's.

"She had a rough night." Kisame admitted quietly.

I heard snickering. "Did you guys do it?"

"No Hidan." Kisame snapped.

"They better not have." A girly voice said. Oh so Kathryn is in here too?

"We probably would have heard them, un."A new voice soothed. Guess who? "Alice isn't that irresponsible either, yeah." Awe thanks Deidara.

A quiet scoff sounded from near the foot of my bed. "That's what you think. Something happened if they're both sleeping in her bed and she's clutching onto Itachi like that." There's Kakuzu. I was wondering where he was.

Oh so I was sleeping with Itachi? I wonder why he's being so quiet.

"She loves him." Kathryn growled.

"Kathryn is worse at night with Deidara. The poor kid can't even move because she clutches onto him so tightly." Sasori chuckled.

"I don't mind, yeah." Deidara admitted.

"I love Deidara." Kathryn giggled. "You can join too Danna."

"No thank you." He said shortly.

Itachi voice rumbled in my ear. "Be quiet. You're going to wake her up."

"Don't talk Itachi, she's so close to you your voice is probably really loud even though you're whispering." Kisame scolded.

I decided mentally I would wake up to the next person who spoke.

"I'm honestly surprised she isn't up yet. Alice usually wakes up at the slightest noise. Not to mention she gets up early." Kathryn said in consideration.

I jerked and sighed tiredly. The room fell silent as I moved against my weasel.

"Whoops." Kathryn whispered.

"Someone smells good." I said groggily as I rubbed against the Uchiha holding me. I heard him chuckle. "That chuckle is sexy. It must be Itachi."

Kisame, Hidan, and Deidara chuckled. I took this opportunity to open my eyes. I trailed up the chest that I was pressed against to see Itachi looking at me with a tender smirk. I returned it. "Good morning handsome."

"Good morning, Alice." He replied.

I buried my face back into his chest. "I'd have been so pissed if anyone other than you or Kisame was doing this." I looked over my shoulder around my room. "Good morning guys."

"Good fucking morning." Hidan told me. "Why the fuck are you merging with Itachi?"

"I love him." I shrugged. "You're just jealous." I kissed Itachi's cheek and moved slightly away from him to give him his space. "You're all too loud. It's the weekend, I want to sleep in."

"It's ten." Kakuzu droned.

"Fuck ten." I growled. "Sleeping in right now means noon. Go away." I rolled completely over and grabbed Kisame. "Mm, there's my shark."

Kisame chuckled and kissed the top of my head. "Hello to you too."

"You're a cuddle whore." Kathryn told me.

"You're just a whore." I retorted. Hidan snorted.

She pouted. "Meany."

"I'm sorry Kathryn, care to join me?" I asked, looking up from Kisame's chest. She nodded happily and crawled onto the bed with me. She squeezed in between me and Kisame when I moved over to give her room and she wrapped her leg around me and her arms. I returned the gesture. Kisame laughed and got up, heading for the bathroom.

"You're so the bitch in this relationship." I told her as we snuggled.

"You can top me." She smirked. "I think we might be fueling some wood this morning."

I frowned. "Don't make our cuddling perverted. I'm tired and I want to sleep." I grinned when arms wrapped around me from behind.

"So go to sleep." Itachi whispered in my ear in his husky, sexy voice.

I shivered. "Itachi don't do that!" I looked over my shoulder at him. "I'm getting chills. Your voice is too sexy for this close proximity." He chuckled and kissed my cheek before leaving me alone on the bed with Kathryn.

Kathryn giggled. "Deidara, come join." She stated. "Alice has dude from behind, I want dude from behind too." She patted the space behind her.

"I don't think that's a good idea, un." Deidara chuckled.

"Get the fuck in here you terrorist." I ordered. "Then all of you shut up because I'm going to bed."

"No you're not." Hidan told me seriously. "You're going to get up and feed us."

"You've got arms and legs, do it yourself." I snapped.

He walked closer to the bed. "I'll join this love fest if you don't get up." He threatened.

"Go right ahead. You'll be closer for me to punch." I told him. "Since Deidara is being a pussy, climb in."

"Hey, un!" Deidara complained.

Hidan laughed. "You missed your chance Blondie." I flipped us over, noticing he was going behind Kathryn. My protective instincts told me that Kathryn would feel violated so I switched sides with her, offering to take the Jashinist.

Hidan rolled on top of me, wrapping his arms around me from above. "Alice, I'm hungry, get up." He whispered in my ear. His breath tickled my skin and I suppressed a shudder. "I'll fucking lick you if you don't." He nuzzled my ear.

"And I'll bite the shit out of you." I growled under his weight. "Do it, I dare you."

"What are you doing, Hidan?" Kisame's voice cut in. He just emerged from the bathroom. I saw Kakuzu, Deidara and Sasori smirk.

"Kisame." I whined. "Hidan's being mean. He's threatening me and he won't get off." I smirked at Hidan when he frowned at my lies. Itachi chuckled and went to the bathroom.

Hidan was off me the second Kisame's stomping ended. He scooped me up from the bed and cradled me. "There, I got rid of the threat." Kathryn rolled away from our cuddle spot to laugh at Hidan's form resting on the floor.

I hugged him. "Thank you Kisame. You're so sweet." I snuggled into him, intent on going back to sleep before I frowned. "Damn it Hidan, I'm not tired anymore."

"Yeah me neither." He growled from the floor, rubbing his ass.

Kisame set me down at my polite request just as Itachi came out of the bathroom. I went in after him. It took me a few minutes to do my shortened morning routine before I came back out. "Let's go get your fucking breakfast."

Hidan jumped up. "It's about fucking time!" He said loudly as I walked out of my room still wearing my comfy clothes. I went down stairs to see Konan, Pein, and Zetsu already helping themselves to Pop-Tarts.

"Fuck you Hidan, you could have been mature like Pein, Konan, and Zetsu and got your own breakfast. But _no_, you just _had_ to come in there and bother me." I growled. I threw a box of Pop-Tarts at his face. He caught it with a laugh.

"You looked too comfortable anyways." He said with a chuckle.

"I was." I snapped. "Good morning Pein, Konan, and Zetsu." I added, giving them a cheerful smile.

"Good morning Alice." Konan said sweetly. Pein just grunted at me and Zetsu glanced in my direction.

"You girls are too cheerful in the morning." Kakuzu informed us.

I glared at him. "Do I look cheerful to you?"

"You did while smiling at Konan just now." He told me.

"I'm _always_ cheerful when I see Konan." I corrected. "Konan's just too adorable to not smile at." She rolled her eyes at me but smiled all the same.

"At least she's functional when she wakes up." Sasori said, leaning on the doorframe. "It takes Kathryn at least an hour before she even opens her eyes when you get her up." He chuckled. "Alice at least fights back to the teasing."

"Deidara, Danna is being mean." Kathryn pouted. "Beat him up."

"I wish you would." Sasori challenged, staring Deidara down. "I dare you."

Deidara chuckled. "I'll get him back for you later, Kathryn, un. You have to understand, he's not right in the head, yeah." He smirked. "I mean he thinks art is eternal when it's clearly fleeting, un. He's become delusional and senile in his old age, yeah."

"Art is eternal you little brat." Sasori snarled.

"Oh don't even start!" I barked. "Deidara if you retort I'm going to shove a knife down your throat." He looked shocked. "Sasori, you leave him alone." I looked to Pein and Konan. "I don't know how you do it."

"It takes a lot of patience and discipline." Konan said with a smile. "It's not easy."

"I honestly don't know how we do it either." Pein informed me.

Kisame looked around. "Where is Tobi?"

As if he willed it, I was tackled to the floor by a lollipop on speed. "Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi declared to the kitchen.

"Good morning to you too, Tobi." I groaned. "Will you be an even better boy and get off me now?"

"Tobi will let Alice-chan go!" He said happily.

I sat up and looked at Kisame. "You had to ask didn't you?" He just chuckled in apology.

"Sorry about that." He told me with an apologetic smile.

"You're lucky I love you so much." I muttered. "Tobi, be a dear and help me up." I said with a sigh. Tobi grabbed me and lifted me to my feet easily. "Thank you dear."

"Alice-chan is welcome." He said with a hug. I returned it, leaning against the counter after being released and closed my eyes with a tired sigh.

"You're really tired this morning." Kathryn pointed out.

I looked at her with my good eye. "I didn't sleep very well last night."

"I still say they did it." Hidan grumbled into his breakfast.

I glared at him, opening my other eye. "Don't test me Hidan."

"Alright I get it." He said defensively/

Kathryn looked at me. "What happened? Does Kisame snore?"

"No, he doesn't snore." I said with a small laugh. "I just had another night terror."

"You were scared by a nightmare?" Zetsu asked. "**What are you, five?**"

"Well aren't you just an inconsiderate asshole?" I growled, glaring at him.

"Again?" Kathryn asked. "It's been a few months since you've had one of those."

I nodded. "Yeah no kidding." I shook my head. "I thought I'd finally kicked it."

Kathryn looked genuinely concerned. "So are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just was caught off guard." I told her. "I think I freaked Kisame and Itachi out too." I laughed once without humor. "I didn't wake up everyone in the house so it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Thank Jashin."

Kisame looked at me with worry. "It was kind of scary." He admitted.

I ran my hand over my face. "I'm sorry guys, I probably should have warned you ahead of time." I shook my head. "That wasn't fair of me."

"What are night terrors, un?" Deidara asked.

"Shitty." I told him. I noticed Itachi watching me with concern.

Kathryn smiled at me sympathetically. "They're like extreme nightmares. In Alice's case, she whines and whimpers in her sleep and you can't wake her up. It gets kind of bad. It's really scary when you first see it." She sighed. "Luckily we were near Brett and Louis when you had one the first time near me. I almost pissed my pants."

"Sounds like some intense shit." Hidan said. "That really sucks."

"You're not kidding." I said without humor.

"They're sometimes caused by stress." Kathryn informed the room. "Stop bothering Alice so she doesn't have them anymore."

"It's not anyone's fault." I rolled my eyes. "Anyways, what's the plan for today?"

"The Y!" Kathryn reminded me cheerfully. "You said you'd think about it."

I nodded. "Indeed I did. But tell me Kathryn, do you have a swimsuit with you?" She shook her head, not removing her smile. "And remind me, do any of the others have swimsuits?" She shook her head again.

"They can use shorts." Kathryn informed me. "And we can stop by my house and pick up one of mine. Konan can use one of yours."

"I don't intend on swimming." I said calmly. "So if she wants to go, she's more than welcome to." I sighed and looked at Pein and Konan. "Do you want to go?"

Pein raised his eyebrow at me. "Where exactly would we be going?"

"It's called the YMCA. It's basically this really large building that has an indoor and outdoor pool, lots of room to goof around, and a weight room." I began.

"There's a sauna too." Kathryn added. "It's really awesome."

"Basically the only thing for you to do is run around, work out, swim, or sweat." I informed them. "Honestly, I'd rather stay here, but there is no way in hell I'm letting any of you guys leave this house without my supervision." I glanced at Tobi and Zetsu. "Unfortunately, it's a very popular place, so you two cannot go."

"**Who would want to go to a place like that?**" Dark Zetsu asked. "I won't have a problem staying here." White Zetsu added.

"Tobi wants to stay with Zetsu-san!" Tobi announced.

I looked to Pein and Konan. "You can either go and babysit with me, or stay here and keep Zetsu and Tobi company." I shrugged. "It's your choice; I trust the four of you."

"You trust Tobi, un?" Deidara demanded. "What the hell is wrong with you, yeah?"

I glanced at him. "I trust him enough to behave. I also trust Pein enough to compensate for my trust Tobi lacks. I know Pein and Konan won't let him destroy my house."

"Konan and I will not be going." Pein said calmly. "I'd rather not risk our cover in a public place." He glanced at his subordinates. "All of you will listen to Alice and behave in my absence. Understood?"

"Yes Leader-sama." Everyone chimed in unison.

"Good." He nodded. "When will you be leaving?"

I shrugged. "I guess as soon as everyone is ready." I crossed my arms. "First I'm going to show you guys how to use the phone just in case I need to get a hold of you while we're gone."

I grabbed the cordless phone from its stand and proceeded to show the Akatsuki members how to use a telephone. Once I was sure they all had it, I informed them not to use it unless they needed me or Kathryn before telling them not to answer it unless it was one of our numbers on the caller ID.

"Why do we need to know your numbers?" Pein asked.

"Just in case I need to go somewhere." I shrugged. "While you guys live with me, I will _always_ tell you if I decide to go somewhere. Whether I come here and tell you or call you. You'll never have to wonder where I'm at." I sighed "Alright, now that that's over, let's all go and get ready." I declared. "Meet me down here when you're done." I walked from the kitchen as they all disappeared in a flash. Kathryn skipped after me.

"They're fast." She said cheerfully. "They must be excited."

I sighed. "They _are_ ninjas, Kathryn."

She nodded, considering this. "That's true."

I went up to my room to see Kisame and Itachi sitting on my bed looking at me, already ready. I rolled my eyes and grabbed some sweatpants and a different clean shirt.

"Why do you always wear black Alice?" Kisame asked, noticing my black shirt and pants that looked a lot like the other black clothing that filled my drawers.

Itachi glanced at him. "She wears other colors too. She wears red and shades of gray."

I smiled and shrugged. "I'm colorblind so I like to limit the colors to thing that I know match. That's why I always wear black pants and my shirt colors vary. I know everything matches black so I don't have to worry about wearing some outrageous colors." I turned back around. "Plus I like the color black. It's my second favorite."

It was silent as I walked into the bathroom and changed before going back out into my room. Itachi was by himself, I assumed Kisame had gone downstairs to wait with the others. I smiled at him and walked over to him to sit down beside him to put on socks.

"What colors can you see?" Itachi asked after I put my socks on.

"I can't see shades." I informed him. He nodded and kissed my cheek before standing. I stood with him and we walked downstairs together. I put my shoes on as Hidan started bouncing in front of me with Kathryn. Both of them were extremely excited.

"You're so slow, Alice." Kathryn told me. "Come on, we're already ready to go."

"Shut up Kathryn, we have to go to your house to get your bathing suit anyways." I growled. "You're lucky it's on the way." I grabbed my jacket and walked to the door. "Is anyone there or do I have to keep them in the car?"

"I think it's just Matt and Kristine." Kathryn admitted. "My mom and Eric are at Ryan's wrestling meet today."

I laughed. "We are definitely going inside then." I opened the door and let them run to the car. "Matt's going to be so scared."

"Who is Matt, un?" Deidara questioned.

Kathryn looked at him as she climbed into the very back with him and Sasori. "He's my stepbrother. I have a little sister and three stepbrothers." She smacked either side of Hidan's head when he sat in front of her in the middle seat. "Hidan has the bitch seat!"

"Hey, so do you, bitch." Hidan snapped.

"But I don't have a problem with being a bitch." Kathryn reminded him. "How come Itachi always gets to sit up front?"

I glanced back at her as I started the vehicle. "Itachi gets the front seat because I love him. That and he's well behaved and not mean to me." I smiled at Kisame. "You'd be the next candidate for the front."

"Sasori isn't bad." Kathryn protested.

"Sasori is mean to me." I informed her. "He's a sarcastic ass who is void of emotions." I heard Sasori chuckle. "Kakuzu is close to the same but he's nicer about it."

Kakuzu patted my head before looking back at Kathryn. "How old is your little sister? Is she anything like you?"

"Oh god she's like a mini-Kathryn." I warned them. "It's outrageous."

"I think she's twelve. I'm not too sure though." Kathryn said, rubbing her chin in thought. "She might be younger."

Kisame rested his chin on my seat. "Do you have any siblings, Alice?"

"I have an older brother." I told him. "He's in college though so I don't see him. Not to mention, I don't have a very friendly relationship with my family."

"What did you do, piss them off?" Hidan asked.

I shrugged. "Maybe I did. My parents hated me, and I wasn't all that fond of them. I moved out because I was sick of the treatment I received. Now all they do is put money into my private bank account for me to live on and pay for my schooling." I pulled onto the highway. "That's more than enough for me."

"You're just surrounded by nice people aren't you?" Sasori asked sarcastically. "First it was that asshole from the mall and now it's your family?"

"I have that affect on people." I said offhandedly. "I stopped caring a while ago."

Kathryn frowned. "I love you Alice."

"I love you too, Kathryn." I laughed. "Alright now, so what are we going to do when we go there? You guys aren't running off on your own."

"Swim!" Kathryn cheered. There were mutters of approval from some of the others.

"I will not be swimming." I told the car. Sasori and Kakuzu voiced the same.

Hidan poked me. "Why the fuck not?"

I glanced back at him. "I don't want to. Just be happy this pool is heated or you guys would be kitties."

"Good, I don't want to be a damn cat again." Hidan grumbled.

Kathryn pouted. "I miss the kitties. You guys were so cute."

I smirked. "Personally I like them better this way."

"But you hate cats." Kathryn pointed out. "The only cat you like is Poo-Bear."

Sasori looked deeply disturbed. "Who is Poo-Bear?"

"He's Kathryn's massive cat." I explained. "His name is a prime example of Kathryn's excellent naming abilities."

Kathryn glared. "I named him when I was like five okay?"

"You named Sasori and Hidan Loofa and Shiny when you were sixteen." I reminded. "It negates any defense you had in that statement."

"Bitch." Kathryn growled.

Kakuzu looked out of his window. "So where are we going, exactly?"

"We're going to Kathryn's subdivision to get some things for her." I informed him. "Then we'll go to the Y."

"How far is this place?" Itachi wondered.

I glanced at him as I pulled into said subdivision. "We're in the subdivision right now. Kathryn lives in the very back. Once we're done there, it'll only be another five minutes in the car to get to the Y."

"It's a good thing you drive like a madwoman." Kathryn said happily from the back. "You should be careful in here though, there're people everywhere."

"I know." I said, turning onto her street. "And no one here can drive or park." Hidan bent forward in his seat to put his torso in the front with Itachi and I so he could look out the window.

"What is with all these little fuckers playing in the streets?" He demanded, watching kids run out of my way as I drove down the street.

I glanced at him. "Sit down, Hidan, you're making me nervous."

He grinned and put his face closer to mine. "I am?"

"Shit the fuck down." I repeated, smacking the side of his face gently. "Or else I'll slam on the breaks and you'll go flying through my windshield."

He grumbled swearwords as he sat down.

I turned around in the circle at the end of Kathryn's street before parking in front of her driveway. There wasn't enough room for my Hummer with her brother's car already in it. I shut off the vehicle and started getting out.

"Come on all of you, I don't know how long this is going to take so you're coming in with us." I told them. They all moved with incredible speed out of the car and to the sidewalk, waiting for me to join them.

I shook my head at their behavior and led the criminals with Kathryn into her open garage. She smirked and turned to the guys. "Make sure you don't kill anything. You can scare my siblings as much as you want, just try not to kill them."

They all voiced their obedience and we led them inside my second home. Kathryn shouted out her arrival. "Honey I'm home!" She paused and heard footsteps sounding on the stairs before her sister rocketed into the kitchen.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw the guys.

"Oh my Jashin, it is a mini-Kathryn, un." Deidara gawked.

Kristine tilted her head to the side. "What the fuck?"

"Who taught the child that word?" Sasori questioned.

I gave Kathryn a meaningful stare. "I'll give you one guess." I looked towards Kristine when a few of them chuckled. "Hey kid, do I not get a hug?"

She smiled and attacked me. I returned her hug before allowing her to hug her sister. She stepped back to look over the guys. "They're hot. What are they doing here?"

"They're with me." I told her. "We came here to get some more of Kathryn's shit."

She frowned. "So are they assholes like Adam?"

I laughed. "No, they're not. They're all very nice." I glanced at them. "Be nice to her or I'll fight you."

"I'd love to fucking see you try." Hidan challenged.

"Kathryn, are your knives still in the same spot?" I asked, walking around the island in her kitchen to the drawers.

"No killing Alice." Kathryn scolded. "I'm going to get my shit. Kristine, don't rape them." She walked into the living room. "Hey Matt, we've got guests so don't be a jerk."

"Whatever, it's probably just Alice." Matt stated. "And I'm never mean to Alice."

I smiled and led my murderers into the living room. "You're damn right you're not mean to me. I've known you since the age of four." He looked around at me with a cocky smirk before it morphed into shock and slight fear.

"Who in the fuck are they?" He asked, gawking at the Akatsuki.

"My bitches." I informed him. "Guys, meet Matt. Matt, meet the guys."

Kakuzu patted my head. "You're so good at introductions."

"I try." I smiled at him. I walked forward and plopped myself on Kathryn's large recliner that we usually sat in together every time I came over. Itachi took the massive amounts of room next to me and curled his arms around my shoulders. Kisame flashed a smirk at me before sitting on Matt's right while Hidan sat on his left.

"This ought to be good." Kathryn giggled before she dashed upstairs with her sister. Deidara and Sasori sat on the other couch with Kakuzu, smirking at Matt.

"Where did you find these guys?" Matt demanded, looking Kisame's massive form with an intimidated expression.

I smiled. "I found them in a box in front of my door." I heard Deidara chuckle.

"So who are they then?" He asked again.

"You're sitting with Hidan and Kisame." I said. "Itachi is sitting with me. Deidara, Sasori, and Kakuzu are sitting on the other couch respectively."

Kisame put his arm over Matt's shoulder as Kristine came down the stairs and sat on the floor in the middle of the room. "Don't worry; we won't hurt you or anything. Alice made us promise to be good."

"Alice, how come you always bring the hot guys over?" Kristine asked.

"You're a bit too young to be thinking like that, aren't you?" Itachi stated.

She shook her head. "My sister trained me."

"It's true. I tried to keep her innocent, but Kathryn has more time with her." I sighed. "She used to be so sweet."

"Whatever Alice, you know you love me." Kristine challenged.

"This is true." I nodded. "But Itachi is right. You're too young to be acting like that."

She shrugged. "I know a hot guy when I see one." She turned to Deidara. "Kathryn said you were hers."

He chuckled. "I guess so, un."

She smiled at him and turned to Hidan. "She said you were the funny loud one that I shouldn't listen to because you would corrupt my soul."

"That about sums him up." Kakuzu chuckled.

"What the fuck Kathryn?" Hidan said loudly. We all heard Kathryn giggle from the top of the stairs. "That bitch."

Kristine turned to Kakuzu. "She said you were Jewish." I sighed and face-palmed.

Kakuzu just raised his eyebrow and looked to me for an explanation while Matt snorted with laughter. I just shook my head at him and he shrugged.

"Kathryn said you were the giant sweetheart." Kathryn said, looking at Kisame. Kisame shrugged and patted her on the head without moving much.

She turned to Itachi. "You're Alice's and you're the strong and silent type." Itachi raised his eyebrows at her and looked to me. I just snorted and looked away from with, fighting laughter. Kathryn was such an idiot.

Kristine turned all the way around to look at Sasori. "Kathryn told me to talk to you last. She said you were Alice in male form."

Sasori looked at me. "I think Kathryn needs to be punished. I am nothing like you."

"I agree with the last bit." I said coldly. "Sasori is a sarcastic ass."

"That sounds like you, Alice." Matt told me.

I glared at him. "Kisame, Matt's being mean to me." I pouted. I smirked at Matt when Kisame wrapped the arm resting over his shoulders around Matt's neck and squeezed, causing Matt to yelp in fear.

"Alright I'm sorry!" He said quickly.

"Okay Kisame, he's being a good boy." I said cheerfully. "Thank you dear."

He smiled at me.

Sasori stood. "I'm going to beat Kathryn for saying that." He looked down at Kristine. "Take me to your sister."

Kristine jumped to her feet. "Okay!" She hurried towards the stairs. "Come with me." Sasori followed behind Kristine as she led him up the stairs.

I stood. "Come on guys, we need to make sure he doesn't kill her." They all stood with me, Kisame and Hidan patted Matt on the head before following after me. Matt looked relieved when they left him alone.

I led them to Kathryn's room to see her standing on her bed, beating Sasori with a pillow as he tried to get closer to her.

"I think she's the one who needs training." Kakuzu deadpanned as he watched the scene before us.

"I've been trying." I admitted. "I haven't been able to do it yet."

Deidara chuckled. "Kathryn, don't hurt Danna, un." He walked around me to get into the room. "Come off your bed and stop hitting, Danna please, yeah."

Kathryn ended her assault to stare at the blond. After a moment she dropped her pillow and glomped him. "Anything for you, my love." She kissed his cheek. "I was only fighting to defend myself since Kristine had to be a bitch and show an angry Danna where I was hiding."

"That's what you get for comparing me to Sasori." I barked. "He's a butthead, I'm not."

Sasori looked at me. "My intelligence level is not that low, nor am I capable of being as immature as her."

Kathryn giggled. "I only meant that you two were the most sarcastic people I know." She hid behind Deidara. "It's true, so don't deny it."

I sighed. "Fine, I'll admit that Sasori is _almost_ as good as me when it comes to sarcasm."

Sasori smirked at me. "I refuse."

"Danna don't be mean, un." Deidara scolded. He looked at Kristine who was hiding behind Sasori. "Why are you hiding behind him, yeah?"

"I'm hiding from Kathryn because she'll beat me for helping Sasori." Kristine informed him. "She's a bitch."

Sasori placed his hand over Kristine's mouth. "No more bad language, little one."

"I fucking love this little brat." Hidan chuckled, patting Kristine's head.

Kisame glanced at him. "Don't teach her anything, Hidan. You're a bad influence with your behavior and excessive swearing."

"You want swearing?" He smirked. Itachi moved like a ninja and covered Kristine's ears, protecting her as Hidan went off on his rampage of swears and cursing.

I smacked my forehead while Kathryn just stared at the zealot, eyes wide. Kisame eventually covered my ears and Deidara covered Kathryn's as Hidan got even more graphic before Kakuzu hit him in the back of the head.

Kisame, Deidara, and Itachi all sighed with relief and released us.

"Ouch! What the fuck Kakuzu?" Hidan demanded, glaring at his partner.

Kakuzu frowned. "That's enough, Hidan."

"I agree." I said. "Don't do that anymore." I shook my head and looked at Kathryn. "Hurry up and get your stuff so we can leave."

"Okay!" She said cheerfully. She kissed Deidara and darted to her dresser.

Itachi raised his eyebrows as something caught his attention. "Kathryn, what is going on with your wall?"

I laughed. Kathryn had a fairly large bedroom since her house was huge. All of her walls were painted red but one of them wasn't red. It was covered in posters and magazine cutouts of bands she loved. It had bands like Asking Alexandria, White Chapel, Suicide Silence, The Devil Wears Prada, A Day to Remember, and much more. I always marveled at her wall every time I came over. The two spots that weren't covered with bands on her wall had a Batman poster and a poster with a bunch of puppies on it.

"It's Kathryn's pride and joy. She's spent a long time covering that thing with the bands she loves." I told him.

"It's my wall of famous hot guys." She said happily. "The only one missing is Deidara."

Deidara smirked as he inspected her wall with the others.

"Oh my Jashin, what the hell is that?" Hidan demanded, pointing to a _huge _fuzzy black blob on Kathryn's bed.

"Poo-Bear!" I said happily. The blob moved to reveal itself as the best cat in the world. He had a white Hitler-stache on his black face and he was the largest cat I had ever seen. He was bigger than Kathryn's Cocker Spaniel.

"That's your cat?" Kisame asked. "That thing is huge."

I nodded and climbed on her bed to cuddle with the kitty. "It's the only cat I love." I paused. "With some exceptions…"

"He's always been huge." Kathryn told him. "He's bigger than Crash."

"Who's Crash?" Sasori wondered, petting the giant cat's head.

Kristine climbed on the bed with us to lay on me. "He's our dog. We named him Crash because he's an idiot and used to trip on his ears and crash into the walls and floors."

"He thinks he's a cat." Kathryn added. "AHHA! I found my bathing suit!" She announced. "We can go now."

"It's about time." Kakuzu grumbled.

I got off the bed, knocking Kristine to the floor. "Alright troops, let's move out." I ushered them out of the room, through the house, and to the car. We paused only to say goodbye to Matt and to allow Hidan to scare the crap out of him by stabbing himself and drawing the Jashinist symbol on the kitchen floor with his blood.

I was still chortling about Matt's reaction as I parked my Hummer in the parking lot of the Y. Everyone in the car was pretty much quiet after praising Hidan and getting over the scene except for me who would burst into random giggles when I recalled it.

"Okay guys, let's go inside." I announced. I made sure I had my membership card and my guest thing. Kathryn had grabbed hers as well so we could get them all in for free. Ah, being a member is so much easier than not being one.

* * *

_So I don't really like the new ending theme for the Naruto episodes. I love the song, but the video with the credits is kinda lame._

_Sorry for the typos and whatnot if there are some. I'm in a hurry.  
_

_Toodles dears.  
_


	17. Chapter 17

_I _**DO**_ own Naruto. I own everything. Including you._

* * *

Once we got checked in and everyone was ready to go swimming, Kathryn and I led them to the indoor pool since the outdoor ones were closed. As soon as we entered the pool room, Kisame, Deidara, and Hidan sprinted to the pool and dove in.

"Such energy…" Kathryn said with a giggle before stripping off her towel and handed it to me so I could take it to where we would be sitting. She skipped to the pool and jump in, splashing Hidan who had just surfaced.

I shook my head and walked over with Kakuzu and Sasori to the chairs. We plopped down on an isolated group of them near the deep end so we could watch the swimmers. Hidan was currently dunking Deidara while Kisame was pulling Kathryn around.

Itachi removed his shirt before getting into the pool like a sexy beast. I drooled. Sasori and Kakuzu both chuckled at my behavior as they sat on either side of me.

Kathryn, who was sitting on Kisame's back as he swam around, pointed in our direction so Kisame shot towards us, swimming just as gracefully as the shark I knew he secretly was. Kathryn slid off of him as he got to the edge of the pool and straightened up to talk to us. Itachi came over as well with Deidara and Hidan.

"Why aren't you getting in, Alice?" Kisame asked.

I shrugged. "I don't want to."

"Can you not swim or something, un?" Deidara questioned.

"I can swim, quite well in fact. I just don't want to." I informed him. "Is that a problem?"

Hidan, Deidara, Kisame, and Kathryn all exchanged evil looks before Hidan and Kisame were out of the pool in a single leap. I stood. "Don't even think about it." I snapped and started backing away.

Hidan grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder. "Come on Alice, don't be such a stiff." He started walking to the pool with me over his shoulder.

"Hidan you fucking put me down right now!" I ordered. "Itachi, stop him!" I looked towards my savor who was being attacked my Kathryn and Deidara, completely being prevented from coming to my rescue.

Hidan stopped beside Kakuzu and Sasori. "You guys don't mind if I take little Alice here into the pool with me do you?"

"Not at all." They said in unison with evil smirks.

"What the fuck guys?" I snapped. "Help me!" Sasori just chuckled while Kakuzu pushed Hidan towards the pool. I started punching him.

Where was the lifeguard when I needed him? Oh yeah, I knew the guy. He was a senior at my school and he was in marching band when I used to be in it. He didn't care what I was going through so he just laughed at me from his seat.

Kisame walked behind Hidan and kissed my cheek. "Don't be mad Alice." Hidan then took off, jumping high in the air before crashing into the pool with me on his shoulder. Kisame followed in after us, causing a huge wave.

I surfaced, in my sweatpants and black shirt, completely soaked. "I'll have you know that I hate all of you now. You're all fucking becoming cats when we get home." I glared at Kathryn. "You don't get dinner."

She gasped. "It was Hidan's idea!"

"You helped him." I snapped. "Kisame, you're in trouble too."

He pouted. "I'm sorry Alice, but I wanted you to have fun with us."

I looked away from him. "Your pouting is not going to fucking work. I'm mad at you." I knew if I looked at him for too long, I'd melt at his pout.

Hidan swam over to me and hugged me. "Can we make it up to you?"

"Yes, go and drown." I growled. "You guys are lucky I assumed something like this was going to happen. I was wearing my bathing suit under my clothes and I brought extras. I took precautions because I predicted that you guys would be assholes and do this." I detached myself from the Jashinist and swam to Itachi.

"You're not going to turn me into a cat, right?" He asked.

I shook my head. "You're the only good one." He smirked and kissed me. I returned the gesture before swimming to the edge of the pool. I pulled off my pants and shirt and threw them at Sasori and Kakuzu respectively.

"Hey Julio, how come no one is here?" I heard Kathryn ask the lifeguard. "I figured this place would be hopping."

He looked down at her. "This weekend has been kind of dead. Plus everyone usually goes to the other pool because it isn't heated. I only have to be in here in case little kids or older people come in."

"So do you have to be here all day?" She asked, allowing Deidara to wrap his arms around her waist.

He shook his head. "No, I actually get off in like fifteen minutes. So you guys will have the place to yourself until another guard comes in."

She shrugged. "Okay." She turned around to look at me. "Alice, I don't understand why you refuse to wear a bikini. Those jugs of yours would draw guys like flies to a carcass."

"That's such a wonderful analogy." I said calmly. "And that's part of the reason I don't wear bikinis. I also find them extremely irritating."

"You should be proud of your girls." Kathryn told me. "I'm proud of mine."

"You like yours because you're a rail with huge boobs." I stated. "You damn model."

"Model, un?" Deidara questioned.

"I used to be a model." Kathryn told him. "I got tired of it last year and quit." She frowned, turning back to me. "I don't have an ass though. You have one of those, and huge boobs. You're not boney like me, you're muscular."

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up. I'm getting annoyed by Hidan and Kisame checking us out."

Kathryn and I both turned to Hidan who was standing beside Kisame, their hands on their chins, both of them checking us out.

"Stop it." Itachi said, glaring at the offenders. Kisame chuckled and swam away while Hidan just shrugged. Itachi wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing the top of my head.

"Let's play chicken!" Kathryn declared. "It'll be you and Itachi versus me and Deidara."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, but have you considered the fact that they might not want to play?" She scoffed at me and waved her hand in my direction.

"Of course they do! They'll have hot babes sitting on their shoulders in bathing suits." Kathryn announced. "That and we'll be wrestling."

"I fucking want to play." Hidan stated with a laugh.

She pointed at Hidan. "If they don't we can use Hidan and Kisame."

"You get Hidan if they don't." I told her. I looked to Itachi. "Do not feel pressured to play, Itachi."

"I accept her challenge." Itachi said calmly. "There is no way we will lose."

I smacked my forehead. "Of course you accept her challenge." I crossed my arms. "We need to assume the position." I gestured over my shoulder at Kathryn who was sitting on Deidara's shoulders already.

Itachi nodded and I was on his shoulders in seconds, feeling very powerful. I smirked at Kathryn. "You don't stand a chance babe."

"Bring it!" She barked, urging Deidara forward. "Forward my blond steed of doom!"

I patted Itachi's head. "Whenever you're ready sweetie…" He smirked and walked forward to meet Deidara where our battle grounds would be.

Hidan and Kisame swam over to referee. At their call we started. I easily knocked Kathryn off of Deidara within the first minute. Itachi and I didn't even waver. Ha, suck on that blond duo.

"No fair." Kathryn pouted. "Alice is stronger than me."

"You challenged us." I shrugged and Itachi lowered me back into the pool. I kissed his cheek. "You're very good at Chicken, Itachi."

"Thank you. I could say the same." He smirked.

Kathryn jumped up and down. "Marco!"

I laughed. "Polo!" I swam away from her as she closed her eyes. "Don't let her catch you guys or else you'll be it."

"Marco!" She called again. I called Polo and the others copied me. She moved around, her hands out in front of her like an idiot.

She eventually caught Kisame because he wanted to be it. She grabbed onto him with her eyes closed and since she had to guess who it was before he was it, she totally felt him up. She had wrapped her arms around his waist so he couldn't escape. Then she trailed up his form and stopped and pouted when she could go up anymore because he was so tall.

"It has to be Kisame unless Kakuzu got in." Kathryn said cheerfully, opening her eyes to see the fish man looking slightly violated and amused at the same time. "Hey there, Kisame, your muscles are impressive." She then swam away to go attack Deidara.

Kisame playing Polo or whoever he was supposed to be was quite frightening. You had to swim super fast and be super quiet because he was the best swimmer ever and he was a ninja. I resorted to clinging to Hidan's back in fear because Kisame enjoyed chasing people. He had the most fun chasing Itachi who was my original protector.

Sasori and Kakuzu would help him out by shouting directions out to him so he could find us easier. Sasori even used his puppet jutsu on me to forcibly make me swim closer to Kisame. I flipped out when he released me and had a heart attack trying to escape a laughing Kisame.

After a few rounds of that, we decided to play categories. Kathryn declared she would be it first since it's more fun to be it anyways in that game. She swam to one side of the pool while me, Kisame, Itachi, Hidan, and Deidara stood along the wall of the side across from her.

"Alright guys the category is favorite color." She called to us. She then plugged her ears and went underwater.

I turned to the others. "Okay, my favorite color is going to be rainbow because Kathryn knows my favorite color is red. You guys pick your favorite colors."

"Red." Itachi said boredly.

"Blue." Kisame stated.

Deidara crossed his arms in thought. "I'm going to go with yellow, hmm."

"Silver." Hidan finished.

I nodded and looked back at Kathryn. "If she calls your color, swim as fast as you can to her side. If you lose, she remains it. If you win, you get to pick the category." Kathryn came up from the water, just enough for her eyes to surface. She saw me wave at her before standing up.

"You guys ready?" She asked.

Hidan dipped his head. "Come on bitch, let's get this game rolling."

She crossed her arms and smiled at me. "Black?" She pouted when I didn't move. "Red?" She called. Her eyes widened with shock when Itachi shot towards her side.

She scrambled towards our side, splashing more than necessary in her haste to beat Itachi who was at her side before she even reached the middle.

"I win." Itachi said calmly.

Kathryn pouted. "Itachi's it." She swam the rest of the way over to us and took her place beside me and Deidara. "I so guessed you would be the one to race me. I didn't think the Uchiha would be my opponent."

I shrugged. "What can I say; we have many of the same likes."

Itachi caught my attention. "What exactly am I supposed to do?"

"Pick a category." I told him with a laugh. "It can be anything: favorite food, favorite jutsu, anything."

He was quiet for a moment. "Favorite food?"

"Good pick Itachi." I praised. "Go underwater or just plug your ears so you can't hear what we are saying. Don't use your Sharingan either because you can read our lips."

"Very well." He complied, plugging his ears and allowing his eyes to fade black.

I turned to the others. "Tomatoes." You have to love those little things.

"Crab." Kisame told us.

"Ribs." Hidan said proudly.

Kathryn smiled. "I like Doritos."

"Pop-Tarts, un. Those are so good, un." He smirked. "Otherwise it'd be bakudan, yeah."

I waved my hands at Itachi and he released his ears and activated his Sharingan. He smirked. "Crab."

Kisame chuckled and rocketed towards Itachi. It was a close as it could get with Kisame. Itachi swam extremely fast, but Kisame was made for water. Kisame shrugged when he won while Itachi looked unbothered. He kissed my cheek when he returned to me.

"The category is favorite Akatsuki member." Kisame told us. "It can't be yourself and it can't be Itachi and Deidara for Alice and Kathryn."

I crossed my arms when Kisame went underwater. "Kisame."

"Sasori." Kathryn shrugged. She flashed Sasori a smile when he chuckled and patted her head now that he and Kakuzu were sitting on towels beside the pool.

"Leader-sama." Itachi said boredly.

"Zetsu." Hidan stated. "I hate the rest of you fuckers."

"Kakuzu." Deidara said with a shrug. "It's absolutely not Tobi."

Itachi got Kisame's attention and he emerged from the watery depths. He stood up with all of his tallness and smirked at us. "Hidan?" He laughed when no one moved. "I can't say I blame you guys."

"Fuck you Fish-stick!" Hidan snapped.

Kisame waved at Hidan to calm him down. After a moment of chuckles he looked over all of us. "Me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Fuck my life." I started swimming in his direction.

He chuckled and met me. He lifted me over his shoulder when I tried to swim around him and carried me back to my end to touch the wall. I crossed my arms on his back and gave up. "This always happens to me."

"You can be it, Alice." Kisame chuckled. "None of you guys are going to be able to beat me in a race."

I sighed. "Kisame, you're just a shark. You're a very loveable shark, but a shark none the less." I yelped when he dove into the water with me and raced me to the other side. He deposited me there. He then arrived back on the other side by the time I righted myself.

I crossed my arms in thought until something came to mine. "What's your favorite thing about Sasori?"

Kathryn jumped and down happily. Sasori frowned at me.

"I hate you." He told me.

"I love you too, Danna." I chimed as I plugged my ears and went underwater. I held my breath for as long as I could before sticking my eyes over the surface. Kathryn waved at me and I straightened up.

"His sarcasm?" I wondered. No one moved. "Really? That's probably my favorite part." I shrugged. "He's hot?"

Kathryn scrambled towards me and I rocketed off the wall of the pool. I beat her to the other side and she had a pout full blast as she swam back to her side and I swam back to mine. "To satisfy my curiosity, what did you guys all pick?"

"I picked nothing." Hidan told me. "There is nothing I like about him."

Kisame shrugged. "I picked his attitude towards you. I don't really know what else to pick." He laughed when I rolled my eyes.

"I picked his personality, un." Deidara confessed.

Itachi had his eyes closed. "His treatment of Deidara amuses me."

I shrugged. "Alright, what's your favorite thing about Kakuzu?" I ignored the glare he gave me and went underwater once more. When I surfaced for breath I saw they were ready.

"Well my favorite thing about Kakuzu is his hotness." I told them. When no one moved I shrugged. "His love of money?"

Kathryn laughed and started swimming. Hidan chuckled at her while I laughed too. I allowed her to win so she could be it. I swam to my weasel and kissed him when I returned. "Hello to you."

"Welcome back." He told me with a gentle smile.

"The category is favorite thing about Alice!" Kathryn cheered. I smacked my forehead while Sasori flicked the back of my head. I turned to him when Kathryn went underwater.

"What?" I questioned.

"Why involve me in your games?" He asked.

"Well, because I love you, Sasori. I love you too, Kakuzu." I added. He just rolled his eyes at me. I turned back around when Itachi elbowed me lightly.

I frowned. "You guys all ready?"

"Hn." Itachi said quietly. I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms, my favorite thing about myself was Itachi and that's what I was going to go off of.

Kathryn was dancing with her hands covering her ears. She stopped when she noticed us all staring at her. She gave us an embarrassed smile and crossed her arms. "So, let's see what you all love about my Alice."

She readied herself to swim. "Everything, because there is nothing about Alice you don't like!" She smiled hugely at me.

Kisame and Itachi both started swimming and I started laughing. Both of those two were so sweet. Hidan and Deidara both started laughing with me, especially so when Kathryn screamed in fright when both ninjas started swimming at her.

"Well aren't you loved?" Kathryn asked from her spot on the poolside. She had jumped out in fear thinking they were going to attack her. I shrugged.

"Kisame, Itachi, you're both sweethearts and I love you both too." I called to them.

Kathryn screamed and jumped to her feet. "A smile!" She was pointing at Itachi. "The imposter is back!"

Itachi grabbed her outstretched hand and yanked her into the pool. She resurfaced and pouted.

"This one is a mean imposter." She said, sticking out her lower lip. I burst out laughing.

Hidan swam up behind me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders before resting his head on the top of mine. "Alice, I'm hungry."

"Hello hungry, I'm Alice." I told him. He rolled his eyes at my response. I patted the side of his face. "I'll get you food in a bit, hold on."

"Okay." He said, letting me go. I hoisted myself out of the pool and quickly wrapped a towel around me. He copied me after getting out for the second time. The first time he started shaking the water hanging on him too close to Kakuzu and Sasori. Kakuzu punched him in the gut, sending him straight back into the pool.

"Hey guys, Hidan's hungry." I told them as Kathryn was hanging on Kisame's shoulders trying to dunk him. He stood there unaffected by her assault as was casually talking to Itachi and Deidara as she screamed at him to go under the water. "Let's get food."

Kathryn looked up from the shark she was trying to drown and let him go repeating "food" in a questioning, deprived, eager voice as if it was the only thing in the world she wanted.

Deidara laughed at her and picked her up before getting out of the pool with Kisame and Itachi. He wrapped a towel around her before grabbing his own. Itachi came over to where I was sitting and grabbed an available towel. He threw the last one at Kisame who caught it with a cheerful thank you.

"What do you guys want to eat?" I wondered.

"Don't they have a cafeteria here?" Kathryn asked. "They have a kitchen or whatever for the members."

"Let's go fucking eat!" Hidan declared, pointing to the ceiling. "I'm starving."

I sighed quietly, watching Hidan wrestle Deidara for calling him a wimp. We were in one of the basketball courts. I was on the track above them, my feet hanging over the edge while I rested my chin on the railing. Kathryn was down there with them, throwing basketballs at them.

Kakuzu, Sasori, and Kisame were standing off to the side talking while Itachi was sitting beside me quietly, seemingly meditating. I saw his eye open at my sigh and he looked down to see Deidara punch Hidan in the gut. I smiled when he rolled his eyes and went back to silence.

"Hey Alice, how come your man is well behaved?" Kathryn questioned. She had pajama pants on over her bathing suit. She wore just her bikini top even though none of us planned on swimming again. I was comfortably in my batman pajama pants and black shirt, out of my wet bathing suit.

"Itachi is too badass and mature to do stuff like that. Deidara has a temper." I explained.

Deidara looked up from his battle with Hidan. "No I don't, yeah!" Hidan managed to pin him to the ground.

"That and Hidan is able to get under his skin while Itachi just makes anyone who tries to goad him into a fight look like an idiot." I added. "And yes, yes you do, Deidara."

I heard him grumble from the first floor before kicking Hidan off of him and elbowing him in the back. The battle continued. I rolled my eyes and watched Kathryn try to pull Deidara away from Hidan.

"Deidara stop trying to kill Hidan!" She whined. "Hidan let Deidara go!" She pouted when neither of them listened to her. "Alice, help me!"

I sighed irritably and got to my feet. Itachi opened his eyes and stood with me. He grabbed my hand as I made to go to the doors that led to the steps. I stopped and looked at him. He pulled me back to him and picked me up bridal style. He then jumped over the railing of the track and landed perfectly with me in his arms in the middle of the court.

"Thanks Itachi." I said sweetly when he set me down.

"You're welcome." He told me. He went over to join Kisame, Kakuzu, and Sasori as I went to help Kathryn.

I grabbed Hidan while she grabbed Deidara and we both pulled. Neither of us made the fighting criminals budge. In fact, it just caused them to fight harder. My eye twitched and I kicked Hidan in his ass.

"That's enough!" I barked.

Hidan stopped his assault on Deidara before turning around to glare at me with a fire in his eyes. A very evil grin erupted on his face.

"Hidan?" I backed away cautiously until he tackled me. "Ouch! What the fuck, Hidan?" He put me in a headlock before Kathryn attacked him.

"Let go of my Alice!" Kathryn shouted at him. She started punching him in the head. He got one of his arms around her and pinned her to the ground with her hand bent painfully behind her back. I was trying to break his arm's hold around my neck.

"Hidan, let go of Kathryn and Alice, un!" Deidara ordered. He tackled Hidan, landing partially on me. I tried to crawl away but Hidan had a death grip on me. Deidara was pushed off and Hidan threw Kathryn at him before returning his full attention to me.

"Ouch you fucker, get off of me!" I growled. He grabbed both of my arms and pulled them behind me as if he was going to handcuff me.

I managed to hit him in the face with the back of my head when I threw mine back and it dazed him for a second. It was long enough for me to get my hands back and punch him in the face. I continued hitting him until he came to.

Hidan lunged at me, straddling me and pinning my hands above my head with one of his while he held my head down by placing his forearm against my neck. I could feel my shoulder locking up from the position it was in. I heard a loud pop.

Suddenly Hidan was on the other side of the room and Itachi was standing above me. He knelt beside me. I looked around for a moment in confusion before trying to move my arms. I hissed when my bad shoulder locked and refused to move.

"Are you alright, Alice?" He asked. "I heard something pop."

I nodded. "It was just my shoulder. It's not Hidan's fault. It always does that when it's stretched like that." I grabbed my right shoulder and squeezed it. Once I did that I was able to move my arm back to my side, clenching my jaw to fight the pain.

Hidan came back over to me. "I didn't mean to hurt you Alice, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, honestly. My shoulder locks up if I lift it above my head. You didn't know, it's not your fault."

Itachi raised his eyebrows at me. "What's wrong with it?"

"It's just screwed up. The doctor said it was from playing the trombone. That's why I had to quit band." I explained. "It's also because the asshole from the mall pulled it out of its socket whenever he wanted to get my attention."

Kisame was there too. I hadn't noticed him. "Are you going to be alright?"

"I'll be fine in a few minutes. I just have to adjust to the pain. It'll be numb for a bit." I sat up. "Honestly, don't worry about it."

Kathryn was sitting in the middle of the court beside Deidara who was standing with Sasori, watching me quietly. "Alice doesn't like it when people worry about her."

I rolled my eyes. "Shut up Kathryn."

"Okay." She sang. Kakuzu chuckled from beside Hidan.

Itachi tucked his arms under my knees and behind my shoulders before lifting me off the ground. He eased me to my feet and me go. I thanked him before he turned to glare at Hidan.

"You should have been more careful." Itachi snapped.

Hidan looked shocked. "Hey, I was being careful I wouldn't have done that if I knew it was going to hurt her." He told him. "It's not like I did it intentionally."

"Itachi, it's fine." I sighed. "Leave him alone. He didn't mean to. He didn't know."

"That's not an excuse. You're not a ninja. He should have been gentler." Itachi said coldly. "He could have seriously hurt you."

I grabbed his hand with my functional one. "Itachi, don't. I told you, I'm perfectly fine. Don't get mad at him. It was an accident. Besides, he didn't seriously hurt me. He was only playing around."

"Fine." He said calmly.

"Good boy." I soothed. "Hidan, don't feel bad okay? I know you didn't mean to." He smiled at me sympathetically. Or, at least that's what it looked like. You never know with Hidan.

Kathryn jumped up. "What now? Should we go home? We've been here all day."

"Yeah, let's go home guys." I sighed, heading for the door. "I've got to go to the store tomorrow to stock up for the snow storm just in case we get snowed in."

* * *

_My shoulder really does do that._

_I kinda wish I could still play the trombone. I miss it._

_Anyways,_

_Your reviews are all so fun to read._

_And it makes me happy so see you all are enjoying this._

_So thank you._

_You guys might get multiple chapters today._

_I'm in a good mood.  
_


	18. Chapter 18

_I've been throwing this idea around in my head for a bit, but _13 _helped me decide to actually go through with it by suggesting it._

_She wanted me to introduce our music to the Akatsuki, and this is what came from it._

_I do not own the Akatsuki_.

* * *

Going to Sam's Club with the Akatsuki is very nerve racking. Thank Jashin Pein and Konan went with me or else I'd be screwed. I had allowed Tobi to come too because I felt bad about leaving him in the house all the time. I told Zetsu he could play in the woods whenever he wanted to since he couldn't go into public with us.

I kept Tobi with me so I could keep an eye on him, but I allowed the others to wander if they promised to meet me by the movies within the hour. I made them go in groups so no one would cause too much trouble.

Hidan was with Pein, Konan, and Kakuzu. I put Sasori in charge of Kathryn, Deidara, and Kisame. Itachi stayed with me, helping me keep an eye on Tobi. I had to separate the bad kids and I put the more mature ones in charge.

Tobi skipped around me and Itachi happily, ignoring the stares from others because of his mask. I told anyone that asked that he was my special little brother and he liked to wear masks to public places because he didn't want anyone to stalk him.

They didn't question this.

Only one issue came from all this and it was Kathryn's fault. She wanted something and Sasori wouldn't get it so she threw a tantrum. I could hear her whining from across the store. Deidara was forced to put his hands over his mouth to get her to shut up, only for more screams of excitement because of his hand-mouths.

I was waiting at our rendezvous point with Pein's group to see Kisame carrying Kathryn with his hand over her mouth while Sasori looked irritated leading them to me. Deidara just looked guilty. She was in very big trouble when we got home.

I sat between Pein and Itachi quietly. Itachi was reading silently and Pein was watching Deidara, Kisame, and Hidan arm wrestle. Konan was chatting quietly with Tobi and Zetsu while Kakuzu and Sasori were having their own little conversation.

My body flinched when a click sounded throughout the room as something turned on. I frowned and looked around until I noticed the speakers had been turned on. With a sigh I turned my attention to the culprit.

Kathryn was hiding under the coffee table with the remote. She crawled out from under it and crept to the iPod dock on her hands and knees. She extracted _my_ iPod from her pocket and connected it to the music player.

I watched her through narrowed eyes as she scrolled through my music-playing lover and pick a song. My eyebrow twitched when the beginning of Caramelldansen sounded through the room, gaining everyone's attention.

Kathryn giggled and stood so she could dance to the song. I saw Itachi set his book down with a sigh as the music filled the room. Kisame paused in defeating Deidara to turn his attention to the dancing teen.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Hidan demanded, glaring at Kathryn from his spot on the floor. He was the first to speak since everyone else just watched her in confusion.

"Dancing bitch. What does it look like I'm doing?" She retorted. She clapped happily as the song was finished before darting back to my iPod to pick another. "Hmm… What to pick?"

"Don't pick anything ridiculous Kathryn." I stated. Of course, I didn't think any song on my iPod was ridiculous, but I knew other people did. I had a black, 80 gig video iPod and it was my baby. I treated that thing better than I did myself.

"How about we listen to some Eddie Rath?" She questioned. I smacked my forehead. Eddie Rath was this rapper who had an album full of songs about Naruto. I actually liked his songs and even though I hate rap music, he's actually quite good for the topic.

"No." I stated. "Spoiler alerts."

"Spoilers?" Itachi asked.

I smiled. "Mr. Eddie Rath is a musician who made songs about you guys." I informed him. "And when I mean you guys, I mean most of all of you." I directed a meaningful look at Tobi who was watching me.

He made a song about Madara. It was actually one of my favorites. However, I didn't think it would be appreciated by the elder Uchiha if we played the song and exposed his secret.

Kathryn pouted. "Lady Gaga!"

I sighed. "I'd rather not, but I think it'd be funny to see their reactions so go ahead."

"Yes!" She cheered. She had her own iPod, but I had a larger variety of songs.

I rolled my eyes when she started playing LoveGame. It was a song I put on my iPod for Brett. I wasn't a big fan of Lady Gaga, but everyone else I knew was.

"What… the… hell?" Sasori questioned, listening to the song.

"Let's have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick!" Kathryn sang. Kisame started laughing along with Hidan as Kathryn started dancing to it. They all sat there with looks of shock on their faces while she sang all the words.

When it was finally over, she kissed Deidara's cheek. "That song is for you my love~." He just gave her a suggestive grin.

"Thanks, yeah." He told her.

She squealed about his cuteness before skipping back over to the iPod.

"What just happened?" Sasori questioned, looking at me for an explanation.

I sighed. "That was Lady Gaga, a very strange woman."

"The name itself is enough to tell us that." Kakuzu told me.

"This is a song for Danna!" Kathryn cheered.

I burst out laughing as Master of Puppets by Metallica began playing. "Oh Jashin this is perfect." Kathryn was such an idiot.

"I do not find this funny." Sasori deadpanned, glaring at my iPod and Kathryn.

Kathryn was too busy head banging to pay attention to him. She really wasn't big on music like this. She was more into screamo and death metal. I like it as well, but I also enjoyed the classics.

"Next song!" She chirped as Sasori's song was over. "Perhaps we should have played him a song by Scorpion…"

"You're not funny." Sasori growled.

"AHHA!" Kathryn exclaimed. "For Kisame!"

Kisame allowed his eyebrows to raise when "Blue" by Eiffel 65 began playing. However, his confused, curious expression changed to one of annoyance that was clearly not amused when the chorus sounded from the speakers.

"You're mean Kathryn." Kisame pouted. Cue me melting instantly.

"Awe, Kathryn, turn it off." I ordered. Kisame was so sweet and adorable. He didn't deserve that sort of torture.

Kathryn rolled her eyes but complied. "Let see… Pink Floyd." She skimmed through the songs of one of my favorite bands before she cheerfully picked one and threw a hug on Kakuzu. I instantly knew what song she picked.

"Jew song!" Kathryn called as "Money" by Pink Floyd filled the room.

Kakuzu just rolled his eyes and shook his head at Kathryn.

"What is that thing, exactly?" Itachi asked, looking at me.

"The music is coming from the little black thing. It's called an iPod." I informed him. "It's actually a very nifty, useful little thing."

"This music is strange." Pein commented.

"All of the songs she has played so far are different." Konan announced.

I nodded. "There are a lot of different genres and shit." I opened my mouth to continue but stopped as Kathryn decided to be an idiot.

"Tobi! Come dance with me!" Kathryn ordered. The Chicken Dance was playing.

"Tobi will dance with Kathryn-chan because Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi declared, hopping up from the couch to join Kathryn in the strange, yet awesome dance.

I smiled. "You know Kathryn, if you play a certain song, I'll dance with you."

She motioned for me to hold on with a grin as she danced with Tobi. The duo ignored the teasing from the others minus Kakuzu, Konan, Pein, and Itachi.

"Okay, now that this song is over, I'll play your request. But you _have_ to dance with me." She ordered after the last note from the dance of chickens ended.

"Do it." I ordered, getting up like shit was about to go down. Well it kind of was, since I was about to dance. I hated dancing for multiple reasons. I could dance, but I just didn't like to. There were very few songs I willingly danced to. And the one she was about to play was probably my favorite.

"The Macarena." I said approvingly as Kathryn started the song.

Kisame, Deidara, and Hidan roared with laughter as Kathryn and I danced to the wonderful synchronized dance song. I ended up forcing Tobi and Konan to dance with us by the third round. And Kathryn talked Deidara and Hidan into doing it.

It's such an easy dance. The only ones that are easier are the Chicken Dance and Caramelldansen, and Tobi already mastered both of those.

I smiled a satisfied smile as I took my seat between Pein and Itachi once again. Both stoic males were watching me with raised eyebrows. Itachi had a smirk going and Pein had a ghost of one on his pierced face.

"That was fun." I announced, smirking at Pein and kissing Itachi's cheek.

"I'm glad you enjoyed yourself." Itachi said in his super sexy voice.

Pein looked up at Konan as she sat on his other side. "Did you have a good time, Konan?"

She laughed and nodded. "It was hilarious. You should join us next time, Pein, Itachi."

"I think not." Pein said calmly. Itachi merely hn-ed his agreement with Pein.

"Party pooper." I sighed, resting my head on Itachi's shoulder as Kathryn decided to play other music.

There was nothing else interesting that happened except for when Kathryn did the booty call and I had to punch Hidan and Deidara in the face for being perverts. Also, we listened to a love song and Tobi sang one of the more lovable parts to Zetsu.

That was fucking hilarious. Zetsu's reaction was priceless.

The white half of him seemed slightly embarrassed, especially when Tobi hugged him. His black half was swearing at Tobi and making death threats. I was too busy laughing my ass off to remember all of them, but there were some pretty damn good ones.

Kathryn decided to introduce all of the Akatsuki to various kinds of music and occasionally, we would find some genres they liked. All of them were rather appreciative of the Akatsuki theme song. Pein even admitted to liking it.

Pretty soon, they were demanding songs to listen to as Kathryn called them out.

I tuned them out after a bit and got up from the living room to go to the kitchen. I called Brett and talked on the phone with him and Louis for a bit like I did every day. Louis, like always, interrogated me about the Akatsuki and what they were doing.

It was kind of awkward. And I felt really bad having to lie to him. But what Louis doesn't know, won't kill me.

After a time, I ended the call and was just sitting in the living room, staring off into space before something called my attention. Kathryn was screaming in the other room. It wasn't the kind of playful scream you scream when you're having fun either.

I went to protective mode and sprinted into the room. Hidan had Kathryn pinned to the ground. From my angle, I couldn't see what he was doing, but since I was in protective mode, I instantly assumed he was hurting her.

I kicked Hidan in the face, knocking him off Kathryn in seconds before going after him, preparing to brutally murder.

"What the fuck?" Hidan demanded, rubbing his jaw. His eyes widened slightly when he saw me coming after him. "What's your problem, bitch?"

I didn't answer. I grabbed the heaviest thing I could reach, which happened to be a slab of wood that used to be a shelf on our movie case. I drew my weapon back and prepared to swing before Sasori stopped me with his jutsu.

"Alice!" Kathryn said quickly, getting to her feet to stand behind Deidara.

My weapon was extracted from my hands by a weary Kisame before I turned my head as much as I could to glare at Sasori.

"Let me go." I snapped. "I'm trying to commit murder."

Sasori sighed. "No can do, Alice."

My glare intensified as I turned my attention to Hidan. "What were you doing to her?"

Hidan frowned. "I wasn't doing anything."

"Bull fucking shit!" I snapped. "She was screaming her head off and you were on top of her." I frowned when I tried to move and couldn't still. "Sasori let me the fuck go!"

"No." He said calmly. "You need to calm down."

"Like hell I will." I retorted.

Kathryn walked over to me and hugged my side. "I'm okay Alice. Really, it's fine. He didn't hurt me."

I frowned and glared at Hidan for a second longer before sighing and relaxing substantially. "Fine. I'm calm. I won't kill Hidan." I glanced over my shoulder at Sasori. "Can you let me go now?"

Sasori nodded and released me. I glanced at Kathryn who was still hugging me. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She said sweetly.

I nodded. "Well don't scream like that then." I looked at Hidan who was getting up, still rubbing his face. "What were you doing to her?"

"I was tickling her." Hidan told me. "She kicked me in the shin so I wanted to get her back. I knew you and Blondie would flip a shit if I hurt her, so I was just tickled her."

My eyebrow twitched in annoyance. "If he was only tickling you, why were you screaming like he was raping you?" I snarled, glaring at Kathryn.

She pouted. "He gave me a Wet-Willy." She looked down in a guilty fashion. My hand twitched and I fought the urge to smack her in the side of the head.

Noticing my renewed irritation, she yelped and scampered away to hide behind Sasori. "Danna! Protect me from Alice. She's going to eat me!"

I turned to glare after her. "Sasori wouldn't even be a challenge for me to get through."

She shook her head, grabbed Sasori's shoulder and shook him at me. "Fear the unrestrained sarcasm! Fear it!"

Sasori just sighed, pushed her hands off his shoulders, wrapped his arm around her neck and pulled her into a headlock. "You should fear it too, brat."

"Hey!" She pouted. "I am not Deidara! You can't call me brat!"

"I call you what I want." Sasori told her calmly. "Come and get your woman, brat."

Deidara laughed. "Okay Danna, un." He picked up Kathryn bridal style and kissed her cheek as he took her away from Sasori's arms. She squealed and kissed him back before pecking Sasori on his forehead.

"I fucking love these artists!" She told me with a playful smile. Konan giggled at her and a few of the others chuckled.

I just rolled my eyes, apologized to Hidan with a pat on his head before sitting beside Pein and Itachi again.

The rest of the night went by without anything too exciting.

* * *

Monday came and Kathryn and I went to school. My three periods took forever and I left the school happily when it was time to go. However, this was the one time I wished I had school all day.

I left the school, eager to get home and cuddle with my bed buddies when I noticed a _very_ familiar black truck blocking my path to my Hummer. I frowned, wondering what the truck was doing here and where it came from before something clicked.

I opened my mouth to curse my bad luck before a hand clamped over it and I was knocked unconscious.

_Shit._ Was my last thought.

* * *

_Hugs and Kudos to anyone who can guess what's going on!_

_TanglePelt already wins because she predicted this was going to happen a long time ago._

_But that doesn't mean you can't win either._

_Read! Review! But mostly enjoy!  
_


	19. Chapter 19

_A lot of you guys won. _

_Good job._

_So anyways, here's the story._

_I don't own Naruto  
_

**

* * *

Third Person!**

Itachi sat up in Alice's bed and looked around. He frowned, wondering where the girl was. He looked at the digital clock on her dresser to see that it was past the time she usually got home. He stood up in confusion and searched the house quietly, taking care not wake anyone.

Itachi returned to Alice's room, scratching his head in confusion with a frown on his face. He had been unable to locate the girl. Her vehicle wasn't outside either so he didn't know where she was. Usually if she had to go somewhere, she would have stopped in to tell them.

"Kisame, get up." Itachi said calmly, rousing the shark. Kisame sat up tiredly and looked around the room.

"Where's Alice?" Kisame asked, rubbing his eyes.

Itachi frowned. "I haven't been able to find her. She should have been home by now."

"Did you ask Sasori? Maybe she talked to him." Kisame suggested, looking up at him.

"I didn't. Come with me." Itachi stated. Kisame nodded and stood, following after his partner to the guest room where Sasori was. The puppet master was sitting on the edge of the bed, reading a book. He looked up when Itachi and Kisame came in.

"What are you two doing?" He asked.

Itachi frowned. "Have you talked to Alice?"

Sasori shook his head. "I said goodbye to her and Kathryn this morning, but I haven't since. She hasn't come home yet. I would have sensed her." He looked at the clock. "She should have been back by now."

Itachi nodded. "I know that's why I'm asking you. She wouldn't have gone anywhere without telling one of us. I'm worried."

"I'm sure she's fine, Itachi." Kisame soothed. "She's probably just stocking up on more food like she was doing yesterday."

"Maybe, but she still would have told one of us." Itachi said dully. Deidara stirred and raised his eyebrows when he saw Itachi and Kisame.

"What's going on, un?" He asked.

Sasori looked at him. "We can't find Alice."

Deidara sat up. "What?" He looked around in shock. Deidara, like the rest of the Akatsuki had developed a strong bond with their caretakers. Alice missing instantly worried him.

"We need to go tell Pein-sama." Kisame said calmly. "We'll find her." He led the other three Akatsuki members to Louis and Brett's room. He cracked it open to see all of them were awake, either already up or getting up.

"Kisame?" Konan asked. "What's up?"

Kisame entered the room, leading the others. "We can't find Alice."

Pein looked around at him. "What do you mean you can't find her?"

"She's not in the house. She didn't tell anyone she was going anywhere either." Itachi informed him. "She said that she would never do that."

"Do you think something happened to her?" Kakuzu asked; slight concern in his voice.

Sasori frowned. "Maybe she just decided to stay at the school."

"Don't you think she'd tell us though?" Hidan wondered, sitting on the air mattress tiredly. "Alice isn't the kind of person to just forget to do something like that."

Konan opened her mouth to speak when a ringing sounded throughout the house. Pein raised his eyebrow and went to the phone on the nightstand. He looked at the caller ID. "It says it's Brett. Maybe it's the one boy she lives with."

"Answer it." Konan urged.

Pein lifted the phone off the hook and answered. "Hello?"

_"Hey, it's Brett, is Alice there?_" Brett's voice came from the speaker.

"No, she isn't. We don't know where she is." Pein told him.

"_Who is this?_" Brett questioned.

Pein raised his eyebrows. "It's Pein. Do you know where Alice is?"

"_No I don't. She called me a few minutes ago, but I could only hear muffled voices and a few thuds._" Brett informed him. "_Where is Kathryn?_"

"She's at school." Pein said calmly. "Do you have any idea where Alice could be? I'll send Itachi after her."

"_I don't have a clue._" Brett said. He paused and a deeper voice could be heard talking. "_Wait a second Louis; you can't suddenly blame this on Adam._" Quiet talking ensued. "_He would never be stupid enough to kidnap Alice. Not after what you did to him._" More talking sounded.

Pein frowned. "Adam is her old boyfriend correct? He's the large one with black hair?"

"_Yeah that's him. Wait a second, how did you know that?_" Brett asked.

"He was being rude to her when we were at the large store Alice called the mall." Pein clarified. "The short male thinks she's with him?"

"If that asshole did anything to her I'm sacrificing his ass." Hidan snarled.

"_Louis thinks he might be with her._" Brett confirmed. "_I'm going to try and call him. I guess all of you should just wait and see if she turns up. Maybe wait for Kathryn._"

"Very well." Pein said dully.

"_Bye Pein-sama!_" Brett said cheerfully before hanging up.

Pein returned the phone to its spot before addressing the present members. "The short boy named Louis thinks that Alice's previous boyfriend has her. The one named Brett disagrees but said he was going to try and find her."

"So what the fuck are we supposed to do?" Hidan demanded. "Let's try calling her."

Pein opened his mouth to retort when the phone started ringing again. His eyes narrowed. "It's Alice." He picked up the phone. "Hello?"

He heard nothing so he repeated his greeting.

"_Adam._" Her voice said in a faint, strained whisper. "_Don't call. Don't worry. I'll be alright_" Pein surprised himself when he felt emotions akin to worry and anger coursing through him at the sound of her voice.

He frowned as the dial tone sounded.

"What happened?" Itachi questioned.

Pein looked at Itachi. "All she said was 'Adam' and to not call her or to worry." He returned the phone to its spot. "I guess that means she is with him."

"We have to go and get her." Kisame said seriously. "If that guy was as mean to her as she says he was, we can't leave her there!"

"We don't have a clue how to get there, Kisame." Sasori said calmly. "Calm down." Deidara frowned at his Danna. He heard an almost undetectable difference in the puppet's tone.

Kisame turned to protest but was stopped by Kakuzu. "Sasori is right, Kisame. Let's think this through."

Itachi crossed his arms. "We need Kathryn. She can help us find her." He glanced around the room. "We have to go and get her."

"We know the way to the school, un." Deidara nodded. He looked to Pein. "Can we?"

"Yes. Find Kathryn, make her show you where Alice is, get her and return. Do not kill or harm anyone unless it's for the safety of Alice, Kathryn, or yourselves." Pein nodded. "Konan and I will stay here. The six of you go, now."

They bowed slightly before vanishing. They sped through the town, Itachi leading the way, to the school building they traveled to many times before. Itachi called them to a halt as they perched on the trees in the woods surrounding the campus.

"Search for Kathryn, and then we'll go in together." He ordered.

Kisame frowned. "I see Alice's car." He pointed to it in the student parking lot. "She never even made it to her car."

"He must have been waiting for her." Hidan stated. "Fucking creep…"

"I found her." Itachi stated. "She's on the second floor, in the room furthest from us on the opposite side of the building." He jumped from his tree to the roof of the school. He focused the chakra to his feet as the others joined him to walk down the side of the wall.

He peered into the classroom to see Kathryn sitting one row away from the window, gazing outside lazily. He nodded returned to the roof. "She's in the room just below us."

"Let's fucking get her!" Hidan urged. "We need to get Alice as soon as possible!"

Itachi frowned. "We can't just go bursting in the window."

"Let's go through this, then." Kakuzu stated, breaking a door down. "It leads into the school." He waited for the others to reach him before leading the way down some stairs and through another door.

"Alright, we'll need to get her without causing a commotion." Sasori stated. "You said this room, right Itachi?" He asked, going to a door with a bunch of numbers on it. When Itachi nodded he tried the handle. He frowned when it didn't open. "It's locked."

"So knock, Danna, yeah." Deidara told him. Sasori did as suggested and stepped back to let Itachi and Deidara take the lead before the door was opened by the teacher. He stepped back, raising an eyebrow at the intruders.

Deidara smiled at him. "We're here for Kathryn, un."

"Deidara?" Kathryn's voice came from somewhere in the classroom.

The teacher frowned. "Do you have a pass?"

"No we fucking don't!" Hidan snapped.

"She has some family issues to attend to. It's an emergency." Kisame told him. He pushed passed the teacher and strode into the class. A few of the students gasped and froze at his sheer size. He spotted Kathryn and marched over to her. "Time to go, kiddo."

"What's going on, Kisame?" Kathryn asked. "Is everyone okay?" She looked around him to see the others. "What happened?" Kathryn could see the urgency on Kisame's face. The others looked slightly irritated and worried.

"We'll explain everything on the way." Sasori told her. "However, we need to go." He glanced at Kisame. "Bring her along, Kisame."

Kisame held his hand out for Kathryn and she grabbed it. He picked her up and walked out of the classroom with her.

"Wait a minute! You can't just barge in here and take my student!" The teacher protested. "I would like to see a note or some identification."

"Mr. Bender, it's alright, these guys are members of my family." Kathryn soothed from Kisame's arms. "I promise I'll be at school tomorrow if we still have it."

"Let's fucking go." Hidan sighed. "This old fucker is driving me nuts." He led them up the stairs back to the roof. Kisame set Kathryn down when they made it. She rushed to Deidara and clung to him.

"What's going on guys?" She looked over them. "Where is Alice?" She looked to Itachi. "Itachi, tell me what's going on. Where is she?"

"That's what we're here for." Itachi told her. He pointed to her Hummer. "She was taken by that Adam guy just after she left the school. She's been missing since."

Kathryn's eyes widened. "I know where to go. He would have taken her to his house."

"Do you know where he lives?" Kakuzu asked.

"I've gone there with Alice before." She looked scared. "He pretty much lives there alone since his parents are always working."

"You're sure he took her there?" Kisame questioned.

She nodded before she looked around. "Come on, let's go." Deidara nodded and slung her on his back in a piggy back. They shot off the roof with Kathryn in tow while she directed them where to go.

While they traveled, Kathryn explained Adam's extreme temper issues and his unhealthy obsession with Alice, as well as all of the things he did to her in the past. By the time she finished, all of the murderers were disgusted and furious at the man who kidnapped Alice.

With Kathryn's directing they found themselves before a very, very large house with a massive black truck in the driveway. Kathryn glanced at them. "She should be here. We need to find her soon. Adam's probably already done something to her."

"I'll kill him." Itachi growled.

Kathryn closed her eyes. "Just find her please. I want to find Alice." She started shaking. Deidara pulled her into a hug when tears started running down her cheeks. "Please don't let him hurt Alice, I _need_ her."

"Don't worry Kathryn, un." Deidara soothed. "Alice will be alright. She's tough. And none of us are going to let anything bad happen to her, yeah." He kissed her head. "Just take a deep breath, calm down and stay at my side, hmm."

Kakuzu grunted. "I've found her. She's in the back."

"It's very faint." Sasori added with a strange look in his eyes. "We need to hurry."

Kisame led them around to the back and noticed two huge dogs sleeping on a patio in front of a glass door. "She's just through that door."

"It's Sparta and Rudi." Kathryn whispered. "They're Adam's dogs. If they find us they'll alert Adam that we're here."

Hidan nodded. "Okay, so we kill the dogs."

"You can't kill them!" Kathryn protested; her inner vegetarian and animal-lover coming out. "Just make them run away. They'd just be doing what they were trained to do."

Deidara smirked. "I've got this. I stole some clay from the huge store we were at yesterday, un." He formed a small bird with the clay and made a hand seal for it to come to life. He made it go before the dogs, getting their attention.

The dogs instantly got up and chased after the bird, drawing them away from the door long enough for the ninjas in hiding to hurry inside, undetected.

Deidara put Kathryn down. "Stay right with me Kathryn. Do not let go of me for any reason do you understand, hmm? We're going to get Alice for you, yeah." She nodded.

"It's getting fainter." Sasori hissed urgently. Kathryn noticed there was a strange tone to Sasori's voice. He seemed both angry and worried. She wasn't expecting that from him.

Hidan stepped forward, volunteering to go in first. He kicked the door down, announcing their presence. As soon as the door was down, the ninja infiltrated, separating around the room.

"I guess the boyfriend decided to come." An amused voice said from further inside the room. "Today is my lucky day, isn't it?"

Adam stood up from a couch and crossed his arms. He smirked when he saw Kathryn. "You brought Kathryn too? How nice…" He waved at her. "Hi Kathryn."

"You fucker, where is Alice?" She demanded.

"Don't be rude, Kathryn. Alice is just fine." He said, waving his hand in her direction. "How did you get passed the dogs?"

"I took care of them, un." Deidara informed him. "Now hand over Alice, or I'll turn you into art, yeah."

Adam snorted. "Look here Blondie, I'm twice your size. You wouldn't stand a chance."

"Yeah? And I'm twice your size." Kisame growled, appearing a few feet behind Adam. "Now where the hell is Alice?"

Adam turned around and a click sounded. He pressed the barrel of a gun to Alice's unconscious form. "She's right here."

"Adam don't!" Kathryn yelped. "Please don't."

He glanced back at her. "Call off the Smurf."

"Kisame, get away from him. If he pulls the trigger Alice will die." Kathryn stated. Kisame frowned but complied, backing away from Adam; his eyes were locked on Alice.

"Now let's talk, shall we?" Adam said with a smirk. "I don't want to kill Alice, but I will if I need to." He pressed the gun hard against her head which was in shadow.

Kathryn whimpered and tightened her grip on Deidara. "What do you want, Adam?"

Adam glanced at her. "I have what I want. Right now, I'd rather you quit trespassing."

"Give us Alice and we'll go." Kathryn told him.

Adam shook his head. "That would be taking what I want. That's not beneficial to me at all. If fact, I could just kill you and solve both issues."

"Sasori." Itachi said calmly.

"I'm already on it." He replied. Kathryn looked at him to see Sasori lock on to Adam with chakra strings, holding Adam in place.

"Kakuzu." Itachi stated, glancing at the miser.

Kakuzu nodded. "I hear you." His hand shot forward, and it grabbed Alice, his tentacles wrapped around her and gently lifted her away from the gunman. She was brought across the room to him. He held her carefully in his arms, frowning when he could smell her blood.

"Hidan, get the weapon from him." Itachi ordered, appearing inches from Adam, his Sharingan blazing. Hidan grumbled about being ordered around but obeyed.

"I'll shoot you if you touch me." Adam threatened.

"Go for it fucker, I can't die." Hidan challenged, breaking Adam's hand in order to extract the gun from his grip.

Adam hissed in pain. "What the fuck are you guys?"

"I'm pissed that's what I am." Itachi snapped. "You're lucky my orders prevent me from killing you or else you would be going through unimaginable pain for what you did to Alice."

"Itachi, let's go." Kisame stated. "We need to get Alice home."

Itachi didn't budge. He continued to glare at Adam, debating on whether or not to use to use his Genjutsu on him.

"Itachi, please, let's go home." Kathryn begged as she, Deidara, and Kakuzu began heading towards the door with Alice. "Alice is hurt."

Itachi looked back at her, the tone of her voice bringing him back to reality. "Alright, let's go everyone." He darted to the door with Kisame while Sasori released Adam. Hidan left the room last, making sure Adam didn't pull out another gun to fire at them while they retreated.

Kakuzu looked down at Alice when they stopped on top of a building a safe distance from Adam's house. His eyes narrowed as he resituated her in his arms gently.

Alice was covered in bruises and cuts. She was bleeding from various places and it was obvious she had a few broken bones. Her breathing was very weak and she was completely out.

He looked up when Itachi approached him. "She's in bad shape."

Itachi knelt beside him and looked Alice over. "We need to get her to Konan. She's the closest thing to a medical ninja we have."

Kathryn was clutching Deidara, burying her face into his chest after taking a look at Alice. Deidara held onto her, his hands clenched into angry fists behind her.

Kisame took her from Kakuzu and carried her to the condo. He took her up stairs to her bed so he could put her down. Itachi put towels on her bed beneath her so her blood didn't stain the sheets.

Pein and Konan came into the room to inspect the damage. Kathryn was sitting on the bed beside Alice who was still unconscious, not responding to anything. Kathryn looked up at Konan's arrival.

"Konan." She whispered. "Alice is hurt."

Konan put her hand on Kathryn's head. "I know Kathryn, just leave it to me. I'm going to make it better." Kathryn nodded and moved out of her way. Deidara pulled her into a hug when a quiet sob slipped through her lips. He began muttering words of comfort in her ear to calm her.

"Itachi, Kisame, get some water and towels." Konan stated, she felt them vanish as she summoned her chakra. "Kakuzu, I might need you so stay here. Same with you, Sasori." Itachi appeared back in the room with his hands full of towels. He deposited them on the bed at Alice's feet just as Kisame came back in the room with a large bucket of water.

"She has a few broken bones." Konan announced, examining Alice. "Four of her ribs are broken; her wrist is snapped as are some of her fingers. Her right shoulder has been dislocated." She sighed. "She has some gruesome bruising on her too."

Konan moved Alice's hair out of her face. "She's got some cuts as well. It looks like some of these could use some stitches." She looked at Kakuzu. "See what you can do."

"Right." He nodded, walking closer to Alice, leaving Hidan by the door. He sat on the edge of the bed and noticed some deeper wounds on her.

Deidara took Kathryn out of the room as Konan and Kakuzu worked on Alice. Hidan and Kisame went with them. They returned after a time to see that Sasori and Itachi hadn't budged.

Kakuzu did as needed and Konan use her medical ninjutsu to heal Alice as best as she could. When Konan did all she could, Alice had her hand in a brace, ten stitched gashes, a wrapped torso, and stained towels.

Itachi sat beside Alice on her bed; he ran his finger gently along her cheek, caressing her face softly. He hadn't taken his eyes off her since he'd gotten Konan the towels.

Alice jerked at his touch and her eyes opened slowly. She winced when she tried to breathe at first but eventually adjusted to the situation. She just stared blankly at the ceiling before her eyebrows met and her eyes narrowed.

"How in the fuck did I get here?" She asked herself, seemingly oblivious to the others. Her eyes closed. "Fuck, I'm probably late in picking up Kathryn. She's probably bitching…"

Kathryn giggled, taken aback by Alice's attitude despite her condition. Alice heard this and turned her head towards the sound. "What are you all doing in here?"

"Alice, are you okay?" Kakuzu asked, sitting beside her on the bed still.

Alice raised her eyebrow. "Now that you mention it, my body hurts like a bitch, but I'm pretty sure I'm fine." Her eyes widened. "Oh shit, my car is still at the school."

Sasori smacked his forehead. "I don't know why we were worried. Her attention span can't focus on her pain long enough for it to matter." He shook his head. "She's just like Hidan."

Alice turned her head to glare at him. "Hey Sasori, shut the hell up." She closed her eyes and sighed. "As soon as I wake up, he's already in asshole mode."

Itachi chuckled, gaining her attention.

"There's my sexy beast." Alice sighed with slight relief. "How are you?"

Itachi frowned at her. "I'm fine; you should be more concerned with yourself, Alice."

She scoffed. "I've had worse." She looked around. "Where is my shark?"

"I'm right here, Alice." Kisame said, waving at her from the bean chair.

Alice smiled in response and continued looking around the room. "Pein and Konan even came in here to see me? Wow, I must have been on my deathbed."

"You're right Danna; she is like Hidan, un." Deidara chuckled.

"That's a fucking compliment." Hidan stated loudly. "Pain has no effect over us."

"Yeah, I'm too tired to argue with you right now." Alice sighed. "Sasori got most of my fight when he decided to be a jerk." Sasori chuckled. "I missed you too, Sasori." Alice looked at Konan who was smiling at her. "Thank you. I know you're the only one capable of healing me this well. I appreciate it, Konan."

"You're very welcome, Alice." Konan said sweetly. "I'm glad you're feeling okay."

"That makes two of us." Alice agreed. She turned to Kakuzu. "Thank you as well, Kakuzu. I'd give you a hug of thanks but my body hates me right now."

Kakuzu chuckled and patted her forehead. "Don't mention it, kid."

"Hey guys?" Alice called, her eyes closing.

"Yeah?" Everyone responded.

She smiled faintly. "Thank you all. Very much..." Her smile faded and she passed out.

* * *

_I wrote this damn thing with a cat digging it's claws into my side._

_I do not like cats._

_I prefer dogs. Which is why I have three._

_Lol, one was howling in her sleep last night. It was adorable. I wasn't even annoyed._

_Anyways, this is kinda lame because I was writing it at like 4 in the morning and I was tired._

_So spare me._


	20. Chapter 20

_I just want to let you all know that I love Kisame._

_ALOT_

_Anyways, here's the next chapta!_

_Enjoy it because I don't own Naruto.  
_

**

* * *

First Person!**

I opened my eyes to see I wasn't alone. The first thing I saw was Kisame sitting beside me on my bed in my bedroom. My head was resting on something that wasn't a pillow. I looked up to see Itachi's body. I'm assuming my head was in his lap because I don't have any other explanation. To be honest, I was slightly confused.

I turned my attention to the rest of my room. Kakuzu was sitting on my bed as well. Kathryn was sitting in Deidara's lap in my bean chair. Sasori sat in my good computer chair while Hidan sat in the spare. I smiled at this.

"Hey, look who's fucking awake!" Hidan said cheerfully, pointing at me.

"I was enjoying the silence." I sighed. I winced, that hurt. My ribs killed.

Itachi put his hands on my face. "Are you okay, Alice?"

"I'm fine, I'm just a bit sore." I assured him. "I've had worse." I looked to Kathryn. "I'm sorry about not picking you up from school."

"Don't worry about it." Kathryn smiled. "They kidnapped me from school when you didn't get home in time. My class shit themselves when Kisame barged in." She giggled.

"I fucking love you Kisame." I stated. "I want to hug the shit out of you, but I can't really move that much right now." I looked around the room. "I want to hug all of you actually. I need to make a To-Do List."

Kakuzu looked over me. "You're lucky you can even talk kid."

"I know I am. I owe all of you guys big time." I sighed. "I'll try to never be mean to you again. You can pull out the guilt trip if I do."

"Pity, I was hoping for a sarcastic comment." Sasori pouted.

"Hey Mr. Puppet, I love you too." I smiled at him. "So, where did Pein and Konan go?"

Itachi looked at me. "They left just a few minutes before you woke up. Konan was very concerned. Pein wanted to keep Tobi from trying to suffocate you."

I laughed but ended up wincing and coughing. "Ouch, that fucking hurt." I sighed and calmed down. "I guess I have to resort to being a sourpuss like Sasori until I'm all better since laughing causes me pain."

"You're lucky you're injured." Sasori growled.

I rolled my eyes. "I'd rather you be able to beat me up than for you to have to go easy on me. It's no fun." I frowned after a moment of silence. "So, how in the hell _did _I get here?"

"We came and got you." Kisame informed me.

I raised my eyebrows. "None of you got hurt or anything right?"

"No, we're all fine, un." Deidara assured me.

"I had to break that fucker's wrist though." Hidan informed me. "He was holding some metal thing to your head."

I glanced at Kathryn.

"He had a gun to your head." She explained.

"Again?" I questioned. "Damn that guy is desperate." I looked at Hidan. "Thank you for not killing him. I don't want to have to deal with the police or whatever."

"Don't mention it." Hidan stated. "I'd rather have fucking killed him. Well, I probably would have had to have beaten the fucking Uchiha to it. He was pissed as shit."

"We were all pissed." Kisame corrected. "How anyone could do that to Alice is beyond me." He added.

"You're so sweet Kisame." I smiled. "I really wish I could give hugs." I rested my head in Itachi's lap. "I need my pain killers." I shook my head. "No, I want Tobi, forget the drugs. I need a ball of fun."

"Why do you want Tobi?" Kakuzu asked.

"Because he will hug me." I stated. "Someone get him."

Itachi placed his hand on my forehead. "I don't think you can handle Tobi in your condition, Alice."

"I do what I need to, to get hugs." I said seriously. "I need Tobi. I'm honestly surprised Kathryn isn't over here showering me with love."

"I'm holding onto her, yeah." Deidara explained. "She already attempted to jump on you, hmm." I looked towards them to see Kathryn indeed begin restrained by the bomber.

"So, since Kathryn is out of the question, I'm going to yell for Tobi." I announced. "Tobi!" I said in a normal tone. Nothing? I tried louder. "Tobi! If you want to be a super good boy, get in here!" I smirked in victory when I heard fast footsteps.

Tobi burst into my room and rushed to my side. "Alice-chan wanted Tobi?"

"Yes I did. Can you do me a favor, Tobi, dearest?" I asked.

"Tobi will do what Alice-chan wants because Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi told me.

I smiled. "Yes Tobi, you are a very good boy. Now, I'd like a hug from you. None of the people in here will give me one, and I really need one so you're my first option."

Tobi made to hug me but was stopped. "Be careful you moron." Kisame stated. "If you hurt her I'll throw you through a window."

"Tobi would never hurt Alice-chan." Tobi told Kisame. I smiled in happiness as Tobi gave me a very much needed hug. I returned it with the one arm I could move.

"Thank you very much, Tobi." I smiled at him. "You can go and do what you want now. As soon as I can move around again, I'll get you something nice."

"You're very welcome, Alice-chan!" Tobi said happily, skipping from the room. Konan and Pein stood in the doorway looking slightly confused. Zetsu was behind them looking disturbed at the scene that just transpired.

I smiled when the door closed. "I feel much better now." I told the room. "See, I told you I needed a hug."

Itachi smiled at me and caressed my face. "We didn't want to risk causing you further pain." He stated. I smiled at him in response and touched his face with my left hand; my right arm was completely immobile.

"Does anyone know why I can't move my right arm at all?" I wondered. "It's not moving and I can't feel it. It's annoying the piss out of me."

"Your shoulder was dislocated." Kisame explained. "You also have a broken wrist and three broken fingers."

"Shit." I stated. "Now I can't flip Sasori off with that hand."

"Damn." Sasori said sarcastically with a mock shake of his head and a fake tongue click of disappointment. "I was looking forward to that."

I glared at him. "Stop being sarcastic because laughing hurts so I can't enjoy what you say." I pouted. "This sucks so much shit."

"No!" Kathryn yelped. "Someone make the pout go away!" She pointed at me.

Itachi looked confused. "What?"

"Alice's pouting face is heart wrenching. Make it stop!" Kathryn explained. "It's just as bad if not worse than Kisame's."

"There is no way." I disagreed. "That shit is adorable. There is no pouting face I've ever seen that can be compared to Kisame's pouting face." I sighed. "I don't know how Kisame, or any of the guys for that matter, aren't swimming in females on a daily basis in their world."

Kathryn laughed. "That's probably because they're renowned murders. To anyone other than us they're probably as intimidating as you can get."

I dipped my head in consideration. "To us they're about as intimidating as a box full of kittens." I closed my eyes before something in my memory clicked and I burst out laughing. I couldn't get rid of the image of them as kittens in a box on my doorstep.

Once I started laughing, the pain in my ribs came back so I was laughing at both my statement and my pain. I was trying to stop but it wasn't working out like I expected it to.

After a few minutes I managed to calm down. "Ouch, breathing and laughing suck." I gasped. I giggled. "You guys actually were a box full of kittens so that struck me as hilarious."

I looked around the room to see they were all looking at me like I was insane and with some concern. I just sighed and winced before replacing my head back in Itachi's lap. "Lame."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Hidan asked.

I shook my head. "I've been trying to figure that out for sixteen years dear. I haven't come up with anything yet."

"There is nothing wrong with you, Alice." Itachi said firmly.

I pouted. "It's so sweet! Damn my inability to give hugs!"

"You really like hugs don't you?" Sasori questioned.

I scoffed. "Well of course! Hugs are only the best thing on the face of the planet. It's like portable heaven." I explained.

"I don't see the significance of such things." He stated. "It's just a simple gesture."

"A gesture of love!" I rectified. "There are very few things on this world that are better than hugs." I pointed at Sasori. "As soon as I can function, you are getting one."

He gave me a flat stare. "Take your time."

Kathryn leapt out of Deidara's grip and glomped Sasori. Sasori sighed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled his face. "Kathryn, this is unnecessary."

"It is very necessary, Danna." She corrected. "Return the hug or I'm not letting go."

Sasori rolled his eyes and hugged Kathryn with one arm. She smiled brightly at him, kissed his cheek, and hurried back to Deidara's lap. He crossed his arms once she left him and looked at me. "I felt nothing."

"That's because you're a fucking puppet." Hidan stated.

I giggled when Sasori shrugged. I sighed and tried to move, only to feel restraining hands on me. I looked at the three responsible. "What?" I asked Kisame, Itachi, and Kakuzu.

"You aren't in any condition to move yet, Alice." Itachi told me.

Kisame gave me a sympathetic smile. "You were out for a while and you were in bad shape, you really shouldn't move around yet."

Kakuzu just shook his head at me before letting me go, leaving the other two to hold me down. My eye twitched in irritation.

"You guys are overreacting." I frowned. "I've had worse. I deal with more pain than this on a daily basis. I want to get up to get pain killers. That and I want to wash jackass off me."

"Can you shower?" Kathryn asked.

I sighed. "I certainly hope so." I glanced at her. "I have to get them to let me up first." I looked at Kisame and Itachi expectantly. Kisame sighed and removed his hands. Itachi frowned for a moment before complying, moving out from under me so he could help me up.

I sat up, accepting his offered hand. I winced as my ribs seared. "Ouch, damn my ribcage." I stopped for a minute to get used to the pain and because Itachi looked worried.

Kathryn looked at me. "Alice, maybe you should have one of them get your pain killers. I don't think stairs are good for you right now."

"I'll go." Itachi stated. "Stay there." He instructed.

"They're in the cabinet over the sink. Just bring all of the pills on the right side up here. Most of them are mine anyways." I told him as he went to the door. He nodded and disappeared within the next second.

I took advantage of his absence to stand. I waited a second to see if I was going to die before I took a step towards the bathroom. The ground was suddenly rushing up to meet me as it struck in that exact moment.

"Ah sudden rush!" I stated as all the blood rushed to my head. I frowned in confusion when I didn't hit the ground. I then noticed Sasori had stopped me with his jutsu, looking worried and shocked. I wonder why… Maybe it was reflex?

"Thanks Sasori, I owe you." I told him with a sigh as Kisame helped me back to the bed to sit. Sasori released his jutsu when he was certain I was safe. Kisame had me upright in his gentle grip until Itachi returned.

"I told you to stay." Itachi said flatly from the doorway.

I looked down with guilt in my heart. "I wanted to stand. I think that might be still out of my reach for a bit." I sighed. "My life sucks."

"You should have listened to me and stayed put." Itachi said as he placed the pill bottles on the bed beside me. I searched through them, seeing he had grabbed only mine. I picked the ones I needed and swallowed them.

"And I told _you_ that you're overreacting." I reminded him.

Kathryn smiled at me. "I'm not helping you shower. It looks like you're going to have to ask one of the guys. Might I suggest Hidan?"

I smacked my forehead. "I hate you. I'm not showering."

"You can always ask Itachi." She suggested with a shrug and a smirk.

I looked up at her. "Can I go shower yet?"

Kisame snickered with Kathryn, Deidara, and Hidan while the other two just smacked their foreheads at my antics. Itachi was smirking with the slightest blush on his perfect face.

I frowned as something came to mind. "Have you guys eaten today?"

"No." They all said in unison. Except for Sasori who said yes sarcastically because he's an ass. I shot him a glare and he smirked knowingly. "I'm so sorry guys; I'll order pizza right now. I didn't mean for you guys to go hungry. I feel bad now."

"You bitch." Sasori said, shaking his head.

"Fuck off puppet boy." I growled. "I actually do feel really bad."

Kisame kissed my head. "Don't worry about it, Alice." He smiled at me when I pouted. "Honestly, we're fine. It's not like we've never gone a day without eating dinner."

I shook my head. "That's not an excuse. I still feel bad." I grabbed my phone and quickly ordered some pizza to be delivered to the house. I ordered twelve because I was pretty damn sure all of the Akatsuki, minus Konan, could each eat one by themselves. Kisame could probably eat two, along with Hidan. I was kind of scared for Zetsu as well.

"So, who wants to take me down stairs?" I asked, looking around at all of the men in the room. Kisame chuckled and picked me up gently, taking great care not to cause me any discomfort. Awe, he was so considerate. He deserves a medal.

After I was carted down to the living room, I saw Pein and Konan sitting on the couch watching some TV with Zetsu. Tobi was busy coloring… I didn't know we even had markers…

"Oh, you're up." Konan said with a relieved smile. "How are you feeling?"

"I feel like I was sucker-punched." I told her. "However, it's highly likely that I _was _sucker-punched." I shrugged in Kisame's arms. "That will end soon, I just took a shit load of painkillers."

Kathryn gasped and looked at Pein. "They won't hurt you right?" She looked at me in horror. "Alice, your painkillers won't actually kill him will they?"

I smacked my forehead as Pein's eye twitched in annoyance. "No Kathryn, my pain killers will have no affect on Pein unless he decides he wants to go suicidal and overdose." She sighed with relief and touched her heart.

"That's good to know." She said with a smile. "Oh! Coloring! Tobi, I want to color with you!" She declared loudly, releasing Deidara to scurry over to Tobi and join him on the coffee table with his coloring supplies. He responded happily, more than willing to share.

"Good boy, Tobi." I praised as Kisame set me down on the couch. I looked to Pein, Konan, and Zetsu. "I'm really sorry you guys. I should have taught you how to use the accessories in the kitchen so you could have eaten. I feel bad because you guys haven't eaten all day." I grabbed my jacket that was on the side of the couch and pulled out my wallet.

"It's fine, Alice. Your wellbeing is more important than a meal." Pein stated calmly.

I smiled at him. "I'm honored you think that, but I still feel bad." I got the money for the pizza and handed it to Kathryn. "That's for the pizza man." I glanced at Pein, Konan, and Zetsu. "I ordered twelve pizzas. I got you your own meat-lovers Zetsu."

"Good work, Alice." Zetsu praised with a nod. He could be nice if he wanted to be.

I leaned my head against Itachi when he sat beside me. "You each pretty much have your own. There should be enough unless you all eat a ridiculous amount."

"Thank you." Konan said kindly.

Kathryn looked up from her drawing. "Hey Alice, don't you think we should take advantage of their ninja powers?"

I raised my eyebrow. "What are you talking about?"

She pointed at Zetsu. "I mean, we could have him eat people at school we don't like." She turned her finger to Hidan. "We can let him sacrifice people from a distance if we need to." She rubbed her hands together evilly. "So many possibilities…"

"You're an idiot." I stated shortly. "Zetsu would have to eat the entire school."

"**I don't see a problem with that.**" Zetsu commented. I rolled my eyes at him.

I gestured at Hidan with my head. "And he would have to sacrifice everyone in the entire world save a handful of people."

"I fucking second what Zetsu said." Hidan stated. "Let's do it."

I smacked my forehead.

Itachi grabbed my hand and kissed my forehead. "You're going to hurt yourself if you keep doing that."

I sighed. "I'm hoping I'll hit hard enough one of these times to knock myself out so I won't have to deal with their antics for a while."

"I'd rather you didn't do that." Itachi told me kindly.

"I wish she would." Sasori added as he walked away from the window to the computer chair. He returned my glare with a smirk as he sat down.

Kathryn stood up proudly, holding a very… poorly drawn and colored picture of the Akatsuki and the two of us as stick figures, standing in what looked like a grassy field with a tree, some flowers, a few clouds, and a bright sun. We were all labeled.

She skipped over to Deidara. "I drew you a pretty picture."

Deidara looked at it for a minute before laughing and kissing Kathryn's cheek. "It's very nice, Kathryn, yeah. I think you should show the others, un."

"Why are we all holding hands?" Sasori asked, quite capable of seeing the drawing from where he sat. "And what the hell is going on with the sun? It has a face."

He grabbed it from Deidara before passing it around.

Kisame frowned when it got to him. "Why am I bigger than the tree?" He asked.

"That's because you're super tall." Kathryn stated. "Kakuzu is _as_ big as the tree."

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "How realistic…"

"Why the hell are we fucking sticks?" Hidan questioned as Kisame handed the drawing to him and Kakuzu.

"I can't draw people." Kathryn said with a shrug. She missed Kakuzu's second eye roll.

Itachi took the picture from Kakuzu. "What is that sticking out of my head?"

"It's your ponytail!" She clarified.

He nodded as if it made sense. "Why is there a heart between me and Alice?"

She giggled. "You two love each other of course." He handed the picture to Pein.

"There's also one between you and Deidara as well as Konan and I." His eye twitched and I just held back a laugh.

Konan took the picture from him. "It's a very nice drawing Kathryn."

Kathryn hugged Konan with a happy thank you before taking the picture and giving it back to Deidara.

The room span as the painkillers hit me all at once. "Whoa, drugs have kicked in." I closed my eyes and grabbed my head. "Hello drowsiness."

Itachi looked down at me. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fucking peachy." I said with a smile. "I'm warning you all now; my personality and mood are going to change drastically in the next hour or so. I'll either become very mean, or very, very giggly and annoying. Feel free to knock me out if I annoy you."

Kathryn laughed. "I hope she goes to giggly Alice. She's so much fun."

* * *

_Lol, just the thought of that picture makes me laugh._

_Anyways..._

_Does anyone else love Sasori's sarcasm as much as I do?  
_

_I hope you like it._

_Because I live to serve and I serve to please._

_Let me know if you have any input or whatever._

_Good day.  
_


	21. Chapter 21

_I don't know about you guys, but I love Zetsu._

_He's so under appreciated. Him and Kisame._

_They deserve more love._

_I also think you deserve to know that my posts may be a _bit _delayed until after Saturday morning._

_I have a BPA competition, and since I'm an officer, I have to do really well or my teacher will eat my face._

_I don't own Naruto.  
_

**

* * *

Third Person!**

Alice instructed Kathryn to get the door from her spot next to Itachi when the pizza guy arrived. Kathryn jumped up at the command and hurriedly answered the door. She smiled at the pizza guy and gave him his money after asking Kisame and Deidara to get the pizzas from him.

Kathryn shut the door after paying the man. Alice had kindly asked Kisame and Deidara to just put the pizzas on the coffee table because she didn't care if they ate in there. She told them they could go into the kitchen to eat if they wanted though.

"Kathryn, find Zetsu's pizza and give it to him please." Alice said calmly. She had her eyes closed and was rubbing her temple with the one hand she could move. She had just pulled it out of Itachi's hand so he could get some food.

"Kay!" She said sweetly, digging through the pizzas to find the meat-lovers. She handed it to Zetsu who took it to the kitchen to eat in peace. Konan and Pein shared the same box while everyone else snatched a pizza box, not even bothering with the paper plates that came with it.

Itachi watched Alice for a moment before getting a plate like Pein and Konan and calmly getting a few pieces of pizza from one of the left over boxes.

Alice's eyes opened and she looked around the room for a minute. "Did someone just say something?"

Everyone paused in their eating to look at her with concern. "No." They said in unison.

"Fuck." Alice swore, resting her head on the back of the couch.

"How many pills did you take?" Sasori questioned with a chuckle.

Alice looked at him with her good eye. "I'm not entirely sure." Then she snorted, fighting a giggle that was trying to escape.

"Yes!" Kathryn cheered. "Giggly Alice!"

A frown stopped Alice's amusement and she looked at Kathryn. "No."

Kathryn pouted. "Meany."

"Alice, you should eat something." Itachi stated. "You haven't eaten at all today."

Alice smiled at him. "Can I eat you instead?" Itachi's eye twitched slightly as Hidan, Kisame, and Deidara snorted with laughter. Kathryn cackled loudly.

"Okay, something is wrong with her." Sasori stated. "She must have overdosed."

Alice's smile faded when she looked at Sasori. "You overdosed." Kathryn burst into a fit of laughter when she paused in her giggles from before to listen.

"I'm pretty sure I didn't." Sasori said in a flat tone. "You're being moody."

"You're moody." Alice retorted. Kathryn, who was starting to calm down, giggled.

Sasori's concerned expression turned into a flat stare. "Nice comeback."

Alice glared at him. "Stupid wannabe puppet…" Cue more laughter from Kathryn.

"I fucking like this Alice." Hidan said with a smirk.

Alice turned to look at him. "I fucking like you too." She smiled before looking back to Itachi. "So, about my food…" She smiled at him suggestively.

Itachi sighed. "Alice, you need to eat _pizza_." Alice pouted put took the offered piece of pizza from him, muttering about how she wanted to eat the sexy weasel.

"She's high as a fucking kite." Kathryn said, now that she was done laughing.

Alice ignored her and munched on her pizza. She paused halfway through it and looked at Kathryn. "Don't compare me to a druggie."

Hidan paused mid-bite and looked at Alice. "You're a little late with a comeback."

Alice raised her eyebrow at him. "I don't have a clue what you're talking about. I haven't said a damn thing."

Kisame snorted. "Hidan, she's not coherent right now."

Alice looked at Kisame very seriously. "I love you."

"I love you too, Alice." Kisame said with a grin.

Alice nodded with a pleased smile. "I'm loved by a shark." Her eyes found Deidara and she frowned. "It's so yellow…"

"What is, un?" Deidara asked.

"Your hair." Alice told him. "How did it get to be so yellow?" Deidara shrugged and Alice sighed. She rested her head on Itachi's shoulder. "I'm tired."

"You can sleep." Itachi told her.

Alice shook her head. "No I can't. Bad people will get me."

"Who is going to get you?" Sasori questioned.

Alice looked at him with wide eyes. "I can't tell you because Tobi would be mad at me." She shook her head. "Trust me; you're better off not knowing."

"Somehow I think that might be true." Kakuzu stated, looking at Sasori.

Alice threw her empty plate at Kathryn who caught it. "I need to take a shower. I smell like jerk face. Bring the shower here."

"She's fucking out of it." Hidan said with a laugh.

"Alice, I'm pretty sure Kathryn can't carry the shower." Konan said with a small, gentle smile. "Do you need one of us to take you up there?"

Alice looked at Konan. "What are you talking about? Of course Kathryn can't carry the shower. She has to make it come down here. All you have to do is bribe it." She looked at Kathryn. "Take Kakuzu, he's good at bribery."

"How in the hell did I get involved in this?" Kakuzu questioned.

Alice turned her attention to him. "You got involved because you've got brown hair."

"What in the world does that have to do with anything?" Sasori asked.

Alice looked at him. "I have brown hair too. My shower _loves _brown hair."

"Itachi has dark hair. It's close to brown." Kathryn suggested.

"Well, it looks like Itachi gets to bribe the shower." Alice nodded. "He's sexy anyways. He can just sway the tub of wonders with his body."

Pein looked at Alice. "I don't think she should be left alone while she's in this condition. She'll probably kill herself."

Alice smiled at Pein, hearing his voice. "Hi Pein, how are you?"

He raised one of his eyebrows. "I'm fine, how are you?"

"I'm alright, a bit tired. Hey did you know that boy koalas have forked penises?" She informed him. Kathryn started laughing.

"No… I can't say that I did." He admitted in confusion.

"Fun fact of the day." Alice nodded. "Now, back to the matter at hand…"

"Oh no… What now?" Sasori whispered.

Alice frowned around the room. "I can't see my forehead."

Kisame, Hidan, Deidara, and Kathryn all burst into laughter. Sasori and Kakuzu smacked their foreheads while Pein and Konan looked confused and concerned. Itachi just shook his head.

"Itachi, please just take her to the shower. Maybe the water will wake her up." Kakuzu begged. "I can't deal with this any longer. I miss the old Alice."

"How can you miss me when I haven't gone anywhere?" Alice asked. "Are you okay Kakuzu?" Kakuzu just sighed and ran his palm over his face.

Itachi sighed and grabbed Alice's face. She looked at him curiously. "Alice, let's go upstairs so you can take a shower."

Alice tilted her head at him. "I can't stand silly."

"I'll help you." Itachi assured her.

She thought about this for a moment before shrugging her good shoulder. "Fair enough." Itachi picked her up and carried her up the stairs so he could help her in the shower.

Hidan looked around at the others. "How fucking awkward do you think that's going to be?" He chuckled at the thought. "Oh Jashin, when they fucking come back, that'll be the best."

Kathryn crossed her arms. "You know, I really don't think Alice will be too bothered by it. She does live with Brett and Louis. She suffers more embarrassing things than that on the daily." She smirked. "Itachi will be fun to tease though."

"Itachi is _always_ fun to tease." Kisame told her.

Deidara nodded his head in consideration. "That's true, except for when he's pissed, un."

"I actually think it's more fun when he's pissed." Sasori commented.

"I agree." Kakuzu nodded.

Hidan leaned back in his spot on the couch with an empty pizza box on his lap. "Gah, I'm so fucking bored."

"Well, maybe you guys should get some training in." Kathryn suggested. "It's supposed to snow really bad tonight. If you guys go out there when there's snow all over the place, consider yourselves kitties."

"You have a good point, Kathryn." Pein praised. "Let's go and train, guys." The Akatsuki quickly moved to obey him. They stacked all of their pizza boxes on the table and trooped outside to train, Kathryn tagging along.

"What about Itachi?" Konan asked.

"He can join us when he's finished helping Alice." Pein told her.

**First Person Alice!**

Itachi carried me back down the stairs since I was still wobbly and lightheaded. I probably could have done it myself if I moved slowly, but he was more than willing to do it, and his overprotective nature also contributed to the outcome.

He set me on the couch. "The others are outside training. I should probably join them." He told me. "Do you want me to get Kathryn so you can stay in here, or do you want to come outside with us?"

"Outside please. Maybe the cold air will help me clear my head." I stated. I grabbed my jacket and pulled it on, raising the hood to keep my still slightly damp hair shielded from the cold. He nodded at me and picked me up once again.

He transported me to the backyard and set me on one of the chairs on the patio. He kissed my forehead before walking over to Kisame who was sparing with Pein while Konan watched from a lawn chair.

Kisame and Pein stopped when he approached them. They looked at me for a moment before looking back to him. Kisame had a toothy grin on his while Pein remained emotionless. He glanced at Konan who stood to train with him while Kisame moved away with Itachi. He was telling Itachi something with pure amusement on his face. Itachi looked unbothered.

"So, you guys didn't do it did you?" Kathryn asked me as she skipped to my side. She had been throwing sticks at Deidara and Sasori while they were fighting each other.

"No Kathryn, Itachi and I didn't do anything. All he did was help me take a shower." I told her. "You should have seen his blush at first though. I almost died. It was adorable." She giggled and took a seat beside me.

"So are you feeling any better?" She asked.

"A bit yeah. The cold air is helping me clear my head." I took the deepest breath I could without causing myself pain because of my ribs. "So how stupid did I act?"

"Pretty damn stupid." She told me with a laugh. "I loved it."

"I bet you did." I sighed. "Apparently I asked if I could eat Itachi with a seductive tone."

She nodded. "You also said that your shower likes people with dark hair so it would love Kakuzu. You were pretty random." She giggled. "My favorite was when you complained about not being able to see your forehead."

I smacked said forehead with my good hand. "Wow, I bet Sasori wanted to kill me."

"Not kill, just maim." He corrected as he dodged a kick from Deidara. They were standing pretty close to the patio so I wasn't surprised they could hear us.

"You're such a sweetheart Sasori." I told him.

Kathryn giggled. "He totally loves you." She whispered. "Not like Itachi of course, but I think you hit a soft spot in Sasori. You should have seen him when we saved you. He was so worried up until you woke up and started joking around."

I gave her a scoff. "Well of course he does. Who else is he supposed to have a sarcasm battle with?" She rolled her eyes. "You're definitely his favorite though. He tolerates your behavior better than I do."

She shrugged. "Maybe so. They're all so much gentler than I expected them to be. Except Pein of course, I expected him to be pretty much the same."

"Itachi's about how I pictured him." I told her. "I think the one who is the most OOC is probably Hidan or Kakuzu."

"What about me and the jackass?" Hidan asked as he walked up to us.

"Nothing." Kathryn stated with a smile. "Are you done?"

Hidan pointed towards the sky. "It's snowing."

I looked up and sure enough, it was indeed snowing, rather hard. "So, are you guys stopping or are you going to just wait until one of you goes furry with whiskers and a tail?"

"I'd not exactly sure." He shrugged. "Whenever Leader-."

"Kitty!" Kathryn exclaimed, running over to Deidara who was indeed a kitten. Sasori was pointing and chortling at him as the little kitten hissed and growled at him. She scooped him up and started snuggling him.

Hidan and I burst out laughing, I had to hold my side because my ribs started to hurt after a minute, but I couldn't stop because of the irony of the situation.

"I think we should head inside before any more of us become kittens." Pein stated, walking towards the door.

"Too late." I laughed, seeing Sasori and Kakuzu both turn into cats. Kathryn squealed again and picked up Sasori who was kitty-glaring at Deidara who was now kitten-giggling. I snorted when Itachi and Kisame both morphed into kittens a few seconds later.

Pein was standing in the doorway to the house with Konan, both of them safe from the massive amounts of snow falling from the sky. Hidan, who had been busy laughing his ass off at Kakuzu also turned into a kitten and was meowing madly at me

Zetsu had phased into the ground just a few moments after Deidara turned into a kitten and was now safely inside. Tobi however, was running towards the house but didn't make it. He turned into a feline in mid-stride.

I was snickering as I slowly got out of my chair, moving like someone who hadn't moved in years. Itachi, now in kitten form, was meowing at me and watching me with his pretty red eyes. I looked down at him and smiled.

"I'd pick you up, Itachi, but I'm pretty sure I'd fall over if I tried." I told him. I looked at Kathryn. "Put Sasori and Deidara down. Get everyone's clothes for me please. All of you kitties get inside out of the cold."

Kathryn put Sasori and Deidara down at my command and scurried around the backyard, collecting the clothing of the kittens. Meanwhile, most of the kittens were running towards the house, eager to get away from the snow.

Itachi walked by my side as I inched towards the house. Kathryn skipped in ahead of me with a mountain of clothes in her arms. She threw them in the drier at my command and turned it on; making sure none of them had gotten wet.

When I finally made it to the living room to see all of the Akatsuki, minus Itachi, were sitting on a couch together. I smiled at this and took a seat on the empty couch. Itachi hopped up there beside me and sat down.

Konan was currently petting a kitten Tobi. Kakuzu and Hidan were hissing at each other. Deidara was pouting in his kitten ways while Sasori looked irritated. Kisame looked indifferent as he sat beside a calm Pein.

Kathryn sat on the recliner after coming back into the room and scooping up Deidara and Sasori. "So, the question is, do we keep them as kittens, or do we turn them back to human?"

A couple of hissing sounded from the cats.

I picked up Itachi with one hand and moved him with me as I lay on my good side across the entire couch. I placed him beside my face and kissed his furry head. He nuzzled my face with his cute kitten face before lying down in his spot.

I looked towards Kisame and patted a vacant spot. He gave me what looked like a kitten smirk before jumping over to my couch and lying down in the vacancy.

"You know, it's a lot quieter with them as cats." I yawned.

Kathryn giggled. "I agree. Plus, they're so much more convenient as cats."

"I really don't want to see them naked." I sighed. "Not to mention, I can't really get up the stairs like this. I'm not changing them in my kitchen." I smiled. "And you _know _Zetsu's not going to do it."

"**You're damn right I'm not.**" Zetsu told me from the doorway to the kitchen. I believe he secretly eats everything because I swore we had twice the amount of food before I went and bought some the other day. It's either him or Tobi.

It's not that I mind. Zetsu can eat all he wants because I love him and his multiple personalities. I'd just rather not have to go and buy _more_ food because he eats like a cow.

"Well _I'm_ not changing them. I don't need to warp my innocent mind with naked men." Kathryn stated. She looked at Pein. "It looks like it's down to you, Pein. Konan can't do it because nobody wants to see a bunch of naked guys."

Pein sighed. "I'll change them back later. For now, I'm going to enjoy the silence."

* * *

_It's okay Alice, I can't see my forehead either..._

_I was listening to the Kuroshitsuji soundtrack as I typed this._

_Si Deus Mi Relinquit is my jam._

_I might be starting a new fanfiction soon._

_This one will, of course, still be updated as it should be until it's finished,_

_but the one I'm "working on" still needs to be thought out correctly._

_And btw, Alice is a modified version of one of my characters from an actual book I wrote. It's not published or anything, but I wrote it for fun out of boredom._

_Anyways, TTFN  
_


	22. Chapter 22

_Well I'm a pleased banana!_

_We have 100+ reviews._

_I just love you guys that much more._

_In a totally non-lesbian way._

_It is because of your lovely reviews that I am posting this early! You may get another one later because I'm super duper happy.  
_

_I hope you all enjoyed my incorporation of the title in the last chapter._

_Fair warning, there is a bit of OOC in here because this chapter is a bit deep. But it's only in the beginning. Once that's over, it's right back to normal._

_I don't like OOCness._

_I don't own Naruto, but I did have a snowday today.  
_

* * *

As it turns out, all three of us turned the seven kittens back to their true forms. Because my bathtub wouldn't be able to fit all of them as humans, Pein and Konan took Hidan and Kakuzu to Louis and Brett's bathroom. Kathryn took Deidara and Sasori to the bathroom downstairs, leaving me with Tobi, Itachi, and Kisame in my bathroom.

I had barely made it up the stairs and I was currently sitting on the top, wincing at the pain in my arm and ribs. I had a migraine, but it wasn't bad enough for me to be wincing at it yet. Give it some time, and I'd be sore all over.

Itachi was sitting beside me on the top step, looking at me with concern written all over his kitten face. Tobi was licking my good hand, meowing at it sweetly. I moved it to scratch his ear. He purred. Kisame was standing on the step below me, as if making sure I didn't fall.

I rolled my eyes at this before getting up and heading to my bedroom. I ushered them to the bathroom and into the tub. I grabbed a few towels for them to cover up with until they got to their clothes.

Tobi bounced with excitement as I turned on the hot water, sitting on the toilet because I was starting to feel light headed and woozy. I sighed, closing my eyes as the warm water made its way towards them.

I felt strong arms around me before I noticed I had lost my balance and had been falling. I opened my eyes to see a half naked Itachi holding onto me. I smiled weakly at him. He kissed my forehead before he picked me up and carried me to my bed.

Tobi sat beside me on the mattress, already wearing pajama pants but no shirt. I raised my eyebrow, wondering how long it had been. He placed his hand on my forehead.

"Alice-chan has a fever." He told Itachi who was putting on clothes.

"Kisame, will you go and get some warm water in a bowl and towels from downstairs?" Itachi asked. Kisame nodded, kissing my cheek from his spot beside me. I just smiled at him in response. I closed my eyes as a wave of fatigue struck me. Silence ensued for a little while.

"You seem quite attached to the girl, Itachi." A totally different voice stated. I was much too tired to react to Madara's voice coming from Tobi. I didn't even realize it was him at first.

"Hn." Itachi replied. I felt a colder hand on my cheek. I leaned into it slightly when I knew for certain it was Itachi. I kept my eyes closed all the while, too tired to open them.

"What are you going to do when we return to our world?" Madara questioned.

Itachi was quiet for a moment. "I don't know. I don't want to leave her, but I'm not a part of this world. I wish I could stay and yet I wish she could come with me. I've never felt this way towards another." I would have blushed if I wasn't so out of it.

I heard Madara chuckle. "You're not the kind of person to get attached to others Itachi. She's quite unique, but even then, your infatuation with her surprises me. I find her very intriguing and her personality amuses me, but your interest in her is beyond that." I felt him place his hand on my forehead. It shocked me a little bit so I twitched slightly. "You love her."

"Yes." Itachi confirmed in a firm whisper. "She's the only thing I see now."

"Kisame is coming." Madara stated and suddenly Tobi returned. "Alice-chan is sick?"

First thought: _OOC! There's a plethora of OOC going on in here. Maybe it's in the water_

I heard Kisame's heavy footsteps and the sound of something hard being set on the table. I listened to water sloshing before something wet and warm touched my forehead. I jerked, not expecting it in my barely conscious state. I opened my eyes slowly.

"That scared me." I said tiredly. I saw Tobi leaning over me. "Hi Tobi, I didn't even realize you were still here. Is everything okay?"

"Tobi just wanted to make sure Alice-chan was okay because Tobi is a good boy!" He said cheerfully, patting my forehead.

I smiled weakly. "You're a very good boy, Tobi. Thank you for your concern but I'll be alright. I'm never sick for long and I heal quite fast." I glanced to Itachi. "That and I have Dr. Weasel and Dr. Shark taking care of me. Not to mention your hugs are excellent."

Kisame chuckled from where he was while Itachi smiled tenderly. Tobi threw a gentle hug on me before frolicking out of the room. I smiled after him before looking up at Itachi. "So what's the damage Doc?"

"You have a fever. It's low but you should stay in bed because of your lightheadedness and weakness from before." He told me with a sad, weak smirk.

I frowned at him. "What do you look so sad for?"

"I'm fine." He stated, looking slightly confused.

"Don't lie Itachi. I can see it in your face. Something is wrong." I glanced at Kisame. "Beat him up until he tells me."

Itachi smiled while Kisame snickered. Itachi placed a gentle hand on my face. "I'm just worried about you. Seeing you in this state pains me. I never want to see you like this."

I pouted. "Awe, you're going to make me blush. Don't be mushy you jerk it's too adorable when it's coming from you." I reached up to grab the collar of his shirt. I pulled him closer to my face and kissed him.

"Awe, it's so cute!" A squeal came from the doorway. I broke my kiss with Itachi to see Kathryn standing there with a half naked Deidara and Hidan. Sasori and Kakuzu were there too, but they were fully clothed.

"You're such a pussy Uchiha." Hidan laughed.

"Fuck off Hidan; you're just jealous because you don't get to kiss me." I teased. "And if he's a pussy, so are you. Considering you were all just cats, I'd say you're all pussies."

"I resent that comment." Sasori stated seriously.

I smiled at him. "I resent you." He chuckled.

"Very nice." He commented.

"Thank you." I said sweetly. I watched them come into my room and make themselves at home. I smiled.

"It's getting rather late." Itachi stated. "You should sleep, Alice. You've had a very stressful day."

I pouted. "But I wanna fight with Sasori."

Sasori chuckled at me. "We'll continue this tomorrow, kid."

"I'm holding you to that." I told him.

Deidara kissed Kathryn's head. "Come on you should sleep too, yeah. You have school tomorrow, un."

"I hope we have a snow day." Kathryn pouted. She stood regardless and followed Deidara and Sasori out of my room.

Hidan yawned and stretched. "I'm fucking beat. I'm going to bed. Good night Alice, Uchiha, Fish-stick."

"Good night Hidan." I called as Itachi and Kisame just stared at him. "Good night Kakuzu." I said in a calmer tone as Kakuzu made to follow his partner from the room.

"Night." He grunted, glancing at me over his tan shoulder.

"Yes! Now I get to cuddle." I whispered to myself, loud enough so they could hear me. Itachi and Kisame both chuckled before Itachi turned out the light and made his way to his side of the bed. Kisame climbed in beside me as I snuggled into the Uchiha.

Unfortunately because of my ribs, lying on my side was a bit out of my reach. I was limited to lying on my back, which to me is very uncomfortable because of my arthritis. Alas, it gave me the opportunity to share my love with both Itachi and Kisame.

I had my head resting on Kisame's arm which was beneath my pillow. He pressed his forehead against the side of my head. My good hand was entwined with Itachi's. He had one of his arms wrapped around my waist as well. Content with this set up, I quickly passed out.

Now, I'm not one for mushy dreams considering I usually have nightmares, but I'm not entirely sure it wasn't a dream. It was either that or I had woken in a sleepy daze to deep voices rumbling quietly on either side of me. My eyes were so heavy that they refused to open, so I was left to assess the situation by sound alone.

"How do you know she doesn't feel the same towards you?" A deep raspy voice whispered on my right. I'll take that as Kisame.

I heard a sigh to my left. "I don't know, Kisame. She's said it before, but usually she says it in a joking way." A voice not as deep but even more sexy said. Itachi sounded so sad.

_Why is my heart clenching so painfully?_

"So tell her." Kisame stated. "You'll never know that she's serious if you don't ask. Itachi, I can see it. She's the sweetest little thing I've ever met. The way she looks at you screams love." I heard Kisame chuckle. "Don't act so sad Itachi, trust me, she does love you."

_Are they talking about me?_

"That's not the reason behind my upset mannerisms, Kisame." Itachi stated. "I just don't like seeing her in pain. I can't believe anyone would want to do this to her."

_I guess so. Who else?_

"I know." Kisame agreed. "I feel the same way. Maybe not as strongly as you, but this kid hit a soft spot for all of us. So did Kathryn." I heard him scoff. "Pein, Kakuzu, and Sasori even care for her. Zetsu looked extremely worried when we brought her back. That's got to count for something. I mean, have you ever seen the others act so at ease and happy before?"

"No." Itachi sighed. "I know you're right, Kisame." I felt something caress my face gently, lovingly. "What's going to happen when we return to our world?" He whispered. "I don't want to be away from her. I can't image living without her. Now that I've found her, I don't want to lose her. I've never had something like this."

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Itachi?" Kisame asked. "The Itachi I knew didn't harbor any emotions." He chuckled. "You're totally in love with her." His voice softened. "We haven't gotten any ideas about how to get home. Maybe it's impossible. Actually, I kind of hope it is. I like it here. For your sake and Alice's I really hope we never go home. I'm glad that you found someone you're happy with Itachi."

"You're being sappy." Itachi stated shortly. "Stop it."

"I like having a happy partner, Itachi." Kisame grumbled. "Instead of moping around and being sad, depressing, and serious all the time, you really should start showing your emotions. I'm thankful someone broke through your shell. I haven't been able to do it after all these years."

"That's because you're an idiot." Itachi said with a hint of amusement in his voice.

Kisame chuckled. "Whatever Mr. Grumpy, go to sleep."

It was Itachi's turn to chuckle. I felt his arm tighten around my waist before a gentle kiss ghosted over my lips. I smiled ever so slightly in my sleepy tiredness.

"Good night, Kisame." Itachi stated. "And thank you."

"Don't mention it." Kisame yawned, snuggling his face against my head. "Night."

I took this as my cue to go to sleep again or change my dream. If it really was a dream, Jashin it was the best one I've ever had. If it wasn't, then fucking yippy!

I opened my eyes slowly to see I was alone. I frowned. Well that was strange, that hasn't happened since before the Akatsuki came. I sat up in my bed, feeling a hell of a lot better than I was. I glanced at the clock to see it read noon.

And we fucking had school today.

"Shit!" I swore, making to get out of bed. It was at that moment I noticed my bathroom door was closed. I frowned, wondering who was in there. I got up, thanking Jashin I didn't feel lightheaded or anything. I tiptoed towards the bathroom when the handle moved.

I froze as the door opened and Itachi walked in from the steamy depths, rumpling his super sexy, awesome hair with a towel. He was dressed only in pants, allowing me to drool at his perfect muscles that were still sprinkled with water droplets from his shower.

Cue creepy, drooling stare complete with perverted fantasies. Damn his sexiness…

He paused when he saw me standing there gawking at him. A smile came onto his face. "Good afternoon, Alice."

I blinked, shaking my head, trying to come back to reality. "Am I dreaming?" I asked unsure. I wiped away the drool that almost spilled.

"No, you're awake." He told me with a smirk.

"Then this is the best morning/afternoon I've ever had." I told him. "How in the world does someone get so fucking sexy?" I looked up into his face. "That's totally unfair."

He chuckled and walked over to me, running the back of his fingers along my jaw. I shivered as he left a trail of warmth where he touched me. "I'm glad you're enjoying your afternoon then."

I laughed. "Ah, I enjoy every second of the day when you're here, Itachi." I told him. "I'd hug you right now, but I'm pretty sure I'd drool all over you. Not to mention, that was a really cheesy line I just used on you. I'm partially ashamed of myself despite how true it was…"

"I don't mind." He said in his extremely sexy voice.

"Well alright then." I smiled. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders gently while I wrapped mine around his waist. I breathed in his scent which was amazing. "This is the best place in the world."

"Your bedroom?" He asked with uncertainty and amusement in his voice.

"I meant your arms silly." I clarified. He chuckled and rested his chin on the top of my head, tightening his grip slightly.

"I quite like this too." He told me. "I like this very, very much."

"Good because I love you." I told him seriously. "And I mean that with all of my being."

He paused and pulled away from me slightly to look at me. I smiled at him when he looked shocked. The poor guy had no idea what to do. I stifled a giggled and broke the silence.

"What? Are you confused because I'm being serious or something?" I wondered.

He shook his head and kissed me.

Now Itachi and I have kissed before, but this kiss was different. I could feel all of his emotions with the simple little gesture. It was full of happiness and relief. I smiled into the kiss and returned it with the very same emotions.

He pulled away after a moment and gazed into my different colored eyes with his beautiful onyx orbs. "I love you too, Alice."

"It's about time you told me." I smiled. "You know, I was being serious every time I told you I loved you before." He smiled and rolled his eyes.

"I've been feeling this way for a while now, but I wasn't sure how to convey my feelings. I was confused at first." He admitted. "I didn't know what to do."

"Yeah, well you did just fine by my standards." I laughed. "Don't be so mushy. Believe me, I think it's adorable when you're doing it, but you don't have to explain yourself to me if it's hard for you. If you want to, go right ahead, if not, then I'll take your word for it. Besides, I'm not good with mushy confessions either."

He chuckled and kissed me again. "I love you."

"I know." I told him. "And I love you." I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Now, please put a shirt on so I don't have to avert my eyes from the rest of your body because I'll start drooling again. As much as I love ogling at your hotness, I have to go do my morning routine."

He smiled. "You have a snow day by the way. Kathryn ran around the house screaming about it. She's in quarantine by Sasori because she ran outside and hit him in the face with snowball." He chuckled as I smacked my forehead.

"So where are the others?" I asked as I went towards the bathroom.

"They're all downstairs, watching TV." He informed me.

I hurried through my morning routine and emerged from the bathroom to see Itachi sitting on my bed waiting for me, now fully clothed. I smiled at him and grabbed his hand before pulling him out of the room and downstairs with me.

"Look who's finally fucking awake." Hidan stated, seeing us walk down the stairs.

"How you slept through Kathryn's screaming I'm not sure." Kakuzu droned.

I shrugged. "I was totally out on those pain killers. I'm pretty sure I took more than I should have." I took a seat between Kisame and Itachi. Kisame kissed the top of my head when I sat beside him. I smiled at him cheerfully.

I looked around and saw Sasori sitting in front of the closet. "So where is Kathryn?"

"I put her in the closet." He told me, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. "She turned me into a cat earlier. She's undergoing punishment."

"It was hilarious, un." Deidara laughed from his spot on the beanbag beside Sasori's computer chair.

I heard pounding. "_LET ME OUT DANNA! PLEASE! ALICE, HELP ME!_" I heard Kathryn's muffled voice from the closet. Sasori frowned and pounded back.

"Shut up, Brat. You get no help!" He commanded.

"_YOU'RE SO MEAN SASORI YOU WANNABE PUPPET!_" Kathryn shouted back.

"Your insults mean nothing." Sasori growled.

I looked around the room. "How long has this been going on?"

"For about three hours." Pein sighed. The others looked unbothered by the show.

"**I already offered to eat her.**" Zetsu told me. "But she threw a fit."

I laughed and Kathryn pounded even harder.

"_AT LEAST TURN ON THE LIGHT! I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK!_" Kathryn screamed.

"No, this is your punishment. Be silent." Sasori snapped back. "You're being a child."

"_YEAH, WELL YOUR ART _**SUCKS!**" She shouted.

Deidara burst into laughter, falling off his beanbag. I snorted, trying to hide my amusement at Kathryn's outburst. Sasori's eye twitched and he stood, moving the chair out from in front of the door.

He wrenched it open and grabbed Kathryn by her shirt, dragging her out of the closet. Kathryn was struggling, trying to get away but Sasori was much too strong.

"Oh so now he opens the door." Kathryn growled. "It looks like I touched a nerve!" She started kicking him. "It's not my fault you like to play with dolls!"

"Kathryn, I think you should calm down." Konan said, trying to hide her laughter.

"He's just getting pissy because I told him his puppets are lame." Kathryn scoffed. Sasori picked her up and threw her over his shoulder.

"I'm drowning her in the sink." He announced, kicking Deidara who was rolling on the ground, laughing his ass off.

Deidara stopped his laughter and jumped to his feet, blocking Sasori's path. "Put her down Danna, un. You can't kill her, hmm."

Sasori raised his eyebrow challengingly. "And what are you going to do about it?"

"I'll stop you, yeah." Deidara growled, falling into a stance.

I looked at Kisame, Kakuzu, and Hidan. "Stop them please; I don't need a hole in my house." Kisame chuckled and got to his feet as Kakuzu and Hidan sighed before complying.

Kakuzu grabbed Sasori and held him still as Hidan extracted Kathryn from his grip. Kathryn latched onto the zealot, sticking her tongue out at Sasori. Kisame had Deidara in a headlock because he had made to lunge at the puppet master when he was focused on Kakuzu.

Hidan put Kathryn down beside me. She kissed his cheek in thanks. "Thank you very much Hidan." He just rolled his eyes at her before returning to his spot on the couch beside Konan.

Kathryn sang her thanks to Kakuzu and Kisame as well when they released the fighting artists. She glomped Deidara and kissed his cheek, thanking him very thoroughly for attempting to fight for her life.

I laughed and looked away from the blonds to see Tobi was playing on Microsoft Paint on the computer. He was making a big smiling face. Kakuzu returned to his spot on the recliner as Sasori took his chair once again.

"Shit, my Hummer is still at the school." I sighed as it came to mind.

Kathryn shrugged. "It wouldn't make a difference anyways. They shut the roads down. It's really bad out there. The snow was up the like the middle of my shin."

"I fucking hate snow now." Hidan grumbled.

"I bet Sasori hates it more." I told him.

Sasori glared. "You're hilarious."

I shrug. "I try."

"You fail." He growled.

"Not as much as you do." I stated.

"Obviously you fail much more considering that comeback was pathetic." He retorted.

"Well, it's one step above you." I said.

Sasori opened his mouth to retort but was cut off.

"Both of you two shut the hell up." Kakuzu barked. He sighed and shook his head. "Honestly Sasori, you'd think you were a teenager because of your eagerness to argue with everyone." Sasori glared. "Act your age."

"We were only playing around, Kakuzu." I laughed. "Sasori and I didn't mean anything by it. If I really meant to fight with him, he would be crying."

"I'd love to see you accomplish that." Sasori challenged.

"Keep talking and you will." I threatened.

"Enough." Pein barked. "You can take your bickering elsewhere Sasori."

I looked at Sasori with an amused smile. "We'll continue this later."

"I look forward to it." He said with a smirk.

Kathryn giggled from her spot next to the computer with Tobi. They were searching the internet together now that Tobi was done drawing. "You two are so alike."

"Shut up Kathryn." Sasori and I said in unison. She pouted at our collaborated order.

I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "So, what are we going to do? We can't go anywhere, we're snowed in."

"We can watch movies." Kisame suggested.

Kathryn grinned. "Alice, I just took the Seme/Uke quiz."

"What did you get?" I asked.

"I got the badass Uke." She told me. "Have you ever taken it before?"

I nodded. "I got 'Don't fuck with me Seme'."

She laughed, pointing at the screen. "We're perfect together."

"What the hell are you two talking about, un?" Deidara questioned.

"Tobi took the quiz and Tobi got…" Tobi began.

Kathryn burst into giggles. "He got the clueless uke."

"I wonder what the others would get…" I wondered. Kathryn just laughed.

"I'm not taking some ridiculous quiz like that." Kakuzu stated seriously.

"Agreed." The others stated with the exception of Konan, Deidara, and Itachi. I pouted at Kakuzu before shrugging it off and looking around the room.

"Back to the issue at hand, what are we going to do? Kisame suggested movies." I announced. "I'd say Apples to Apples but it'd be kind of hard considering you guys don't know much about our world."

"If we watch movies, we need to watch Mean Girls." Kathryn declared. "I've been wanting to watch that forever. I know Brett got it so you can't say you don't have it."

I sighed. "Very well, we can watch Mean Girls." I waved my good hand. "Put it in, unless Pein and Konan are watching something already.

Pein shook his head. "There's nothing interesting on." Konan voiced her agreement.

I nodded. "Go ahead then."

"Yippy!" Kathryn said happily as she hopped away from the computer to the movie rack. She paused instantly when the house phone rang. "Who is that?"

"I don't know genius, go and answer it." I sighed. She skipped over to the phone.

"It's my mom." Kathryn said with confusion. She shrugged, shushing everyone before answering it. "Hi mommy!" She had her mother voice on, the others exchanged confused looks.

"_Hi Kathryn, are you and Alice doing alright?_" Her mother's voice came from the speaker phone.

"Yes we are." Kathryn told her. "How are you?"

"_I'm fine, I was just concerned about the two of you being over there all by yourselves for so long._" Her mom said.

"Hello mom." I said loud enough for her to hear me. "Kathryn has you on speaker."

"_Hi kid._" Her mom said sweetly. "_I miss you both. I wish you would come over here to stay for a weekend while Brett and Louis are gone._"

"We would but I have to take care of my cats." I told her, suddenly nervous.

She scoffed. "_Like that would have stopped you before. But since Brett and Lu aren't there I understand. When they get back you're both coming over._"

"That sounds good." Kathryn laughed.

"_You know… You could just bring them over with you…_" She mused.

"That would not be a good idea." I told her. She sighed and told me I was right.

"Alright then mom, we've got to go, Alice's got lunch in the oven." Kathryn lied. "We'll see you when we see you." We said our goodbye and Kathryn ended the call, looking scared.

"What the fuck?" I asked, looking at her. "I know where you get it from now."

She smiled. "At least I haven't taken after Eric."

"Oh yes because at your age, you're impressionable by someone like him." I frowned.

"Eric is totally the bitch in that relationship. My mom owns his ass." Kathryn laughed. She was right, Eric was a complete pushover.

"The good thing is, my mom is rational. I'm just glad she didn't insist on us going over there with the guys." Kathryn said. "Sasori would have had to go because he's a jerk."

"I'll lock you in the fucking closet again." Sasori growled.

"Stop it." I snapped. "Kathryn, leave him alone. Sasori, be nice for a little bit please." I shook my head when they both grumbled. "Besides, death threats are limited to me and Hidan."

"Fuck you!" Hidan snapped, pointing at me.

"That's Itachi's job." Kathryn chirped. Hidan burst into laughter with Kisame and Deidara at her words. Itachi just closed his eyes with a sigh and shook his head. I did the same.

Kathryn noticed my irritated expression. "I'll be good now…"

"I hope so." I muttered as Kathryn started the movie, her attention span proving how short it actually was.

While watching the movie, it was plagued with critiques, questions, jokes, and other comments. Konan was shocked that anyone would ever act that way and she watched it with as much interest as me and Kathryn. To be honest, it's a pretty good movie.

Kakuzu announced that if he had a child that ever acted like one of those girls, he would kill her within seconds. Hidan, Sasori, and Zetsu agreed with him. Pein said on more than one occasion that the people in the movie needed to be taught a lesson. I couldn't disagree with him.

Kisame and Deidara both were cracking up laughing about the gym teacher. Hidan thought it was slightly disturbing but was amused nonetheless. Tobi commented a few times that I was like the one gothic chick who hung out with the gay guy. Sasori enjoyed that very much and refused to stop teasing me until I whined to Pein.

Itachi remained relatively silent throughout the movie, commenting on how unrealistic and pointless the movie was at some points. He spent the majority of the time playing with my hair, only slightly paying attention to the film.

When it was finished, a few of the more "manly" guys sighed with relief. However, they soon were sighing with boredom when we sat around for a bit with nothing to do.

Sometimes snow days could be so boring.

* * *

_I love snowdays. Except for when I have to shovel the snow. Then it sucks._

_Oh and before anyone kills me, I really do appreciate Sasori's art. But I thought it would be funny for Kathryn to say that._

_I also love the Seme/Uke quiz. I got "don't fuck with me Seme" lol_

_And once again, thank you guys for all the reviews so far._

_I honestly expected to get MAYBE ten. Never 100+._

_So thank you. It makes me happy.  
_


	23. Chapter 23

_Ah Ohio weather, you make me happy._

_Enjoy dearies because I have to skadoodle. SethyPoo, Marcus and I have BPA stuff today._

_That's why there might be typos and what not._

_I don't own Naruto~~  
_

* * *

As it turns out, Kathryn and I didn't have school at all that week. The snow was always bad enough to where our superintendent always had to cancel it. This is why I love Ohio weather despite how bipolar it is.

The roads had been cleared as safe enough to drive on so at the first opportunity, I had the guys take me to get my Hummer. Once that was back at home, I felt so much better and I could finally relax.

Thanks to Konan's medical jutsu, I was on my way to healing in half the time it would normally take me. That was something I was thankful for because Itachi was always so worried about me and I felt bad for it.

The bad thing about all of this was the fact that we couldn't really go outside unless we wanted to cart around a bunch of kittens. And since none of them were okay with that, we were stuck inside the entire time.

Today was Friday, and I woke up this morning early with the strange desire to cook. That had never happened before because usually I hate cooking. However, with my urge driving me, I snuck out of bed, careful not to wake Kisame and Itachi, and hurried to my bathroom to wake up.

Once that was over, I crept out of my room and down to the kitchen. As I entered the little room, I whipped out all of my cooking expertise and began working on a big breakfast for all of my guests.

I made eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes, French toast, biscuits, veggie breakfast food for Kathryn, and other various breakfast foods. I was quite proud of myself since I hadn't done all of this in at least six months. And it was all done with a broken limb! Victory is mine.

During my task, Sasori had come into the kitchen to keep me company, hearing my cooking. I'm honestly just surprised I didn't wake up Zetsu and Tobi who were sleeping in the living room.

I finished setting the table around the time Zetsu had finally woken up. He came into the kitchen looking curious. A pleased smirk made its way onto his face as he took in the situation.

"I see you **decided to make breakfast.** Thank you." Zetsu(s) told me.

I smile up at him. "You're very welcome Zetsu." I looked at Sasori. "Do you want to help me wake everyone up?" He shrugged and stood.

"Pein-sama and Konan are already awake." Zetsu informed me. "**I can feel their chakra; it's no longer in the dormant state of sleep.**" Zetsu added when I looked confused about how he knew that. I just shrugged and took his word for it.

"I'll go wake up Kathryn and the brat." Sasori stated, walking out of the

I sighed and cleaned my hands off. "Zetsu, wait for everyone else before you eat. I'm going to get Itachi and Kisame."

"**Whatever.**" He complied with a shrug.

I exited the kitchen to see Tobi struggling with the blankets on his bed that had managed to tangle themselves around him. I laughed and hurried over to help him since I was sure he was going to start making a fuss soon.

"Here Tobi, stop struggling and I'll help you." I laughed, holding my hands out towards him to get him to relax. His head popped up, still covered with the blanket as his struggling ceased. Reaching towards the man, I freed his head before I untangled his arms and then his legs.

"Thank you Alice-chan." He said sweetly. "The blankets attacked Tobi."

I smiled at him and patted his head. "You're welcome. There's breakfast in the kitchen Tobi, but don't start eating until the others come down."

"Okay!" He chirped, leaping off the bed and scampering to the kitchen. I smiled after him before turning to the stairs to see Pein and Konan making their way down them.

"Good morning." I smiled at them. "I decided to make everyone breakfast today so it's all in the kitchen."

Pein dipped his head. "We heard you talking to Tobi." He gave his thanks before heading to the kitchen.

"Good morning Alice, and thank you." Konan said kindly. I just smiled in response before going up the stairs to get my Uchiha and my shark.

I smiled as I walked by the guest bedroom when I heard Sasori, Deidara, and Kathryn arguing about something. I continued to my bedroom to see Kisame and Itachi still sleeping. I smirked at their laziness before going to Itachi's side.

He was lying on his side, facing me. I melted at his adorableness before I leaned in close to his face and kissed him gently. I nuzzled him after that.

"Wake up my dear." I whispered to him.

Itachi's eyes opened slowly and a tender smile crept onto his face when he saw me standing there. I returned his smile and kissed him again.

"Good morning sunshine." I told him.

"Good morning." He said back.

I pet his silky black hair for a moment. "There's breakfast downstairs in the kitchen. I woke up with the urge to cook this morning so it's a feast."

"I look forward to it." He smirked. I moved out of his way so he could get up. Once he was in a sitting position he pulled me into a hug before I could get too far. I returned it as best as I could from our position. He kissed my head before letting me go, heading to the bathroom.

I took that as my cue to get Kisame up. I went around to the other side of the bed and climbed on top of my shark who was lying on his stomach. He jerked slightly as I added my weight to his sleeping form.

"What the…?" He asked in a shocked tone before I kissed his cheek. A grin broke out on his handsome blue face and he began chuckling.

"Good morning Kisame." I sang. "I made breakfast for you guys, so you should hurry so you can eat." He started getting up with me still on top of him. I squeaked in shock and held onto him as he straightened up.

He pulled me off of his back and into a proper hug before letting me go, thanking me with a kiss to my head, and heading downstairs to go eat. I smiled after him until I heard Itachi come out of the bathroom.

He grabbed my good hand and pulled me to the hallway so we could go and eat. I followed after him, seeing Kakuzu come out of the room with Hidan trailing behind him. Kathryn was over Hidan's shoulder, laughing about something.

I looked to Kakuzu for an explanation but he just sighed and shook his head at me. I shrugged at this and allowed him to go down the stairs before me. I pushed Hidan after him so I could talk to Kathryn.

"What did you do?" I asked as we descended the stairs.

Kathryn laughed. "I woke Hidan and Kakuzu up by snuggling with them. Kakuzu threw me on top of Hidan when he woke up and saw me. Naturally it pissed Hidan off."

I smiled at this. "Well Hidan always gets a very exuberant wakeup call."

"It's fucking unfair too." He snapped at me from over his free shoulder. He deposited Kathryn on the bed once we reached the first floor and went into the kitchen to get a seat. Kathryn rolled backwards off the bed before hurrying after him.

"Can we eat yet, un?" Deidara questioned as I walked into the room.

"Yes, you can eat." I sighed. "It wasn't that long." I hoisted myself up onto the counter using my good arm and watched everyone attack the table. "Zetsu, just be careful you don't eat any of the vegetarian food. There's not that much of it because Kathryn's the only one who's going to eat it."

"Thanks for the warning." Zetsu stated, giving me a glance.

Light conversation flowed and breakfast went by without any troubles. Everyone enjoyed the feast and I was given a few praises from the more polite members. Sasori insulted my cooking when he decided to try and be funny. He's lucky I love him so much.

Once breakfast was finished, Kisame and Itachi helped me with the dishes. I had to kick Kisame out of the kitchen when he was about to use his jutsu to wash the dishes faster though. I had to remind him that we had a dish washer; I just needed to load it.

Today was the day where I would get everything done that needed to be done. I taught Pein and Konan how to use the kitchen appliances when I found time which actually turned out to be quite easy. Pein and Konan are fast learners. Then we had Mr. Super-Sexy-Uchiha copying me with his Sharingan so he knew how to work them too.

Eventually I made Kathryn come upstairs with me so she could help me with the laundry. She didn't want to come at first since she was cuddling with her Deidara, but after using my death glare on her and with Deidara's encouragement, she obeyed.

She was sitting on my bed watching me separate clothing into baskets according to each member. There was a shitload of clothes for just the week. Damn having 12 people…

"Alice I have something important to tell you!" She whispered excitedly, quickly shutting my door and hurrying over to me. She bounced in her spot as I straightened up to face her.

"What are you so excited at random for?" I asked. "What's up?"

Kathryn came closer to me with a genuinely happy smile. "Deidara told me that he loved me last night!" She squealed quietly. "He was kind of embarrassed to say it at first because I guess he assumed I would make fun of him for being mushy. It was so cute!"

I smiled at her. "That's great Kathryn, I'm happy for you." I returned her hug when she hugged me in her fit of excitement.

"So?" She asked, looking at me expectantly.

I raised my eyebrow. "So what?"

"Has Itachi said anything to you?" She questioned.

"Oh, yeah he told me on Tuesday." I told her. "I guess telling you slipped my mind. It was kind of a spring of the moment thing. I said it to him first and he replied with the same eagerly." She was squealing and jumping up and down.

"Awe, that's so cute! Did you squeal like I did?" She demanded. "When Deidara told me I flipped out and smothered him with hugs and kisses."

"I didn't squeal." I sighed. "I'm not as into the gooey as you are. It was adorable yes, but we just kissed. Nothing too extreme." She pouted but didn't comment.

"So, did you see it coming?" She wondered. "I totally could. When you were out Deidara, me, Kisame, and Hidan, went downstairs to give Konan some room so she could work on you. We all decided that Itachi was totally in love with you."

I laughed. "It seems his love for me was the topic of discussion for that day." She looked at me with confusion. "When I turned Kisame, Itachi, and Tobi back to humans, I had basically passed out. I was awake, but I was too tired to do anything, even open my eyes or talk."

"Does this go anywhere?" She asked. I told her yes so she nodded for me to move on.

"Well, Tobi noticed I had a fever and Itachi sent Kisame downstairs for water and towels. Madara came out and started commenting about Itachi's feelings for me before he concluded that Itachi loved me." Her jaw dropped.

"_Madara_ even saw it?" She questioned. I nodded. "Damn."

I dipped my head. "He can be a jerk sometimes, but I actually quite like Madara."

Kathryn agreed with me and we just started chatting as I finished the clothes from one of the baskets. We made our way through the rest of the clothes, making sure to do the routine separation with the colors and the whites and all that.

It went relatively quickly until Kathryn started to get annoying.

There are few things I hate more than people, and one is acts of blatant stupidity.

And Kathryn was pestering me, trying to get me to do one. Whether she was joking or not, I was getting very, annoyed with her. And I was getting annoyed _very _quickly.

"So, maybe you should give Itachi a nude of you if they ever go back to their world." Kathryn teased, standing by the bed while I sat in my bean chair with a pile of Hidan and Kakuzu's clothes at my feet.

My eyebrow twitched in instant annoyance. Giving or receiving nude pictures was unacceptable in my opinion and everyone who partakes in the act instantly is on my shit list even if it's only for a little bit.

Now I understand what people do is their own business and I completely and utterly respect that. But if you include me in it, I'll kill you. I don't want any part of it. I don't want to hear about it or see it.

Kathryn was aware of this, and she like to tease me about it.

"Keep talking and I'll kill you." I threatened. "I'm warning you Kathryn, I'll fight you right here and now if you don't shut your mouth."

Kathryn smirked. "What if he asked you for one?" Her eyes widened. "Oh my Jashin, what if he gave you one?"

I clicked my tongue in irritation and stood. "I'd castrate him. Now be quiet. You're really starting to irritate me."

"I'm going to tell him to give you one." Kathryn told me.

It was at that moment that I tackled Kathryn, wrestling with her on the bed, trying to get her to shut her mouth. It was also at that moment that the guys decided they wanted to find out what we were doing.

"What the fuck…?" Hidan stopped in the doorway with his mouth agape, watching Kathryn and I wrestle. I heard his startled questioned and stopped fighting Kathryn with my hand around her neck.

"You're interrupting my attempt at murder." I snapped.

"Alice, why are you trying to kill Kathryn, un?" Deidara questioned. My eyebrow twitched as Kathryn's words regained my attention.

I shot him a look. "She's annoying me."

"Alice has a very short temper." Kathryn gasped. "Help me!"

I grabbed a pillow and pressed it over her face, suffocating her. "She deserves to die."

"Alice, what did she do?" Itachi asked calmly, slipping around Hidan and into the room. Kisame and Sasori followed him. Deidara just stayed beside Hidan while Kakuzu towered over them, staying put because of his ability to see over their heads.

"She's annoying me." I told him. "She's talking about one of my pet-peeves."

Kathryn started thrashing when I pressed harder on the pillow. She managed to get away from me when she made me jostle my ribs. I hissed slightly in pain and released her. She scampered away from me and to Deidara, looking scared.

"Are you alright?" Itachi asked me, instantly beside me looking concerned.

I nodded. "Yeah, I just moved to fast." I looked at Kathryn. "Unless you want to die in your sleep, you won't talk about that anymore."

"Yes ma'am." She whispered. "I'm sorry."

"You'd better be." I growled.

Itachi helped me off the bed because he's a gentleman. "What is your pet-peeve?"

"Don't ask her." Kathryn warned him. "She'll get really mad and go off on a rant." She gestured at Hidan. "It's more heated than one of his Jashin rants."

"She must be quite passionate." Sasori commented with a smirk.

I glanced at him. "You have no idea. Normally I'm a very calm, indifferent person, but I _hate _some things a lot more than others. This just happens to be one of them."

Itachi chuckled and kissed the top of my head. "We'll take your word for it then." I nodded, calming down. I watched Kathryn take her phone out of her pocket and start texting.

I looked to Hidan who was looking between me and Kathryn. "Hidan, what are you staring at?"

"Why did you fucking stop wrestling?" He questioned.

I sighed. "We stopped because we didn't want to give you a nose bleed you dirty little pervert." Deidara and Kisame snickered.

* * *

_I started a new FF yesterday._

_It might be up later tonight._

_So be prepared._

_My dog likes to play in the snow btw_

_She's soaking my carpet with her dripping fur._

_Silly thing._

_Bye loves.  
_


	24. Chapter 24

_Here's the next chapter._

_BPA stuff is done with for a while,_

_so I have time again._

_I don't own Naruto, but I do have a cell phone that won't stop freaking beeping!  
_

* * *

Pein and I have a bit of a partnership now. We have this little system where we communicate with just nods of our heads, little twitches, and small facial expressions. We have a code and everything. It's undecided, but it works.

Currently he and I were in the living room communicating. I twitched my fingers towards the kitchen and his nostrils flared. I dipped my head at Pein who then tilted his in return. I went into the kitchen and returned with a bottle of water which he accepted with a bob of his head.

Kathryn, who sat on the couch beside Konan, snickered at us. Konan was smiling.

"What are you laughing about?" I questioned.

"You and Pein." She giggled. "The head nods were entirely too serious for something like this. You both are dorks."

"Hey, don't make fun of me and Pein. You're just mad because we're cooler than you." I stated. "You're not smart enough to be able to understand our code."

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "You're just nodding at each other!"

"You wouldn't understand." Pein commented.

Kathryn gawked at him for a moment. "Well okay then." I laughed.

"I wonder what's going to happen to our code if someone figures out about it…" I mused. Pein chuckled.

"You don't have to worry, Alice." He soothed with a small smile.

I sighed. "I know we're smarter than anyone else here, but I still worry. Hell, I worry about Kathryn when she's in the shower." He chuckled at that.

"Very well, we'll switch it up every now and then." He told me.

"Good." I smirked, and blinked my good eye. He dipped his head at me and I laughed.

Itachi, Zetsu, and Kakuzu watched me as I goofed around with Pein. The others were currently trying to find something to do in the laundry room where we kept our board games and stuff. However, they all came into the room, snorting with laughter.

I raised one eyebrow, questioning what was wrong with them until I saw Sasori and Hidan were kittens. I giggled seeing how pissed off they looked.

"Kitties!" Kathryn sang, picking up a cat toy she had found. She ran over to Sasori, who was in Deidara's hands, and started wagging it in his face, trying to get him to play.

"He's going to hurt you if you don't get that thing out of his face." Kisame chuckled. Sasori growled as Kathryn wiggled it in front of him.

I noticed. "He's a very temperamental mean kitty, he'll hurt you if you don't leave him alone." I smiled at Sasori when he looked me. I knew he would be frustrated since he couldn't retaliate. Oh the advantages of being a human!

"How come you kittens aren't fun?" Kathryn asked. "Kittens are supposed to be hyper and cuddly. All of you are boring like my cat Angel."

"I personally like them like this." I admitted. "But that's just because if Loofa wasn't boring, he would be too mean." I snickered at Sasori's eye roll.

Kathryn moved the toy to Hidan who bit her finger in annoyance when she moved too close. She pouted so I stepped in, taking the kitten from Kisame.

"Hidan. Be nice." I scolded. He licked my nose and nuzzled my face so I melted into his kitten behavior. "You're lucky you're a cute kitten, Hidan."

"You are such a softie." Kisame chuckled.

Hidan kitten smirked and made to lay it on thick by purring and rubbing against me.

I started cooing over Hidan's kitten methods of admission of guilt, feeling a kind of bad.

"Hidan, stop it. You're going to make her think she hurt your feelings." Itachi scolded. Hidan kitten growled at Itachi making me come back to reality.

After handing Kakuzu his partner I sighed and began rubbing my bad shoulder with a slight grimace in my expression as I sat beside my weasel. I looked at the Uchiha next to me when Itachi watched me with concern. A smile found its way onto my face.

"Is your shoulder bothering you?" Itachi asked, looking at me. "You've been doing that all day."

"I'm fine. It just locked up for a minute." I smiled, getting up.

I had the two cats follow me to the bathroom on the first floor. They both got in the bathtub at my request and waited patiently to be turned back into humans. I had their clothing already waiting for them since they'd be naked.

With a loud pop and a puff of smoke the two kittens became two humans. I averted my eyes with said humans got out of the tub to dress. I sighed in relief at seeing them in their clothed glory. I really did prefer them as humans. It kind of relaxed me.

Well… kinda…

Sasori was glaring at me. I already knew why.

"Sasori, is there something wrong?" I asked with a pleasant smile.

"I'm a boring, temperamental mean kitty?" He repeated, crossing his arms.

I laughed and walked out of the room, not even bothering to comment. The two criminals followed after me as I led them back into the living room. Sasori and Hidan took their seats as I took my own between Kisame and Itachi.

"Oh hey guys, my sister started watching Naruto." Kathryn announced. "Her favorite Akatsuki member is Hidan. She likes Konan and Tobi too."

"The child is obviously mentally deficient." Kakuzu pointed out.

"She's in seventh grade Kakuzu." I sighed. "Cut her a little slack. She likes Hidan because he acts immature. It's something she can relate to."

"That makes her how old?" Itachi wondered.

"Twelve." I stated. His eyebrow rose.

Hidan frowned, hearing what I said. "Hey you bitch, I'm fucking mature!"

I rolled my eyes. "By arguing with my statement you just proved my point."

He glared so I smiled at him.

"Hidan, you can be mature, I'm merely saying that sometimes, you aren't." I informed him. "You're a hell of a lot better than Sasori." I fought the smile threatening to break my serious demeanor.

"I'll kill you." Sasori threatened.

"Bring it." I smirked, turning my attention to him.

I'm not exactly sure how long we bantered, but I'm guessing it was a while. When Sasori and I finally finished our little battle of sarcasm, everyone else had tuned us out and were having their own conversations and playing their own little games.

I looked to Sasori. "I think we just went off to a deserted island together."

He nodded. "It seems as if we were forgotten."

"Well anyone could forget _you_ Sasori." I jabbed.

"Obviously you're on the same boat as me, kid." Sasori retorted.

"Ah, touché." I said, raising one finger in the air. "I know how to get attention again."

He looked at me curiously. "And how do you intend on doing that?"

"Easy." I smirked. I turned in my seat to the weasel beside me, grabbed his chin and pulled him into a very passionate kiss. Sasori chuckled from his seat when everyone paused in their conversations, taken aback by my actions.

I released my captive, turning back with a smirk at the others. Once I saw they were focused on me once more I grinned. "Mission accomplished." I looked to the puppet. "Told you." Everyone else just gawked.

He rolled his eyes and held is hands up in mock defeat. "You sure showed me."

"May I ask what that was about?" Kakuzu wondered.

"Yeah I'd like to know too." Kathryn added. "You two were off in your own little sarcastic world, then you burst back out into the open and almost rape Itachi."

"He liked it." I waved my hand at her.

"I did, but that doesn't satisfy my curiosity as to why you did it." Itachi commented. "I too would like to know what brought that on."

I smiled. "You guys forgot Sasori and I on the island of sarcasm and I wanted to get your attention so I used my favorite method." I winked at the Uchiha. "We can practice it later."

"… Eating his face?" Tobi asked.

My eyebrow twitched visibly. "Yes Tobi. I was trying to eat Itachi's face because I reverted to cannibalism while Sasori and I were stranded on Sarcasm Island. Looks like me and Zetsu get to start a club together."

"You might want to reconsider." Konan giggled.

"**Don't lump me together with you.**" Zetsu frowned. "That's not how you eat someone anyways." I smacked my forehead. "**She was being sarcastic you moron.** Oh."

I smiled. "That was a bit of an inappropriate method of getting everyone's attention. I apologize for that." I smirked. "But that's what you get for tuning Sasori and I out."

"To be honest, I regret going on that island with you." Sasori stated staring at me.

"Did I hurt your feelings by making you look like an idiot?" I questioned. "It's not that hard to do by the way."

Sasori frowned. "No, but you did lower my IQ by just opening your mouth."

"I learned from the best." I sang, smirking at him.

"Kathryn?" He questioned innocently.

I laughed. "Good point. You win this round."

"I win every round." Sasori nodded.

"That's a lie because you're a loser who fails at life." I challenged.

Kathryn looked at the others. "Are they really doing this again?"

"It looks like it." Kakuzu sighed.

"Hey! Do not talk about us!" I barked, pointing at the miser and my female blond idiot.

"So they were listening." Konan smiled.

"Of course we were. I don't ever give Sasori my full attention because he's not worth it." I informed her.

Sasori chuckled. "You keep telling yourself that."

"Oh I will." I smiled.

"Good." He stated.

"**Here we go again.**" Zetsu sighed.

I smiled at him. "We're actually done now."

"I can only take so much of her talking before I'm ready to kill myself." Sasori told Zetsu. Kisame put his hand over my mouth as I made to retort.

"That's enough from the two of you." Kisame said seriously.

"Yes Mr. Shark." I said beneath his hand. His hand muffled my words so he had to remove it from my mouth in order for me to repeat what I said.

Deidara smiled and rested his chin on the top of Kathryn's head. "Well now that Danna and Alice are done, we need to decide what we're going to do, un."

"Good point." I nodded.

Our day went by very slowly. It was a Saturday and we were all bored out of our minds. Eventually we watched some Bleach. Kenpachi and Nnoitra are my two favorite characters in that show and to be honest, until Itachi became real, Kenpachi was always my ultimate favorite character in general.

I just love their craziness. It makes me happy. Their personalities and their passion for what they love are exciting. They're such nicely formed characters. That and I dig hugely tall guys.**(1)** However, Itachi has now taken his place as first on my list.

I really think Kisame was put out by Kenpachi and Nnoitra's sheer size. I mean, he's super tall, but the two Bleach badasses are unnaturally tall.

It started to get annoying though when they started saying how they could beat the bleach characters in a fight with their ninja ways. Now I will admit that most of the Akatsuki could take on a great majority of the characters in the show, but some of them, there was no way.

Soon after their challenges, Kathryn and I decided it would be best to watch something else if anything at all. We did end up playing some Apples to Apples. I had to go through the cards while they ate dinner to make sure that the cards we used, the Akatsuki would at least somewhat understand. It was pretty fun. That game is amazing.

Sunday went along the same lines, except we all went to the store to get food and snacks. The ride home was pretty intense because I saw a SmartCar and was determined to run it off the road. I sped across three lanes of traffic and ran two red lights chasing after the little thing. Needless to say, some of the criminals almost pissed their pants while the rest cheered me on.

I shouldn't be allowed to operate large vehicles. That's something else I was teased for by the guys. I have _extreme_ road rage. I don't go around flipping everyone off, but I do make death threats at anyone within a mile of me. I don't like sharing the road...

By the end of the driving experience, Pein and Itachi decided together that I was grounded from the car except for school until they were sure I wasn't going to kill someone.

Hidan had a blast, as did Deidara and Kisame. Sasori was sarcastically ridiculing my driving from right behind me so I almost killed us a few time yelling at him for being a backseat driver. Kathryn was clutching onto Kakuzu for dear life because Deidara was too busy goofing around with Hidan or yelling at a screaming Tobi to protect her. Konan just sat there calmly, ignoring everyone else. Itachi and Pein were both fighting headaches and the urge to slaughter.

That was the highlight of my weekend. Good times ne?

Wednesday at school started off rather being even more dull than the others. Mr. Nau wasn't there so we were stuck with some idiot sub who spent the entire time doing crosswords in his newspaper, leaving the rest of us to sleep first period away.

Second period consisted of us watching some Intervention; a good show in its own right even though I hated watching TV and mainly just used my computer to keep up with my anime.

Third period was where things started getting strange. Our sub sent us over to the foreign language wing of the school to sit in the Spanish teacher's class while she attended some meeting with the principles or whatever.

The Spanish teacher was this tiny little thing named Ms. Jackson. Literally the woman was like 4'9" and was as skinny as a rail. She was surprisingly Italian even though she was a Spanish teacher. I thought it was weird, but hey, I didn't talk to her anymore except for asking her to make sure I was learning Spanish correctly at home.

Anyways, I sat at the front of the room conversing with the Italian-Spaniard about anything and everything in Spanish. Kathryn, who had taken French, was sitting there like an idiot beside me, trying to understand. Seth sat there with her, looking just as confused though he took Spanish for two years. Our school is cheap and only offers those two languages.

The rest of the class just sat around the room, chatting quietly or doing homework for other classes. It seemed pretty normal, but I couldn't get rid of this strange feeling in my chest that told me something very bad was going to happen.

And happen it did.

* * *

_Dun dun dun~_

_**(1)** That might be why I love the Akatsuki so much too. And I really do adore really tall guys. All of my previous boyfriends have been at least a foot taller than me. I might have a problem._

_lol. I wonder if they'd have an Intervention segment for an Otaku. Because that would be intense._

_Well I'm out._

_Ta ta~  
_


	25. Chapter 25

_I wasn't gonna post this today, but I'mma be busy tomorrow so I decided you guys deserved some love._

_Anywho, I've been getting a lot of ideas recently, so I may or may not have more than just the two FF I have now._

_Oh well, I'll tell you about it below. For now, enjoy my plot and character._

_ As well as the characters who belong to the respectable owner of the Akatsuki/Naruto who is unfortunately not me._

_...Yet...  
_

* * *

Sitting in the Spanish classroom for my literature class was weird in its own right, but that's not what was making me feel strange. My entire body was tense, making my bad shoulder burn because of my ridged posture. I kept searching around me for something, feeling a little off.

Kathryn could totally tell I was on edge. She repeatedly asked me what I was so tense for, but the only thing I could tell her was that I didn't know. It was the truth. I keep having this gut feeling that something bad was on its way.

It arrived with a loud, obnoxious knock to the door.

Frowning, Ms. Jackson asked a kid named Mike to go check it out. Mike sighed as he got up and opened the door. He froze.

From my angle, I couldn't see what was going on out there, but I knew it was bad when Mike paused in greeting the intruders. His eyes grew wide and he timidly asked our guest what they wanted.

"Where the fuck are Alice and Kathryn?" A very familiar voice asked.

My jaw dropped instantly and anger coursed through my body.

"They're right there." Mike stuttered, pointing in our direction.

I heard a new voice that had a raspy tinge to it. "Well are you going to stand there and gawk at us, or are you going to get them?"

_Oh hell fucking no._

"Yeah, move you fucking heathen." The first voice ordered again.

Ms. Jackson's frown deepened. "Mike, tell our guests to come in." She stood up and walked somewhat towards the door from her desk to get in between me and the door.

Mike stepped back to let the intruders in. Six of the guys who were staying at my house, who _should_ have been _home_ at my house, walked right into the room. They all searched the room for Kathryn and I. When they found us, the more emotional ones grinned.

"And who are you?" Ms. Jackson demanded in a totally unintimidating way considering how small she was. The guys obviously took note of this because Hidan smirked at her.

"You're a tiny little fucking thing aren't you?" He snickered.

"Hidan." I snarled, standing up to glare daggers at the Jashinist. "What the _fuck_ are you doing here?" Oh I went straight into super bitch mode.

"We were bored so we decided to pick you up from school, un." Deidara stated from his place between Hidan and Sasori.

My eyebrow twitched. "Go home. Now." I barked, my volume steadily rising. "Before I kill you, get out of this school."

"Why are you getting so fucking pissy?" Hidan demanded.

I grabbed the nearest blunt thing next to me which happened to be a yard stick and wacked Hidan in the head with it. "Leave. Now."

Kakuzu and Kisame chuckled at my actions while Hidan swore loudly and rubbed his head. "That fucking hurt you damn bitch!" My class gasped like children which irritated me further. I really need to work on my anger issues…

"Next time I'll take out your eye." I snapped.

"You don't have good enough aim." Sasori challenged. Normally that would be funny.

I rounded on him. "I am not in the mood puppet boy." He twitched in annoyance at the name. I didn't care, I wanted them out of there.

Ms. Jackson and the rest of the class besides Kathryn and Seth were stunned by my behavior and the six guys facing me. Those two knew how I acted when I was mad.

"Alice, do you know these men?" Ms. Jackson asked in shock.

"Unfortunately." I replied. "Now, all of you go home."

"Fuck that. We came all this way to get you and Kathryn so we aren't going home without you." Hidan barked.

I frowned at him. "Try it. I dare you." I wish he would try. I'd fuck his ass up.

Itachi sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I told you guys this was a bad idea. I knew she'd be angry."

"I'm beyond angry." I snapped. I felt kind of bad for snapping at Itachi, but I wanted them out of the school within the next second.

"Fine, since you're being a bitch…" Hidan began. He looked passed me to Kathryn. "You want to come with us Kathryn?"

Kathryn opened her mouth to tell him yes but stopped at my death glare. I took a deep breath to calm myself down before looking at Ms. Jackson. "Ms. Jackson, do you mind if Kathryn and I escort these hoodlums from the school?"

She looked at me, noticing I asked her in perfect Spanish. "Go ahead." She told me with a nod. I smiled at her before giving my apology. I motioned for Kathryn to come with me before heading straight out of the classroom without telling the guys what I was doing.

"Alice?" Kathryn asked in a concerned whisper as I walked out of the side doors to the outside world. I could hear the guys following behind us, chatting quietly.

"Not now." I barked over my shoulder at her in a quiet tone. She fell silent but continued after me as I went to my Hummer in the student parking lot. The guys and Kathryn watched me in confusion as I went to the trunk rather than the front seat like they expected.

I grabbed my metal bar of wonder and took it out of the vehicle before shutting the trunk and turning on the six idiots who were watching me curiously.

"Uh, you're not going to hit us with that are you, un?" Deidara asked nervously as I stalked towards them, testing my grip on the metal bar.

"No. I'm going to kill you with it." I growled, going towards my first victim with silver hair seeing as he was the closest.

Kakuzu had my arms pinned to my side before I could strike and Sasori had wrestled the metal bar from my iron grip in the same second. Everyone stared at me with shock.

"Now Alice, that's not necessary." Sasori scolded with a victorious smirk at my situation. I was being completely restrained by the stitched miser.

"You're not necessary." I snapped. "Let go of me Kakuzu so I can brutally kill you."

"That's not much incentive for me to let you go now is it?" Kakuzu questioned dully.

I frowned. "I'll make yours quick and painless. Now let go."

"No." He told me simply.

"Now, Kakuzu." I growled.

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes damn it."

"No."

"If you don't love Hidan, you'll let me go."

"No."

"I knew you fucking loved him. Now let me go."

"Nice try, but the answer is still no."

"Fucker, release me.

"Nope."

"Yes before I kill you."

"I don't think so."

"Let go."

"No."

"Yes you crazy stitched bastard."

"Will someone shut them up please?" Kisame sighed, smacking his forehead as me and Kakuzu continued to bicker like children.

"Kakuzu, you have five seconds before I break your balls." I threatened.

"Go ahead and try. I'll just restrain you further." Kakuzu countered.

"Let go!"

"Nope."

"Yes Jashin-damn it!"

Kakuzu and I continued like that until the others got fed up. Itachi sighed irritably as Kakuzu and I insulted each other while still answering either yes or no. He walked over to us, grabbed my chin as I made to insult Kakuzu again and crushed my lips with his.

Confused as to what was happening I sat there for a second in confusion before realizing that Itachi was kissing me. Catching up I responded for a second. Noticing that I was kissing back, Itachi pulled away with a satisfied smirk.

"Hey Kakuzu, can you let me go?" I asked breathlessly, gazing at Itachi.

Well someone was freaking adorable… Damn his distractions!

"That depends, are you still mad at us?" He wondered.

"It'll take about a week before I forgive you." I told him. "But I'm not going to kill you. Besides, Sasori stole my weapon." I threw my head back against his chest so I could look up at him. He gazed down at me with his strange, yet awesome, Christmas colored eyes. "I promise."

Kakuzu believed me and released me with a sigh. I smiled slightly at him before walking back to my Hummer, an even better punishment popping in my head. I unlocked the back door, dug around under the seat for my target and quietly exclaimed victoriously when I found it.

Turning around to face the guys with a smirk, I twisted off the cap to an old water bottle filled with water that was chilled by the outside temperature. I brought the bottle to my lips, acting like I was going to drink it before splashing the contents all over the guys.

I laughed manically when pops and puffs of smoke sounded from the murderers before six adorable kittens stood before me in the parking lot, meowing in piles of clothes.

"Ah, kitties." I giggled. Kathryn started laughing.

I went around the kittens, picking the clothes off the ground before throwing them in the back seat before I turned to Kathryn. "Either you go back to school, or call and ask your mom if you can leave early. Tell her I'm still hurting and you want to help me."

She dipped her head with a giggle, scooped up Deidara and Sasori before skipping to the passenger's seat. She climbed in the car before calling her mom. I set about picking up the other kittens, setting them in her lap and on the middle compartment before climbing in myself and waiting. I turned the car on to get some warmth flowing.

I listened to Kathryn talk to her mom, who was probably the coolest mother in the world, as I pet Itachi who was sitting on my lap.

Kathryn snapped her phone shut and looked at me. "Okay, I can leave. But since I'm leaving early, she wants me to pick up Kristine after school and take her to her friends. Is that okay?" She asked, looking at me.

I nodded. "Yeah. We won't have to worry about her recognizing the guys. They're staying kittens all day as punishment." I acknowledged the infuriated hisses and meows from the kitten surrounding us. "Hey, don't even start. I'm pissed off at all of you. I told you before that you weren't allowed to leave my house without my permission or unless it was an emergency."

I heard a particularly soft, calm meow to see Itachi looking up at me from my lap. He meowed again and gave me questioning apologetic eyes. "No Itachi, you're in trouble too. If you want to become human again, you're gonna have to make it up to me. Or if Pein wants you human again."

I ignored his pouting, pleading eyes to put the car into gear and drive away from the school. If I looked at him too long, I'd give in.

Kathryn turned on the radio and was jamming to some rock music as we left the school campus. Deidara was curled up in her lap, napping as if he didn't mind his situation. Sasori was sitting on the dashboard, looking around at the landscape as I drove.

Kakuzu was lying on the middle compartment, meowing at Hidan who was sitting on Kathryn's armrest, meowing back at him. Kisame and Itachi were both curled up in my lap. I had one hand on the steering wheel while the other alternated petting the two kittens.

Seeing Sasori's vulnerable position, I grinned. I moved Hidan and Kakuzu before speeding up slightly on the empty back road that no one drove on. When I was going a decent speed, I slammed on the breaks, making Sasori slide off the dashboard and into Kathryn's lap.

He was pissed. But it was totally worth it.

When we got back to the condo, we split the kittens up to carry them inside. Once inside I deposited mine on the couch beside Pein. Kathryn set hers down on the floor. After going into the kitchen to get some pain killers for my shoulder I returned to the living room and sat beside Konan crossing my arms, waiting for them to question me.

"May I ask why they are kittens?" Pein asked, looking around Konan at me.

I glanced at him. "They came to my school and disrupted my class to get me and Kathryn." I crossed my arms. "They are being punished."

"I see." Pein nodded. "How long do you intend to punish them?"

I shrugged. "I'll probably turn them back soon. It'll get too boring without them."

Konan smiled at me. "You're too nice for you own good, Alice."

"I can't help it." I sighed. I smiled when Itachi hopped on my lap and curled into a ball. He lifted his head from his spot to stare up at me with his gorgeous red eyes. He was such a cute little kitty. I can't get mad at myself for melting at his face.

My attention snapped to Kathryn when I saw she was arguing with Zetsu.

"It's my own decision to be a veggie Zetsu. I don't want to cause any animals harm so I eat things made from plants." Kathryn stated. "I'm not bad enough to be okay with merciless killing of plants either, but there are a lot more plants in this world than there are animals."

"Plants have feelings too you know. **Your methods of thinking are narrow-minded.**" Zetsu told her. Though she was getting rather into the conversation, Zetsu remain eternally calm.

"Have you seen the way people treat the animals before they make them into food? It's disgusting! They even waste most of the poor animal too." Kathryn barked. "The only thing we do to plants is pluck some tomatoes from their stems and then leave them be."

"**Not everyone tortures the animal before they are consumed. **I do not waste my meal I eat the whole thing. **I do not cause it any unnecessary pain unless it's a human. Then I have my fun.**" Zetsu stated. "People hold no regard for the plants feelings when they take from it."

After a few minutes more of listening to their argument, I turned my attention to Tobi who was messing with a kitten Deidara. Deidara was growling at Tobi and swatting at his hand as the masked man poked him with cat toys.

"Tobi, why are you bothering Deidara?" I asked tiredly while petting my kitten Uchiha.

"Tobi wants to play with Blondie-senpai." Tobi informed me.

"You know Tobi, if you bother him while he's a kitten, he'll be very mad at you when he's human again." I told him calmly.

Tobi faced my direction. "Blondie-senpai won't hurt Tobi because Tobi is a good boy!"

I told him he was before getting up, setting Itachi on the couch beside Kisame when I stood. I walked over to Kathryn and put my hand on her head. "Two things. One: don't be mean to Zetsu. Two: I'm going upstairs so if I fall asleep, make sure you get me if anyone needs anything. And when it's time to go and get Kristine."

"Okay." Kathryn chirped with a smile. I nodded at her, smiled at Zetsu and climbed the stairs, not noticing the black kitten following behind me.

I left my door cracked as I entered my room so I could hear them if they called for me and plopped on my bed. I rolled over until I reach the middle and lay on my side, hugging my pillow. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the silence.

My silence was shattered by a quiet meow.

I opened my eyes and looked towards the source to see a black kitten with red eyes sitting a few feet away from me with a hint of concern on its furry face. I smiled and moved the pillow away before patting the space beside me.

The Itachi-kitten meowed and walked to the spot I indicated before snuggling up against me. I kissed his silky head and hugged him gently, preparing to cuddle with him.

"I love you Itachi." I said in a tired whisper.

He meowed softly back at me and licked my nose.

"Alice…" A distance voice called. "Alice." The voice said again. It took me a moment to realize it wasn't a dream and I had fallen asleep. I opened my eyes and instantly frowned.

I'm not exactly sure when I fell asleep, nor for how long I slept, but I do know that before I fell asleep Itachi was a kitten, he was cute, and we were alone.

We most certainly were not alone now.

And he most certainly was not a kitten.

He was still cute though.

He smiled at me when he saw I was awake. "Alice, it's time to get up." He said in his sexy voice. "You and Kathryn have to go and get her little sister from school."

"Yeah get the fuck up you lazy bitch." Hidan said loudly. He needs to learn what the phrase "inside voice" means. Learning to apply it would be nice too.

I sat up and looked around my room to see all six previously feline Akatsuki members standing around my room. I frowned at this. "Why aren't you kittens?"

Kathryn looked down guiltily. "I got bored."

I rolled my eyes and got up. "You're lucky I don't care." I sighed and started heading for the door. "Let's go get your sister, Kathryn."

"What about us?" Hidan questioned.

"Kathryn's little sister knows who you are now. You can't come unless you want to be a kitten again." I told him seriously. "It's your choice."

"So you're just going to fucking leave us here?" Hidan demanded.

"Do you want to be a kitten? Otherwise you cannot go, Hidan." I stated. "It'll only take about twenty minutes. Calm down and just stay here. We'll be back soon."

It took Kathryn and I less time than I expected to pick up Kristine and take her to her friends. We were back rather quickly so I didn't tolerate Hidan's complaining. Thankfully Kakuzu stepped in and smacked him in the back of his head before I could get too annoyed.

Bless that miser.

* * *

_You guys thought it would be intense didn't you?_

_Well it's not because I got lazy._

_Lol hooray for procrastination/laziness._

_Anywayss... Itachi will always and forever be my most favorite Naruto character, but I've been going through a bit of a Kisame phase._

_Which is slowly morphing into a Madara phase. I don't know about you, but I love that old geezer._

_I also love the hell out of Kakuzu and the rest of the Akatsuki, but that's off topic..._

_Anywho, next update will be Wednesday...ish... yes._

_You might see some new Fanfictions from me other than the one I just started recently. Though yes, that one and this one will STILL be updated on a schedule._

_ I'm not going to abandon any of them. Because I feast off your reviews._

_They give me life._

_Lol... the more I think about that, the creepier it sounds. So I'm gonna stop now._

_Bye sweeties.  
_


	26. Chapter 26

_I don't have any fun facts for you guys today._

_:/_

_So just enjoy._

_I don't own the Akatsuki._

_ As far as you know...  
_

* * *

I woke up early the next day and snuck out of my bed, getting ready for the day quickly before leaving my room. However, once I left my bedroom, something caught my attention.

The door to the room Pein, Konan, Kakuzu, and Hidan slept in was wide open, leaving me the opportunity to see a very… strange situation. My jaw dropped when my eyes landed on the air mattress being shared by Kakuzu and Hidan.

I clamped my hands over my mouth as laughter threatened to break through. Knowing I would fall to the ground soon, I lowered myself to the floor in front of the room, desperately trying to keep my laughter muffled.

On the air mattress, Hidan was _totally_ **spooning** with Kakuzu. There was little to no space between the partners as they cuddled in their sleep. I was fairly certain this was an accident that happened only in sleep, but oh my Jashin was it funny.

I didn't notice the guest room door open, nor did I notice Sasori walk up behind me to see what I was on the floor laughing about. He crouched beside me, gaining my attention and raised his eyebrow in question.

I snorted and pointed towards the sleeping criminals. I saw his jaw drop instantly when his eyes fell on them. Suddenly he was sitting beside me, laughing his ass off rather loudly. That's when I gave up on trying to be quiet and laughed just as loudly with him.

Kathryn, Deidara, Kisame, and Itachi burst from the rooms we both previously occupied to see Sasori and I holding each other, shaking with laughter as we pointed into the room where the source of our amusement was located.

Our loud laughter had woken up Pein and Konan just before it woke the heavier sleepers who just happened to be cuddling together. Konan's eyes had obviously followed my point because she was laughing just as hard as Sasori and I were a second later.

Kakuzu woke with a start, giving Hidan a disgusted look before pushing him away, effectively waking the Jashinist. Hidan grumbled and sat up, glaring around for the loud noises coming from the hallway and the bed.

"What the fuck is so fucking funny?" He demanded, seeing Sasori and I still laughing.

"I knew you two were gay." Kisame chuckled. He had caught their position just seconds before they woke.

Hidan's attention snapped to the swordsman. "What the fuck did you just say you fucking shark? Do you want to fucking die?"

"Awe!" Kathryn giggled. "You guys were cuddling!" Deidara soon joined Sasori and I on the floor, his laughter becoming out of control as well.

"I'm…gonna….die!" I gasped, laughing even harder at Hidan's face which was going red with either embarrassment or anger. Quiet possibly both at this point.

"That's priceless!" Konan laughed, falling back on the bed pointing at the zealot and the miser. Even Pein and Itachi looked thoroughly amused.

"It's not fucking funny!" Hidan snapped at Sasori and I. I think I was laughing at both the cuddling partners and Sasori because he was actually showing a lot of emotion.

"Yes it fucking is!" Sasori snorted.

"**What the hell is going on?** What's with all the laughing?" Zetsu asked as he and Tobi came up the stairs. He saw Sasori and I laughing together. "**Okay, who drugged Sasori?**"

I snorted again and my laughter was renewed. Maybe Sasori and I were drugged, because we were laughing a lot. But then, Konan, and Deidara would have been drugged too.

"Oh you missed it Zetsu!" Konan laughed. Pein smirked at his partner, clearly happy she was enjoying herself. Awe, how sweet of him?

"Kakuzu and Hidan are gay!" Kathryn proclaimed. Zetsu looked shocked and amused all at the same time while Tobi acted like he didn't know what that meant.

Next thing, Kathryn's screaming and Kakuzu's hand detached itself from the miser to fly at her throat. He was not happy with her accusation. Sasori and I were though.

She hid behind Kisame who smirked at Hidan and Kakuzu. Hidan was on his feet searching for the cleaver that Louis had in there. "You two are getting awfully defensive."

"You would get fucking defensive too you damn shark if you were just accused of being with that fucking heathen bastard!" Hidan roared.

Kathryn stuck her head out from behind Kisame. "I do not approve of that pairing."

"Fuck you, you little bitch!" Hidan snapped. She yelped and hid behind Kisame again.

Sasori and I were starting to calm down; our laughter had turned into giggles and chuckles. However, every time we made eye contact, we would burst into snickers again. I'm so glad Sasori had been there to share that extremely entertaining situation and enjoy a nice laugh with me. It gave our constant sarcastic, playful bickering a break.

"Oh quit your bitching." I snickered, getting to my feet. "You guys were only sleeping. It's not like you meant it. Besides, we're only having a laugh."

"I don't see how this is funny." Kakuzu growled.

"Whatever Kakuzu, if it was anyone else you'd be laughing your ass off just like Sasori and I." I rolled my eyes.

Sasori chuckled. "That was probably the funniest thing I've ever seen."

I resisted the urge to respond with a sarcastic comment to the puppet master. It was a lot harder than I expected. I trained myself to be prepared for a sarcastic assault from Sasori at any moment since he arrived. I kept it to myself because I didn't want him to stop being so happy. He was adorable like that. I liked happy Sasori just as much as I did sarcastic Sasori.

"Ah, that was amusing." I smiled.

We all shared a few more laughs, directed some jokes at the zombie brothers before we all eventually got over it. I noticed Hidan and Kakuzu refused to look at each other though.

Seeing that is was about time to go to school, I left the still bickering members in the hallway and went downstairs after telling Kathryn to hurry up. While I waited, I made the Akatsuki a small breakfast and got out a couple of Pop-Tart boxes just in case.

Once Kathryn ate her fill, she and I hurried off to school.

**Third Person!**

"I need to talk with you all, so get down here." Pein said in a slightly raised voice, calling all of his subordinates to the living room so he could address them. Within seconds all nine other members of the Akatsuki were positioned in the living room before him.

"What's up Leader-sama?" Hidan questioned, lounging on the couch.

"We need to decide what we're going to do when the time comes for us to return to our world." Pein stated.

Itachi's eyes darted to his Leader's ringed orbs. "What do you mean?"

"Konan and I have been discussing this for a time, and while we have yet to figure out a sound way to return home, we really should being thinking about what we're going to do." Pein stated. "Are we going to leave Alice and Kathryn here, or are we going to take them with us? Obviously this is their world and they belong here, but their knowledge of our world could be extremely useful. Not to mention, it seems that all of you have formed an attachment to the girls." He sighed. "As much as I'd hate to deprive any of you of something, I can't allow anyone to remain here." He crossed his arms. "So, what do we do?"

"Could Kathryn and Alice survive the jutsu or whatever we might use to back, un?" Deidara questioned. "I don't know if I'd be willing to risk Kathryn's life if we decide they come back with us, yeah."

"I agree with Deidara." Itachi said calmly.

"You know, if we could teach them how to harness chakra, as well as how to defend themselves, it might not cause them any harm at all." Kisame proposed. "I miss home, but I think I'd miss those feisty little things even more."

"I fucking second that." Hidan agreed. "We just need to make them ninja."

"Would it be possible though?" Kakuzu asked, raising an eyebrow at his partner.

"It's worth a try." Zetsu stated. "**Though, it'd be quieter if they just stayed here.** You're mean! Kathryn and Alice are very nice."

"Tobi would miss Alice-chan and Kathryn-chan!" Tobi announced. "Tobi agrees with Zetsu-san, Kisame-san, and Hidan-san!"

Pein nodded, listening to their opinions. "Well, we can discuss this further as time progresses and when we've thought about it more. As of now, all of you have a mission. Your mission is to see what the girls think of this idea."

"Try to make it seem like it's just your own curiosity though. Don't make it obvious that we're actually contemplating this." Konan added.

**First Person Alice!**

I walked into my condo with Kathryn behind me to see Pein and Konan watching TV with Tobi, Hidan, Zetsu, and Kisame.

"Hello my favorite bunch of criminals!" I said kindly. I patted Pein's head gently as I took off my shoes. I noticed he gave me a questioning raised eyebrow.

"You're early." Sasori told us when he descended the stairs.

I grinned. "Early dismissal. It's snowing like a fucking bitch out there." I jerked my thumb over my shoulder towards the outside.

"Danna!" Kathryn said cheerfully, glomping the puppet who was taken off guard by her actions. He caught her with a raised eyebrow.

"Hello Kathryn." Sasori said calmly. She nuzzled his chest.

She smiled. "I missed you Danna." She squeezed his middle. "You're my favorite redhead." His eyebrow rose higher before he looked to me for an answer.

"She's in a weird mood today. She's been clinging to me all day." I explained. "She's been telling me that she was going to smother all of you with hugs." I sighed and looked at Pein and Zetsu. "I had to try and persuade her to limit her smothering to those who wanted it."

Pein nodded. "I appreciate it."

Kathryn looked around me at Pein. "Does Pein want a hug?"

"Not really." He admitted. "I appreciate the offer."

She shrugged and latched further on to Sasori. "Suit yourself. I'll just love Sasori for every second you miss."

"Oh joy." Sasori deadpanned. He pet Kathryn gently for a moment before trying to coax her into attacking Hidan, which she did willingly.

"Hidan, if you pull anything while she's hugging you, I'll kick your ass." I threatened, kissing the top of Kisame's head. Said shark chuckled at me, tearing his eyes away from the TV long enough to give me a toothy grin.

Kathryn merely hugged Hidan for a time before moving onto Kisame. She spent some time with him before giving Konan an extra loving hug. Konan responded with a gentle, sweet reaction because she's just too sweet and nice for her own good.

Zetsu got a hug around his middle which he was rather split about. The white half didn't seem to care much, even going as far as to thank Kathryn kindly in an indifferent tone. The black half told her he was going to eat her.

Tobi got an especially long hug because Kathryn got absorbed by his childish personality and enthusiasm about the gesture. They sat on the floor in front of the TV clutching each other before a certain blond came down stairs, instantly winning Kathryn's attention.

"Dei!" She said happily, glomping the blond. He smiled tenderly when she wrapped her arms around his waist and buried her face into his chest.

"Hey Kathryn, un." Deidara smiled. "What are you guys doing back so early, yeah?"

"We had an early dismissal because of all the snow." I informed him. "Be prepared to have her latching onto you like that for a while. She's in a weird mood today."

Deidara chuckled but nodded, patting Kathryn's head gently.

"She practically tackled me when I came down stairs." Sasori told Deidara, looking away from the TV which was playing Criminal Minds. It figures they would like this show…

"Kathryn, are you okay, un?" Deidara asked.

She nodded and smiled, nuzzling him again. "I'm perfectly fine."

I shrugged at them before heading up the stairs to deposit my school stuff in my room. I smiled when I saw Itachi sitting in my room, reading a book on my bed.

Creeping over to him, I snuck onto the bed and crawled closer. I know for a fact he knew I was there, but I think he was humoring me because he didn't lower his book until I peeked over the back of it as he read.

My eyes were all that was visible over the book when I "sneaked" up on Itachi. I saw lips twitch as he pretended to read the pages. Assuming he was going to ignore me until I did something, I took the initiative.

Disappearing back behind the book, I nipped one of his fingers. I snickered when I heard him chuckle at my behavior. Hey man, he tasted pretty good. And I don't mean that in a creepy, cannibalistic way. I mean it in a perverted way because I'm actually a HUGE one.

I leaned back slightly as Itachi lowered the book, looking at me with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. I grinned back at him, my own eyebrow raised.

"Did you want something, Alice?" Itachi asked. Oh so he wanted to play that game? Well okay. I guess I could play with the Uchiha for a bit.

I rubbed my chin, mocking thought. "Yeah." I nodded. "You."

He chuckled and ran his gentle, perfect fingers over my cheek and along my jaw. "Well what are you waiting for?"

Okay so maybe I couldn't play with him.

That was fucking sexy.

I drooled. "Itachi, don't tempt me please. I'll rape you if you get much sexier." I told him. "If that's even possible..." I added as an afterthought.

He chuckled and grabbed my chin, pulling my mouth to meet his. "Are you sure it would be rape?" He questioned teasingly. Holy shit, who was this man and what did he do with Itachi?

I shook my head to get rid of the images racing through my mind. "Itachi, don't tease."

"I'm not." He told me, pulling up and positioning me so I was lying beside him. Leaning over me, Itachi bent closer to kiss me again.

It was a lot more heated than our usual ones I'll tell you that right now. And damn could he fucking kiss. If I didn't know better I'd say he was a pro with experience.

I felt his tongue graze my lower lip, searching for entrance and my mouth moved of its own accord to comply with his request. My mind was still back at my door, left far behind by my body which was keeping up with the Uchiha.

Now, I wasn't an innocent little girl. Not in the slightest. And this wasn't my first kiss ever, not by a long shot. However, this was the first time in a while I'd felt like this. That was probably because this was the first time in a while I'd willingly allowed another person to get this close to me. And honestly, I was more than thankful for Itachi in more ways than one.

_Holy hell, he has his tongue in my mouth._

Why hello mind. Where have you been all this time?

I struggled to keep my mind on the kiss while Itachi poked around, memorizing the interior of my sarcastic mouth of doom. He didn't try to shove his tongue down my throat like a few of the other guys I had kissed in my time. Nor did he try to kill my tongue in a battle of dominance. That might also be because my tongue was in shock, hiding in a corner to give him room to move around as he wished.

I fought back a snort as I mentally imaged that, unable to hold back a smile. Itachi smiled into the kiss as well, not exactly sure what I was smiling at. I bet if he knew what I was thinking, he'd probably question my sanity.

Not that he didn't do that anyways…

Itachi broke the kiss when we both need some good old oxygen. I looked up at him with what I'm sure was a very ridiculously stupid expression while he gazed down at me with an utterly sexy one.

"That was nice." I stated, breaking the silence.

"I couldn't agree more." Itachi whispered back.

I smiled. "We should do that more often."

"Again, Alice, you have taken the words out of my mouth." Itachi chuckled, giving me a small, gentle kiss on my lips before placing another on my forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too, Itachi." I replied. Gosh damn it he was so cute.

He nuzzled my face with his nose gently before he rested his head against the top of mine. He wrapped his arms around me and relaxed against me, enjoying our position. I leaned into his head while cuddling into his arms. I was the most pleased banana that ever existed.

"Alice, what are we going to do when it's time for us to go back to our world?" He asked me. "Will you come with me?" I could almost hear the sadness and slight hope in his voice.

I frowned as I thought about his question. Would I go with them if the decision was mine to make? I didn't know. Sure, I'd give about anything to stay with Itachi for the rest of my life, but would Kathryn be coming too? Could I leave her behind if she wasn't? What about Brett and Louis? They were the closest thing to family I had now.

I looked up into Itachi face and into his eyes and I found my answer.

Itachi was what I wanted. To be honest, I never really fit in with people in my world. I had Kathryn, Brett, Louis, and a few friends from school who I only saw for at most an hour every day. Sure I'd miss them all if I left, but leaving them was inevitable when we graduated.

Eventually I'd leave the house to go to college. Kathryn and I couldn't be attached at the hip forever, and I was pretty sure I wouldn't see my other friends from school more than maybe once a year. To be honest, being with Itachi and the rest of the Akatsuki who made me feel at home was a lot more appealing than a future here.

"If the decision is mine to make, I'd definitely go back with you." I told him. "Hands down, I'd stay with you if I could choose."

I saw him smile at that and he hugged me. "Thank you." He kissed my temple. "I don't think I'd be able to go on with my life if I couldn't have you. Now that I've gotten to know you so well, and we've grown this close, you're all I want."

"Likewise my dear." I told him seriously. "You guys aren't leaving though are you?"

Itachi shook his head, kissing my forehead. "No. None of us have thought of way to return home. I was just curious as to what you thought. I've been thinking about this ever since I knew I was in love with you."

I nodded, pleased that they weren't going to leave me any time soon.

* * *

_Woo! Hurray for my AQT team. We totally beat our opponents by double their score._

_I answered the last question which happened to be about spongebob. Yosh!_

_Any ways, I'm prolly updating my other FF today or tomorrow depending on my mood._

_I'm super duper tired today so bare with the typos and stuff that was in this chapter._

_I did my best to prevent that._

_Farewell comrades.  
_


	27. Chapter 27

_So yeah, I was going to post this yesterday, but I was visiting my uncle in the hospital._

_He has Tuberculosis and he had a really bad attack yesterday. :/_

_But on a good note, My team got second in our BPA thing._

_Anywho, enjoy the chapter._

_Sasunarufan101 gave me the idea for the very beginning. It made me laugh just thinking about it. So good work!  
_

_I don't own Naruto. I'm just a fangirl who doesn't get paid to write about the crazy ideas in her head.  
_

**

* * *

Third Person!**

Kathryn grinned as she got Louis and Brett on Skype. It was close to ten in the morning on a Friday. She and Alice had _another_ snow day, and surprisingly, she had woken up early. Alice, Itachi, and Kisame were still sleeping, as was everyone else as far as she knew except for Sasori and Deidara. Both artists were sitting beside her as she greeted Brett and Louis.

"Hello Bee. Hello Lulu." Kathryn sang cheerfully. "I have something I want to show you guys." She giggled as the evil plan ran through her mind.

Louis sighed and dipped his head. "So show us."

Brett was busy drooling over Deidara and Sasori. "They're so CUTE!"

"That's kind of creepy, un." Deidara muttered. Sasori nodded his agreement.

Kathryn giggled at her love and his Danna before she picked up the laptop and stood, heading for Alice's room. "You're gonna be very surprised."

"About what?" Louis questioned. He seemed indifferent as Kathryn carried the laptop through his condo. He was just relieved to see it wasn't in shambles.

Kathryn shushed him. "Just be quiet and look." She slipped into Alice's room with Deidara and Sasori following behind her. She grinned as she saw exactly what she wanted to see.

Alice was lying in between Itachi and Kisame. Kisame was shirtless and had his arms wrapped around Alice. Itachi was lying on his side, his hand entwined with Alice's.

Grinning, Kathryn turned the laptop around so Louis and Brett could see the sleeping partners cuddling with Louis's Alice. She snickered as she saw his crazy side brewing in his eyes. Brett however looked like he was going to melt at the cuteness.

"What the FUCK is going on there?" Louis shouted through the laptop. Kathryn was certain that if Louis could, he would be coming out of the laptop to kill.

Alice woke up at the noise and looked around in confusion before her eyes fell on Kathryn holding the laptop. At first she didn't see what the problem was until her multicolored orbs landed on Louis's face which was dominating the computer screen.

"Shit." She swore.

"Alice…" Louis growled. "Explain. Now."

Alice sighed and poked Itachi and Kisame awake before she moved to get closer to Louis's face. She gazed at him tiredly.

"Louis, I'm tired okay? Can you yell at me later?" She asked.

"No I can't!" Louis snarled. "Now tell me what the fuck is going on!"

She sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. "I had another night terror. Kisame and Itachi were helping me sleep since you guys aren't here." She said sadly.

Louis's angry expression softened instantly. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "It was a bad one." She had an extremely apologetic expression on her face.

Kathryn frowned at Alice. She never expected Alice to lie to get out of Louis's rage. She opened her mouth to confront her fib before she noticed Alice's extremely tired expression and the fact that Kisame and Itachi looked tired as well.

She glanced at Sasori. "Did she really have a night terror or is she just lying to escape Louis's wrath?" For Alice's shake, she hoped she really didn't have one.

"She had one." Sasori confirmed. "It woke up everyone in the house. You however slept like the dead." He looked at Alice. "It was actually quiet shocking."

Brett pushed his way onto the screen, having heard Sasori's words. "Alice, do you need us to come home?"

Alice shook her head. "I'm okay. Itachi and Kisame helped." She yawned and rubbed her eyes tiredly. "Can I go back to sleep now? Or are you still mad at me Lu?"

Louis shook his head. "No. I'm not mad at you. You can go back to sleep sweetie." He watched her with eyes full of concern.

"Okay. I love you Bee, Lulu." She said with a smile. "I'm gonna go make everyone something to eat before I go back to sleep. I think I kept Itachi and Kisame awake all night so they deserve to sleep too."

Louis frowned. "Alice, I'm permitting them to sleep in the same bed as you because they're keeping you calm. However, if I find out they do more than that, I'll kill them." His eyes drifted to the two partners. "Thank you for taking care of my bitch."

"That's a really rude way of putting it, but you're welcome." Kisame said with a tired chuckle. Itachi merely hn-ed.

Alice laughed lightly. "When are you guys coming home?"

Brett smiled sadly at her. "My mom wants me to stay for her birthday. And I think she wants me to go to the cemetery with her on the three year mark of Nate's death."

Alice nodded. "That's fine. You guys don't have to hurry back for me. I'm fine." She patted Kisame and Itachi. "I've got the Akatsuki looking after me after all."

"That's what I'm worried about." Louis deadpanned. "Though, it's better than the Espada looking after you. At least some of the Akatsuki are nice."

Alice smacked her forehead. "Only you would make that connection."

"Oh don't you give me that. I bet you thought of it too!" Louis snapped.

Alice looked at the ground. "Maybe…"

"See?" Louis said with a victorious smirk. His smirk turned to a tender smile. "Well, go eat and then get some sleep. I gotta go to my class and Brett wants to go shopping."

Alice smiled at him. "Okay. Bye Louis, bye Bee. I love you guys."

"We love you too Alice." Louis told her.

"Yes I loves you very much!" Brett sang. "And all of the Akatsuki are fucking sexy. They better be there when we get back because I'm raping some of them."

Alice made a face. "I don't think that would go over well…"

Brett giggled manically. "Too bad!"

"_Goodbye_ Brett." Alice told him firmly, shaking her head at his antics. She looked at Kathryn. "You can turn the laptop off now."

Kathryn did as she was told, shutting the portable computer at Alice's command.

**First Person Alice!**

My eyes narrowed at Kathryn after she shut the laptop. "Why were you trying to get me killed?" I got off my bed to stand in front of her.

"I thought it would be funny to see their reactions." Kathryn admitted with a shrug. "I didn't know you had a night terror."

"I don't know how you slept through that." I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. I walked around Kathryn, heading for my bathroom to go wake up. "I woke up everyone in the house screaming." I saw the others exchange a worried glance as I entered the bathroom.

That night terror scared the shit out of me. Itachi had to wake me up by jolting me with chakra because it was getting too violent. When I came to, all of the Akatsuki were in my room. I felt even worse when I saw all of them in there.

I'd woken everyone up and scared the hell out of some of them. Even Hidan looked shocked and he's supposed to be into that kind of stuff.

The bad thing is, is that I never remember what I dream about. I just remember waking up from it feeling absolutely terrified. And I'm not one to get scared easily. To be quite honest, I usually laugh at the things most people find terrifying.

The only thing in this world that scared me was escalators. I had a morbid fear of them and I wouldn't even get near one. Stairs kind of freaked me out too. Other than that, I was fearless. It's pretty pathetic I know, but I can't help my phobias.

Though I could do nothing about the night terrors, I was angry at myself for being so weak and vulnerable. I didn't have a reason why, I just was.

Damn it. I'm going emo.

Sighing after brushing my brown hair that was always too long, I exited my bathroom and went straight downstairs to go make breakfast for everyone.

Pein and Konan were sitting at the table talking with Zetsu and Kakuzu when I walked in. They looked up when I entered to look at me with concern.

"Good morning guys." I sighed. I went directly to the fridge and began extracting the necessary ingredients for a massive breakfast for everyone. I believed I had to compensate for waking everyone up in the middle of the night by making them something good to eat.

"Good morning Alice." Konan said sweetly. "How are you?"

I glanced over my shoulder at her, grabbing containers and shit to make the food. "I'm tired as hell, but I'm alright. How are you guys?"

"We're all fine." Kakuzu stated. "Why don't you sleep if you're tired?"

"This is my way of attempting to compensate by waking you all up last night." I informed him. "It's not much, but hey, there isn't much I can do."

"Alice, there is no reason you should feel the need to make it up to us. It's not like you did it intentionally. Besides, it's not that big of a deal." Pein told me seriously.

"Yeah well I still feel bad." I retorted.

"Don't." Itachi sexy voice said as it filled the kitchen. "It's not your fault."

I nodded, swallowing a sarcastic comment that would only be rude in this situation. "Okay, fine, but since I'm already working on it, shut up so I can make you breakfast."

"**She basically just told you whatever.** She's pretty stubborn." Zetsu stated with a smirk. He knew me too well so I smiled at him and continued my task.

The rest of the Akatsuki and Kathryn were positioned in the kitchen by the time I finished cooking. I set the table in a flash and gave them the go ahead.

I sat on the counter nibbling one of the bagels I set out while everyone else attacked the table. I watched them all chat and devour the food with a slight smile.

Deidara, Tobi, Kathryn and Hidan were flicking food at each other, much to Pein's annoyance. He sat between Konan and Itachi, his eyebrow twitching as he tried to ignore them.

Sasori was talking with Kakuzu and Zetsu. Kisame was bothering Itachi who was ignoring his partner by talking to Konan and Pein.

"I love you guys." I told them, smiling.

All of them paused in their activities to look at me. Some of them looked confused as to why I decided to declare my love for them so randomly.

"Tobi loves Alice-chan too!" Tobi said sweetly, throwing his hands in the air.

I smiled at the masked man. "Good boy Tobi."

"What brought this on?" Sasori questioned.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I was just watching you guys and I felt the need to let you all know I loved you." I sighed. "I'm being weird. Just ignore me."

"Awe, we all love you too, Alice!" Kathryn told me firmly. "The guys are just too macho to admit it. Except Tobi because he's a sweetheart."

I voiced my agreement with her before finishing my bagel. I hopped down from the counter, walked towards the kitchen door, patting Sasori's fluffy head on my way, and shuffled to the living room.

I flopped down on the couch and closed my eyes, welcoming the sleep I'd been deprived of because of my mental deficiencies.

I was roused by an uncomfortable weight on top of me. Snapping my eyes opened I noticed I was still in the living room on the couch, but I wasn't alone. Tobi was lounging on top of me like I was part of the couch. He was taller than me and managed to cover my entire body with his as he lay on his back on top of me.

Normally I'd be disgruntled by this, but I couldn't bring myself to be mad at Tobi. He's just so sweet and cute. If it was Madara, I'd probably go Sasori on his ass and insult him with a barrage of sarcastic invective. But I wouldn't be _mad_ at him.

The rest of the Akatsuki were in there as well. Hidan was sitting on my legs; Kisame was sitting on the floor beside me, leaning against me. Pein, Itachi, Konan, and Kakuzu were sitting on the unoccupied couch. Sasori had the computer chair while Kathryn and Deidara took up the recliner.

"Is there a reason why you're laying on me, Tobi dearest?" I questioned into the couch. I was too lazy to lift my head up to speak properly. So it came out muffled into the cushion.

Kisame snickered at me.

"Alice-chan is comfortable!" Tobi informed me.

"Why thank you Tobi." I said sarcastically. Sasori chuckled. "And as much as I appreciate your compliment, I'd be even happier if you would let me get up."

Tobi complied kindly, giving me a backwards hug before rolling off me. Taking advantage of his absence, I rose to my knees on the couch since Hidan was still sitting on my legs. That was really awkward to do.

"Hidan, I need my legs." I stated.

He just gave me a crafty smirk.

I sighed and tried to move again, but lost my balance and fell back into his lap. He chuckled at my situation. I frowned as he wrapped his arms around me.

"Alice, if you wanted me that bad, all you had to do was fucking ask." He teased.

"As if you pervert." I growled. "Now, give me my legs, or I'll sick Kisame on you."

He smirked. "I'm not afraid of that fucker."

I put on my best pouting face. "Kisame, Hidan's being mean. He's hurting my legs."

Kathryn pointed at my face. "It's so cute and yet so sad!"

Kisame chuckled and stood. He pried me away from Hidan before punching the zealot in the side of the head. I smirked victoriously as I hugged my lovable shark, enjoying Hidan's swearing of pain and Kisame's comfortable embrace.

"Thank you Kisame." I said with a smile.

"You're very welcome, Alice." He told me kindly. He set me gently on the couch beside Tobi before taking the seat next to me. I clutched onto Tobi when Kisame sat down.

Deidara sighed. "I'm bored, un."

"You know, I'm surprised you guys haven't brought the house down since you've been cooped up in here for so long." I smiled before looking at Pein. "The snow _has _stopped." I jerked my thumb towards the outside while my head rested on Tobi's shoulder. "You guys can go train outside if you want."

"What about the snow on the ground?" Kakuzu questioned.

I smirked. "I give you guys permission to use some less destructive jutsu to remove the snow from my backyard. As long as it doesn't destroy my backyard or house, I don't care what method you use."

Pein raised his eyebrow at me. "Are you sure?"

"Sure I am. Knock yourselves out." I nodded. "I trust you guys."

Pein dipped his head. "Very well. Let's go train guys."

I trailed after the Akatsuki with Tobi to watch them get rid of the snow. I laughed manically in victory when I watched Itachi use his fire jutsu to melt a large portion of the snow. Pein used his almighty push business which was pretty freaking awesome. Kakuzu used some lazy versions of his wind and fire thingy that was pretty intense. Kisame used some water thingy which was awesome; though I'm pretty sure he killed a tree.

The best part though, was Kathryn. She had gotten a bowl from the kitchen and was now scooping up snow into the bowl before launching it over the fence. Deidara was having a laughing fit watching her.

A few minutes later and my yard was snow free.

"If I had a driveway, I would so enslave you guys to make you shovel it." I announced. "Good work. And thanks for not killing my yard."

Sasori responded with a sarcastic comment about enslaving me just for the hell of it as he walked out into the yard to spar with Deidara. I resisted the urge to retaliate when someone gained my attention.

Itachi was standing behind me with a tilted head.

"Yes Itachi?" I asked.

"Would you like to learn?" He questioned. "Perhaps I can teach you how to harness chakra." I raised my eyebrow at him. "If not, I can at least try to teach you how to defend yourself." Was he being protective or was he just being nice and asking?

"Uh, sure." I shrugged. "Why not?"

He smiled softly at me and led me towards the side of the yard away from the other members sparring. It was at that moment that I noticed Deidara was going the same with Kathryn. Kisame and Sasori were sparring together since their partners were occupied.

"Kisame's not going to get mad if I take his partner is he?" I asked.

Itachi chuckled. "This was actually Kisame's idea."

"So what'd you do? Steal me from him?" I wondered.

"No. He suggested that I train you." Itachi informed me. "Kisame couldn't bring himself to fight you no matter what the situation was. He too caring."

"You are too mister." I smirked. "Funny, I always thought he was a fighting enthusiast."

Itachi smiled. "He is, but you're an exception."

"Yes!" I said cheerfully, punching the air. I looked towards Kisame and waved at him, giving him a big smile. "I love you Kisame!"

He paused in deflecting Sasori to grin at me. "I love you too, Alice."

I whooped before turning my attention back to Itachi. "Alright sexy, let's get started."

"Very well." He nodded.

I suppose I should have told Itachi that I was a black belt in karate before my shoulder got fucked up. That and I knew some Taekwondo from Louis who was an 8th degree black belt in that _and_ karate.

He was legitimately surprised when I was able to deflect some of his blows and retaliate with my own. Of course I was nowhere near to being as good as he was. Not even close. However, at least I was able to impress him ever so slightly.

Itachi tried to teach me the concept of chakra and how to wield it, but nothing seemed to work. I guess it was something you had to be born with. It wasn't something you could just gain, especially not in my world.

I barely managed to block one of the sexy weasel's blows before he decided that we had done enough for the day. I was a little worn out. Not being very physical, my body was screaming "what the fuck?" at me. That and I didn't sleep very well. I was sure I'd be sleeping like the dead tonight.

I laced my hand with Itachi's since I was blocking it. It was then that I noticed he was looking at me with a slightly pained expression.

"Itachi? What's wrong?" I asked.

He brought our hands up to his mouth before kissing mine. "Your shoulder really is messed up isn't it? If it wasn't for that, you'd be quite a good fighter."

_Woo! Compliment from the perfect sexy Uchiha!_

I sighed. "Yeah, it's a pain in the neck."

"Perhaps Konan could fix it." Itachi proposed. "I'll talk to her about it later."

"Don't waste your time, Itachi." I said, waving it off. "She doesn't need to waste her chakra on something trivial like this."

"It isn't trivial, Alice." Itachi said firmly.

"Alright, alright." I sighed. "You're right I'm wrong."

He smirked in victory. That smug little jerk…

He's lucky he's cute and I love him.

* * *

_I decided to give Alice my phobia and my shoulder problems.  
_

_Escalaphobia. I also have a small touch of Climacophobia, but I _**HATE**_ escalators._

_Sethy-Poo forced me to get on one at our BPA awards thing. He literally picked me up and carried me onto it over his shoulder._

_That jerk got a fist to the face as soon as we got off._

_I've been freaked out all day._

_Just thought I'd share..._

_Good day dears.  
_


	28. Chapter 28

_So my aunt died yesterday..._

_It's been really awkward around my house..._

_My power was out forever last night. I don't even know why._

_Oh well._

_Enjoy my dears._

_I do not own the Akatsuki.  
_

* * *

My goal in life is to be a ninja. And because that is my goal, I practice my skills at every chance I get. Right now was one of those moments.

My target sat before me, oblivious to my presence. His expression was uninterested as he watched Kathryn and Hidan play rock paper scissors to decide who had to go find a candle. His chocolate brown eyes sparkled in the candlelight. The flame of the candle danced on his fiery red hair as I approached silently.

I was crawling on my hands and knees, low to the ground. My attire was black so I blended in with the darkness of the living room.

My target sighed, closing his eyes as he ran a hand through his hair.

This was my moment to strike.

"SASORI!" I shouted, tackling the puppet off of the computer chair and to the ground.

He grunted in shock as I collided with him, and pinned him to the floor. His eyes were wide and he instantly tensed to defend himself until he saw me sitting on top of him laughing my ass off. With a sigh, he shoved me off.

"Alice, you're an idiot." He growled.

"Awe, don't be mad because I'm more ninja than you are." I scoffed.

He was instantly behind me. "Really?" He questioned, breathing into my ear, successfully shocking me with his ninja abilities.

Damn it, he was right…

I yelped in surprise and glomped Kisame. "Kisame! Sasori's being mean!"

The shark chuckled. "I'll protect you Alice." He hugged me.

"Yes!" I cheered. "Suck on that Sasori!" He rolled his eyes.

Pein looked at me through the darkness from his spot on the other couch. "You're more lively that usual."

"I love it when the power goes out." I told him. "It makes it so much more fun." I grinned. "Plus I don't have to look at Sasori."

"You're hilarious." He deadpanned, smacking me in the head. I stuck my tongue out at him. He just rolled his eyes at me in return.

"I hate it!" Kathryn pouted. "I'm afraid of the dark, especially when Danna decides to pick on me." She clung to Sasori who had returned to his chair.

"That was one time." Sasori defended.

"Actually, it was eight times." Itachi corrected as he came back into the living room from the kitchen. Deidara trailed in after him, holding a flashlight.

Deidara walked over to Kathryn and pulled her into a hug. "Don't worry Kathryn, un. I'll keep you safe, yeah."

"You can protect me any time you sexy-full bomber!" Kathryn cooed, hugging Deidara. I snickered at them as I clutched onto Itachi when he sat next to me and Kisame.

I looked around the room. "You know what would be awesome?"

"What?" Kakuzu questioned.

"We need to make shadow puppets." I declared. "Hidan, give me that flashlight!"

Hidan tossed the flashlight at me as he returned with a candle. Itachi caught it for me so it wouldn't hit me by chance before he handed it to me. I smirked victoriously and pointed the flashlight at the wall. I made a dog head with my hands.

"Puppy!" I declared.

Zetsu snickered at me. "That's very creative Alice. **You're such an idiot. You consider this awesome?** Oh leave her alone. **Shut up.**"

I grinned. "Thanks white Zetsu. And you black Zetsu can suck my metaphorical cock. I love you, but don't insult my shadow Sasori."

Sasori glared.

I formed a middle finger, alternating between that and a loser sign. "Look guys, it's Sasori." They all chuckled when I basically called Sasori a "fucking loser".

"I'll cut your fingers off." Sasori threatened.

Itachi grabbed my hand. "Alice, you shouldn't act like Hidan."

"Hey fuck you Uchiha bastard!" Hidan snapped.

"See?" Itachi pressed, looking at me.

I laughed. "Alright." I looked at Konan. "How do you deal with all of this?"

"I don't know." She admitted with a laugh.

"Do you ground them?" Kathryn wondered.

She smiled. "Unfortunately, no, I've never grounded them. But that's only because it wouldn't work."

"Pein could do it for you." I offered.

"I'll ask him next time." She giggled.

Pein rolled his eyes. "They aren't children."

"You could have fooled me with some of them. Sasori mostly."

Sasori scoffed. "Yes, because you're more mature than me. Think again brat."

I grinned at him. "Don't be mad because I'm better than you, Sasori."

"That is impossible." Sasori deadpanned. "You're worse than Hidan."

"I happen to think Hidan is quite awesome." I told him.

Sasori nodded. "And that is why you're a fool."

"Yeah, and you're an artistically confused moron." I retorted.

His eyes narrowed. "Come here and say that to my face."

"Oh but I will." I stated, getting to my feet to walk over to Sasori. "You sir, are an artistically confused _moron_."

Suddenly I was over Sasori's shoulder, and he was heading for the laundry room. I yelled and tried to fight back when he went towards the drier. He opened the door and shifted me in his grasp to shove me inside.

"AH!" I shouted. "HELP!" I punched Sasori in the side of his head. "Tobi!"

Tobi skipped into the laundry room to see me and Sasori fighting each other. It was mostly me flailing while Sasori held me with little to no effort. I might as well have been dead for as much of a challenge I was giving him.

"Tobi! Fight Sasori!" I yelped.

Sasori glared at Tobi. "Get away."

"Tobi will help Alice-chan because Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi declared, lunging at the puppet master. Sasori dodged Tobi's attack and took his absence as his chance to shove me in the drier. I heard a bang from outside the cramped little space.

"Can Alice-chan hear Tobi?" Tobi asked, banging on the outside of the drier.

"Tobi!" I shouted back.

I heard another bang. "Leave her in there, Tobi." Sasori's voice ordered. I listened to Tobi apologize as he ran away from the room. He abandoned me under Sasori's attack.

"Sasori you suck!" I yelled. It was really uncomfortable in there.

"And you're an idiot." He barked. "You're lucky the power is out or else I'd have turned this thing on."

I punched the inside of the drier. "Let me out! Kisame! Help me!"

"Sasori, let her out." Kisame's voice called from the living room.

"No." Sasori snapped.

So much for helping me…

Time for plan C!

"KATHRYN!" I hollered.

"ALICE!" Kathryn called back. I listened to the rumbling of footsteps. "DANNA LET ALICE GO!" I heard a collision outside and what I assumed was Kathryn's flailing.

"Kathryn, get out of here!" Sasori barked.

"No!" Kathryn snapped. "Dei! Help me!"

I was ripped from the drier in the next second by a laughing Deidara. He shoved me towards the door so he could help Kathryn. She was on Sasori's back, pulling his hair while he stood there looking irritated as she attacked him.

"Kathryn, I saved Alice, un. You can let Danna go yeah." Deidara said, chuckling.

She dropped from Sasori at his request and glomped him. "You're so sexy and helpful Deidara. I love you!"

"I love you too, yeah." He chuckled, kissing her forehead. "You're not going to attack Alice and Kathryn are you, Danna, un?"

Sasori shrugged. "That depends on them. If they annoy me, yes. If not, then no." He walked around the two blond lovers to smirk at me. "Did you enjoy your time in the drier?"

"No I didn't, thanks for asking." I growled. He chuckled at my fake anger and rumpled my hair. That smug little asshole scorpion…

"I'm so glad." He teased, heading for the living room again.

I followed after him, hitting him with a hanger I had found every left step he took. I could tell he was getting annoyed but I didn't care. This is what he gets for shoving me in the drier.

"Alice, hit me with that thing one more time, and I'll strangle you with it." Sasori threatened. He turned to glare at me over his shoulder.

I grinned and went to hit him with again only to be stopped by Itachi who stepped in my line of fire. He smiled at me and took the hanger.

"How about we leave Sasori alone for a bit okay?" He suggested. His eyes drifted to Sasori and narrowed. "You be nice to Alice."

Sasori rolled his eyes. "I'm not afraid of you, Itachi. Your woman started it."

"I'm aware." Itachi stated, turning back to me to give me a smirk. "That's one of the reasons why I didn't mean any sort of threat."

I raised my eyebrows. "What's the other reason?"

"Sasori would never actually hurt you." Itachi told me. He grabbed my hand. "Now come." He pulled me to the couch and sat me beside Kisame before taking the open seat on my other side. Kisame put his hand gently on the top of my head when I sat next to him.

Kathryn skipped back into the room. Kathryn threw a glomp on Sasori when she reached him. "I'm so glad you guys aren't super evil. To be quite honest, I figured you all would have killed us by now."

"I wish." Hidan scoffed.

"They easily could have if they wanted to." I told her, throwing Hidan a look.

Pein raised his eyebrow at us. "While Alice is correct, we needed the two of you for answers and we needed you to act as our caretakers." He glanced around at his subordinates for a second. "It's merely a benefit that you two have grown close to us. It was not something I anticipated."

My eyebrow rose. "So you're saying that you didn't kill us because you needed to use us, but over time here you guys came to like us." When he nodded I smiled. "Well I'm touched. I like you guys a shit load too."

"Had you proved to be useless before we befriended you, we would have killed you." Kakuzu informed me. "Or at least one of you."

"When you put it like that, it makes me scared." Kathryn pouted. "I don't want Kuzu to kill me." She squeezed Deidara who she had moved to in favor of Sasori. She leaned against his legs, wishing to be close to both of her artists.

Kakuzu chuckled. "I won't."

"Yippy!" She cheered. "I love you Kakuzu!"

He smirked at her.

I rested my head on Itachi's shoulder while I poked Kisame with my toes. He just chuckled at me in response. "What do you want to do guys?" I asked.

I could barely see Kathryn in the dim light. She placed her finger on her chin in thought. "I think we should play a game."

"But what kind of game." I pressed.

She frowned. "I dunno." She jumped up and down in her spot. "Let's play hide and seek!" She squealed. "It'll be so fun!"

"Yes. Two teenagers and a shit load of ninjas." I droned. "Because that would be fair and easy…" I shook my head at her antics. "Pick something else. If it comes down to it, we might."

"We could play twenty questions…" Kathryn suggested.

I sighed. "Possibly."

She pouted. "Why am I the only one thinking of stuff?"

"Why should I do it when you can?" I questioned, giving her a smile. "We could play the insult/compliment game."

She giggled. "You and Sasori would win."

"Let's play it." I declared. I looked to the others in the darkness of the room. "Alright guys, we're playing the insult/compliment game. It's really easy and it can get pretty fun." I sat up, switching my lounging on Itachi for just his hand.

"How do you play?" Kisame asked.

"Tobi wants to play!" Tobi cheered.

I smiled. "It's really easy. You guys know the alphabet right?"

"Yes." They said in unison.

"Good." I praised. "Now, whoever goes first must pick some in the room and either insult them or compliment them using the letter A. For example: Kathryn your ass is bony." I told her. "You can say the person's name and one other word before the letter you're on is necessary."

Kathryn laughed. "Since Alice used A, I have to insult or compliment someone using B. Deidara, you're beautiful." Kathryn stated. Deidara kissed the side of her head with a kind "thanks, you are too".

"Now it's your turn Dei." I told him. "Do you guys get it?"

"It seems fairly simple." Kakuzu stated.

Sasori rolled his eyes. "Only you would play this game, Alice."

"I think it's really fun." I said with a shrug. "We can play it the other way if we finish this way too quickly. There are multiple ways to play it; I think this is easier though."

Deidara crossed his arms. "Hidan you're a crazy bastard, un."

I laughed. "Good job Deidara."

He chuckled at me and grinned. "I like this game."

Hidan scoffed. "Kakuzu, you're a dick."

Kakuzu looked at me. "Do I have to insult someone other than him?"

"Yes Kakuzu." I snickered.

He sighed. "Alice, you're extremely random."

"Thank you." I smiled. "Itachi you're fucking sexy."

Itachi chuckled and kissed my head. "Pein-sama, you're a great leader."

Pein chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Konan, you have nice hair."

She giggled. "Thanks." Her attention snapped to Sasori. "Your intelligence level is below minimum." I laughed loudly and high fived her as Sasori rolled his eyes.

"Alice you're a jackass." Sasori told me.

"Kisame you're kick-ass!" I complimented. He snickered.

Kisame looked at Deidara. "You're a loser, Deidara."

Deidara rolled his eyes but smiled. "Tobi, you're majorly annoying."

"Not as annoying as Kathryn-chan." Tobi jeered.

Kathryn giggled. "Zetsu you're obviously strange."

Zetsu chuckled. "**Hidan's a prick.**"

"Kakuzu's queer." Hidan laughed.

"Kisame is ridiculous." Kakuzu continued, punching Hidan.

Kisame laughed. "Itachi is stoic."

"Alice you're ten times more sarcastic than Sasori." Itachi stated.

"Fuck, I would get U." I swore. "But thank you Itachi. I know." I looked at Sasori. "You're useless, Sasori."

He smirked. "Hilarious." His attention went to Kakuzu. "You're very… vicious."

"Oh going for the two V's." I laughed. "Good job Useless Sasori."

"Hidan is a worthless pile of shit." Kakuzu growled.

Hidan rolled his eyes. "Fuck! What insults start with X?" I ran over to him and whispered a word in his ear. He looked at Konan. "Xylophones remind me of your hair."

Kathryn and I burst out laughing while Konan just looked confused. "Yogurt is my favorite, just like you, Pein-sama."

Pein chuckled. "Hidan is a zealously zealous zealot."

"Woo! Go Pein with the three Z's." I cheered. He just smirked.

"Game one is over! Next game." Kathryn announced. "I think Pein wins."

I nodded. "I agree." A smile came onto my face. "Hidan comes in second because that compliment thing was awesome. Konan is in third because she had a nice compliment too."

"**You two are so weird.**" Zetsu told us. "You laugh at the strangest things."

"Yeah, but that because you guys are funny." Kathryn explained.

I smirked. "I'm actually just laughing at Sasori's ridiculous face!"

"I'm glad to know it brings you pleasure unlike your face which only gives me nightmares." Sasori teased.

"Too bad you don't sleep asshole." I challenged. "My night terrors are brought on by you. You scary jerk."

And so our sarcasm battle began.

"Here we go again…" Kisame sighed.

* * *

_Have you guys ever played that game?_

_Me and my friends play it all the time, but we do the more advanced version of it._

_Oh and therapist is a fun game too. We play it before every AQT match._

_Great things to do when your power is out._

_Especially when you have a shit load of criminals in your house with you._

_Because that happens to everyone...!_

_Lol, I want you guys to know that you make me super happy._

_So have a nice day/night/life/time until I post again.  
_


	29. Chapter 29

_Sorry about the delay guys. I've been sick as hell all weekend._

_My brother got pneumonia and decided to give it to me too._

_But, I'm slowly getting better._

_I don't own Naruto._

_Enjoy  
_

* * *

The days went by quickly, and soon, a few weeks passed.

Every time they got a chance, the Akatsuki would go outside and train. And during those training sessions someone would train me while Deidara trained Kathryn.

Now, I say someone because it wasn't always Itachi. There were a few times over the course of the couple of weeks that passed where I pissed off Sasori enough to where he wanted to "train" me. However, he mostly just kicked my ass and watched me wear myself out trying to fight him and insult him at the same time.

Hidan trained me once, but after he almost landed a really powerful punch on me, he was forbidden. Kisame flipped a shit when he thought Hidan hurt me. It was so sweet. I freaking love that shark. Once Hidan's turn was over, it was just Itachi and Sasori. Sasori only fought me when I was being particularly sarcastic and vicious.

And Konan was officially an angel in my book. She healed my shoulder. It took her a few goes, but in the end, she fixed the damn thing. I will never be able to thank that woman enough. She fixed me and didn't expect anything in return. There was no way I could ever make it up to her. Words can't express my gratitude.

At this point I was wrestling with Hidan in the living room because he stole my iPod and wouldn't give it back. Tobi was bouncing around us, cheering us both on.

Kathryn had tuned us out in favor of talking with Sasori, Konan, white Zetsu and Pein. Itachi and Kisame watched us with Deidara and dark Zetsu.

I don't know how Zetsu was doing it either…

Anyways, once I had wrestled my iPod from Hidan with Tobi's help, Kathryn and I left the Akatsuki downstairs to go and take showers. I trained with Sasori today so I was especially gross and tired. He's such a meaner.

**Third Person!**

Pein's ringed orbs followed the two girls upstairs as they went to shower. He waited until he heard the water start before addressing his members.

"Did you guys talk to Alice and Kathryn?" Pein wondered.

Itachi and Deidara both nodded.

"And?" Pein inquired.

Itachi sighed. "Alice confessed that if the choice was hers to make, she would come with us without hesitation." He closed his eyes for a moment. "When we discussed it further, she admitted that she would rather Kathryn come with her, but she'd still choose a life with all of us in our world than a life here in hers."

Pein nodded. He noticed that some of the Akatsuki looked pleased with that response. "And Kathryn?" He looked to Deidara.

"Kathryn said she wanted to, but if it came down to it, she'd probably only go if Alice went with her, un." Deidara stated.

"So that's good. They want to come back with us." Konan smiled. "We won't have to worry about that aspect now.

"How is their training going?" Pein asked. "Still no chakra?"

Itachi shook his head. "None." Deidara nodded in confirmation.

Their pierced leader sighed. "If they do not develop chakra by the time we go, they stay. I'm not going to risk killing them."

"How much time do we have?" Itachi wondered. He felt his chest constrict at Pein's words. He didn't want to leave Alice behind.

"We are getting close to finding a way home." Pein announced. "It won't be much longer before we can return to our world."

The others merely nodded in response. All of them were thinking different things.

_Huh. _Alice thought silently, leaning against the wall on the top of the stairs. She had been about to go down stairs to ask and of the Akatsuki if they wanted to shower first, but paused when she heard Pein addressing his members.

**First Person Alice!**

So that's what was going on?

Thoughts were racing through my head as I took a shower and got dressed. How much longer did I have with them? How could I get chakra so I could go back with them? Would they really leave me here?

I brushed my hair, wondering if I should bring it up with Kisame and Itachi. I'm certain I wasn't supposed to hear any of that, so it'd probably be better if I _didn't_ say anything.

Damn.

I wanted to go out there right now and just hug the shit out of all of them. I wanted to duct tape Itachi and Kisame to me so they couldn't leave me. I want to immobilize Deidara and Sasori so they could stay here with Kathryn and me.

I wanted to chain Hidan and Kakuzu up so they had to stay with us. I wanted to force Zetsu, Tobi, Pein, and Konan to just stay here with me.

If they returned back to their world, odds are, they would die just like in the manga and anime. The thought of that propelled me into a state of depression. I didn't want them to leave me. Though they've only been here for a few months, I'd grown deeply attached to all of them.

I slid to the floor in the corner of the bathroom and wrapped my arms around my knees which I had brought to my chest. My chest hurt. I wanted it to stop, but I couldn't think of how to make it quit.

Okay, now I sound emo.

Quick Alice! Into the emotionless box!

I shrank back into my emotionless box and got to my feet, muttering to myself about goodness knows what. If I looked at something, I instantly started talking to myself about it. I left my bathroom, and my bedroom to go down stairs and occupy myself with something.

I was completely oblivious to everyone else as I bustled around the living room and kitchen, muttering under my breath about anything and everything that didn't have to do with the Akatsuki.

I could feel them staring at me, and I could hear them talking, but none of it registered.

**Third Person!**

"What is she doing?" Itachi asked Kathryn in the doorway to the kitchen, watching Alice talk to herself and clean with concern in his voice and face.

Kathryn just shrugged as she leaned on Deidara. "Just leave her alone. She's in one of her moods." Kathryn told him. "She'll snap out of it in a little bit."

"Does this happen often?" Konan wondered.

Kathryn looked at her. "It only happens when she goes into her box."

"Her box?" Konan repeated.

"Her emotionless box." Kathryn nodded. "She's upset about something, and this is her way of burying her feelings to get over it. It's not exactly healthy, but it's how she copes."

Itachi looked at Alice. "What is she upset about?" He asked himself more than anyone else. Alice passed by him to throw something away, muttering something about how tables only get in the way of things.

Kathryn shrugged. "I dunno. Did someone say something to her?"

All of the Akatsuki shook their heads.

"Then you don't have to worry about it." Kathryn admitted. "Just let her deal with it on her own. She'll crack if you bother her while she's coping. And it isn't pretty."

Itachi sorely wished to do the opposite of what Kathryn said, but he didn't want to cause Alice any unnecessary pain. He wanted to do nothing more than just hold her. And it wasn't just because he wanted to console her. He needed her embrace as well. He too was distraught about possibly leaving her.

Itachi sighed after a time and went to the couch to sit between Kathryn and Kisame. The eleven coherent occupants of the house watched Alice pace and clean her already clean house.

Fifteen minutes passed before Alice suddenly stopped in the middle of walking to the kitchen for the twentieth time in the past ten minutes. She stopped in mid-step before her gaze dropped to the floor and her muttering stopped.

She had frozen.

"She's either gonna go right back to being normal, or she's going to kill someone." Kathryn commentated. "If she starts shaking, someone needs to knock her out."

Alice didn't start shaking. Her eyes narrowed and she looked up at Kathryn. "You're an idiot Kathryn. Don't talk about me as if I'm not here."

"And she's back!" Kathryn said happily, throwing her hands into the air.

Alice smiled halfheartedly at Kathryn. Kathryn was only half right. Alice had returned as much as she could. She didn't think she would ever be fully back for a very long time.

**First Person Alice!**

I sighed and my eyes fell on Itachi who was watching me carefully. I gave him the best smile I could before sitting on the computer chair. I rubbed the back of my neck until my eyes fell on the calendar beside the computer.

"Kathryn, what day is it today?" I asked.

"A Friday." She informed me.

I sighed again. "Shit. I'm late."

Kathryn's eyes instantly widened and she was on her feet staring Itachi down in seconds. "YOU!" She growled, jabbing a finger in his direction.

Itachi looked thoroughly confused. "Me?"

She wheeled around to me. "You! I dun wanna be an aunt yet!" She shouted.

I smacked my forehead. "You're a fucking dumbass. Don't jump to such conclusions."

She looked confused. "So wait… you're not…"

"No Kathryn." I growled. "Now apologize to Itachi for yelling at him. That was rude."

Kathryn looked really sorry as she turned to Itachi. She threw a hug on my weasel. "I'm very sorry for yelling at you Itachi!"

Itachi raised an eyebrow at her, still confused as hell. "It's quite alright, Kathryn."

"What the hell was that about, un?" Deidara wondered.

I sighed. "I missed my woman time this month. Kathryn jumped to conclusions, thinking that it was Itachi's fault."

"Wait… What?" Hidan asked with a hint of disgust on his face.

I smacked my forehead again. "I missed my menstrual cycle. And since the most common reason for that is pregnancy, Kathryn assumed that Itachi was the cause. However, I can assure you that Itachi and I have not had sexual intercourse."

I internally begged for Tobi's forgiveness.

Disgusted faces ruled the emotions of the more emotional members. Itachi, Kakuzu, Pein, Konan, Sasori, and surprisingly Kisame all looked concerned. Zetsu didn't seem to care either way. I didn't blame him. It wasn't that big of a deal.

Konan looked at me with concern. "What do you think the cause is?"

"Stress." I told her with a shrug. "It's happened to me before so don't worry about it."

"What the hell are you so stressed about?" Hidan questioned. Either he's being an ass, or he's just as stupid as Kakuzu claims he is.

I frowned at him. "Well it certainly isn't because I have ten criminals in my house. It definitely isn't caused by the fact that I have a lot of shit going on in my life." I shrugged. "It must be because I missed the latest episode of Bleach this week."

"I do know what sarcasm is you know." Hidan frowned. "You're being bitchy. Are you sure you're not on it right now?"

"Hidan, I will decapitate your ass." I growled. I paused before I went on a temper tantrum and took a deep breath. "Sorry Hidan. That was mean."

"No it wasn't." Sasori told me.

Hidan waved off my apology. "Don't sweat it Alice. It doesn't bother me."

Conversation flowed after that, and I was absorbed in the love of my cat-people. I found myself being in the lovable embrace of Itachi for the rest of the night. He constantly told me he loved me in a quiet whisper, breathing his confessions into my ear.

How could I live the rest of my life without that?

In time I was in so much pain I excused myself to go and sleep my issues away. Itachi went up with me. He was obviously extremely concerned. Damn him for being so easy to love. But I thank everything for him too.

I easily fell asleep in between him and Kisame that night. It wasn't the best night of my life though.

I woke up the next morning to a loud crack. I shot straight up in my bed with Itachi and Kisame who both instantly went into ninja mode.

My jaw positively hit the floor when I saw what the cause of the crack was.

Louis had kicked my door down.

* * *

_Ah, suspense!_

_The good thing about me being sick is that my sarcasm gets better because I'm too sick to care._

_Alas, my creativity dies.  
_


	30. Chapter 30

_Well your reviews were quite fun to read. Lol._

_Sorry about the awesome cliffy. _

_I was laughing manically as I posted it._

_The angry yet loving reviews were so enjoyable. They made my "I'm-still-sick" mood bearable.  
_

_You guys may hate me for this chapter more though._

_My A/N at the bottom is going to be longish because I have to tell you a funny story. Well I think it's funny.  
_

_I'm still not the own of the Akatsuki. You better believe I'm working on it though.  
_

* * *

"AHHA!" Louis shouted loudly, pointing at me. "I KNEW YOU WERE FUCKING SLEEPING WITH THEM!" He marched into the room with Brett bouncing behind him.

Before we go any further, I'd like to explain my emotions to you.

Excitement: I was utterly thrilled to see Louis and Brett again. I missed the shit out of them and I don't think I could hug them enough since I hadn't hugged them in god knows how long.

Happiness: I was extremely happy to see them. I loved Louis and Brett to death. I'd known them my entire life and they were the family I had always needed.

Worry: I was worried because I was pretty sure someone was going to die in a few seconds. Whether it be Louis and Brett for scaring the shit out of two murderous ninja, or those two murderous ninja for sleeping in the same bed at me, I didn't know.

Desire: I don't know about you, but I think a shirtless Itachi with his hair down and a shirtless Kisame at nine in the morning in defensive stances, preparing to protect you is fucking sexy as hell. I even drooled a bit before my last and strongest emotion set in.

I. Was. Pissed.

The first thing Louis does when he sees me after all that time apart is fucking kick my door down and start yelling at me. He woke me up by kicking my door down. _My _door. Then he has the nerve to go off on me. I was not okay with this. In fact, I did something that I would never do if I wasn't as furious as I was.

"Louis James Cooling, you shut the fuck up right now!" I snapped, glaring at him.

Louis stopped dead in his tracks and stared at me in shock. Even Brett looked taken aback. Itachi and Kisame relaxed when they saw I was getting up to get in Louis's face.

"Excuse me?" Louis asked in a challenging voice.

I frowned. "Oh don't you even start Louis." I marched over to him. "I see you for _one_ fucking second after more than two months of not seeing you at all, and the first thing you do is start yelling at me? Where the fuck do you get off doing that?" I poked his chest. "My door was _not _locked and there_ is_ a handle on it. It was not fucking necessary for you to kick it down!"

Oh I was going to slit this man's throat.

"I had a fucking shitty day yesterday, and you get pissed at them for trying to comfort me in your stead because you were in a different fucking country!" I ranted. "I don't even want to hear you say another damn word to me unless it's a fucking apology."

Louis was gawking at me. I'd never talked to him like that. No one had. Not even Brett who was really the only person who could keep him under control.

I had never talked to anyone like that. That's what happens when you bottle your emotions as much as I do.

Damn.

My eyes flicked over his shoulder to a gaping Brett. "Hi Bee." I said happily.

A smile instantly broke out on his angelic face. "Alice." Brett said with an enthusiastic smile. He tackled me back onto my bed, smothering me with hugs and kisses.

If he wasn't gay and happily in a relationship this would be awkward…

"I missed you so much Alice!" Brett sang. He hugged me.

"I missed you too, Brett." I assured him. "I'm just genuinely surprised you haven't attacked any of the Akatsuki yet."

Brett shook his head. "Nope, I wanted to see you first. By the way, you guys looked so damn cute before Louis woke you up." He nuzzled my face. "Besides, I could never bring myself to cheat on Louis; even if the person was as hot as the Akatsuki boys."

He was so sweet. He reminded me of Tobi mixed with Kisame.

The _ultimate_ sweetness.

"What the hell is going on in here, un?" Deidara's voice demanded. "One second there's a really loud crack and then Alice is yelling at someone, yeah."

"Brett! Louis!" Kathryn screamed as she released Deidara, tackling Louis from behind and knocking him onto the bed and Brett and I.

"Kat!" Brett cheered.

Cue love fest!

"What is going on?" Sasori asked, looking at Kisame and Itachi.

"Alice's friends returned from wherever they went and barged into the room. The short one kicked down the door and started yelling. But, Alice went psycho on him and now they're being strange on her bed." Kisame admitted with a shrug.

"I see." Sasori said, raising an eyebrow.

"Alice, I'm sorry, let's have make-up reunion sex!" Louis apologized, hugging me. "Hell, your Akatsuki friends can join too but I'm seme."

I started laughing instantly. Leave it to Louis to apologize sincerely in a very inappropriate way.

"I appreciate the offer Lu, but I'm gonna have to pass." I told him with a smile. "Can you guys let me up? I need to go to the bathroom."

Though they had no intention of letting me go, I managed to escape. Kisame just snickered at me the entire time as I crawled to my bathroom.

When I came out, Itachi and Kisame were sitting on my bed with Kathryn, Sasori, and Deidara while Louis interrogated them. Brett was just humming his own little tunes while spinning in my computer chair, oblivious to the world.

"Louis, leave the murderers alone." I scolded.

He frowned at me and pointed at Itachi. "This guy says he loves you."

"I love him too, Louis." I sighed. "Now leave them alone."

Louis crossed his arms stubbornly but kept his mouth shut.

I rolled my eyes at his antics before addressing the occupants of my room. "Come on guys, let's go eat." I looked at Sasori. "You get to keep me company because you don't eat."

He shrugged and stood but paused in following when Louis started snickering.

"What's so funny Louis?" Kathryn asked.

Louis snickered again. "Loofa." He shook his head. "That poor guy."

"Wait until you meet Shiny." I laughed. Louis started laughing at the thought.

Brett skipped ahead of me and led the way down the stairs. He frolicked to the kitchen and stopped in the doorway. I saw a grin stretch on his lips before he darted inside, out of my line of view.

"Oh no." I yelped, running after him.

I slid into the kitchen to see Brett latching onto Konan, telling her how beautiful and cute she was while Konan looked positively shocked. Pein was watching with narrowed eyes. Zetsu was snickering with Hidan while Kakuzu looked uninterested. Tobi was bouncing with excitement.

"Brett, you can't attack Konan like that." I scolded. "She doesn't know you."

"But she's so pretty!" Brett declared, releasing the blue-haired woman. "I'm not even attracted to her and I can see it." He pointed dramatically at Pein. "LOVE THIS WOMAN!"

Pein just gave him a flat stare. Konan blushed slightly.

I sighed. "Brett, you need to calm down."

He snickered and scurried over to Louis to latch onto his seme. "Louis, Hidan's sexy."

"Brett, as your boyfriend, I cannot allow you to talk about other men." Louis informed him. He looked at a shirtless Hidan. "Put a shirt on. While you are sexy, you're soiling my Alice's eyes."

Hidan started laughing. "Soiling? She's fucking seen us all naked!"

Louis's eyebrow rose and he looked at me. "Well?"

"I saw nothing below the waist!" I lied firmly. "It wasn't by choice either. They were cats and then poofed into humans."

Louis laughed, pointing at Hidan. "Ha Shiny."

"Might it interest you to know that she also had a shower buddy?" Kathryn chimed, grinning as I gave her a warning death glare.

Louis's head turned slowly back to face me. "What?"

I rubbed the back of my head. I didn't think I would be able to get out of this one by yelling at him again. "There's a perfectly good reason for that."

His eyes narrowed. "Who was it?" He questioned. His hand shot out and somehow a knife practically materialized out of thin air. "I want a name."

"I really don't think you should be threatening ninjas, Louis." I soothed.

"Fuck ninjas. I'm killing a sly bastard who showered with you." He growled, waving the knife in their general direction for emphasis. "Now speak!"

I crossed my arms stubbornly. "I refuse." I would never risk Itachi's life as such.

His eyes narrowed further and he turned completely around to give me his signature glare. "Oh really? Shall I interrogate you again?" He stabbed the knife into the counter and reached into another drawer, withdrawing tape, yarn, and a few sewing needles.

I yelped and ran away from him. "A little help would be appreciated!" I tossed over my shoulder. I could hear him giving chase.

I sprinted through the house, hearing Louis's heavy boots pounding behind me. I had no hope of escaping him. He was way too fast and way too crazy. I was screwed unless I had help.

**Third Person!**

"Should we be concerned?" Kakuzu wondered, looking at Brett.

Brett laughed. "Extremely. If he gets a hold of her, he's going to torture the shit out of her." He snickered and hoisted himself up on the counter to listen to Louis and Alice run around.

"Why aren't you trying to help her then?" Kisame asked.

Brett shrugged. "Louis isn't someone you can just stop. I'd have to knock him out to get him to stop. It's better just to let these things happen. Besides, I'm not strong enough to keep him away from Alice long enough for it to make a difference."

Pein looked at Kathryn. "And you're not helping her because…"

Kathryn smirked. "It's funny to watch Alice try to fight him. When he actually tapes her down to torture her, that's when it gets scary. I swear he would be the perfect Akatsuki member."

Pein sighed. "If it appears as though he is going to hurt Alice, I will have to step in."

"You mean one of us is going to have to step in." Hidan grunted.

Pein nodded, earning a giggle from Brett.

"Oh you guys are just too precious!" Brett squealed, grabbing Kathryn and squeezing her. "They're so lucky I'm happily engaged. If that were not the case, half of you would already be good and raped by now."

"That is disturbing…" Kisame admitted, edging away from the man.

Brett giggled. "I'm surprised Alice didn't try raping you all. She always talks about you guys, even before you became our cats." He grinned and nudged Kathryn. "Or even you Kat, I'm surprised Deidara and Sasori are still in one piece."

Kathryn pouted. "I tried. Kakuzu ripped me off Deidara at first. And Danna is mean. He locks me in the closet in the dark."

Sasori chuckled. "You deserved it."

"I did not Danna!" Kathryn protested. A crash sounded from the second floor.

"OUCH JASHIN DAMN IT LOUIS, DON'T FUCKING THROW BOOKS AT ME!" Alice's voice came from upstairs.

"DON'T FUCKING TAKE SHOWERS WITH SOME FUCKING CAT-MAN!" Louis shouted back.

"HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW IT WASN'T KONAN? WE COULD HAVE BEEN DOING LESBIAN SHIT!" Alice retorted. Konan looked utterly confused for a moment. A few of the others snickered. Kathryn burst out laughing.

"THEN WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU FILM IT FOR ME?" Louis hollered in return. "BESIDES, YOU'RE LIKE THE STRAIGHTEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET!"

"CAN'T SAY THE SAME ABOUT YOU, YOU ASSHOLE!" Alice snapped.

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT! NOW GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!" Louis agreed loudly.

Itachi looked at Brett. "Does this happen often?"

"About once a week." Brett nodded, picking his nails with the knife Louis had stabbed into the counter. "They'll be back down here in a few minutes. Either he'll have caught her or she'll try to hide behind one of you from him. I suggest you stay out of his way. He can get rather violent." He sighed.

Another boom sounded from the floor above them.

"HEY YOU LITTLE FUCKERS, YOU BREAK ANY OF MY SHIT I'LL KILL BOTH OF YOU!" Brett shouted.

"TRY ME BITCH!" Louis called. "IT TURNS ME ON WHEN YOU'RE FIESTY!"

"AHHA! FREEDOM!" Alice shouted. Thundering was heard on the stairs and seconds later Alice sprinted into the room, sliding around the table and hiding behind Hidan. "Hidan, protect me with your sexy muscles of psychotic-ness."

"What the hell?" He questioned.

"Where'd the bitch go?" Louis demanded, darting into the kitchen. He had a huge mark on the side of his face. "The little bitch hit me in the face with a shoe."

Alice snickered from behind Hidan. "Asshole deserved it…"

"There!" He exclaimed, pointing.

**First Person Alice!**

"Shit." I swore. I forgot I was supposed to be hiding. "Now Louis, before you do something you'll regret, listen to me."

"Nope." Louis growled. "I want answers. You give em to me right now, or your ass is getting taped to the kitchen table and I'm going to practice my torturing skills on you."

Kathryn smiled. "Such rage."

"You know too don't you." Louis hissed, turning to glare at Kathryn.

She eeped and ran away from him to cling to Deidara. "Nope, I was too busy making bombs with Deidara."

"Lies." I growled. "You liar! It was your idea!"

"It's not my fault you're completely against someone of the same gender seeing you naked! I would have helped you but no! You had to get high off your rocker on pain killers!"

"It's Adam's fault! Not mine!" I snapped. In my argument with Kathryn, I was oblivious to the fact that Louis had jumped on the kitchen table and had made it over to me. "OH FUCK!"

"That's right you little shit." He snarled. He jumped on me and hit the pressure points in my legs to keep me from running away so he could get tape.

"Quick arms! Pull me away!" I begged, using my functional limbs to drag my sorry ass away from the table. Hidan was laughing his ass off at me while the others watched with moderate interest. Even Itachi and Kisame were just watching me meet my death.

Louis cackled at my efforts and dragged me back into the room by my ankles. He quickly lifted me on the table and began duct taping me to the wooden slab of wonders.

Once I was secure, he grabbed a spoon from the silverware drawer and came to my side. "Alright Alice, who was it?"

"I refuse to tell." I said firmly.

He frowned and cracked my knuckles with the spoon. "Tell me, or I'll tickle you."

"I'm not ticklish jackass, so nice try." I snapped.

"Damn, I forgot you weren't ticklish." He swore. "No matter, I'll just give you paper-cuts." He hurried to the pantry.

"NO!" I whined. "Tobi! I'll give you candy! Let me go!"

Tobi made to step forward to help me but was stopped when a knife embedded itself into the wall right next to his head. Louis was glaring in his direction.

"Touch her and I'll cut your eyes out pumpkin boy." Louis snarled.

"He's scary." Tobi whispered.

"Ah! My only defense has disappeared!" I cried. "Quick! Sasori! Help!"

He frowned at me. "Out of all the people in this room to ask, you pick me? _Me? _I'm probably enjoying your torture more than Hidan and the boy doing to you are."

"You're a just a stupid, lame puppet. You're an artistically confused moron who has poor taste. You've gone senile with old age. You should be thrown in a loony bin! Deidara's opinion on art is better than yours!" I snarled. Kathryn and Deidara were cracking up laughing.

"Your name is Louis, correct?" Sasori questioned, watching Louis extract torture devices from the pantry.

Louis looked up at him. "Yes. What about it?"

"I'm killing her." Sasori growled. "I'll tell you who it was once I'm done."

Louis cackled. "You can help me torture her, but you can't kill her." He grinned at me. "I bet you wish you wouldn't have insulted him now don't you Allie?"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" I shouted. I hated when people called me Allie. Alice or Al were the only acceptable variations of my name. "MY NAME IS NOT ALLIE!"

"Louis, leave Alice alone." Brett sighed. "This screaming is driving me nuts."

"Deal with it." Louis snapped.

Itachi sighed as I bit Sasori's puppet arm when it was in my reach. "Alice, why don't you just tell him?"

I released my captive. "Obviously because if I did, whoever said person was would be dead or in the same situation I'm in."

"You do realize that as ninja, we could kill this boy before he even landed a hand on us, right?" Kisame stated.

"**I could just eat him…**" Zetsu suggested hopefully.

"Sasori, leave Alice alone." Konan scolded.

"Ha! Take that puppet fucker!" I snapped. I looked to Kisame. "And I know, but still, I don't want you guys to have to hurt him either."

Itachi sighed again. "Louis, I was the one who helped Alice in the shower."

Louis's glare snapped up to Itachi. "So it _was _you. I thought so."

"Now flee Itachi!" I ordered.

"Hn." He stated, giving me a soothing look. His orbs flashed to Louis. "I helped her only because she wasn't able to stand by herself. She was extremely weak and light headed. She had lost a lot of blood and she was on drugs."

Louis looked at me for confirmation.

I nodded. "He's telling the truth. It was after I came back from Adam's. It only happened once. I promise. Now can you get this tape off of me? I need to go hide because Sasori looks like he's going to kill me."

"I'd like to." Sasori stated.

"Oh you big baby, I was just kidding. I didn't mean any of it. I actually like your opinion on art. I like Deidara's too." I sighed. "No let me go."

Louis ripped my limbs free of the tape before I rolled off the table and scurried away from him to go and hide behind Zetsu. He would either protect me or eat me. Either way, I was safe from Sasori and Louis.

Louis walked over to Brett and kissed his cheek randomly. "So why were you suffering blood loss?" He asked.

"Adam's an asshole, that's why." Kathryn admitted.

Louis snickered. "I know that sweetie. I meant to ask what he did to cause it."

Then his eyes landed on something. Darting away from Brett, I was pinned to the fridge in the next second.

He pushed my hair out of my face to see a scar left by Adam that went over my left temple. It was one of the scars Kakuzu had to stitch up for me.

"Who did this?" He growled, looking over the Akatsuki. His evil side was coming out right then and there.

God Louis's bipolar behavior is making me dizzy.

"That Adam fucker from the mall did it." Hidan informed him, obviously oblivious to the entire conversation beforehand. Sometimes that Jashinist is so inattentive. "Kakuzu had to stitch it up for her because it was bleeding a shit ton."

Louis's icy blue orbs landed on Kakuzu. "Did she have any other injuries?"

Kakuzu nodded. "I had to stitch up ten wounds. Konan healed her dislocated shoulder, broken wrist and her three broken fingers." Kakuzu told him. "He also broke four of her ribs. She was in bad shape when we saved her. That is why she was suffering blood loss."

Louis's eyes were blazing as he released me and marched out of the kitchen.

A few minutes later he returned with his gun in his hand. "Alice, give me my keys to my hummer." He barked.

My eyes widened. "Uh Louis, it's not that big of a deal. It's in the past now. Don't go and do something stupid."

Louis held his hand up in front of my face to shut me up. "Be quiet Alice. I'm going to kill that fucker." He looked at the Akatsuki as he grabbed his keys off the key ring. "Do any of you want to come help me kill this asshole?"

"I fucking do!" Hidan said happily.

"No." Pein scolded. Hidan looked sad but didn't argue.

Louis shrugged. "Suit yourselves. Come on Brett."

Brett threw me a look that clearly told me not to worry as he followed after Louis.

A silence filled the room before the door slammed.

Sasori looked at me when Brett and Louis were gone. "What the hell is wrong with them?" I sighed.

"Louis is really protective and possessive of me and Brett. He's on the warpath because Adam hurt me." I admitted. Silence ensued again.

Kathryn skipped over to me, releasing Deidara. "Hey Alice, now that Bee and Lulu are back, where are Pein, Konan, Hidan, and Kakuzu going to sleep?"

That was a damn good question.

"Don't worry about that." Pein stated.

I frowned looked at him. "Why not?"

"We will be returning to our world tomorrow." Pein informed us.

"…" I gawked at him. I never thought when he said soon yesterday that he meant _that_ soon. It was _too_ soon. I wasn't ready.

I wasn't ready to lose Itachi.

I wasn't ready to lose any of them.

"…" Kathryn started hyperventilating.

Well world, I think Kathryn just died.

She screamed and ran from the room. I stood there with my eyes closed in a wince, flinching when she slammed one of the doors upstairs.

"You do realize you probably just caused her to have a heart attack right?" I asked coldly, looking at Pein. "You could have eased it on her you know."

"You're not surprised?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm better at keeping my composure." I informed him. "Plus, when I heard you say you guys were leaving soon yesterday, I started preparing myself. I just didn't think you meant this soon." I crossed my arms.

"You heard us?" Itachi asked. It was obvious he felt bad by his tone and expression.

I nodded. "Why do you think I was so upset yesterday?" I sighed. "As of right now, there isn't anything else that could have upset me like that." I rubbed the back of my neck. "I'm going to go see if Kathryn is still alive."

"Alice." Itachi stated, gaining my attention. "Are you alright?"

"No." I told him truthfully. "It's not your guys' fault though. You guys deserve to be able to go home. I don't blame you."

With another sigh I left the kitchen and went upstairs. I could hear Kathryn weeping in the guest bedroom but I couldn't bring myself to go inside. I was hollow as I went into my room and walked directly to my bathroom.

I shut the door and locked it behind me before I slid to the floor in the corner and literally shut down.

I was oblivious to everything but Kathryn's sobs coming from the other room.

* * *

_Ladies and gentlemen, my marvelous readers;_

_we have made it to 30 chapters. But fortunately, we are not done. Or unfortunately. I don't know if you like my story or not. That's up for you to decide._

_Anywho, I'm a pleased banana because this bitch is almost over. But then again, I'm actually quite sad. This was fun to write._

_Now, I'm going to story time for a minute. Don't hate me.  
_

_There was this little freshman boy today at school wearing an Akatsuki beanie. Now this boy and I have never exchanged words. _

_We've given friendly nods in the hallways when we walked by each other and it was only the two of us on opposite sides of the hallway. It's those really awkward ones. _

_But I'm getting off topic; back to the story._

_So I was at one end of the hallway and he was at the other. I saw his hat and I totally flipped out. It was extremely unnecessary to anyone who isn't Akatsuki-obsessed. But it's me we're talking about.  
_

_I linebacker tackled this kid. While I have him pinned to the ground I'm hugging the life out of him, telling him he was my new best friend._

_He's pissing his pants and I'm planning my theft of his hat.  
_

_Moral of the story, don't wear awesome hats when I'm in the area._

_Sethy-Poo was with me and he told me that he had expected that entire scenario. He knows me so well._

_Anywhozal, I love you guys. I'm gonna go stab my forehead because I have a migraine.  
_


	31. Chapter 31

_Well guys, this is the second to last chapter. There will be one more._

_It's kinda short but hey, it gets the job done._

_I don't own Naruto._

_Enjoy my dears.  
_

* * *

"Alice…" A voice whispered in my ear.

I ignored it.

I felt something brush against my forehead and my name was whispered again.

I ignored it.

Something pressed against my cheek and the whisper turned urgent as my name was said again. I barely felt anything.

I ignored it.

"Alice, please answer me." The voice said in a plea. I wanted to die when I recognized the owner. My pain crashed against me once again.

"Alice." The voice said firmly. This time it was an order. Not a request.

I tore my gaze away from the floor of the bathroom to search for the voice. My heart clenched when I saw Itachi was the one beside me. I was in his lap, on the floor of the bathroom.

"Alice, I'm so sorry." Itachi whispered when he noticed he had my attention. I could hear the pain and sadness in his voice and it hurt. "This is a shock to me too. Even I didn't know it would be this soon. I'm sorry Alice." I felt him stroke my cheek with his thumb gently. I twitched slightly when I realized it was wet.

I had been crying.

I've only cried once in my memory. This would be the second.

"Itachi." I whispered, closing my eyes. "I don't want you guys to leave."

Itachi held me tighter. "I don't want to leave you, Alice."

I leaned into him. "I love you."

I felt Itachi clench his jaw. "I love you."

"Itachi, I love you so much." I told him again.

I'm not sure how many times I told him that. I'm not sure how long we sat there. The only thing I did notice other than Itachi was Kisame when he came in to check on us.

"Kisame." I whispered.

Kisame winced at my tone and sat on the ground beside us. "Hey kid."

"Kisame, I love you." I stated, still clutching Itachi.

Kisame smiled sadly at me. "I love you too, kid." He stroked my cheek. "Promise me you'll take care of yourself when we leave tomorrow. Okay?"

I nodded, not really hearing his question as I grabbed his hand. "I will."

He smiled at me gently, squeezing my hand with his massive powerful one. "Thank you."

Still holding onto Itachi, I hugged Kisame. I loved this shark man just as much as I did Brett and Louis. He reminded me of my older brother who I'd always been so close to. However, in a way, Kisame was even more brotherly than my real brother ever could be, but I didn't really love him in a brotherly way. At this moment he seemed closer to me than Brett and Louis did.

And I didn't mean that literally.

My love for my shark is complicated but it's super strong.

I was so absorbed in hugging Kisame and Itachi that I didn't even notice falling asleep.

Waking up the next morning wasn't much better. I was sure I looked like hell. I didn't even bother going to my bathroom to wake up properly. The only thing that mattered this morning was holding onto Kisame and Itachi. Which I did more than willingly…

At about nine, I wanted to get up to go and say my goodbyes to everyone else. Putting on an emotionless façade, I left my room with Itachi and Kisame and went straight down stairs.

Brett and Louis didn't come home last night.

They had sent me a text saying that they weren't going to, but I didn't see it until this morning. And honestly, I couldn't bring myself to care.

I entered the kitchen to see Pein, Konan, Kakuzu, Hidan, Zetsu, and Tobi all in the kitchen. I detached myself from Itachi and Kisame to hug Tobi.

I didn't miss Itachi's pained expression when he saw me shudder when I hugged Tobi. I was swallowing my sadness and tears as I hugged the masked man. He hugged me back enthusiastically, rumpling my hair.

"Tobi is going to miss Alice-chan very much!" Tobi told me.

I smiled. "I'll miss you too, Tobi."

"Where are Kathryn, Deidara, and Sasori?" Kisame asked.

"They're still in their room." Hidan stated. "Kathryn's having a harder time than Alice is adjusting."

I released Tobi to look at the occupants of the kitchen. "She's just more emotional than I am." I leaned against the counter for support. I wasn't sure if I had the strength to hold myself up. "To be quite honest, this is just a mask of composure." I sighed. "They're coming."

We all looked to the entrance as Kathryn entered first looking like she just came back from the grave. Deidara looked crushed as she dragged him into the room. Sasori came in after them, running a hand through his hair with a sigh.

Kathryn looked at me. "How do you not look like shit right now?"

"Wait until they actually leave." I told her. I looked at Pein. "So when are you leaving?"

"Within the hour." Pein informed me.

I nodded and walked over to Hidan. I hugged the shit out of him. He smiled at me and hugged me back. Though he was kind of an ass, I loved Hidan to death and I wouldn't change a damn thing about him. He's perfectly psychotic and sexy as he is.

"I'll miss you bitch." Hidan stated. "Spread the word of Jashin-sama for me will you?"

I laughed once and squeezed him tighter. "Of course Hidan."

I released him to go and hug Kakuzu. "I'll miss you Kakuzu." To my surprise, he hugged me back, rumpling my hair gently.

"Me too kid." Kakuzu told me. He was like one of those awesome, overly-kind uncles that get you the coolest shit on Christmas mixed with the uncles who are like the life of the parties with their jokes and drunken singings. Only, Kakuzu didn't get drunk and sing. He was way too cool for stuff like that.

By the time I moved on to Zetsu, everyone had finished eating.

"Bye Zetsu." I whispered. "I love both of you."

"Goodbye Alice." Zetsu said kindly. "**See you brat.**"

I followed the others outside to where there was a bunch of symbols and shit all over my back yard. This was where they would leave me.

I killed Deidara with the intensity of my hug as Kathryn said goodbye to Hidan.

"I love you Dei." I stated. He was like a big, lovable, pyro-manic, brother. We had had some serious bonding time over those fireworks he got. Sasori did not appreciate our team efforts to annoy the piss out of him. I was totally going to miss the terrorist.

Deidara hugged me back. "I love you too, yeah." He looked at me. "Take care of Kathryn for me, un. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to her because of me, hmm."

"I promise." I said with a smile. He let me go as I moved on to my next goodbye.

"Pein, get your ass over here right now and say goodbye to me." I ordered pointing at the ground beside me for emphasis. "You lived in my house for over two months so you're hugging me whether you like it or not."

Pein gave me a flat stare but walked over to me. "Alice, you could have just asked."

"Yeah, but it was fun to scold you." I laughed.

He shrugged and nodded at me with an eye twitch. I did the same in response before I hugged him, smiling at our code.

"Bye Pein." I said after releasing him. "I'll miss you my fearless leader." He chuckled.

"Goodbye Alice. Thank you for taking care of us when we needed you." Pein told me.

I nodded and told him it was my pleasure before tackling Sasori.

"Sasori." I muttered.

"Hey Alice." He said with a smirk, holding onto me.

"I'm going to miss you so much." I told him. "I won't have anyone intelligent to talk to after you leave." I hugged him tighter. "No more sarcasm battles."

"I'm going to miss those." Sasori admitted. "It's going to be rather lonely without you bickering with me."

"Thank you Sasori." I said, kissing him on the cheek.

"Thank _you_, Alice." Sasori told me, returning my hug.

That was a first.

Now it was Konan's turn.

"Konan, I don't know how I could ever thank you for what you did for me." I said as I hugged her. "I'm gonna miss you like crazy. You're my favorite girl right alongside Kathryn."

She giggled. "I'll miss you too, Alice. It was such a pleasure meeting you both. And what I did was payment to you for taking such good care of us so selflessly. Thank you."

"Why can't everyone be as nice as you?" I asked, releasing her. She just smiled and shrugged.

"Kisame, get over here so I can hide you in my pants from Pein." I ordered. He laughed when a few of the others paused to look at me in confusion. Walking over to me, he lifted me off the ground in a bear hug.

"Kisame, you're my favorite person ever." I told him seriously as I buried my face into the crook of his neck. "I love you."

I was going to miss Kisame more than just about anything. I mean I shared a bed with the guy for such a long time. But, I would miss him because of how sweet and loving he is. Though he's a cool-blooded killer 99 percent of the time, he's _my _kind and lovable shark the other 1 percent of the time. It's the only percent I had seen out of him.

Except for when he tried to eat Hidan for almost hurting me. Then he was scary.

Kisame chuckled and hugged me tighter. "I love you too kid."

Once our longer than normal hug, I walked over to Itachi. Kathryn was crying on Sasori, but I could tell that when it came time for her to say goodbye to Deidara, she would be bawling. Sasori looked like he was sharing Kathryn's pain. It looked as if he felt her sobs were his fault.

It was so sweet and yet so sad.

"Itachi, I love you." I told him as I hugged him.

He grabbed my chin and brought my face to his so he could kiss me.

"I love you Alice." He said.

The next kiss he gave me relayed all of his emotions to me. He was sad and it hurt to feel that. I felt fear and pain as well. However, I could feel his love for me the most as he continued the kiss. And I pushed all of my being into showing him my love through the simple gesture.

"I'll never forget you Alice." Itachi whispered in my ear. His voice was filled with pain.

I replied with the same as I watched him walk away from me to join the other members next to Pein in the mass of symbols. I narrowed my eyes when he began waving hand signs.

I hugged Kathryn who was on her knees, bawling her eyes out and we both watched my cats leave with a huge poof.

Our lives went back to the same old lifeless routine we had before we lived.

We were alone.

They had taken half of us with them.

* * *

_Alice is so emotional! :( It's such a change!_

_Lol. But anyways, there will be one more chapter after this one, and I'll be asking you guys a very important question._

_But right now, I get to go jump in a big pool of ice cold water in three inches of snow, for the special olympics._

_For BPA, we raised money for the Special Olympics and I raised a large amount so I get to go do the polar plunge._

_Right after I got better from pneumonia. Smart, I know._

_But anywho, I love you guys, your reviews make me happy._

XxXMiiDNiGhTXxX_, you get a special recognition because of your most recent review. That made my day lol._

_Thanks to all of you guys who read, favorited, alerted, and reviewed. I honestly appreciate it. :)  
_


	32. Chapter 32

_Last chapter guys._

_Thanks for sicking with it if you have._

_It's been fun._

_I was going to wait until Monday to post this, but I decided I loved you guys so I'm posting it now._

_Big important question at the bottom._

_I don't own the Akatsuki. Just Alice, Louis, Brett, and Kathryn._

_Enjoy my loves.  
_

* * *

"Alice! Get your ass down here and eat or else I'll come up there and eat you!" Louis shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

I sighed and pushed away from my computer. I'd been staring at the same picture for over an hour. It was a picture of Kisame and Itachi. It was my favorite.

It was July now; six months have passed since they left. And to be honest, life sucks shit without the Akatsuki. It felt so empty and boring.

I had drifted deeper into my long-term state of depression.

Very few things stood out to me now.

I went to one of Louis's classes with him when Brett got sick back in June. His therapist jumped down my throat after about ten minutes in. When he asked me how long my depression had been going on, I answered him honestly. I'd technically been depressed since 8th grade.

He wanted to throw me in a loony bin, but that only forced Louis into a psycho spree. He flipped out and almost killed the guy. He does not take kindly to anyone trying to take me away from him. I was rather touched.

Kathryn had become more like me in multiple ways.

She rarely talked to anyone anymore. I felt bad about it because some people blamed me for her drastic change in behavior, and I honestly couldn't bring myself to tell them it wasn't my fault. However, she always tells me she's more than happy to just have me.

Her mom was concerned and she came to me about it. I just told her that she was worried about me. Her mom didn't question this because she knew my personality.

Our lives were filled with half-assed emotions and uneventful days.

A few good things did happen in those six months. Kathryn and I both scored 5's on all of our AP tests and we both graduated from high school a year early. I was now done with that death trap.

I got no satisfaction out of any of it.

My night terrors were now a once a week thing. I no longer slept in my room now. I slept in Brett and Louis's bed with them. Even in Louis's protective embrace and Brett's overly-loving one, I never felt happy. I was never secure.

Maybe we over reacted a bit, but when you're socially unaccepted and you get accepted by other social outcasts, a bond forms. A very strong one…

I frowned as Louis shouted for me again though I was at the bottom of the stairs.

"Alice, do not make me come up there!" Louis growled.

Walking into the kitchen I hit him in the back of the head. "Oh shut up you raging homo." I snapped.

He pouted and kissed my cheek, wrapping his arms around my neck in a loving gesture. "She's so sexy when she's feisty."

"And you're a pervert." I retorted.

Brett giggled. "You have a guest sweetie."

I looked towards him without interest to see Kathryn sitting beside him. She smiled at me. I could tell it was a half-assed smile. I expected to see her there. We were always together.

"Hey Kat." I said, returning her smile. "When did you get here?"

"Just now." Kathryn admitted with a shrug. "Louis demanded I come over. I'm not sure why though."

"You two need to get laid. You're both being sourpusses and I hate it." Louis announced as he plopped a plate of food before me.

I rolled my eyes. "You're being a perverted asshole and I hate it, but I never said anything."

"Alice." Brett scolded in a tone of disapproval. "Don't be rude."

"Yes mommy." I sighed, resting my chin in my palm.

Louis glared at me from across the table. "You haven't been sleeping."

"What else is new?" I questioned.

"Alice, don't make me fucking hurt you." Louis snapped. "You've been forcing yourself to stay awake so you don't have nightmares. I know you are because I wake up and see you doing it." He pointed his knife at me. "Knock it off."

I sighed again and nodded. "Sorry Lu, but I can't help it. I hate the feeling."

"Get over it." Louis growled. "You're hurting yourself more by not sleeping at all."

"Alright, alright, I get it. I'll stop." I said defensively, raising my hands in defeat.

Kathryn looked at me sadly. "Alice, you should get help about those."

I frowned. "No thank you. Louis already flipped a shit on one therapist; I don't need him doing that to another one."

"Nobody touches my Alice and gets away with it." Louis snarled. "She's only allowed to leave if I say she can." He kissed my forehead. "Right cutie?"

"Right." I said absently, not really hearing him.

I ate about three bites of the food he made me and suddenly felt full. Louis always gave me the smallest portion because I was never hungry and couldn't finish my plate if there wasn't a small amount. This time, I didn't even eat half of it.

"Alice, are you okay?" Brett asked, reaching across the table to feel my head.

"I'm fine Bee, I don't feel very well today." I admitted. "I have a migraine. And I'm not hungry." I looked at Louis. "I'm sorry Louis, I can't eat all this."

He frowned at me. "It's fine, don't make yourself sick."

"Now that you mention it, my head hurts really badly too." Kathryn announced.

I looked at Louis and raised my eyebrows at him. "Maybe it's your cooking."

"Hey, fuck you Alice." Louis snapped with a smirk. "You and your sarcasm can just suck my cock. Your insults are not appreciated."

"Neither is your cooking apparently." I muttered under my breath, loud enough for him to hear. Brett was snickering in his spot.

"Oh, just overdose on your painkillers." Louis growled, chuckling at my sarcasm.

"Louis!" Brett scolded. "Alice, why don't you go and take some of your pills. Give Kathryn some too. Please don't overdose."

"I wouldn't dream of it Bee." I told him, getting up from the table. "Hey Kat, come here."

"Kay!" She said, still giggling about me and Louis. She got up from her seat to join me by our medicine cabinet. I had about half the pills I did six months ago, thanks to a certain awesome female with blue hair.

I reached up to grab said bottle of pills when suddenly, I blacked out.

**Third Person!**

Brett and Louis both exchanged a worried glance when two clouds of smoke suddenly surrounded Kathryn and Alice. Both men instantly jumped to their feet and hurried over to where they should be.

Brett's eyes widened when he noticed all that was left in their stead was a small scroll. Frowning, he picked it up and opened it.

Louis peeked around him to look, his eyes narrowing in confusion when he saw what was written on the scroll was in Japanese. He nudged his lover. "What's it say?"

Brett's eyes closed after he finished reading the scroll and a smile found its way onto his face. "It says that Alice and Kathryn aren't going to be living with us anymore. It seems that our old cats missed them and summoned the girls to live with them. It's signed by the Akatsuki." He kissed Louis's cheek. "On the bright side, Alice and Kathryn won't be sad anymore."

"Oh those little fuckers are _so_ getting it if I ever see them again!" Louis growled despite his smile. He was internally happy for Alice and Kathryn.

**First Person Alice!**

I winced as I sat up, rubbing my head.

A bird tweeted, instantly gaining my attention.

I looked around in confusion when I noticed I was in the middle of an open field.

"What the fuck…?" I questioned, glaring around as if it was the field's fault I was alone and confused. "Where in the shit am I?"

When the grass and bugs didn't answer me, I tried a different approach.

"Am I dreaming?" I smacked myself in the face. "Nope, but my face hurts now."

I stood and looked around again as if the landscape would change if I changed my positions. "Well I'm not getting any answers just sitting around here. I'll just follow this lovely little dirt trail and see where the fuck I'm at."

I followed the strangely out of place dirt trail through more field to see more grass, more dirt, an occasional tree, and a fucking village.

That's right I said village.

Right smack dab in front of me was an old school village. I instantly assumed this was some terribly directed M. Night Shyamalan movie so I punched myself in the leg just to be sure. When I knew I wasn't dreaming, dead, suicidal and no weird creatures were coming to eat me because I was wearing a red shirt, I continued on my way.

It was around the time I almost reached the village when a huge explosion caught my attention.

Now normally I'd probably join the screaming hysterical people running away from the explosion, but I was lost, confused, pissed, and I wanted some fucking answers.

So you know what I did?

Yeah. I walked straight to that fucking explosion to see what was going down.

My eyebrows met in a V when I saw men wearing some very… familiar silver and black clothing and armor with strange animal masks. Oh hells to the fucking no. I did not just get transported at some anime convention. This would totally ruin my mood.

"KATSU!" A loud, powerful, ,_**familiar**_ voice shouted.

"Wait just one damn minute! I know that voice!" I yelled, running in the direction of said voice. And that is when I saw them.

Two men wearing black cloaks with red clouds were finishing off the last two of the ANBU ninja. One had long blond hair that covered half of his face and was partially up in a high ponytail. He was the one blowing shit up.

The other one was short and had a long metal tail thingy that resembled a scorpion's tail poking out of its butt. Said scorpion tail impaled the last two ninja easily.

Is it just me or does someone else see fellow social outcasts?

"DEIDARA!" I shouted, sprinting at the blond.

Said terrorist turned to look in my direction, raising a blond eyebrow in confusion. He had just enough time to cock his head to the side and say my name as if he was wondering what I was before approximately 160 pounds of teenager tackled him to the ground.

"Alice?" Deidara demanded with excitement in his voice.

"Oh Deidara you don't know how much I fucking missed you!" I told him. "I'm willing to get over my anger and confusion about being here because I missed you like crazy!"

"What are you doing here, un?" Deidara demanded, standing up with me. I was still hugging him because I'm pretty sure if I let him go, he'd disappear.

"Ah! The verbal tick! It's so refreshing." I said dreamily. "I do not know the answer to your question because I'm just as confused as you are."

"Is Kathryn here, yeah?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. She was with me before I woke up in that accursed field." I informed him. "She's probably around here somewhere."

"You really should keep track of your friends." A deep, raspy voice told me. I grinned.

"Yeah well you're just a puppet." I snapped, grinning at Sasori through Hiruko.

"We haven't seen you in months, and that's the best comeback you can give me?" He said in a disappointed voice. "I'm so disappointed."

I glared. "When we get somewhere safe, I want a fucking hug because I missed the shit out of you guys. That means no Hiruko." I smiled. "Only then will you get sarcastic comments from me."

"You know about Hiruko?" He questioned.

I scoffed. "Bitch please. I know _everything_ about you guys. Your absence only gave me more time to completely stalk you."

"Fair enough." He sighed.

I smiled happily. "Let us go! I want a hug." I pointed in some random direction.

"We should go back to base Danna, un." Deidara told Sasori. "Maybe someone else knows why Alice is here, yeah." He gave me a one armed hug. "Not that I'm complaining, un."

"I am." Sasori grumbled, retracting his super fantastic tail before he started off in a different random direction than from where I pointed.

"How far we going?" I asked after kicking Hiruko. Sasori tripped me with his tail a second later, only to laugh when I fell. Deidara helped me up so he could answer me.

"Not far, un." Deidara told me. "We only came out here to get something for Leader-sama." He showed me some scroll thingy.

"Ah." I nodded.

**Third Person!**

Kathryn rubbed her head as she sat up.

"Ouch, what the hell happened?" She asked no one in particular.

"Holy fuck, it fucking worked!" A familiar voice said loudly with a laugh.

Kathryn froze and her eyes snapped open. She saw she was in what appeared to be a spacious cave that was dimly lit. Her eyes searched for the owner of the voice until they landed on the speaker.

"Hidan?" She questioned.

"In the fucking flesh you skinny bitch!" Hidan said obnoxiously.

"Hidan!" Kathryn screamed. She was instantly on her feet, barreling into the Jashinist, knocking him off his feet. "Hidan I missed you so much!"

He frowned. "Ouch you fucker, that hurt. I missed you too but damn. Warn a guy would you?" He rubbed his ass as he picked her off the ground, standing.

A deep chuckle came from beside Hidan. Kathryn's attention snapped towards the owner and she squealed just as loudly as before when she glomped Kakuzu.

The miser caught her easily and allowed her to hug him and kiss his masked face.

"Kakuzu I missed you! I promise I'll never make fun of your obsession with money again!" She said with happy tears in her eyes. "I will rob people for you!"

"Thanks…?" Kakuzu asked with uncertainty and amusement in his voice. "However, where is Alice? We summoned her with you."

Kathryn shrugged. "She's probably around here somewhere."

"Aren't you concerned?" A slightly raspy, deep, playful voice questioned.

"Kisame!" Kathryn yelped. She dropped from Kakuzu to tackle-hug the shark. "Oh my Jashin I missed you guys like fuck!" She let him go in favor of hugging Itachi who returned it gently with a small smile.

"Itachi!" She said happily to his chest.

"Tobi missed Kathryn-chan!" A cheerful, chipper voice announced.

"Tobi, you crazy little bastard, get over here and hug me!" Kathryn ordered, releasing Itachi. She and Tobi met in the middle, jumping around as they held each other.

"**How did anyone miss that?** Oh be quiet, I think it's nice. I missed Kathryn and Alice.** No one asked you.** You did. **It was a rhetorical question!**" Zetsu growled.

"ZETSU!" Kathryn cried, hugging the plant man. "I'll become a carnivore now! I don't care! I just missed you!"

His white half chuckled and greeted Kathryn with kind words while the black half told her she was strange and he was going to eat her if she didn't go away.

"Danna, you're being really mean you know, un. It's not like she meant for that to happen. Though, it was pretty funny." A deep, voice said randomly in a pout. Kathryn's head snapped around suddenly to search for the source.

"Dei?" She questioned desperately. Her attention was locked on the entrance to the room she and the others were in.

"I _told_ you she was fucking somewhere around here Sasori. Now you can't be such an asshole." A sarcastic feminine voice snapped. "Move your ass Deidara, I have hugs to dish out!"

"They're both so energetic." Sasori's voice sighed.

**First Person Alice!**

I stepped out of the way smartly with Sasori just seconds before Deidara went flying back with the force of Kathryn's hug. I giggled before striding into the room she emerged from like I owned the place.

"Alright you murdering criminals, I want some answers." I said in mock anger. "But first, I'd really like hugs." A smile broke out on my lips.

"Alice." The sexiest voice in the world said.

I smiled and closed my eyes. "I've missed that sexiness." I turned to look at the most drool-inducing male ever created. "Hi Itachi."

He was instantly beside me, wrapping his arms around me in the hug I needed for six months. It was the best thing ever.

That was until he added a kiss.

Cue heart attack!

It was perfect. It was filled with his happiness and relief at being with me once again. His love swirled in me from the gesture. I gladly relayed the same feelings back to my most favorite weasel. Oh how I missed him…

"Itachi, I know you're overjoyed to see her and all, but I want a hug!" Kisame's amazingly amazing voice came from somewhere in the distance.

Itachi just flipped him off and kept kissing me.

I started laughing, along with the others.

Itachi let me go with a genuine smile and watched me patiently as I skipped over to my favorite shark. He lifted me off the ground in his arms, spinning me in a circle.

"I missed you Kisame!" I said with a relieved sigh.

"I missed you too, kid." He told me, resting his head against mine as I buried my face into his neck.

There is _nothing_ better than a Kisame hug.

I went around, hugging Kakuzu and Hidan, which I will admit was like lifting a huge weight off my shoulders. I missed the two immortals so much it was unreal. I'd even deal with Hidan's perverted behavior for the rest of my life if it meant I got to keep them.

I was tackled by Tobi which I returned happily before I mugged Zetsu with love. His black side didn't threaten to eat me, but he did tell me I was a weirdo. I took his word for it since I assumed he would be a good judge.

"Alright, someone give me Konan and Pein because I miss them too." I ordered, searching the room for the leaders. I found them just as I finished my sentence. "AHHA!" I scurried over to them and threw a hug on Konan.

"Konan, you have no idea how much I needed your female presence in my world. All I had was Kathryn since we both went emo." I told her, squeezing the life out of her.

She giggled. "I missed you as well Alice. It wasn't much better here since I don't even have the gift of Kathryn." She kissed my cheek. "It's very good to see you again."

"Likewise." I said. "You're officially my BFF." She just smiled in response.

"Pein-sama~!" I called, skipping over to the leader. I stopped about two feet from him and allowed my right eye to twitch before I bobbed my head once and flared my nostrils.

"Did you just say you saw a hippo eat your water bottle?" He asked in confusion.

"Yes I did!" I cheered. "You remembered!" I hugged him, breaking all of his bones with my embrace of love and affection.

He chuckled and patted my head. "How could I forget?"

"Because you're the leader of a criminal organization and the leader of a village and all together a very busy man that shouldn't spend his time remembering random stuff such as a code you formed with a teenager." I said. All in one breathe.

Damn I'm good.

He smiled and shrugged. "Our code is very important to me."

I awed and hugged him again. "Thank you Pein."

"You're welcome Alice." He said good-naturedly.

I let him go and turned to Konan. "You trained him well."

She giggled and gave me a convincing wink. "I learned from the best."

"Tobi?" I asked, knowing she meant me. She laughed.

I turned around to see Kathryn positively strangling Sasori, kissing the entirety of his face while Deidara nursed his swollen lips, watching her with a smile. If it was possible, Sasori would be suffocating. I assumed he would be extremely annoyed with Kathryn. However, he's sweet at heart and tolerated Kathryn's exuberance.

"Okay ladies, it's time to give me some answers." I announced, walking over to Itachi and taking his hand. He kissed the side of my head and brought me closer to him. I didn't mind. "Why are we here? I'm not complaining in the slightest, but I'd like to know."

"Well Uchiha and Dei-chan were being total pussies without you." Hidan informed me. "They just moped around the fucking base and lashed out at everyone."

"They only lashed out at you for calling them pussies." Kakuzu reminded his partner. "Hidan missed you both two. He was rather well-behaved because he missed you both so much."

"I was surprised." Konan chimed. "Even Tobi wasn't as hyperactive."

"Well I'm touched." I said, hugging Itachi. "Kathryn and I were downright useless without you guys too."

"Sasori was twice as bitter as he usually is." Kisame added.

"Is that possible?" I asked, throwing a smirk at the puppet master.

He glared. "Don't even start."

I just smiled and turned my attention to Pein as he broke in.

"So, by deciding that it would benefit the organization, I summoned you both here, to live with us." Pein explained. Hey… That kind of rhymes…

"Well I'm a pleased banana." I told him. That was an understatement of my feelings.

"Thank you Pein-sama!" Kathryn said, hugging him happily after she released Konan. "Alice and I are so glad to be back with you guys again! I can't even describe my happiness!"

"I concur." I nodded.

"So you agree to stay?" Konan asked.

"Hells yeah!" I cheered. "I'm not leaving you guys again! Besides, you can use my infinite knowledge in the future."

"What knowledge?" Sasori questioned. "The words 'Alice' and 'knowledge' don't even belong in the same sentence unless one is commenting on your lack of knowledge."

"Oh it is _on_ puppet man!" I snapped, turning dramatically to face Sasori and launch our sarcasm battle into action. "Sarcastic people pride themselves on their abilities to insult others with single words or phrases. Obviously you've been slacking, Danna." Sasori rolled his eyes.

Itachi chuckled and kissed me. "I love you Alice."

I looked up from sending my insult at Sasori to kiss him back. "I love you too Itachi."

Maybe living in the Naruto world with my gang of social outcasts wouldn't be so bad.

* * *

_Okay guys, this is important._

_Who wants me to make a sequel? _

_I've been thinking about doing it for a bit, and honestly I think it'd be fun._

_Tell me what you guys want. If enough of you tell me you want one, I'll start on it ASAP._

_However, if you guys don't want one, then I won't make one._

_It's all up to my lovely readers._

_Let me know in a review. _

_Btw, we're almost to 200. That's awesome you guys. And it makes me feel so loved. So thanks a ton. I never expected this to be so popular._

_I'm glad you guys liked it enough to even keep reading it._

_So thanks. And now, _Consider Yourselves Kitties_ is finally over.  
_


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